Sorry but I am going to have to go and be sad. I haven't done it in a while and this one is just nagging me and nagging and nagging. This is why you don't show what you write to your best friend. Ya'll can think her. She would not leave me alone until I had posted this.

Disclaimer: if I owned Sailor Moon, I would not have waited this long to get the new anime out. Which is previewing this year.

I couldn't bring myself to cry no matter how much it hurt. I can't loss what I didn't have now can I? A dry chuckle escaped my throat and it caused you to look back. I could barely keep the mask up, but I had an image to up hold. I made sure my face was expressionless when I met your blue eyes. If I looked hard enough I could pretend hard enough that the same pain I was feeling was in your eyes. I had a feeling that it was in mine. You once said that my eyes betrayed my emotions. I scoffed and said I didn't know what you were talking about. A laugh had escaped your lips as you called B.S. A tear finally chose to make its appearance. The wall was broken and the flood was called on. Sobs wrecked by body I couldn't control it anymore. The pain was on the surface but you thought it was misplaced. Warm arms warped around my torso and I found myself leaning into your embrace.

"I know. I know." The words were simple. You say that. But do you really know? DO you know that I cry every time you walk away? Do you know that for every touch and every look you send my way makes me weak? Do you know that every second that I am near you I find my resolve slipping away faster and faster each day? Do you know that I can no longer imagine my life without you in it? Every time I try a pain enters my chest and I am forced to my knees. It hurts. Do you know that? Do you Minako?

"Do you really know?" The question came out before I could stop it. You looked confused and again I couldn't stop.

"Do you really know how I am feeling? You've known me for years Minako, but what do you really see when you see me?"

"What do you mean? Like looks wise or personality?"

A sigh escaped my mouth. Leave it to Minako to make this difficult. "Anything but looks."

"That means personality. Doesn't that mean when I think about you?"

"Just answer the question!" Even in this state you managed to make me irritated.

"While… I know you're a good friend and I can go to you with anything. I can trust you."

One word from that floated around in my head. Friend. That's all I'll ever be to you. I made sure that my face was emotionless this time; all evidence of my break-down disappeared from my face. I pushed myself away.

"Thank you. Good-Bye, Minako."

" Awww, Don't be grumpy Reiko. You know I'll be back soon. It's only a 2-year tour."

I sputtered .You hadn't told me how long the tour would be. I thought it was only a month or two. I quickly got my face under control.

" I will see in 2 years." I tried to hide the venom in my voice. A smile was sent my way and you walked out the door. Out of my life.

10 Months Later (14 more Months until Minako returned) …

My life was incomplete. When with my other friends I would find myself slipping into the memories of you. No matter what I did your ghost followed me. Usagi was saying something to me, but all I could think how her eyes weren't the right color. Soon I found myself doing what I dreaded. I was pulled into a memory of you…

The wind was blowing gently missing up your hair but even in this state I couldn't help but admire you. You looked at peace like you belonged at the ocean. You were watching the waves pull back and forth, an endless game of tag. You let out a small giggle at a young child laughing as she played in the water. I watched this peaceful scene with a smile on my face. We weren't talking but the silence was comfortable. A sigh escaped my lips and you looked at me.

"What's wrong Rei?" I didn't answer and you started to poke my shoulder. I knew you wouldn't let this go so I gave in.

"Do you know what it's like to love someone and know that they could never love you back?" You gave me a strange look and went back to staring at the sea. I assumed you wouldn't answer so I too resumed my watch over the sea.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes I do know what it's like to love someone who can never love you back. It's even worse when that person says they love and then they go and get with your best friend. So yes I do know what it's like."

I didn't say anything but true to your nature you began to pester me.

"So who do you like?"

"…"

"Is it Kane?"

"…"

"Is it Mamoru?"

I sent a look in her direction that made her wince.

"O.k. soo it's not Mamo-kun. Who is it?"

"Someone you know well."

"Do they hang out with us often?"

I let a small smile form on my lips. Actually you're with them all the time. I didn't say that part out loud but gave a nod in answer to your question. You continued to try and guess who it was but I ignored you. I soon felt a warmth on my side and looked down to see you snuggled into me and looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Don't you trust me Rei-chan?" I refused to fall into that trap.

"I trust you, Minako. I promise you I 'll tell you in due time."

"You're so MEAN!" I chuckled at the childish outburst. You smiled at me and we both looked at the sea. I left my palm on the back of your hand and you flipped your hand up and entwined our fingers together. God was cruel.

