Disclaimer: Same old, same old. I own nothing but a fresh cup of pomegranate black tea.
When he woke up to the warmth of a bright morning sun on his eyelids, Kari laid there in shock, trying to process what it meant. He had slept the whole night. Blinking slowly he rose and stretched, his muscles creaking gratefully after getting such a long period of rest finally. A smile broke out on his face, it had been ages since he had such a good night's sleep. It had been ages since he had any form of sleep, actually.
'Must be because everything is settled with Jessa,' he thought as he gave a great yawn. With his mind at ease, no anxieties or doubts had come to haunt him in the night. He wasn't sure if it was the relief from his sleep deprivation or from the stress that had been plaguing him, but he felt as if an enormous weight pushing him down had finally been released. Now that everything was back to normal, everyone could enjoy this visit as they should. Shooting out of his bed, Kari nearly tripped in his excitement to get ready. He couldn't wait, he had so much to show Jessa!
Pulling his boots on as he hurried out the door, Kari ran down the stairs in record time, nearly bowling right into Brocheal as they reached the door to the kitchen at the same time. The burly man rubbed his eyes blearily before running them over the energetic snow-walker.
"Well, someone is quite excited this morning."
"It was a good night."
Brocheal perked up at this, and with a sly grin that split his face he nudged the boy playfully. "I bet it was. Why don't I go get some fresh eggs while you wake up your lady, eh?"
Choosing to ignore the man's odd behavior, Kari merely nodded and made his way to Jessa's chamber. He knocked quietly on the door, listening for any sounds that would show she was awake. "Jessa?"
No answer came. Frowning, Kari stretched his senses, trying to feel if the girl was still asleep. There was nothing there. Stunned, he tried again and again, each time coming up blank. He could feel the outline of the room, the difference in temperature where the furs laid compared to the cold air by the window…but no Jessa. Panicking, he burst through the door- only to reveal an empty room.
He whirled around and ran back to the kitchen, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Jessa couldn't have left, she promised! She promised him she would stay!
The kitchen was just as devoid of her presence as her room, and Kari reluctantly realized the rest of Thrasirshall was the same. He was about to alert Brocheal when a familiar call sounded above him.
"The woman has left, Master."
"I know." Kari peered at the two wraith-like men shrouded in black, "Will you follow her?"
They exchanged an odd look, and their hesitance confused him. The ravens never hesitated to obey him.
"There is no need; she left a letter for you explaining where she went."
Following their line of sight, Kari located a sealed piece of parchment lying before his chair. Gently tearing it open, he read the note, silver eyes running over the words once, then twice in growing incredulity. "She returned to the Jarlshold already?"
Once more they shared a look before answering. "All we know is that the woman arrived in Trond early this morning, and soon left on the same vessel that brought her here."
Kari sank into his chair, dual sensations of relief and disappointment assailing him. Jessa had not lied to him, she was still honoring their agreement and had left to put the plans for her marriage in action. He should be happy. However, there was this troubling feeling nagging at him, making him frown. She did not say good-bye…
"If she left this morning, she should still be at sea. It is strange, though," he pondered, "I cannot seem to find Jessa at all."
There was rustling above as the two ravens shifted uneasily, but they were saved from his notice as the door slammed open and a whistling Brocheal walked in. He dropped his load of food on the table before looking about, "Where's Jessa?"
"She is on her way to the Jarlshold to plan the wedding."
"So soon! My, you youngsters don't waste any time do you? I wish I could have seen her before she left though, I can only imagine how happy she must have been." Brocheal chuckled before turning a serious eye on him, "Of course, I'm happy too. I can't tell you how proud I am, Kari."
Not fully comprehending what was going on, the snow-walker just stared as the man continued to ramble on while making breakfast. Never before had he felt such confusion. First Jessa left without even saying anything, then his ravens were acting suspicious, and now Brocheal-
"Where do you suppose the wedding should be held, the Jarlshold or here?"
The strange question broke through his thoughts and Kari gave him a questioning glance. "Why would they hold the wedding up here?"
"You're right," Brocheal said as he placed a pan full of eggs and meat over the fire. "Thrasirshall would be too much of a hassle for everyone to travel to, not to mention some are a still wary of what you have stored up here, quite right too.." He trailed off, probably thinking of all the experiments Kari's he had stumbled upon himself. "It will have to be at the Jarlshold."
"It is tradition to be wed in the groom's land, is it not? I'm sure it will be in Jorkivic."
Kari was so preoccupied with staring at the paper in his hands that he missed how his caretaker's face fell at his words. The loud crash as Brocheal dropped the pan in surprise caught his attention, however.
"Jorkivic?"
