9. Returning
"A man without a vision of his future, always returns to his past."
- Author Unknown.
"Are you okay, babe?" Mikey asked worriedly as he plopped down on the couch beside her.
Sage shook her head, snapping out of her daze. The credits were already playing on the screen of the television, she noticed with a frown. Had she really been staring off so long that she actually missed the entire movie? That's just sad, she thought; she loved the Alien.
"I'm fine, Mikey. Why?"
"You don't look so good..." He brushed a few curls from her face, brushing her cheek affectionately. "Did Raph say something mean to you this morning?"
Her frown deepened but she shook her head. After sharing that little moment of intimacy, Raphael had ran out of the lair and she didn't see him until this morning. She wanted to talk to him so she cornered him in the kitchen, while he was having breakfast, and she really should've known better than to pick a fight with a guy when he was eating. Man or turtle, one just doesn't get between them and their food.
So they ended up arguing, and it was such a stupid argument. They didn't even fight about what she wanted to talk with him in the first place. Sage had scolded him about leaving without so much as a notice to anybody and Raph had responded by rudely pointing out she didn't have any say in what he did or didn't do. Much like she had done to him the other night.
Sage sighed. In the end, her only accomplishment was getting Raphael to flee out of the lair again.
"No, he didn't... Why, did you hear us fighting?" Sage said, breaking the silence. She grabbed his hand and moved his arm around her so she could nestle herself against him.
"A little... Raph's tone of voice is kinda hard to ignore," he joked. She snorted. "Seriously though, what happened? I thought you were getting along better..."
"We're getting along fine... we just have personalities that clash."
"Everyone's personality clashes with Raph's. He's like the moodiest turtle on the planet!"
"He's not that bad," she said softly.
As Mikey watched her with an unreadable expression, Sage hid her face by burying it on his plastron. She nuzzled the hard and cool surface fondly, hoping to distract him.
Although most wouldn't realize it, Mikey was surprisingly good at reading faces, especially hers, and he was also slightly overprotective of her. Not in a bad way of course. Sage was fairly sure their friendship was strictly platonic, but she wasn't ready for him to dig into what she was feeling for Raphael when she hadn't even done it herself.
"Well, if he gives you a hard time you talk to me and I'll kick his shell straight back into place," he said, breaking the silence.
She chuckled, hugging him even tighter delighted by his urge to defend her. "My knight in shiny shell!"
"Hey you're gettin' it!" He exclaimed with a giant grin.
"Oh geez, Mikey, you're starting to rub off on her," Donnie quipped in from his lab laughing.
"No, I'm not!" Mikey got a mischievous twinkle in his baby blue eyes as he looked down at her. "Wanna see what's a real 'rubbing off' from the Mikester?"
"Mikey..." She drawled warningly but he only smirked bigger. Sage tried to escape but he pounced on her, throwing her on her back on the couch as he started rubbing his face hard on her cheeks. "AHHHHH!"
Sage laughed, trying to shove him off of her but he was too heavy. He licked her face and started tickling her sides, still careful not to damage her healing wound. Sage made a face in mock disgust.
"Oh for the love of...! DONNIE! You have to save me from this sick and perverted mutant turtle!" she shouted out between giggles. Donnie's booming laugh echoed through the walls of the lair as he joined their playfullness.
"I'm coming to your rescue, my lady!"
Soon they both had turned the tables on Mikey and he was the one being pinned down on the floor as they ruthlessly attacked him with tickles.
Leonardo stood outside the main entrance of his home. He was frozen to the ground. His shame was a heavy weight that refused to leave his mind and he suddenly wasn't so sure if coming back was the right thing to do.
There were loud barks of laughter rumbling from behind the door and he could hear the smile in his father's voice. He felt a stab on his chest. How could he face them after what he had done? They were going to hate him. They were all going to look down on him with spite, and they would certainly tell him to disappear and never to return.
He was a monster.
And yet, Leo refused to turn around and walk away. He clenched his hands tightly, the veins in his arms bulging with the amount of blood pumping through them. It was enough of wallowing in self-loathing and self-pity.
Enough!
He took a deep steadying breath with his eyes closed and when he opened them again, Leo pushed the button. The gates opened to let him through, but he was not expecting the sight he was met with. Not at all.
