DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT ~


It felt weird standing upright after being bed-ridden for so long. My legs felt wobbly, maybe also owing to the fact that the most perfect person was standing in front of me, offering his hand. And that I was going to spend an entire day with him. My heart pounded furiously, in my chest which made it even more embarrassing-I knew he could hear it. I blushed automatically.

An annoyed sound came from behind me. "Oh for goodness' sake Bella, you're going to a meadow not a torture camp." Alice was obviously getting impatient. "Do you want me to call Jasper?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath to calm myself. I held out my hand shyly and he took it. He pulled me out the door slowly as I turned back to look at Alice. "Go on," she mouthed encouragingly and I waved back.

Once outside, Edward swung me onto his back.

"Oh," I gasped.

"Sorry, did I frighten you?" I could hear the smile in his voice. "Just hang on tight, and don't let go. We won't want you back on the bed for a broken back."

"Why…?" I was suddenly suspicious and unsure.

"Trust me"

"Okay." I tightened my arms in a choke hold around his neck and lock my ankles securely around his waste. Ow. It felt like gripping stone.

He half-turned his hand to glance at me on his back, I could see a side of his mouth pulling out to form that crooked smile that never failed to knock the breath out of me. "You actually trusted me, thank you."

"Well, of course. I'm probably not-"

We were suddenly flying through the thick vegetation of the forest. Everything was blurred, and then I looked down and Edward was running. Holy cow, it's so much faster than I thought. Hmm,…I've got a feeling that he could outrun Alice anytime. I buried my face in his shoulder blades and breathed in the wonderful scent of him to prevent me from doing something I would regret. Like get sick.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The meadow was the loveliest place I had ever seen…as of a fortnight ago- Edward told me that I had been here many times before and we used to call it "our meadow". The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers-violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. I was hesitant at first, feeling the strangest sense of déjà vu. Edward must be right then.

"So, I've been here before, and it's just that I can't remember it." I asked.

Edward was already partially in the meadow, under the buttery sunshine which made half of his body sparkle brilliantly. "Yes," he sighed. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

I nodded in agreement, too awestruck to form a coherent answer. Edward looked even more stunning in the sunlight than ever before and with his crooked smile, he absolutely, hundred percent, drop-dead gorgeous. I had no reason to fear him.

I skipped lightly to his side and into the meadow. The grass was soft beneath my pumps and the fragrance of the flowers was intoxicating. He invited me to lay down beside him, patting the soft grass with a sparkling white hand.

"This was how we spent our first Saturday together." He recalled.

"Oh," was all I could reply.

We lay there in silence for a couple of minutes before he broke it with a question.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm just trying to imagine what we talked about on our first day here."

He chuckled. "Well, we were talking about my diet, actually. And I had such a hard time explaining to you the attraction you hold for me. You were a bit insecure then."

"Was not!" I pouted and then laughed out loud. It sounded so natural, so carefree. I felt warmer than I had felt in weeks. I cleared my throat, trying to hide my embarrassment, "So, do you think that maybe …you know, you could explain things to me again? We're not so good on memory here." I tapped my temple.

He laughed briefly. "You were always afraid that you weren't good enough for me and that I would leave you someday because-"

"Did you?" I couldn't help but interrupt.

A wave of sadness washed through his features. Had I said something wrong? I was about to reach out and comfort him when he composed himself enough to whisper, "Yes. Yes, I did."

"Why?" I could feel the shock on my face. I felt a slight sting, though I didn't know why. My eyes started to prickle but I would not let myself cry. I was being ridiculous. Why was my body behaving this way? Is there yet another thing that is wrong with me? My mind was telling me to stop being stupid but my heart would not listen, and started throbbing.

He looked at me warily. He must have heard my heart.

"Tell me everything." I asked. Obviously, this part made up a huge portion of my life. This might be essential in recovering my memory, I think. My heart was reacting in an insane manner; it felt like there was something deep inside trying to tear itself out. This was important, I could feel it.

"Well…" his voice broke and he paused.

Although my whole being was tearing itself apart for no bizarre reasons, I prompted. "Go on, no editing. I need to know this. Please, Edward."

He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it again. He seemed reluctant to speak. "Bella," he stared at me earnestly, his golden eyes piercing mine, "I don't want to put you through that again." His words started to flow so fast, I really had to strain my ears to catch them all. "I can't Bella, I just can't. Relieving those memories again- it's just too much for me. I don't want to hurt you a second time Bella. You don't have to know about this. If you can't hurt because you don't remember, I'd rather you not remember or anything else about it for that matter. Including me."

He was wrong. I am hurting now. But how can I explain to him that my heart is ripping itself apart and letting rip a wave of hurt that was threatening to envelope me and consume me? How could I tell him that my muscles were convulsing and my eyes prickled? He would think that I'm insane. And he would blame himself. My mind has completely forgotten about him and everything about him, but apparently, my body hadn't.

"Edward…"I whispered.

He cupped my face his cool hands, so that my cheeks were squished together, preventing me from talking. "Don't fret, love. For now, we shall just focus on getting you started. By remembering the things worth remembering." He smiled. "Like the happy things." But then, as sudden as it had appeared, his smile faded abruptly.

"You have no idea how much it hurt to look into Jacob's"-he growled the name-"mind and see how you looked like then." He shuddered delicately.

Sigh, I guess I should let him off the hook. If he doesn't want to talk about it, I won't force it. Anyway, there were other ways to recover my memories, although not as potent, but yes, there were other ways. But I had just one casual question left on that topic.

"Who's Jacob and what has he done to you?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow incredulously as if I was asking a really stupid question and the answer was obvious. "Well, I heard you growl his name then?" Suddenly, his brow furrowed and he frowned at me.

"Wait, Bella. Did you say 'Who's Jacob'?" He asked.

"Well, yeah." I replied. Oh boy, I really have forgotten quite a lot.

Edward stared at me in shocked disbelief.

"Bella, are you sure you don't know who Jacob is?" He asked warily, reading my eyes as if to see if I was playing some sort of a joke on him. I racked my brains, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob…nope, nothing.

"Is he a guy from school? I don't remember, really Edward."

A loud howl echoed off from within the forest. It was the single most deafening sound I'd ever heard. It sounded like the animal was in serious pain. Beside me, Edward let out a low hiss.


hey guys, sorry for the infrequent updates. Its just that i have my exams now and yeah, you know, i have to study. but bear with me until mid October, please. And then i promise i'll try to update every other day. Again, i'm begging for reviews. thanks so much^^