westlife4ever80, I think that's a very good point about Zoe. She's often has trouble sorting out her own problems, but she's lost Max, Tess isn't around and I doubt she'd get much sympathy from Robyn, so Dylan is her only option at the moment. She could definitely cause trouble for Dylan! Thank you for your review.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. I'm really glad you're finding the story amusing. I find it very interesting that Zoe and Dylan are such good friends because they are very different. Dylan wouldn't be seen dead doing some of the things Zoe does and vice-versa!
Guest, thank you for your review. I do agree - Zoe belongs with Max and there's only one person who should be rescuing her. I'm afraid this story is kind of about making the wrong decisions and the fact that taking the 'safe' option can be a big risk too, so Zax fans might not like this, but Zoe will learn from her mistakes.
X-Sammii-X, it is lovely when two friends are so close, they can insult each other and it's actually a sign of affection! I think it suits Zoe and Dylan as they don't really like talking about emotions (though Zoe makes an exception where Max is concerned). Thank you for your review - I'm glad you found the chapter funny.
Tanith Panic, a Casualty film is an interesting idea! I'd watch it! Imagine Cal and Ethan on a great big cinema screen. I prefer Dylan to Max too - I do want to cuddle Max when Zoe breaks his heart, but I want to cuddle Dylan almost all the time. Thank you for your review - I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter.
LoveFiction2016, thank you for your review - I'm glad you liked the chapter. I hope you'll enjoy this one too.
Dylan forgot about Zoe the next morning and nearly walked in on her in the bathroom, but luckily, Dervla started barking as soon as he'd got the door open.
"Dylan, you haven't got any spare underwear I could borrow, have you?" said Zoe.
"No," said Dylan firmly.
"And I didn't leave anything here last time?"
"No."
If she had, Dervla would have certainly have found it by now. And picked it up in her mouth and presented it to Dylan, ideally when someone was visiting. Fortunately, he didn't have many visitors now Lofty had left Holby.
"Looks like I'll have to stop off at La Senza before work," said Zoe. "Want to come with me?"
"Unfortunately, I have an appointment with Ben Harding before work." Dylan no longer saw Ben regularly, but Ben liked to see him every three months to see how things were.
Dylan could see the logic in it, but he resented these appointments and usually cancelled them if he could possibly think of an excuse. He'd been going to cancel this one too (even though it was pointless as Ben would keep on at him until he'd made another appointment and attended it), but as the alternative was going underwear-shopping with Zoe, seeing Ben had become almost appealing.
"Shame," said Zoe. She smiled. "I'm glad you're going though. I know you didn't like the idea at first, but you're doing really well."
"I wish Ben could see that," said Dylan.
"I'm sure he does," said Zoe.
"He hasn't discharged me, though, has he?"
Zoe moved closer to him. "He just wants to make sure you're all right. You're managing your condition brilliantly and I'm proud of you, but the trouble with OCD is that anything can start you off again." She smiled. "There's no harm in humouring him anyway."
"That's exactly what I'm going to do," said Dylan.
"Unless you'd rather come underwear-shopping with me…"
"Tempting as the offer is, I'd rather get this appointment out of the way," said Dylan. "If I don't see him, he'll be sending me messages five times a day till I agree. It's extremely irritating: it's almost like being in a relationship."
Zoe laughed. "And you wouldn't want that."
"No, I most certainly wouldn't." But Dylan couldn't help thinking of Angela as he said the words.
Dylan was sitting outside Ben's office when he saw her. She didn't see him at first: she walked to the pharmacy and joined the queue, standing with her back to Dylan.
She's ignoring me, thought Dylan.
Then he felt annoyed with himself. Of course she's not ignoring me. She didn't see me. And why would I care if she did ignore me?
The next few minutes were quite disturbing. One moment, he was hoping Angela would notice him on her way out. The next, he was hoping he wouldn't notice him.
It really didn't make any sense. Either he wanted something or he didn't.
Angela had reached the front of the queue. Dylan found he was straining his ears to hear her voice, but Angela was speaking softly. Clearly, she had a high regard for confidentiality.
Unless she knew he was there and she didn't want him to hear what she was saying.
Dylan looked at Ben's door, but it remained closed. He hadn't expected anything else: he'd told Zoe his appointment was earlier than it was. But as Dylan was the first appointment of the day, perhaps Ben would make an early start.
He looked towards the pharmacy again. As he did, Angela turned, a paper bag containing medication in her hands. "Hi, Dylan," she said and came towards him. "How are you?"
"I am… very well… thank you," said Dylan awkwardly. He really didn't want Angela to know he was receiving counselling. She didn't want him to start thinking of him as a patient because… that could affect their relationship. Their working relationship. "I am… hoping to have a word with my… friend Ben Harding before he starts work. About… friend stuff."
"Oh, you're friends with Ben?" said Angela. She looked delighted. "I love Ben. He comes down to the ward quite a lot. He's lovely."