Mikey had Donnie pinned down on the ground and he was pinching him on his sides, both of them howling with laughter. There was a woman he didn't know perched on top of Mikey. She was apparently trying to save the other turtle from his attack, and his father was sitting cross-legged on his meditation mat but far from being meditating and instead he was cheering them on.
Everything seemed to freeze mid-action as they saw him walk in, his brothers' faces were of utter disbelief. Long minutes dragged painfully until someone reacted. The first person to move was Splinter, who stood up and approached him with beady eyes filled with kindness.
"Welcome home, my son," he said. His voice didn't display a single ounce of malice or disappointment, only a genuine happiness to have him back. It completely stripped him of his defenses. Leo fell to his knees with tears streaming down his cheeks. When his father wrapped him in his arms, he clung to the back of his robes and he buried his face in his chest, sobbing heavily.
"I'm sorry, father!" he wailed. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's alright, Leonardo... everything is forgiven..." Splinter assured him softly. He gently withdrew him away from his chest and tilted his face up to him. "Wipe your tears, son, and make peace with your brothers."
He did as he was told. As he stood, Mikey engulfed him a bone-crushing hug that nearly sent him flying backwards.
"Holy shell, Leo, we missed you so much!" Mikey cried excitedly. Leo returned the hug just as fiercely.
"I missed you too, baby bro!" Leo pushed him at an arms' length, scanning his face still struggling to believe Mikey was right in front of him. "How are you here? April came looking for me, she said you were missing! I've been worried sick..."
"You were worried? That's rich!" Donnie joined them, fixing his brother with harsh hazel eyes. Leo flinched; he should've seen that one coming. "What have you been doing in South America all this time, Leo? You've been gone for nearly a year! Couldn't you have written to tell us you were fine?"
"I'm sorry, Donnie... I have no excuse for my behavior, I am clearly aware of that..." Leo mumbled with grief.
He closed his eyes, waiting for his brother to yell, or even to strike him. Whatever Donnie had ready for him, Leo was prepared to accept it willingly. He was completely surprised however, when instead he was pulled into another passionate hug.
"You freaking nutshell..." Donnie muttered, shaking his head. "Don't ever do this to us again, you hear? Never!"
"I promise I won't, Donnie. You have my word." He chuckled. As Donnie let him go, Leo's eyes fell on the woman who was standing back, watching everything curiously. He felt his heart skip a beat.
She was beautiful. He had never seen a woman so beautiful so close. Her hair was an array of unruly curls framing a lovely heart-shaped face with high cheekbones and an adorable cloud of sheer freckles dusting her nose. She had eyes like the sea, he noticed, and she didn't seem the least bit scared or baffled as she looked at him.
When she flashed him a smile, Leo felt a blush creep up his cheeks. His throat closed and he couldn't find the words to speak.
"Hi!" she chirped cheerfully. "I'm Sage. You must be Leo."
He nodded dumbly, frowning when his brothers laughed at his obvious shyness. Mikey wrapped an arm around her shoulders, grinning from ear to ear.
"Sage is my lovely wife!" He joked playfully. Leo could swear his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.
"Oh my god, Mikey! Are you mad?!" Sage swatted him on his plastron, scowling. She turned to Leo with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, he's still high from all that playing around. I'm not his wife. I'm his best friend."
"Sage saved your brother's life, Leonardo," his father said, patting him on the shell with a smile. "She tended to his wounds and cared for him until he was fully recovered and ready to come back."
Leo looked at the woman in front of him in a completely new light. She had saved Mikey. She had taken him into her own home and she had nursed him. She accepted him for he was. Who was this woman? Leo never met someone who could do something like that so easily. Most humans were terrified or repulsed by them, and there certainly weren't many of them willing to welcome mutants into their own lives with open arms.
He took her hand and squeezed it, gazing fiercely into her breathtaking eyes. "There aren't enough words to thank you, Miss Sage," he started gratefully, "we'll be forever in your debt."
"Oh my...!" She blushed, taken aback by his intensity. "Mikey was right; you really are a gentleman!"
His brothers and his father laughed at their exchange, causing Leo's cheeks to flush again. Sage's hand was soft in his. He wanted to keep holding it because something about her touch seemed to sooth the painful scars of his soul. She had a wonderful smile too, warm and inviting… It made his belly twist delightfully.
