Star Trek: Pioneer

Star Trek: Pioneer

Starring Tenchi Masaki as Captain James Jean-Luc Tenchi

Washu Hakubi as Science Officer Washu

Ryoko Hakubi as the Space Pirate Ryoko

Ayeka Masaki Jurai as Lt. Commander Lydia Ayeka

Sasami Masaki Jurai as Midshipman Sherry Lynn Sasami

Mihoshi Kuramitsu as Lt. Barbie Mihoshi

Kiyone Makibi as Tactical Officer Cassandra Kiyone

Katsuhito Masaki as Doctor KatsuhitoYosho

Ryo-oh-ki as Ensign Whiskers

Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer. Star Trek and all related material are © Paramount Studios. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of AIC/Pioneer, CBS/Paramount Studios, the author, the readers, or this website.

Based on "Star Trek" created by Gene Roddenberry

And "Tenchi Muyo" created by Masaki Kajishima

Dagger of the Brain

By Galaxy1001D

Chapter Nine: Guinea Pig

Cake crumbs flaking from his uniform, the android that assumed Tenchi's form exited the elevator and staggered down the corridor to the captain's personal quarters on deck five. How could the crew have thought that today was Tenchi's birthday? Thinking about it, the robot decided that the mistake was an easy one, since not everybody on board was used to the new Stardate system of timekeeping. 'Metric time', the captain had once called it. Now that a single number replaced months and years, it would be easy for fallible organic beings to get the days mixed up.

The door to Tenchi's room opened to as Zero stumbled inside. He should get four or five hours of downtime to reboot and run a level one self-diagnostic before something demanded the captain's attention. He had to admire the resilience of a weak and fallible being like Captain Tenchi to endure being in charge of this crazy ship…

"Long day?" a woman's deep voice interrupted the fake captain's thoughts. Zero let his mouth drop open as he spied a pair of short, slender, and naked legs appear out of the darkness to lounge on 'his' bed.

"Lights!" The word was out of the android's mouth before he could stop it.

Lounging comfortably on Tenchi's bed was Lieutenant Washu, the chief science officer. The diminutive redhead was wearing one of James Tenchi's civilian shirts, a white poofy number that would be appropriate to Errol Flynn or a swashbuckler from a sappy romance rather than a stodgy underage starship captain. It was fortunate that Tenchi's shirt covered a lot of the short scientist, since she didn't seem to be wearing anything else.

Worse yet was her body language. Despite her relaxed and languid manner, Washu posed as if auditioning to be the cover girl of a swimsuit magazine. One leg was straight and the other bent at the knee, in order to give the captain the best view of her lower extremities as possible. Despite science officer's undeveloped and juvenile appearance, her legs were quite shapely, and Zero suspected that she was flexing them while somehow making them appear totally relaxed. In her hands was a book, an old style book with a cover and pages like the kind they stopped making decades ago. She was sucking on the arm of a pair of reading glasses and looking at him with a combination of sultry desire and ingenious innocence. Although James Tenchi wasn't physically attracted to underage girls, Washu's posture was more than enough to kick-start the boy's reproductive drive.

Despite the fact that its cognitive functions were impaired, Zero was able to postulate a number of questions. What was Washu doing in Tenchi's room? Did she suspect he wasn't Tenchi? Why was she out of uniform and looking at him that way? And how was she able to read a book while waiting for him with the lights out?

With electronic speed, Zero was able to access the downloaded copy of Tenchi's wit. "You're in the wrong quarters, Lieutenant." He allowed himself a smile. His had sounded deep and masculine and not high-pitched and whiny like he expected.

"There's a plasma leak near my quarters," Washu teased, while winking and exposing a slender shoulder, "So I asked the computer if I could stay with you a few days. It was ever so obliging."

Accessing the plans of the Pioneer revealed that there were no major EPS conduits near Washu's quarters, but Zero didn't expect Washu's response to be truthful anyway. "Couldn't you stay with Ayeka?" he sighed as he sat down in a chair. Conflicting memories competed for use of his hard drive. On one side were Doctor Clay's instructions. "Zero! You are to capture Washu and turn her over to the Klingons! Ha-ha-ha!" On the other side were Tenchi's downloaded memories of the last time Washu had tried something like this. "Tenchi! Please? Won't you be my little guinea pig? You promised me you would!"

The one thing that Zero didn't seem to be accessing was how Tenchi got himself out of this situation that last time he had found Washu in his quarters. He wouldn't call security, wouldn't put her on report, wouldn't give in to her desires and wouldn't order her out either. What did that leave? Retreat? Ridiculous! These were Tenchi's quarters! A good captain never surrenders his ship or any part of it. Think! Think!

Washu giggled like the girl she appeared to be. "Ayeka's got too much stuff in her quarters, your cabin is much more Spartan. That leaves plenty of room for little ol' me!" Washu made an exaggerated gesture of looking around the room. "Problem is, I don't see another bed in here, so we're going to have to share!" The redhead erupted in mischievous laughter, and Zero wondered how much the little genius had to drink during his birthday party.

It was a scientific fact that those with less body weight were more susceptible to the same amount of alcohol than those with greater mass. Even though Washu was a full-grown adult on her planet, her body could only handle liquor like a child from Tenchi's planet.

"C'mon Tenchi," Washu sat up to draw her legs underneath her and kneel on Tenchi's bed. "You need to relax. It's hard being captain, and I'll bet you miss Ryoko," she teased. "Little Washu will help you forget all about her. Yes I will! Yes I will!"