"Er… yes," said Dylan. He had a lot of respect for Ben, but he'd never thought of him as 'lovely' before.
Angela smiled. "Half the nurses on the psych ward are in love with him. But you can see why, can't you?"
"We're not friends like that!" said Dylan quickly.
"Oh, you're not close friends?" said Angela.
"No. Not at all. Not the least bit close," said Dylan.
Angela looked slightly surprised, but she said nothing.
"Not in that way," added Dylan.
"Oh, you thought I meant…" Angela started to laugh. "I suppose I can see why you did. No, I didn't think for a minute that you might be in love with Ben too. It wouldn't matter to me if you were though."
No, I suppose it wouldn't, thought Dylan sadly. He was glad Angela was so open-minded, though he wouldn't have expected anything else, but if Angela was interested in him, he'd have thought his orientation would matter to her a little bit.
He could only conclude Angela was simply not interested.
"Anyway, I'd better go," said Angela. "Some of the patients don't like it if I disappear for too long in the middle of a shift. But I'm sure I'll see you around."
"I hope so," said Dylan, before deciding that was much too forward. "I mean, I hope… I hope the patients aren't too worried."
"I hope not too," said Angela. "Some of them have abandonment issues. It's horrible sometimes, saying goodbye at the end of a shift. I know I'm coming back, but they won't know for sure until they see me again."
Dylan saw the pain in her eyes and almost couldn't bear it. He didn't want her to be upset. He wished he could say something to help, but he knew he wasn't any good at that sort of thing. "I'm sure they feel better about it once they've got to know you and they know they can trust you," he said at last. "I'm sure you're a really… nice person to… have around."
"I hope so," said Angela. "Thanks, Dylan. For being so kind. I wish I could stay and chat, but I really do need to be getting back now." She touched his shoulder lightly. "Say hi to Ben for me."
Dylan watched her go. She always seemed so together; so able to cope with anything, but he could tell how much she cared about her patients. A part of him thought she needed to take a step back and not care quite so much – after all, she could hardly stay on shift 24/7 and it would be unreasonable for her patients to expect it – but at the same time, he rather liked the fact she'd been comfortable to show him the tiniest flicker of vulnerability. It made him feel… well, important.
He tried to think of the last time someone had shared their vulnerability with them. The patients did it all the time, but that was different. It was never a response to him in particular (unless he was the one who'd upset them). It was a response to their situation.
But he had the feeling Angela wouldn't have shared her thoughts with him unless she trusted and liked him.
Dylan was glad when the day was finally over. Working often did seem more difficult after a session with Ben, though this time, he was actually more concerned about not saying things than he was about saying them.
He'd decided not to mention Angela to Ben – as they were friends, it would be very awkward if he did – but that had made things extremely difficult because Angela turned out to be relevant to almost every question Ben asked him.
He was glad to get out of there and get back to work, but although he didn't see anything of Angela, she kept intruding upon his thoughts all day. He felt almost hopeful when a patient with BPD was admitted, but the injury seemed like a genuine accident and the patient was perfectly stable so there was no reason to contact the psych ward.
"Tough day?" said Zoe, when they met on the way out.
"You could say that?" said Dylan.
"What happened?"
"Nothing in particular."
Zoe looked at him for a moment and changed the subject. "I bumped into Max today. Literally."
"Are you all right?" asked Dylan.
"I'm fine," said Zoe. "We both said sorry and went our separate ways."
"That sounds like a good idea," said Dylan.
Zoe nodded. "That's what I thought too. Me and Max… it was never going to work out. We're too different. I need a guy who's more like me." She paused for a moment. "Someone like you."
Dylan tried not to show his complete and utter horror. "Have you started drinking already?"
"No. I'm just saying we're quite alike."
"I would hardly say that."
"We're both doctors," said Zoe. "We've both had disastrous marriages. We're both kind of drifting."
"You might be drifting, but I am not," said Dylan.
"Dylan, you live on a boat," said Zoe. "How can you not be drifting?"
"The boat is secured," said Dylan.
They walked a bit further in silence. Then Zoe said: "You don't think I'm unattractive, do you?"
"Not exactly," said Dylan.
"And you don't think I'm stupid."
Dylan hesitated. "You aren't lacking in intelligence. Common sense is another matter."
"And we know we can cope with living together."
"On a short-term basis, perhaps."
"So why not?" said Zoe. "If we don't like it, we can always break up."
"No," said Dylan. He didn't doubt she would have moved on to another crazy idea by tomorrow so there was no need to be particularly careful of her feelings.
Zoe smiled. "You mean you don't want us to break up? Well, neither do I, if things go well."
"I mean no to the relationship, Zoe, and you know it."
"I don't know what your problem is, Dylan." Zoe sounded slightly offended. "It's not like there's anyone else."
Dylan turned his face away and continued walking.
There wasn't anyone else now, no.
But he couldn't help hoping that would change.