A loud growl rumbled through the lair, startling them. As Leo snapped his head towards the entrance, he felt all color drain from his face.
"Get away from her!" Raphael snarled as his entire body trembled with a barely contained anger.
"Raph-"
"I said get away! Right now!"
The seething turtle stomped to them and ripped Sage from his holding hand, pulling her behind him defensively. He pierced Leonardo with dark eyes burning with hurt and rage.
"If you evah touch Sage again, I'll rip off yer hands," he hissed dangerously. Sage rolled her eyes at the ridiculous display of masculinity.
"Let's all kick down a notch, shall we?" she joked, trying to alleviate the tension. Placing a soothing hand on his left side, she drew Raph's attention to her, "calm down, alright? Your brother was just thanking me for saving Mikey."
"He ain't gotta touch you fer dat!" he spat distastefully, still shaking.
"Raphael..." she called him, her hand sliding higher to nestle in the tender skin between his plastron and his carapace. Raphael's eyes quivered, softening faintly, dropping most of their anger. "Just breathe..."
After he sucked in a large gulf of air through his nostrils, Sage smiled. "That's better, right?"
"Whatever." He clicked his tongue in annoyance, turning his head away from her, but she could see the sides of his lips wanting to curl.
The younger turtles sniggered at their hot-headed brother's submission and Leo watched in shock. Since when did Raph step down from a rage attack that easily?
"Are ya gonna stay?" Raph asked sourly.
Leo frowned but he knew he deserved such bitterness. He nodded curtly. "Yeah... of course, Raph..."
"What makes ya t'ink we're gonna just let ya stay after everythin'?"
"That's enough, Raphael." Master Splinter flashed his son a look that clearly meant "stop". "Your brother has apologized and we do not hold grudges against our own blood. This is still Leonardo's home."
"Ov course," he sneered, "all hail the return ov de prodigal son! Let us bow down t' our pathetic excuse ova leader. It ain't like he deserted us anyway-"
"RAPHAEL!" his father howled, but Raphael ignored him and stormed off into the dojo where he locked himself inside. Splinter heaved a long tiresome sigh as he sat down on an armchair, pinching the bridge of his snout. Sage crouched down beside him and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.
"Do you want me to talk to him?" she offered.
"No, my dear, that's alright," he said, shaking his head softly. "I think he simply needs time to process everything. Let us allow him to deal with his anger at his own pace..."
Later that night, Sage laid awake in bed. She had been staring at the celling for at least an hour but she couldn't sleep.
She was worried about Raphael. He hadn't even come out from the dojo for dinner, and he was always starving. They could hear him grunting and growling inside that room as he vented out his anger on the practice dummies. Only when everyone had retired for the night, did Sage hear the door slide open and his heavy footsteps padding their way into the bathroom, quickly followed by the sound of the water running.
Brothers were not supposed to fight like that, no matter how wrong Leonardo had done, but Sage understood why Raphael was so mad. Even though he had everyone convinced it was because of the nasty fight that made Leo flee with shame, the real truth was he was deeply hurt because his brother couldn't find it in his heart to believe in him to forgive him. Leo thought Raph wouldn't be able to help him deal with his inner demons and he would hate him. He had simply assumed his brothers wouldn't want to be around him anymore and that's what angered Raphael so much.
Sage empathized with him on a certain level, since she was going through a similar situation with Rowan, but she still didn't think brothers should fight like that. It was just like Splinter said: people weren't meant to hold grudges against their own blood.
The shower turned off and she heard him grumbling to himself while getting ready to sleep. She sighed.
Well, she thought, might as well go check on him. It wasn't like she was going to fall asleep anyway. So Sage tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs, her eyes falling over Raphael's dark silhouette sprawled on the couch. He was laying on his back and he hadn't even bothered with the covers. He had an arm over his eyes and his jaw was so tense she could see the protruding vein on his neck. He sighed tiredly.
"What're ya doin' outta bed, Sage?" Raph asked without even so much as a look at her before she even had the chance to make her presence noted. Of course he would know she was there. She scowled.
Bloody ninjas.
"I'm worried about you," she answered honestly.
"Ya ain't got nothin' t' worry about, just go back t' sleep."
She stepped closer to the couch. "I wasn't asleep anyway..."