"Yes, we decided that treaty was the best option for her to accept." Kari passed him the letter Jessa had left behind.
Brocheal read it out loud with growing disbelief, "Kari, thank you for your help, you really opened my eyes to some of the things that I needed to see. There is so much that needs to be done that I decided to deliver the news of my acceptance of a marriage proposal to the Jarl myself. Give Brocheal my regards, Jessa." He looked at Kari, "I don't understand… is this true, she left to marry the Jarl from Jorkivic?"
The boy nodded once before slowly rising to his feet and making his way back to his room. He felt an incomprehensible sense of moroseness fall over him as he walked through the cold and quiet halls, his mind running over her hastily written words, the last and only sign of Jessa he could find.
"She did not say good-bye…"
Days passed in an indistinguishable daze, each second like a drop of thick molasses on a cold morning. Slowly creeping down, rolling into a heavy dullness that just barely escaped being frozen. Kari stared at the empty court around him, the snow-covered ground pristine and empty without the marks of friendly footprints. Not for the first time, he questioned if Jessa somehow stole the sun the morning she left. It was the middle of the day, but everything was grey.
Brocheal had become sullen and distant as well, which made the silence seem that much starker. After giving a brief explanation about the conversation he and Jessa had that night, the man had fallen into a state of contemplation that Kari could rarely rouse him from. The waves of confusion that came rolled off of Brocheal troubled him, but there was nothing he could do. He was confused himself.
Restlessness soon took over his limbs, forcing Kari to jump down from his perch on the tree and begin to walk. He had no destination, but that suited him as he needed all of his concentration just to navigate his thoughts. Things were settled now, everything in a proper place. The marriage would go through soon and the Jarlshold would strengthen a relationship with a needed ally. Jessa would be close by still, so nothing would change. At least nothing should have changed…
Somewhere along the line he had miscalculated, and for the life of him Kari could not figure out what went wrong, what hidden factor messed with his equations. Because something was wrong, completely and horribly wrong.
He no longer had any sense of Jessa.
At first, he contributed it to sleep deprivation. There had been other minor slip-ups regarding his powers lately, so one more oversight on his part wasn't shocking- unnerving, yes but not all that incomprehensible. But now, after days of rest and recovery, he knew there was no excuse, no reason. She was just gone.
The wind gently rustled his hair, blowing silver strands into his face but Kari ignored them, continuing his unconscious meandering. It was becoming easier to acknowledge that Jessa was somehow now beyond him. It still haunted him of course, but compared to the initial levels of anger and sadness it was much more tolerable. Once he had been able to discern that no trace of her whatsoever meant that Jessa was still alive, he was able to calm down enough to focus. He would have sensed the loss of life, the shift to the spiritual realm if she had died. It wasn't very comforting, knowing only that she wasn't dead, but it was all he had at the moment.
Now he had to find out why she disappeared… and if he should alert the others. No one knew of the recent trouble and outbreaks he had been having, and he preferred to keep it that way. Only worry and panic would arise if his friends found out the snow-walker didn't have a complete mastery over his magic. He didn't want to burden them, especially now when they would be preparing for the wedding. Weddings were a time for joy not fretting, and his usual aversion to such festivities would be enough to deal with.
Kari sighed, he knew he had been encouraging, but every time the idea of the wedding popped into his mind he felt a strong sense of unease. His feet began to drag in the snow at the thought of the events that would soon take place. I'll be able to see Jessa though.
The simplicity of the thought struck him, almost making him stumble. Here he had been stressing over finding her, when he could just go see her! This thought instantly brought a smile to the boy's face and he decided to ask Brocheal if they could leave for the Jarlshold soon. Surely Jessa would not be so busy with planning that she couldn't see him. They could make up for her shortened trip there, what did location matter as long as he was able to be with his best friend? Resolve firing his footsteps, Kari rushed back inside to find Brocheal, the melancholic air around him shedding with each step. It didn't matter that things were a little off right now, that he couldn't reach Jessa. Things always had a way of working themselves out in the end, especially when they were all together. He would just go have to go to the Jarlshold and prove that she wasn't completely lost to him.
After all, how could he ever lose Jessa?
Wooden shavings fell softly in between his fingers onto the table as he carved the knife over the block, molding it into a new form. Kari held it up in the dimming firelight, rotating it slowly, frowning slightly as he made quick corrections. Suddenly the door slammed upon, crashing against the wall with a loud bang that startled the snoring Brocheal from his chair. Kari continued carving without looking up at the intruder. "Good evening, Skapti."
The man stood in the door staring back at him, and the boy was shocked to feel such a dark intent flowing from the laid back poet. Before he could even ask him what was wrong, Skapti had grabbed hold of his shirt and dragged him up out of his chair, shaking him slightly.
