You are Dave Strider and you are presently cooking the best meal in the history of mankind. No one has ever seen or tasted such divine cuisine. Even gods have only ever wished for a feast that could be this great.

Karkat has no idea what he's talking about when he says you can't cook. Well, that was sort of true until just recently. With several lessons and assistance from Jane, the master or all sorts cooking and baking, you think you've got this recipe done to the very last detail. It took a lot of work, but hey, you think it'll be worth it all in the end.

Your overall goal with this meal? To prove Karkat wrong, surprise him and making him swoon like a motherfucker. It's not like you haven't done so before, but after a certain… incident that occurred a week ago, you feel like you've been issued a challenge. In fact, the both of you pretty much have turned your relationship into a competition of who can be more romantic and make the other swoon more. You were in the lead until Karkat pulled a hidden card out of his sleeve, one that left your heart looking like it just got bombarded with missiles in the form kisses and words forged from the sweetest and touching thoughts. You swear that he gave you a shit ton of cavities, and you still feel more forming.

You'd rather not get to deep into explain what he had done in further detail, otherwise you'll get distracted from your revenge plot and it'll end up overcooked. All you can say is that it was even more romantic than most of his movies or books, and you're fucking glad that you're in this relationship with him.

He's at work at the moment, and hopefully whatever he has to deal with doesn't put him in a sour mood (not that you can't fix that issue) or cause him to stay late. You want this to be perfect. First thing is to get this meal to perfection, which is nearly done. You've already got the table set and this entire apartment cleaned. You've got candles out but haven't lit them yet since you'd rather not have them almost melted down completely for when Karkat gets home. You even got a couple scented ones, all thanks to Rose.

You'd think Terezi would have a shit ton, but scented candles are like a wrecking ball of conflictions that make her blind and give her a huge head ache. Colored candles are enough for her nose. The Lalonde's, on the other hand, are very familiar with scented candles and own a variety of scents. Roxy wasn't around to help you out, which you are not too conflicted about seeing as she could get a little wild when it comes to anything involving your relationship with Karkat. She pretty much turns into one of those moms who are always trying to offer snacks and checks up to see how things are going every five minutes and thinks their helping you get laid but only embarrass you. Rose at least doesn't do that but she sure does get a smug, all knowing look that just makes you a little uncomfortable, along with slight teasing and smart remarks. But she also knows exactly how to help, so you can't complain too much.

She showed you a bunch of candles, some that were horrible and others that made you feel like Terezi with scented candles. There was one that was called Tuxedo and pretty smelled like axe body spray made with every stereotypical masculine thing anyone could think of. Definitely not one to go with. Then there was some smoked wood or something that wasn't too bad, but pretty strong. You eventually decided to go with one that was called Nordic Ice or something like that. It was gentle and cool smelling, just enough that wouldn't give anyone a headache and Karkat should like. There was also a cinnamon one that was good but you'll use on a later day.

You've made some new music that you'll have on as well. It has been quite a while since you made contact with your turntables, since you've been caught up with other hobbies. Not to mention, the constant battles of romance between you and Karkat that have been taking up the majority of your time.

Also schooling, that's a thing you're still doing. You're not quite sure what exactly you want to do with your future at the moment, but you figuring it out along as you go. You're pretty sure it's in the line of archeology and paleontology. If that doesn't work out, there's still DJ'ing and maybe photography. Karkat had his future completely planned out, but the little sucker found himself in the last place he'd expect. He went from going through the sciences to literature (aiming to be a critic or editor or something) and now he's trapped himself in the throes of education. By education, you mean he's going to be a teacher. You aren't surprised and it fits him in your opinion. But he sure was caught off guard. He is going to be a pretty good teacher too, because if there's one thing he's good at its educating people.

Anyhow, back to the music. You made a whole new batch that you know Karkat will love. Some are slow, but not too slow because that might dull down the mood a little and sound like something you'd hear in a horror movie. You even got Rose and John to throw in some violin and piano in some of them. Jade helped out with most of them though. The ones she helped out with are a little more upbeat, like something you would hear in a club. Something to lighten up the mood even more. You hope he likes it at least.

You'd say you've got everything down pat. You even have a new movie that the two of you can watch when dinner is done. Of course, with the help of Rose once again, the wine you got might just lead to some distractions or at the very least some intense cuddles.