Yep. Washu had drunk way too much. Any inhibitions that she had seemed to be jettisoned out the airlock. Worse yet, Zero's inhibitions were fading fast. His borrowed face became scarlet. He was not about to be seduced by his target! For crying out loud, Zero was a cold and logical machine and Doctor Clay had ordered him, no ordered it, to capture Washu and hand her over to the Klingons, and here Tenchi's personality had allowed him to be…

"Hey!" Zero glanced down in alarm. "What are you doing? Why are you taking off my belt?"

Washu was off his bed and undoing his black Starfleet regulation trousers. "You've got birthday cake all over yourself! Time to take off that dirty uniform and take a shower. Tell you what, I'll wash your back for you, sweetie!" Washu's perverted laugh reminded Zero of the time Washu had strapped Tenchi down and put on a 20th century Earth nurse's uniform.

"What!" Zero nearly jumped out of Tenchi's skin, but succeeded only in jumping out of Tenchi's pants. "Are you crazy? This is insubordination! Agh!" His boots catching on the black trousers that Washu was clinging too. Arms flailing, the android tumbled to the floor.

He used Tenchi's stolen reflexes to kick out of his boots and pants to insure his mobility, but Washu's lithe and tiny body was on top of him before he knew it.

"Tenchi!" Washu pleaded in a teasing voice. "Are you hurt? Maybe nurse Washu needs to kiss it and make it better…"

"Get off!" Zero ordered.

"Maybe after you do!" Washu teased. "After all, we're going to have to wait a while afterwards, but then we can do it all over again…"

"Yee-augh!" Despite the failsafes designed to prevent Zero from accessing any superhuman abilities while imitating someone else, the android managed to pry Washu off and throw her through the air. The ripping sound told him that the front half of his gold shirt was torn off and went sailing away with Washu as well.

The short scientist did an acrobatic flip and managed to land on her feet without injury, reminding Zero that Washu was an alien with an advanced nervous system compared to the Terran human and that even a sedentary scientist from her planet could perform Olympic feats of agility.

Washu's emerald green eyes lit up as she caressed the tatters of Tenchi's gold shirt. "Wow! You just can't wait for the rough stuff can you?"

"Wha?" Zero glanced down at himself to see that despite the gold sleeves on his arms, Tenchi's naked chest was exposed and that only underpants and a pair of socks covered his lower extremities.

"I'm with you, big boy!" Washu cried while jumping through the air at him. "Let's do it on the floor right now!"

"Yaah!" Zero rolled to his feet and headed to the door. Now that he thought about it, Captain Tenchi had executed tactical retreats when confronted with love-hungry ladies once or twice. Surely it wouldn't blow his cover to run half naked out of his quarters while screaming like a schoolgirl.

The robot's progress towards the door was impeded just as the door slid open. Washu had gotten a hold of his cotton underpants and was pulling on them with all of her might. Outside the door was Midshipman Sasami, her bubblegum pink eyes blinking in surprise.

"Oh!" Sasami exhaled and then held out a clipboard and a pen out to the struggling shapeshifter. "Captain Tenchi. Ensign Haruna wants to know if it's okay to run a level one diagnostic on the transporter system as long as we're going to be at warp for a few days. You know they've been acting up lately…"

Zero was unable to take the clipboard and pen because his hands were clinging onto the doorframe. Tears were forming in his eyes due to the pressure he was receiving from his underpants. His nose was bleeding due to the proximity of a girl who wasn't wearing pants attempting to remove his by force. Washu was tugging so hard that he couldn't get any closer to Sasami, even he wanted to.

"Sure," the 'droid grunted with stress, passion, and pain, "Tell her…hurg! To get on it…ehh! At her earliest convenience!"

"Okay," Sasami nodded, seemingly oblivious to Zero's struggles and Washu's perverted giggles. "Now if you could just initial here…"

Zero overrode his disguise protocols to give him the strength to hang on with just one arm. His other hand grasped the pen and he scratched unreadable letters onto paper on the clipboard Sasami was holding out.

"and here…" Sasami fold a corner of paper back to reveal another form. Zero initialed it. "and here…" The blue-haired cadet folded back a second corner. "and here." Zero initialed yet a fourth form while struggling with Washu for possession of his underpants. "Thank-Que!" chirped Sasami. "Have a nice time!" She waved and walked down the corridor.

Enough was enough. Zero had to get out of here. Given Tenchi's temperament, if he allowed himself to become physically intimate with Washu he would never be able to hand her over to the Klingons without deleting Tenchi's personality and blowing his cover. Using the full strength of his android body, Zero used both arms and thrust himself out the door, ignoring the ripping sound that accompanied many of Tenchi's first season fights.

Washu found herself lying on the floor with Tenchi's torn underpants in her hands. "Wow!" she blinked as she watched her captain retreat down the hall. "Where did he get that tattoo?" Picking herself off the ground she went back to the bed and picked up her book. Pulling a pen off a bedside table she made a check on a page that she used to keep score of her victories. "That's another for me. Hee-hee-hee-hee!"

The door chime rung on Ayeka's quarters. "Coming," she answered as she walked to the door. The door slid open to reveal a disheveled Tenchi wearing only his sleeves and the back of his shirt. His naked chest was breathing hard and his pants… He wasn't wearing pants! Or any underpants, for that matter!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" The scream was heard all over deck five, causing one officer to call security.

Next: Responsibility