A/N so I updated yesterday and I'm updating today I don't know what's happening I got inspired today and was just like yeah smash it out update yeah! So that's what I'm doing this is really weird I know but kinda going to rant out here so basically there is someone who reads this fan fiction and is reading his right now I promised to shout out to you on this chapter so hey you! Also shout out to an amazing twitter friend of mine she makes me blush everyday and says the nicest things ever so yeah thank you for being in my life you are seriously too good to be true. Anyway without further ado here is the next chapter enjoy!
WARNING SELF HARM DEPRESSION MENTION
Previously...
"We just played stupid games and omg I think Rachel kinda likes Quinn cause when we were talking about people we've slept with she like almost slapped me when I said Quinn."
"Wait you slept with Quinn and didn't tell me!?
Now...
Without realising it I literally just dropped an apparent bombshell from the look on Dani's face. I honestly thought we had discussed this, I mean we've been together for almost three months and I was certain it had come up sometime among the Brittany exes discussion but obviously not. I didn't know what to do, the look on Dani's face had turned from shock and horror to un-readable, I could usually always tell exactly what she was thinking with one look at her face but now it was a clean slate impossible for me to read or gain even a hint of any possible emotion or feeling she had. I continue sitting there, just staring at Dani, not knowing whether she expects me to say something or whether it's going to be better for our relationship for me to just sit there as she absorbs what she's just heard. I'm shaken from my thoughts as Dani's chair scrapes back.
"I'm going to need a minute San" she says as she gets up and heads towards our bedroom. I can't help but shake my head at myself she made dinner for us and I guarantee that when she planned out tonight the night didn't end with her in the bedroom alone experiencing anything but pleasure.
I figure that if I was in a similar situation I'd want to be left alone at least for a little while so I begin to clean everything up washing up everything and boxing up all the leftovers before placing them in the fridge for a later time. Confused as to what to do now I go lie down on the couch and call Rachel figuring she'll be able to offer some advice.
POV Change Dani
My head has been a rush of thoughts ever since Santana told me she'd slept with Quinn I honestly didn't know what the problem was but I was starting to figure out that it was my demons coming back into play. Santana didn't know it I mean we'd been dating for three months, loved each other and lived together but my demons were calm when Santana was around and it wasn't like I was just going to bring up one day how I remember sitting in the darkness of my bedroom holding my side after using a razor but feeling no regret just like relief at the voices calming down. I hadn't cut or felt depressed since I'd met Santana and until now I hadn't worried about the fact that my demons were calmed down by Santana someone who is had no control over. The reason my demons were flaring up was because is seen pictures of Quinn and Brittany and they were anything but me. Blonde, thin, athletic whilst I was well me with my constantly changing dyed hair and multiple tattoos. What was I in comparison to those girls and Santana she was incredible and fitted in perfectly with them whilst I was the girl who had no friends, had mood swings all the time and was only truly happy when listening to music. I thought I knew who I was until now when I realise who I am up against and am being compared to and once again just like high school I'm lost I feel like I'm going go back to saying stupid things and acting more stupid then I am and being so crazy and hyper one minute whilst literally writing short verses about cutting the next.
I figure I at least need to hear what Santana has to say before I let the voices take over so I open the bedroom door to hear Santana talking to someone on the phone. I can't help but listen in, I hear her murmur that she doesn't know what to do before she listens for the persons response and suddenly I hear her get up and I know something serious has happened.
"You don't understand though I can't just be like oh she was a two time fling even though that's exactly what she was, even less if it was possible because this is Dani. Dani the girl I love so much and I envision everything with no just tomorrow or the next day but the future all the way along. She keeps me sane and happy and I can't lose her, you saw me how I was after Britt and I broke up but that was my first love whilst D is my soul mate, our love is eternal and now I've gone and stuffed it up." Santana finishes and I can't help but step in, hearing her voice crack at the end knowing that she's really upset.
"Santana you haven't stuffed up at all my head is confused but I know I love you and you are it for me and if it was just a two time fling or less it don't matter to me because there's something that matters more to me then the air I breathe and that's you baby and I can't give you up no matter what."
Santana stares at me for a minute before just hanging up the phone and kissing me deeply and I feel the love through the kiss.
"I think we just had our first fight D and look here we are no moving out or anything. I love you so much and I am so so sorry for not telling you about Quinn because well she doesn't matter there was no spark no love literally nothing between us baby and I can't stress enough how little it meant like baby when I saw you across the diner I felt something I never felt with Quinn and never will. Thank you for not giving up on us babe."
"You are the only exception Santana and as long as you'll let me I will never give up on us, I promise on our love. Now were you on the phone to Rachel because if so should we head over to the loft to let her know the good news that we've got back together?"
Santana pecks my lips whispering I loves you in between each one before just smiling at me and reaching for my hand.
POV Change Santana
We arrive at the loft to feel it empty but we just go in anyway it's not like I didn't live there like two weeks ago or anything so I just throw myself down on the couch pulling Dani down to lay on top of me. We lie there in silence a starch contrast to the shouting of earlier and I lie there listening to our heartbeats which I feel are synchronised however I could just be hallucinating and overthinking the entire thing which is more then likely I'm awaken from my heart beat counting as Dani starts to talk.
"Hey San what do you think of cruises?"
"Well I mean there nice I suppose I mean the company your with is the main thing since your like stuck on a boat with whoever you go with so I mean I'm not against them or anything I guess..."
"Well I was thinking that we should go on a cruise together I saw one leaving from New York in like four months are there was a special romance suite available if your interest babe?"
"Oh I am more than interested spending time with you and only you not wonder twin interruptions or work and we can just go around wearing bikinis and just hang out together, my only question is if you are willing to bet on us for that long?"
"Santana in all seriousness and I'm not just saying this so you go on a cruise with me and rock my world multiple times every day but I love you so much and when I look into the future it's simply made up of you and only you. The future is no longer mine is ours and I want to embrace that love."
I can't help but break out into a huge smile and just whisper I love you back before connecting our lips for a sweet kiss but it quickly turns into more as I feel the need of Dani and just embrace it all.
I let out a deep moan and Dani's tongue battles against mine and I pull her closer until we are literally just one body meshed together. I'm so caught up in the gorgeous sexy body of my girlfriend to realise we have company as suddenly the loft door is open and I hear a shriek pulling apart to see Rachel, Kurt and Brittany holding hands with a random dude and my first thought is WTF!
There it is another cliff-hanger maybe I don't even know anyway thanks for reading and please follow fave and review it makes my day! Talk to you guys soon xx