With the finishing touches and garnish being placed, you're pretty confident this will go well. And as the clock ticks 7:46, with candles lit and music on, the door opens and Karkat can't even say "honey, I'm home" as he stands surprised at the door. Fuck yeah, you've got him speechless.

"Welcome home," you say and take his bag from him and set it by the couch, while he tries to collect himself.

"I-you-what-," he stammers.

"How was work?" You play it off cool.

He just shakes his head, "Uh, fine. What is this?"

"What does it look like?"

"Well, it looks like you're trying to beat me at romance," his eyes narrow, and the corner of his lips turn up a little.

"That's exactly what it looks like," you reply and press a kiss against his temple.

"Jesus, Dave, what the hell is that smell?"

"Oh, just some candles I got."

"Well, they're some pretty fucking good candles," he comments.

"Just wait until you get a load of what's for dinner. Strider specialty, made by these hands."

He looks up at you, and smiles, "Romantic fuck." He then gets up on his toes and just like that your lips are smashed together. You don't want it to end, you never do, but he pulls away from you and says, "Come on; let's see what atrocity you've managed to cook up."

"Oh, just you wait. You'll be eating those words soon, because I have mastered my chef skills and I can turn those words into the best, sugar coated desert you'll ever taste." He snorts, but he will learn not to challenge you after tonight.

He sits himself down at the table next to you, because like fuck are you going to sit on the other end of the table like they do in the movies. You'd rather get a close up of his pure amazement when he tries it. Of course, he's already surprised when he glances at the dish, and even throws you a suspicious glance. Like it's too good to be true already, and he hasn't even dug in.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"Nothing!" He says suddenly and shit is that blush on his face? He's probably embarrassed.

You shrug, and take a bite from your plate. He obviously sees your action as a challenge, and he's not wrong, and proceeds to finally dig in. And boy do you wish you had your camera on you so you could take a picture of his face as it lights up.

"Holy shit." He mutters. "Who the fuck did you sell your soul to make this?"

"The demon of 'the best ways to get laid'." You reply without missing a beat. Karkat just snorts and pretty chokes on his laugh.

"That was pretty fucking bad."

"I assume you're talking about the joke, because it can't be the food. But yeah, not one of my best responses." You don't blush, which is to say that you do.

"Well, you can consider me fucking proved wrong. This is pretty good," he jabs his fork into it. "But, just know that this means you're cooking for the meals from now on."

"Are you trying to turn me into the stay at home wife, is that what this is?"

"Hey, you brought this upon yourself," he points.

"Jeez, next thing I know you're going to telling me to stay in the kitchen."

"How dare you think I'm that much of an asshole?" He gasps.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't like it, just as long as I get to wear an apron that says 'kiss the cook' and you have to do that every time you enter the kitchen," you joke, but you would totally get said apron just to get kisses from Karkat.

"I might as well move into the kitchen if that were the case." That was real fucking smooth, and you're pretty sure Karkat is patting himself on the back with how good that was.

Now you need to be smooth. "Jesus, dude we already share a bedroom, now you want to share the kitchen. This relationship is escalating quickly, don't you think? We wouldn't want to make any serious decisions while sober, which is why I got this." You then proceed to grab the bottle of wine from the center of the table. "They say the best way to make decisions is with wine."

Karkat gives you this look like 'god damn it, you've won this battle'. It's like one of those anime card games, where the protagonist pulls out a move that causes the antagonist complete shock and disbelief as they yell "impossible" and the protagonist is all smug. You're not going to lie, you're pretty smug right now, but Karkat isn't the protagonist. He's like the championship, the goal that the protagonist is fighting towards.

You notice his acceptance of your victory as you take out the cork, because he visibly relaxes and his face turns slightly pink.

"What kind?" He asks.

"Hm, I think Rose said it was Malbec or something like that. Probably pomegranate or plum. She really needs to put labels on her wines or something." While, the Lalonde's own a lot of wine and are well known for that, they actually don't drink. They used too at some point but are completely sworn off it. Instead, they just make it and then give it out to friends or have it stored away for special occasions when guest who are fond of wine arrive. But they don't really think to put labels on them, since they can tell what bottle contain what just by looking. It's like a goddamn super power.