"You! Do you have any idea what you have done?"
"Skapti! What the hell are you do-"
"Stay out of this Brocheal," he growled bitterly. "I have a bone to pick with you, boy."
Kari carefully pried himself free, "I can see that. Why don't you sit down and tell me what has you so upset?"
He watched as Skapti ignored him, choosing to pace irritably around the room instead. In a dramatic turn he suddenly came barreling back towards Kari, his face red and eyes livid. "How could you do such a thing to that poor girl?"
"You will have to clarify, I do not understand what you are asking."
"Jessa! How could you be so cruel to Jessa!"
Kari frowned, not liking the man's accusation. "I would never be cruel to Jessa, she is my friend!"
This made something snap in the man, and with a violent shove he sent the snow-walker stumbling back into the table. "Don't you dare call her your friend! I will not stand it, Jessa deserves more than that!"
"Enough!" Brocheal jumped up, grabbing the struggling poet in a headlock and pulling him away. "I have no idea what is going on here, but I will not tolerate such violence in my house, Skapti! Now, I will let go and you will sit down and act civilized or I will beat you myself, do you hear?"
Kari watched in shock as his attacker gave a reluctant nod and slowly sat down, his whole body tight with tension. Not even against Gudrun had he seen Skapti show such anger, something big must have happened to upset him so. Something that involved Jessa.
"Jessa is my friend, Skapti-"
"Is she?" he bit out. "Tell me then, why would you sell her out like that? Doesn't sound very friendly to me."
"Sell her- Skapti, Jessa chose to fulfill a treaty to help the Jarlshold because she loves it and its people. Kari merely helped her pick the best choice." Brocheal sighed, "I know it sounds strange, given how she felt… but this is what she ended up feeling was best. Don't know why, though, it's clear who she should really be marrying."
Shaking hands slammed down against the table as Skapti shot out of his chair. "Is that what you think? Tell him the truth, Kari! Tell him how you abandoned the one person who has always remained by your side, always standing up for you and fighting for you no matter the cost! Tell him how you broke her heart so callously!"
His mind was running furiously but he could not keep up with what the man was saying. Was this all about how he encouraged her to marry instead of finding another solution for Jessa? Why would that upset Skapti so, wouldn't he side with the Jarl as well?
Brocheal turned towards him, "Wait, I'm confused. It wasn't Jessa's idea?"
"Of course it wasn't! You know why she came here Brocheal, you know how she felt!"
"I thought I did, but apparently we were wrong. Because she said nothing to him. She chose to marry another man instead."
"Wrong, she did tell Kari-"
"I am still in the room, you know." He met their gazes, one bewildered and one angry with his own stoic one. "And I would appreciate it if we could get back on topic and figure this out."
"It seems we all have different views on what happened with Jessa," Brocheal said. "Why don't you tell us exactly what happened between the two of you the night before she left, Kari?"
"We went up to the roof to talk about her current situation, and after a while I managed to convince her that marriage to the Jarl of Jorkivic was the best option." He watched the men in front of him, not understanding what was so confusing.
Brocheal frowned, "You say you convinced her, why would you do that?"
He blinked, "Because it was the best option, the Jarlshold will benefit the most from the trade."
Both men just stared gormlessly at him. Finally, after opening and closing his mouth for a couple of seconds Skapti was able to form his next words. "Even after she told you how she felt, you still felt that trade was more important?"
"I know Jessa felt that her freedom was being stolen-"
"No," Skapti hissed impatiently. "I mean her feelings about you."
Kari frowned, not seeing where this was going. "Me?"
"Jessa told you how she felt?" Brocheal's face lit up with a giant grin, "What did she say?"
"She told me she loved me."
"And?!"
The boy peered at his caretaker, wondering why he seemed so excited when no light had yet been shed on their confusing topic. An overwhelming surge in negative emotions shifted his attention to Skapti, who was glowering at him.
"And he told her to marry a man so we could get a trade increase. You knew- you knew how she felt, and still you shattered her heart so cruelly."
"Kari, why would you… I thought… don't you feel the same for Jessa?"
"Do I love Jessa? Of course I do, why would you ask?" Skapti spluttered while Brocheal seemed in between smiling and having his jaw hit the table. Once again, Kari wished he knew why this matter seemed so hard to grasp. "We are a family, correct? We all love each other."
Brocheal's head hit the table with a loud smack while Skapti shrieked, "You idiot! How could someone with empathetic powers be so clueless about emotions?" He leaned forward, "Kari, think about the type of love you feel from Brocheal and me…does it feel the same as the kind Jessa gives you?"
