Chapter 9

The sun had risen and the morning was well underway. "Come one love, are you getting up today?"
Tilly rolled over onto her back, her mum was stood over her with a hand still on Tilly's shoulder from shaking her gently to wake the sleeping girl. "Did you honestly sleep in that, Tils? Don't answer, I don't wanna know. Anyway, Neil's waiting for you downstairs hun, something about revision with Callum before college?" and with that Tilly's bedroom door shut. Her mum had gone and she could hear muffled voices from downstairs in the lounge below her.
Tilly, still in a daze, sat up on her bed and flicked the quilt cover over to one side. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and rested her elbows on her knees while she rubbed her face in her hands.
Suddenly realising the events from a few hours ago, she searched her quilt for her phone. She grabbed for it and her face lit up as she saw a new text message. In the frantic moment, she entered her password wrong, spelling out 'Jwn' instead of 'Jen'. Finally getting it correct the message popped up on the screen. "Hey. On my way be there in 10". The message was from Neil who was already at the house. "Shit" said Tilly out loud, she had overslept. She still took a moment to check her phone though. She had expected some sort of reply from Jen after declaring her feelings. She checked her inbox and call list. Nothing? She checked her sent items just to make sure. Yes it definitely had sent so why hadn't she replied? She felt embarrassed and shy. Maybe Jen didn't feel the same. After all they had only known each other for a couple of months.

She ran to the bathroom chucking her phone on her bed. She was quite annoyed at Jen, but with Neil being downstairs already and her hearing her mum question if the boy wanted a drink or breakfast was enough to focus her attention on the time.
She stared at the mirror, her outfit from the evening before would have to do. She didn't have time to re-think her dress code right now. She adjusted her hair and reapplied some more hair product to it, it actually looked perfect, like she had just washed and styled it, bonus she thought to herself. She leant over the sink and washed her face and gave herself a quick wash. She lightly applied some makeup and sprayed deodorant under her arms and applied her perfume spray. She was ready. It wasn't ideal but would have too do, especially as it was a half day because of the exam.

Walking down the stairs to great Neil, who by the look on his face, was feeling a little uncomfortable being left with Tilly's parents, she said "right, you ready to go" with her books in her hand. "What about your breakfast love and who's coat was that that you were wearing?" asked Tilly's mum from the dining room table. "Erm … its Neil's aint it, he let me borrow it yesterday and I will grab breakfast on the way to college mum. Love you, bye" And with that Tilly had pulled Neil out of the house and closed the door behind her.
"So who's coat was it really then, and why were you wearing a coat?" questioned Neil. "Long story. So where are we meeting Callum and George for this maths revision?" said Tilly swiftly changing the subject.
"We are gonna stop by Callum's place on the way. That ok?" replied Neil. "Yes of course". "No offense or anything but you ok Tilly?" "Yep" replied Tilly with a fake smile whilst holding her phone in her free hand, longing for it to beep with a text from a certain someone.

They stopped inside Callum's and left shortly after with George and Callum in tow. There was a little bit of an atmosphere in the house between Callum and his mum, Martha, but Tilly was too absorbed with her thoughts of Jen. What's had happened, was she ok? Why hadn't she replied? Tilly thought to herself, instantly regretting sending the text. I knew I shouldn't have sent it, its freaked her out.
The three guys walked ahead as Tilly trailed behind with her face in her phone. She knew the walk to the college like the back of her hand and was not really in the mood to revise vectors with her friends but she had too, her future dependant on it. She snapped her thoughts away from her art teacher and moved closer to the group to join their conversation putting her phone away. She would deal with this later but right now it was to the college common room to revise before her exams.