"…. Should be back for a small concert in about 2 months. Isn't that great Rei-chan?" I was jerked out of my memory by Usagi.

"ummm… yes?" I tried and failed horribly at trying to sound like I had been listening.

"You didn't hear a word I said did you?"

"That's not true I paid absolute attention to you this whole time!" I said.

" oh yeah?"

"YES."

"Then who was I talking about?"

"umm… Santa Clause?" she looked at me like I was crazy and I just shrugged.

We were walking home. Usagi was clinging to my side whining about being sacred of the dark. We reached her house and she finally removed herself from my side.

"Thanks for walking me home, Rei-chan."

I smiled at her but remained silent. I knew what she would do next. Her arms slipped around my neck and she pulled me close. I forced myself to kiss her back. With my eyes closed it wasn't hard to imagine it being you instead. Usagi released me and smile then walked into her house.

##

"I don't know why I do this to myself. How did you deal with it?"

Red eyes looked at me thoughtfully, "Ara.. How did I deal with what?"

"You know the pain, the longing, the love you couldn't share. How were you able to stay sane?!"

Shizuru tapped her chin, "I didn't stay sane. I mean sure Natsuki was hard-headed and too dense to realize she had captured my affections. I begin to use any excuse to touch her and tease her. Natsuki being herself only though that it was me being my regular self."

"What can I do though? Can you give me advice?" it was the only time I begged for something. I realized after I dropped Usagi off that I needed help. Haruka and Michiru were my first choice but they were on vacation. I turned to Shizuru next. She had told me of what her and Natsuki's past was like. If anyone could help me it was her.

"You love her don't you?"

"Of course!"

"How long have you all been friends?"

"Bout 10 years."

"How is your relationship? I mean does she trust you?"

"I should hope so. I mean she tells me everything."

"I think you should tell her." The ruby eyes were steady as she said this, "I don't what you to end up like I did. I don't what Minako to found out about you like Natsuki did with me."

I winced, she told me what she had done to Natsuki. Now they are a happy couple going on 5 years, but when it first started Shizuru went crazy, literally. Natsuki had flinched away from Shizuru in horror. She couldn't believe her best friend had done something like that to her while she slept. The end result was Shizuru almost killing herself. I really didn't want that to be me and Minako.

"I don't know. I'm afraid that I might ruin our friendship with this confession. I don't think I could handle the look of disgust on her face"… I don't want to end up like you.

Shizuru looked at me hard with those red eyes. I knew what she was saying but I couldn't bring myself to accept that no matter what I said I would have to tell Minako. The tears fell from my eyes as I through myself on Shizuru. She didn't say anything she just held me. I let lose all the tears. I had cried 3 times in my life, 2 of those times were because if you.

##

3 months later… (11 months until Minako Returned)

"You know what?"

I turned to look at a guy that came up to me at the beach and responded, "No, I don't know."

He seemed startled that I didn't answer like normal girls did, but that unfortunately did not discourage him, "You're like a rubix cube, the more I play with you the harder I get."

That had to be the lamest pick up line I had ever heard.

"How can you know that I'm hard to play with if you've never played with me before?"

"Well maybe I can get a chance to play with you… how about tonight?" His eyes were arrogant. I think had he expected me to fall on my face for his amazing offer.

"No."

"Why not? I promise I'll be gentle if it's your first time."

"No." I was bored out of my mind and I made sure I had the look on my face saying it.

"Give me one good reason why."

"I don't roll that way. So I suggest you move on before my girlfriend gets mad."

Surprise lit his eyes then a devilish look, "How bout you both come over and we can have even more fun."

"HEY! Didn't you hear her? She doesn't want to come, not that you could make her anyway." Makoto jogged over to where I was sitting and getting harassed. I let out a sigh of relief, Makoto wasn't my girlfriend (not that I had one…) but her height scared grown men so I knew that once she came over to me that I would be save. AS usual as soon as the guy saw her height he scampered away, like a dog with his tail between his legs. Makoto joined me on my towel with a sigh.

"How long are you going to be like this Rei? Everyone's worried about you. Even Usagi." I winced I had broken up with Usagi after I had talked to Shizuru. I couldn't think that she of all people would worry about me. Mako must had sensed my disbelief because was quick to reassure me, "Even though you broke up with her she still cares about you. A lot. She loves you. "

I shook my head, "She loves an image of me. Not the real me." Only Minako would ever love the real me, but I loved her more than a friend. She won't love you if she ever finds out about your little secret.