He rested his chin on his hands, thinking. Brocheal always made him feel warm and safe, it was similar to how everyone else felt as well. However, Jessa…Jessa was different. There was still warmth and happiness…but there was an excitement to it, almost like a rush of adrenaline whenever she was near. "No, it is different. Jessa feels more like when Signi and Wulfgar- Oh."
Eyes wide, Kari froze as everything connected. The strange emotions he felt growing in Jessa over the years, the strengthening of their bond. Jessa loves him. Not as a friend loves another friend, but as Signi loves Wulfgar, as two soul mates who were bound for life loved…
"Yes, you just shipped off the girl who loves you to another man. Now what are we going to do about it?" Skapti laid his feet up on the table, seemingly more relaxed than his current glare and harsh words suggested.
"We were already heading to the Jarlshold, you can set things right with Jessa there. Tell her how it was all a misunderstanding."
"No, this changes nothing." Kari picked up his knife and wooden block and resumed his carving, trying to ignore the incredulous looks he was receiving and the tumultuous thoughts in his head.
"What do you mean it changes nothing? This should change everything Kari, Jessa loves you. She doesn't have to marry some stranger-"
"Yes she does, and she will without any interference from us."
Skapti's chair slid across the floor with such intensity it collided with the wall. "So even now her love means nothing to you?"
The knife paused for a second before shaving off another smooth layer. "As I said, this changes nothing."
Once more he found himself being pulled by his shirt up to face the fuming poet. "You cold-hearted bastard. Jessa has always been there for you, through thick and thin she never doubted you, and how do you repay her? You throw her away, as if her life means nothing! I thought you were so much more than this, Kari…"
Skapti dropped him, refusing to look at the snow-walker any longer. "Even if you didn't feel the same, you could have at least helped her out of the arrangement. You know how she wanted to be free to make a life of her own, but you didn't think of her at all-"
"I am thinking of her! Trust me when I say this is what is best, when we arrive at the Jarlshold I'll explain to Jessa-"
Skapti had made his way to the door by now but he froze at this comment. Without turning his head, he replied, "You won't find Jessa at the Jarlshold. In fact, I doubt you will see her for a long time-"
The man instantly was pulled back and faced towards Kari, whose outstretched arm was shaking slightly. Brocheal jumped at the sight of the boy using his powers so unexpectedly on a friend, and the room grew quiet as a tense atmosphere filled the air.
"What did you just say?" It came out in a low growl, barely audible but even more frightening in its quiet nature.
"Jessa isn't at the Jarlshold-"
"You're lying!"
"For Odin's sake Kari, go ahead and check, but you won't find her there! She's already on her way to meet her new husband."
Kari fumbled around in his pocket, drawing out a note that had obviously been worn down from many readings. "No, she said she was going to the Jarlshold to tell Wulfgar about signing the treaty with Jorkivic."
Skapti read over the note before drawing out his own and handing it over to the anxious boy. "That is just what you assumed. It said she was going to let the Jarl know, which she did by sending this letter via messenger when she reached Wormshold. And Jessa didn't sign the treaty with Jorkivic, she signed it with Hlathir-"
"Hlathir," Brocheal cried. "That might as well be the other side of the world, it's the farthest kingdom in this land!"
"No! She promised me she would not run, we have to stop her!"
"She's not running, boy. She's getting married because you asked her to, which is more than you deserve. Jessa was a loyal friend and you treated her like a tool, so you will do nothing but let her be. This is her decision, and we will honor it, you hear me?"
Kari fell back into his seat, stunned, as everything he thought he knew crashed down all around him. His mind was racing but he was so numb he couldn't process a single thought. What was happening? He heard Skapti open the door, and his words floated back to him.
"The only good thing in this is in the end she found a way to assert some of her independence. You leave her alone, Kari, she choose that distance for a reason. I can only hope that not even you can reach that far. You can, however, still come to the Jarlshold. I'll let you tell Wulfgar why one of his dearest friends has headed off to get herself killed in a Viking war."
The door slammed shut, the echo ringing around the room. Brocheal remained for a while, before he too stormed outside. Kari ignored them both, continuing to stare at the growing form in his hand, trying to disregard how the knife trembled in his hands or how his whole chest continued to ache with an intolerable fervor.
AN:
To my lovely reviewers: Jennie- I am so glad you appreciate the story! The reaction you give sounds about the same as everytime I see a review from you. I'm actually quite shocked no neighbors have asked after my health after hearing all the high-pitched shrieks coming from my house! I will work hard to give you quicker updates! Melannie- I found the snow-walker trilogy at the same age! I still vividly remember the day I stumbled across it in my school library, my life was forever changed. I'm glad you are enjoying the story!
As always, I would love to know what you all think, whether it be comment, critique, concern, or any questions you may have! Best wishes! - Einn