At college Jen was still in her class room, wishing the college day away so she could see Tilly. She pulled out her chair and sat at her desk which was scattered with messy piles of drawings and paintings from her students. She looked to the multi coloured model elephant made from torn drinks cans that was perched on the end of her desk. Her eyes widened, and she smirked. "I know, I know, im crazy for her right?" she said to the model which looked back at her. "She's even got me talking to myself!". She sighed and looked around the room, scanning the walls which were decorated in drawings and paintings. Her eyes focused on her camera which was now lying on a desk in the corner of the room from where she had moved from. She had just downloaded the images from it. As the loud noise of the large printer processed, her thoughts turned to just a few hours ago when she had been driving home with her passenger sleeping silently beside her. The sleeping beauty breathed in and out so peacefully and as the motion of the roads tiny bumps vibrated through the moving car, Tilly's head moved slightly against the window. Condensation formed on the dark glass as she exhaled. Jen sneaked glances from the road to the sleeping girl and right then in that very moment, with the silence of the road, the music playing softly in the background, Jen was at peace, it felt like she was dreaming. She was in awe of this young woman. She was infatuated with her.

Jen was brought back to reality as her phone vibrated next to her. It was a text from Diane asking if she had seen Sinead this morning. Jen let a sigh of relief, she hadn't been missed at home and for a second she smiled at the thought of not having to lie about her whereabouts from the evening. She replied to the text asking if everything was ok and that she hadn't seen her this morning. This was not a lie at all.
Realising the time and noticing the college grounds filling with student from her window she grabbed her phone and bag and headed to the staff room.
Jen's classes for the day were scattered due to the exams and her first two periods were free, although she did have her own essays and paperwork to complete for her University course, but she thought she could do that later. In the staff room she offered to help out with the maths exam, knowing a certain red headed student would be sitting it today, and Mr Keeler was once again impressed with Jen's apparent enthusiasm for helping out and put her name down for the cover along with My Sykes which was due to take place in an hour. The excitement building up inside her and she could hardly contain herself as she knew she would be seeing Tilly.
The staff meeting finished and Jen had to quickly return to her classroom as she had forgotten to pick up her camera and lock the room.

As the corridor filled with students, Jen walked toward her art room lightly grazing her elbow along one of the walls as she routed around in her bag, which she had brought up to her chest while holding it one hand and using the other to search for her phone. Finally grabbing hold of it, she let the bag slide down her forearm, over her bracelets which were exposed by the rolled up sleeve of Jen's red cardigan that she too had been wearing the evening before, and over her long thin fingers before grabbing hold of the oversized handles, swinging it slightly.
Looking up she saw a group of four students in front of her. "Hey". She said and she over excitedly beamed a smile at the female leader of the group, who had now stopped in front of her. The girl did not look at her.
Jen took a deep breath at the pause in conversation. She had at least expected eye contact or even a hello back from the student. "You all set for your exam?" she directed again at the teenage girl of the group. "Yeah we are now after cramming in some last minute revision Miss" piped up Neil from the back, smiling at the teacher. "Well Adam, lets hope you all do well and that it's paid off" smiled Jen taking her now confused look away from Tilly to look at Neil. She always referred to him as 'Adam' as a joke since their first meeting when he had stood in silence watching her not being able to speak and she called him 'her own private Adam' referring to her apple that rolled away down the street that he picked up and handed back to her. Tilly remembered this day very well, it was the first day she laid eyes on Jen. She was helping Neil with his abstract painting of Mitzeee for the art event and Tilly could only watch as Neil gawped at the woman, of course they hadn't known then that Jen would in fact be their new teacher.

Jen looked at Tilly. She had her eyes down and didn't look the teacher in the eye. She was confused, what was going on? Why couldn't Tilly look at her? She tried to look into Tilly's eyes to see what was wrong but Tilly was blocking her out, she still didn't make eye contact and the smile from Jen's face dropped.
Callum, noticing the now awkward silence, pushed his way past George and Tilly, nodded his head at the teacher and put his headphones in walking away. "Bye Miss" said George as the group moved to the teachers side and shuffled past her.
"Um Tilly, do you have a moment. Can I chat to you about your course work?" said Jen with the teens back to her in a desperate plea to speak to her and to tell her that she was in love with Tilly too.
"Cant it wait Miss? i'm kinda busy with my exam right now!" Tilly scowled back at the teacher and didn't even stop for a reply. She turned and walked with the guys away from the common room from where they had just exited and moved along the corridor.