"Rei, you need to let people in. it isn't good to keep all the pain inside you. Plus it's a turn on for chicks. Did you know that Ami likes you now?" Sadness crept into Makoto's, I looked over at my tall friend. I could say nothing to comfort her. The waves were rolling and on the outside everything looked peaceful. On the outside.

10 Months Later ( 1 month until Minako's return.)

You were almost here. I could feel it. My mind was made. I would tell you. My friends would stand beside me and no matter what happen I would continue the friendship.

The fire flickered in front of me, reds and oranges danced together in perfect harmony. It filled me, lulled me to peace. I felt pure, happy, and loved. It reminded me of you in so many ways. It was beautiful but dangerous. It could not be tamed. Nothing could stop it from reaching what it wanted to, unless it was water. I hoped to be the water. I wanted to make you dance, I wanted you to always be on your feet. I wanted everything to be like an adventure to you. I wanted everything.

"REI!" Your voice was always in my head so that time didn't do anything different. I could feel your arms wrap around me, your breath was on my neck and I sighed in content.

"I love you." It was whispered, but something happened that was new.

"Who do you love, Rei? I should hope you haven't fallen in love without me approving of them."

I turned around quickly, your eyes shone with amusement at my predicament. You were here. You were here. The words echoed in my mind and no matter what they wouldn't leave even after you gave me a confused glance.

" Rei are you Ok? You look like you've seen a ghost." I throw my arms around your neck. You were here. I just held you; I would have forever if I hadn't heard a polite cough interrupt us.

I turned to see someone watching us. His face was slightly embarrassed; a pink color tinged his cheeks.

"I hate to interrupt but I have heard so much about you that I am very excited to meet you. I am Yaten." He held out a hand and I shook it. "I'm Mina's boyfriend." Boyfriend. My heart shattered and my world turned black.

When I came to, I was surrounded by all of my friends, but you were holding my hand. I have never seen such a look of worry on your face before. It looked as though your everything you had had been taken and there was only a little hope left. The moment I met your eyes everything else disappeared. The world melted into blurred colors, voices faded to background noises, and for the first time in almost 2 years I smiled a real smile.

"Minako." It was whispered but I know you heard me. You flashed your teeth as tears flowed from your eyes. The next thing I know I couldn't breathe. Your arms were wrapped around my neck in a grip that would put a wrestler to shame. Makoto jumped up to pry them away from me. It took a while and by the time she got them off I was pretty sure I was blue.

"HINO REI! I SEARW TO GOD IF YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN IT WILL BE THE VERY LAST THING YOU EVER DO! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD!?" your scream echoed in my ears even after you finished your threat, " What happened?"

"You passed out after you shook my hand. We called everyone else to see if they knew what was going on with you." Yaten was the one to speak. As much as I wanted to I couldn't hate him. There was something about him that made it impossible. I could tell he loved you. It was in his eyes. I smiled at him. "Thank you."

1 year later

You are getting married tomorrow. You asked me to be your Maid Of Honor. I couldn't refuse. I made a promise to myself that day you came home that no matter what I would keep you happy. They then engaged in coitus. Eyes are a mirror to the soul and you once said my eyes betrayed my emotions. I guess you were wrong. If my eyes betrayed my emotions then how come you can't see my true feelings? But your eyes don't have to be open to know that you are in love. That is way you will never read this. I have kept this for two years recording my thoughts on everything related to you. I will not cause you to be unhappy. No matter if it causes me to die on the inside. That is how I feel and I that is how I will continue to feel.

Yours forever,

Rei

Minako stared. For once in her life, Aino Minako was speechless. The sky was dark and the heavens were weeping. It was raining inside too. The paper was becoming unreadable, wet with the tears of a lost love. Rei… why did you have to leave me? I'm sorry.

"Mommy?" A young voice broke through Minako's grieving. She turned and saw her daughter. A mini-version of herself. Big blue eyes looked up with worry at Minako.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" the voice was shrill but endearing. Minako reached down and pick up her little one. "I was remembering a friend."

"Was it Aunt Rei. I miss her too, Mommy."

"I do to, Reiko." Minako looked at the window and in the direction of the shrine. Whispering so her daughter couldn't hear her she said, "I love you too, Rei."

Amare: So Rei died and Minako had a baby. I think that was a good story.

Rei:….I died.

Amare: Yes.

Rei: Minako Had a baby.

Amare: (getting scared) yes…

Rei: What kind of casket do you want?