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Chapter 9
Captain Janeway took a sip of her coffee, flipping through the reports on her desk and trying not to concentrate on the fact that Chakotay had been released to his quarters a few hours ago and she hadn't heard from him yet. The Doctor had suggested that he remain off duty for at least two days to let his eyes fully heal. Kathryn had willingly obliged, quickly making herself busy in her ready room. The door chimed and a part of her hoped that it was Chakotay, but she pushed the thought away.
"Come in," she called, not looking up.
Harry Kim entered with his hands behind his back and standing at attention. She gave him a small smile and he returned it.
"Is there something that I can help you with?" she asked, taking another sip of her coffee.
"I have that report on the star cluster that you asked for. And I wanted to check on you to see how you're feeling."
"I'm fine, Harry. Thank you," Kathryn replied, taking the report from him.
"How's Commander Chakotay?"
"The Doctor released him to his quarters this morning and he's on leave for the next two days, but he'll make a full recovery." Kathryn stood up and walked over to Harry's side, putting a hand on his shoulder. "There's no need to worry."
"Understood, Captain." He turned to leave, but stopped. "Oh, I almost forgot. Neelix is planning a party to celebrate your rescue and he would like you and Chakotay to attend. It's tomorrow evening if the Commander is up to it."
Kathryn grinned. "I'll ask him to see how he's feeling. And tell Neelix thank you if you see him."
Harry nodded and exited her ready room, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She sighed, sitting back down at her desk. There was absolutely no way that she could get back to work now since she was imagining Chakotay lying on the floor of the shuttle with part of his skin exposed. He was so handsome. Kathryn set the pad down.
"Janeway to Chakotay," she said, pressing her com badge.
There was no response and she didn't want to try again in case he had fallen asleep. Kathryn picked up her coffee and went to the bridge. Tuvok nodded at her, working diligently at his station. Tom was joking with Harry about canceling on him when it was their turn to play Captain Proton on the holodeck. She smiled, feeling a surge of pride for the people that they were. Harry never would have come out of his shell without Tom's friendship and without Harry Tom wouldn't have realized that he needed a best friend. They needed each other and always were there for each other when things got bad. It hit her in that moment. Her best friend needed her.
"Tuvok, you have the bridge," Kathryn declared, setting down her cup and heading into the turbo lift, ignoring the strange looks from those she left behind.
Kathryn walked slowly to Chakotay's quarters, not sure if she could do this. Hell, she faced the Borg and the Kazon and faced Neelix's leola root stew… she could visit him. After waiting for a minute with no answer at his door, the captain used her override code to open the door. It was dark inside his quarters with no light on and it smelled faintly of chocolate chip cookies. Looking around the room, Kathryn saw a still figure on the couch. Chakotay was partially covered with his blanket with one bare foot sticking out from the soft material. She gently pulled it over his toes and sat down beside him. Chakotay stirred at the movement, opening his heavy eyes.
"Kathryn?" he mumbled. "Is something wrong?"
"No, everything's fine," Kathryn choked as her eyes filled with tears.
Chakotay asked the computer to raise the lights slightly so he could see her. The sight of tears in her eyes was painful, but beautiful at the same time. He slowly sat up, adjusting himself so he was sitting close to her on the couch, praying silently that she wouldn't pull away from him. Kathryn looked down at her hands in her lap.
"I can't do this anymore," she muttered.
"Kathryn…" Chakotay whispered, putting his hand on her face and wiping away the tear that fell with the side of his thumb.
"It's too painful to pretend that we're only friends… I almost lost you. I would never forgive myself if you died."
"I know what you mean… the way we are living right now is too hard for anyone. We're alone out here in the Delta Quadrant and Kathryn, I need you. I don't care about the line that you've drawn for our relationship. That line needs to be broken before we ourselves break in too many pieces to count. Kathryn…" her name fell from his lips.
Not waiting for a sign from her, Chakotay pulled Kathryn into his arms and held her against his chest. She returned the embrace as her shoulders shook with pent emotions. For the first time, Kathryn wept freely on his shoulder with no fear of what could be. She was in the arms of the man that loved her. Chakotay kissed the top of her head, squeezing her tightly. They remained silent for a long time before Kathryn broke the quiet.
"How are you feeling?"
"My sight is a lot better and there's only residual pain in my side, so overall much better. Right now, I feel like I could take on the entire collective," he teased.
"I definitely couldn't take on the Borg today… I'm an emotional mess and would probably show weakness and cause the entire crew to be assimilated," Kathryn chuckled.
"That sounds like a bad morning."
"The only thing that could make that morning worse would be all the female crew members announcing that they were pregnant and the Doctor was the father."
Kathryn laughed, looking up at his face. Chakotay glanced down at her, quickly realizing how close her face was to his. He could feel her hot breath warming his lips. Her eyes lashes could have tickled his cheeks if they were any closer. Chakotay had never had such a desire to kiss her before and he didn't think he could stop himself from the closing the final distance between them. Kathryn's eyes closed as he moved in close to her, gently putting his lips on her. It was better than he could ever have dreamed. Her lips parted slightly as he kissed her, giving her just a glimpse of his love because it was all she could take right now. His tears mingled with hers as they broke the kiss.
"I will always be with you." Chakotay pulled back, giving her a little space.
"Did you see her face?" Tom asked, hovering over Harry's shoulder.
"Yes, what's your point?" Harry demanded. "I'm trying to get some work done and your twenty questions aren't helping me think."
Tom moved around to the front of the station, glancing in Tuvok's direction to make sure that he wasn't paying attention to their conversation. No doubt he could hear it with his superior Vulcan hearing, but he was being patient with them for the moment. Harry stopped pressing buttons for a second, giving Tom his full attention.
"You really think that she went to see him?" Harry whispered.
"The Captain left her mug on Tuvok's desk, half full of coffee still. And the look on her face was obvious; they've been dancing around each other for years because of protocol. I think something happened on that shuttle between the two of them."
"We have no right to speculate about the Captain's personal life…"
"Harry, Harry, Harry. You've seen the way that Chakotay looks at her. He's been in love with her for a long time. Maybe this pushed him to the edge and he'll just tell her the truth."
Tuvok realized that this conversation had gone on long enough. "Lieutenant, please return to your station and save the gossip for Mr. Neelix's ship news or for the mess hall."
Tom winked at Harry and motioned that they would continue this conversation later before returning to his post. Harry rolled his eyes before returning to his work, yet he was slightly distracted now. Could it be?
Thanks for reading! Please review! One more chapter!
Emma