Jen stood outside her art room bewildered. What was going on? She pulled her phone to her face in both hands and typed as fast as she could 'Hey. What was that about? I missed you and really wanted to see you, alone. x'. She pressed send not even checking for typos. She walked into her room and waited for her text reply.
The room was empty. The corridor bustled with pupils and teachers and the loud school yard chatting echoed through the building but Jen blocked it all out, all she wanted was for her phone to beep.
The noise from the printer had finally stopped and the silence in the room gained Jen's attention. She moved to the printer and looked at the printed image. It was beautiful. Now where to put it she thought to herself scanning the room again. "Aha, perfect" she said aloud and glanced at the elephant statue once again for a reaction. Nothing! Jen often talked to herself, her thoughts would wonder and she found that her ignorance of her surroundings while in thought often amused her. She wished that Tilly was with her, she knew that the girl would have some witty comments to retaliate with.

Jen took the A1 sized printed image and pinned it to the wall near her desk. She had to remove a smaller image to make room for the large picture but it was worth it. It was such a contrast from the others in the room and it stood out for all to see.
Checking her watch and unplugging her camera from the laptop, she headed for the maths exam. Still her phone had not beeped. She was so confused and desperately needed to talk to Tilly.

By the time Jen had entered the maths exam room, most students were already seated and waiting, sorting out their stationary and putting their phones on silent and into their bags. They had at least 15 minutes before the start of the exam.
Tilly was sat the on the far side of the classroom by the large window. Neil was sat behind her, George was at the back row sat in the middle and Callum was sat at the front of the class near the door.
Jen spotted the red head sitting in the sunlight and smiled. Tilly looked over to the door thinking it was Sinead who hadn't yet arrived in the empty seat next to her. Their eyes met and Tilly instantly looked away. Jen's smile dropped once again. It was heartbreaking and her heart could have fallen out of her chest and shattered all over the classroom floor if it were at all possible. She hated the thought of Tilly upset and something was obviously upsetting the girl.
Mr Sykes walked around the room in-between the desks while Jen stood by the desk at the front, her attention focused solely on Tilly. Jen noticed that Tilly was wearing the same outfit that she had dropped her off at home wearing this morning and smiled to herself. Tilly had removed the blue cardigan and placed it over the back of her chair, revealing her cut-off sleeved blue and white patterned top. She leant back a little on the chair and her top stretched from being tucked into her green skirt and fell tightly over her chest enhancing her breasts. Jen was stood in a trance.

Enough is enough she thought and without realising she spoke "Tilly, outside please. I need a word". Her voice was stern. Jen moved to the door and stood with her back against it to allow the student to walk past her. Tilly in a minor state of shock looked up to the teacher. Her fellow classmates shot questioning looks at her as she shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows back at their stares. She moved from her seat to the door, brushing past Jen and out to the corridor. The teacher stepped out to the corridor to face the teen and pulled the door to.
"Tilly? What's going on? Are you ok?" asked Jen in her sincerest concerned voice, stepping toward the girl. "What was that all about before and why didn't reply to my text?" Tilly stood in front of the teacher her lips pouting and her foot tapping on the cold flooring with her arms crossed. Jen knew something was clearly wrong.
"Why didn't I reply to your text? That's rich coming from you. Its ok when you don't reply, but I have to reply to every one of your texts!" Tilly spluttered out, raising her voice a little, and pulling a face like a child having a tantrum. Jen instantly knew what this was about. How could she have been so stupid? A huge wave of guilt ran through her. She pulled Tilly's forearm into the toilets opposite. Uh oh, Tilly thought, I'm in trouble now!

Once inside Jen wrapped her arms around her. Tilly could not help but respond to the hug. She didn't want to, she was still sulking but she could not resist placing her arms around Jens waste inside her open red cardigan. "I am so sorry. This is about the text right?" said Jen as she ran her stroked the back of the teen's hair. Tilly's knees almost giving way beneath her as she lapped up the touch from the teacher. Tilly didn't speak a word. She had closed her eyes and let the embrace with the woman take over her.
"Tilly, I truly am sorry. I wanted to reply but thought it was best to say it to your face rather than via text."
Tilly gulped. This is not going to be good she thought. Here we go again with the, it's not you its me speech. Great, just great!