"If ya keep havin' trouble sleepin' I'm gonna ask Donnie t' start givin' ya meds," he grunted threateningly but she knew the threat was empty.
"No you won't," she chuckled. "Come on, talk to me. You'll feel better afterwards, I guarantee it."
Raph shifted onto his side, turning his back to her. "Don't wanna talk 'bout it. Quit bein' stubborn and go back t' bed," he said in a huff.
Sage rolled her eyes. He was a twenty-seven year old turtle with the size of a professional wrestler and he was sulking like a little kid. How typical. It seemed males were also pretty much the same in every species. Well lucky for him, Sage knew exactly how to pull him out of his tantrum.
Walking until she was right next to the couch, she leaned down, hovering above him. "In that case, come to bed with me," she purred in a low whisper.
He jolted up so fast, he ended up hitting her in the chin. Sage whimpered, losing her balance with the abrupt impact and toppling back. As he tried to stop her fall, he went down with her.
"Fuck, Sage! I'm so sorry! You okay?!" Raph panicked, grabbing her face to inspect the damage. He blinked perplexed when he realized she was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. "Oh shit, did ya bump yer head too hard?"
Sage laughed harder, bringing a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter. Any louder and she would've woken up the entire lair. After calming down, she peered up at him with eyes dancing with mirth.
"I guess it served me right!" She giggled.
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Sheesh, yer terrible, Sage."
"At least I made you smile!"
"Yeah, dat ya did..." His dark eyes softened as he brushed a few curls from her face, cupping her cheek. "Y'know... you really shouldn't joke 'bout stuff like dat..."
"Who said I was joking?" Sage grabbed the ends of his crimson mask dangling from each side of his head. She twirled the fabric in her hands, tugging him down closer to her face wishing she could get lost in his burning stare. "Would you like to come to bed with me, Raphael?"
Sage felt his breath hitch and the hand on her cheek moved lower into the crook of her neck. His cool fingers sent shivers down her spine. When Raphael pressed his body against hers, she swallowed a moan. She could feel every hard muscle, every sharp edge molding to her. He was shaking as his plastron brushed against the thin fabric of her pajama top.
"You're shaking..." she whispered, slightly out of breath. His cheeks were rouge, she noticed.
"I-I dunno what t' do..." He told her just as breathily.
"You don't have to anything..." She frowned.
Raphael's other hand slithered down her waist finding its way to her lower back, pressing her harder against him. She gasped, arcing her back, her knees on each side of his shell quivering.
"I want to," he growled huskily.
He started leaning in to her, his dark sultry eyes never leaving hers. Sage whimpered softly. She wanted him... she wanted all of him with a primal and almost desperate need. It had been too long since she felt the warmth of a man. She couldn't remember the last time she even felt it, and she longed to be touched by him, this Raphael who captivated her so much.
Sage fluttered her eyes closed in anticipation, but he moved to her neck, hovering his lips mere inches away from her skin. Her heart was thumping furiously in her chest and she was briefly worried she might pass out from the lack of oxygen. His teeth gazed the spot where her shoulder connected to the neck and she threw her head back, moaning.
Then the light in one of the lower level rooms turned on and they heard footsteps. Raphael pulled away from her in a rush just as Leo stepped into the living room. The blue masked turtle blinked, staring at the woman still laying on the floor and then at his brother kneeling in the middle of her legs, whose face was a few shades darker than normal. He scowled, feeling slightly unnerved by the sight.
"I apologize if I interrupted something," Leo started coldly, "I'm just going to get a glass of water."
Before Raph could tell him exactly where he could shove his glass of water, Sage sat up and placed a hand over his chest, stopping him. She turned to Leo with a small smile.
"Don't worry, Leo, you didn't interrupt anything," she said politely. Leo nodded curtly and resumed his way to the kitchen, still mildly glaring at his brother.
Sage shook her head at the two, looking back at the turtle who made her heart race, pleading, "will you sleep with me tonight? I don't want to be alone, please..."
Raph nodded stiffly. He allowed her to help him to his feet and let her pull him to his bedroom silently. After she settled under the covers, he joined her. His arm went around her waist. He slid closer to her, nestling her small back against his plastron, nuzzling her curls.
Sage sighed with content and closed her eyes, slipping into the first peaceful sleep she had since her attack while listening the sound of his shallow breathing.