You pour Karkat a glass and pour yours. You can tell he really likes it with the way his face just relaxes when he takes a sip.

"Glad you like it," you say, and he glances at you. You know he's just wondering how you've come to know him so well. Sometimes, you still surprised with how you have also. Considering some of the conflict you both had back in high school. You too were always fighting over something, but now it's more battling over who can be more romantic or who's the Mario Kart champion (it's so you).

The rest of the meal goes pretty quickly, until Karkat ask about the music, "I don't think I've heard this one before?"

"Yeah, they're all new ones. Had to clean up those dust bunnies that were starting a bunny colony on my turntables to make them though. Many lives were lost in order to create such beauty, but still I wonder at what cost." Yeah, you had ended up sneezing like crazy when you cleaned them up.

"I'm sure those dust bunnies were imperialists, and were planning on taking over the entire house. If anything, you a goddam hero, Dave."

"Ha, so does that mean I'm your knight in shining armor?"

"Only if I'm yours too."

"Deal."

Once it dinner was finished, you and Karkat sat down at the couch and, just as you called it, cuddled and talked. Or at least that was all you were doing until he started kissing your neck. They were just light pecks traveling from your clavicle to under your jaw. Each one leaving your skin with a tingling feeling. You have your hands placed on the back of his hips, keeping him close. His lips trail up to yours, and damn you feel like the luckiest man on earth.

The music in the background is louder than before since Karkat wanted it to be. You don't mind, of course, it's actually pretty nice. A particular song that John, Jade and Rose made with you comes on. It's pretty slow and mainly focuses on the violin and piano. You're pretty sure you just made this date look like it came straight of a movie, which is totally going to put you in the lead. He's practically swooning under your fingertips.

You pull him into your lap, where he gladly relaxes and brings you in for a stronger kiss. He's always been a good kisser from what you could tell. He knows exactly how to put his lips to work against yours, and he sure can work his tongue even better. He also knows where to put his hands on you.

He moves back under your jaw and nips at the skin there. With his arms loosely around your shoulders, and his hands rubbing your back smoothly, you just melt against him. He sucks lightly at your neck, and grinds his hips down against yours.

Wow, you should definitely take this to the bedroom.

You run your hands through his hair. It's silky smooth because he uses your shampoo. Not that you have a problem with that. It's just that you're hair does not end as luscious as his when you use it, so you're kind of jealous.

"Hey," you try to get his attention, but it looks like he's too focused on marking up your neck. It's fucking Karkat's revenge. You have a habit of leaving marks all over him, like all over. You're pretty sure his still has some from the last time and you're almost tempted to check.

"Karkat," you try once again. He hums some acknowledgment, but continues to nip and suck at your skin.

"Dude."

He finally pulls away, looking only slightly annoyed. "What?" He asks.

"I think we should move this make out session to a more appropriate location, because this is starting to get borderline PG 18. Gotta hide what happens next from the kiddo's right?"

He snorts, "I guess, we could." He presses on last kiss on your lips and moves off of you. He grabs your hands and pulls you up from the couch.

The second you're up, he wraps his arms around your neck. He kisses you again, and you wrap your arms around his waist, tugging him closer. He slowly moves backwards, bringing you along into the along to the center of the room. He stops moving and brings his lips to your neck. It's probably easier for him to reach. You huff a slight laugh at the thought.

"The hallway's over there, Karkat. I'm not sure if you know this, but it leads us to the bedroom, which is our destination. I think, or are that determined to do the nasty out here. Cause, we totally could. I mean, it would be it would be like borderline some mad pornography. Heck we could-."

"Dave," he pulls away from you. His eyes are giving you the 'really?' look. He sighs with a small smile, and rests his head on your shoulder. "Just shut up and dance with me."

It's then when you notice the slow song playing. You and John made this one, you think, you pretty sure Jade played a part in it too. Karkat obviously likes it. His hips away swaying to the rhythm, and well, you join in. You don't need to do anything sexual tonight. This is just fine.

You pull him closer, and he lifts head to meet your eyes. Pressing your forehead against his, you dance with him until you're both tired.


this was supposed to be done a while ago, but school massacred my energy.