Jen pulled away from the girl and placed her hands either side of the girls face, starring into her eyes. "No, Tilly you don't get it" as she noticed the look on Tilly's face, it was heartbreaking for Jen to see the pain she had caused the girl. "It's ok Jen. I get it, you don't feel the same. It's ok. I shouldn't have said it. I was half asleep. I'm sorry" said Tilly pulling away from all connection with the teacher. She shrugged it off and broke eye contact. "hey, listen" said Jen using her fingers under the girls chin to bring her focus back to what she was trying to say. Following Jen's pull, Tilly looked into Jen's dark eyes. Then she looked to the woman's lips as they parted and she spoke "Tilly, I love you too. I just wanted to say it to you rather than text it. I want you to feel how much I love you and know that I truly mean it. I have been in love with you since the first visit to the Gormley's, I just couldn't admit it to myself, but after yesterday, well and today … did you hear what I said?"
Tilly had not moved. She froze. Her eyes did not even blink, she had not heard the other words Jen had been saying. All she heard was the first five words from the teachers mouth.
Tilly moved her hands to the sides of Jen's cardigan and gripped tightly pulling the teacher to her. She kissed her quite forcefully with her lips pressed up against her lips. Jen was taken aback but eased into the kiss opening her mouth and allowing the teen to be forceful with her tongue. It was erratic and uncontrolled and Jen liked it. Tilly released a hand from the teachers top moving it to grope Jens breast while the other wrapped around Jen's waist pulling their bodies together. It was forceful and passion fuelled. Jen's hands were running through Tilly's hair which she loved and it spurred her on more. The lust boiling through them and Tilly pushed Jen up against the nearest surface while her hands grabbed every part of the womans body.

Jen took a breather and after approximately five minutes of the frantic kissing and she pulled away from the teen. "I love you so much Tilly". Their hands met and Tilly was catching her breath. "You took your time. I was going crazy. You could've at least text back" she eventually laughed.
Tilly felt quite flustered and all thought of her exam had vanished. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled at her rosy red cheeks. How embarrassing she thought to herself.
Jen turned and thought how adorable the girl looked. "Im sorry, I couldn't wait to see you, to show you and then when I saw you with 'Adam' and the others, I didn't know what to do. You have no idea what you do to me". Tilly grinned and bit her bottom lip while looking away. She was so relieved to hear Jen say the words and she felt a little silly for acting the way she had. Jen gave her a raised eyebrow look, and Tilly knew all was well with once more. They were officially in love with one another.

"I think we should get back to the class, you have an exam to sit, sweetheart" Said Jen adjusting her clothing and making sure her lipstick hadn't smudged while grinning at Tilly.
There was that word again, it made Tilly's stomach pang and her body shudder. She moved to the door to exit the girls toilet and turned to Jen just as her hand reached the long silver handles, she looked the teacher up and down and giggled "nice outfit Miss, think I've seen you wear that before!" she winked at Jen and left the teacher standing alone. Jen smiled to herself and looked to the mirror. She looked at her smiling reflection. She had never seen the woman staring back at her so happy in all of her life. She thought she had been in love before, but the feelings she had with Tilly was so different to anything she had experienced before, it was so fresh and warm inside. She came to realise that her past relationships had been lust or infatuations that faded away. But this feeling, this feeling of being alive, breathing, feeling like a free spirit with no limits or boundaries, feeling fearless and feeling that anything was achievable as long as Tilly was by her side, she hoped would never fade or be lost. She needed Tilly, more than Tilly would ever even know.

Taking in the moment Jen took a deep breath and exited the toilets. Sinead was walking toward her and Jen could see Diane up the corridor a little standing watch as Sinead entered the classroom. Jen looked to Diane and mouthed "is she ok?" nodding after Sinead. "I'll tell ya later. Keep an eye on her for me please Jen. Cheers Love." Replied Diane as she walked over to the stairway and out of sight.
Jen wondered if they had seen Tilly exit the toilet prior to Jen. She brushed her thoughts aside and entered the class. Tilly was in her seat by the window and Sinead was settling into the empty seat next to her.
Jen looked to Mr Sykes who had already begun handing out the paperwork for the exam and she moved to the back of the class past the far row next to the window, stopping just long enough to whisper to Tilly "good luck" as she brushed past her.