Where My Foreboding Thoughts Lead - Chapter 9
Yosuke
AN: In the next couple of chapters, I'm taking a little creative control over some bits of Zidane's story. It's my personal view on things, but if you don't like what I'm doing, feel free to open up a debate so I can see what other people think of it.
Final Fantasy 9 and it's characters do not belong to me.
Despite her best efforts as of late to keep a firm grasp on situations and have some control over what was happening, mainly because she'd had so little control over anything in the past few months, Garnet was at a complete loss right then.
There were four of them there in the "Mean House", as it was so lovingly referred. Zidane, who stood calm and collected leaning against a wall with his hands in his pockets and a look of underwhelmed agitation on his face, Garnet, who stood nearest to Zidane with her arms posed awkwardly in the air, Beatrix, who had drawn her sword and now stood with a look of complete horror and fury on her face, and at the center of all the attention sat the harbinger of destruction and genocide himself, Kuja.
The elder Genome, appearing tired and grumpy, remained on his cot, his thin white robe, a sloppy piece of work no doubt crafted by the mages in their attempts to comfort him, lay against his thin, frail form, wrinkled with pieces of straw stuck to it. His dark eyes flickered from person to person slowly, unamused by Zidane's presence and unimpressed by the glimmering sword currently wielded in his direction.
"What is this monster doing here?" Beatrix snarled, measuring her "opponent" with her eye and trying to gauge her chances of winning, even in such a confined space. Garnet remained close to Zidane but with her arms raised to potentially stop the older woman from attacking needlessly.
Kuja made no motion to defend himself, barely giving the general a thought as he returned his attention to Zidane. "What is the meaning of this, Zidane? Why do you bring them here?"
"Well, it's..." Zidane started, scratching his chin in thought. "It's hard to explain... See, Dagger here was worried about me, so I thought maybe-"
"You look different," Kuja cut in, leaning forward just a bit to see him better in the dark ambiance of the hut. "Your hair..."
"Yeah," Zidane murmured, avoiding eye contact. "I guess, uh... I guess if there wasn't a family resemblance before, there sure is now."
Garnet's attention turned from Beatrix to the two brothers, eyes passing between them as realization began to dawn on her. "Zidane, you... you meant to go to Kuja for help? You believe he will help you?" Despite her curious tone, the question was meant to suggest her disbelief. Zidane was turning into a monster, so he was going to another monster for guidance? It made no sense to her.
"Why are they here, Zidane?" Kuja spoke just barely above a hiss, sliding his legs from the bed, a noticeable weariness in his arms. "I've no interest in entertaining a wimpy princess and that barbaric excuse of a woman she keeps as a knight."
A flurry of activity ensued, mainly consisting of name-calling and leering. Zidane tried to insist to the other Genome that his intentions were harmless, Beatrix lurched forward to attempt to grab the once-dangerous man, and Garnet braced herself against her own general to quell the attack. Kuja, for the most part, just glared at everyone. That mess continued on for a few moments until Garnet managed to regain control of everyone.
"Zidane," she spoke quietly, as if not wanting anyone else in the tiny room to hear as she remained rooted in her spot between a now calmer Beatrix and the still indifferent form of Kuja. "Perhaps you could start explaining a few things? Like how Kuja is alive and why you brought us to him."
"Yes, Zidane," Kuja purred. "Why bring this little bird back into the claws of a beast?" Dark eyes gazed the queen up and down, but Zidane merely rolled his eyes.
"Knock it off, Kuja. You know you're more like a declawed kitten than the beast you used to be."
This earned the smaller Genome an angry glare as Zidane turned towards Garnet, an apologetic look on his face.
"It's a long story, but I'll try to shorten it some." He glimpsed at Beatrix once to gauge how calm she was, then sighed and began his story.
There had been a mixture of relief and sadness in him as Zidane had watched the airship containing his friends take off towards the horizon. Unsettling, also. He was alone in the disaster zone with no guarantee of escaping with his own life. But he had to try. He had to go back. Because Kuja was buried in there somewhere, and the haunting melancholy of his voice assured him of just that.
So down Zidane had went, riding the violent roots in their tantrum down to the bowels of the Iifa Tree, where he finally managed to join the sickly, battered body of his brother. Kuja's eyes scorned the younger Genome's presence, but the lifelessness of his voice kept his words honest.
"Zidane...? What are you doing here? I thought I told you to go..."
Zidane scoffed, waving a hand innocently.
"Wouldn't you do the same for me if you knew I was dying?"
The awkward silence that followed all but answered that question, Zidane coughing a little. "Nevermind."
"Your comrades were able to escape?" The question came as a bit of a surprise, though to be honest, Zidane was tired of surprises at that point. He needed normalcy. He needed the mitigated side of this disaster. He wanted things pleasant for a change.
"Yeah... I knew you had something to do with it," Zidane said, almost accusingly though a slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. The mirth was barely reciprocated, much to Zidane's delight.
"...I'm glad they made it," Kuja wheezed.
"Yeah, well..." Zidane took a glimpse up through the network of tree roots above them, tangled like spiderwebs to snuff out the light of day. "It's our turn to get movin'."
Kuja's eyes shut lazily, as if to feign death. "...I don't deserve to live after all that I've done. I'm useless to this world."
"No one's useless... You helped us escape, remember?"
Kuja's eyes slowly opened again. "... After you guys beat me, I had nothing left...nothing more to lose. Then, I finally realized what it means to live... I guess I was too late." The last words were spoken with a lethargy to them, the effort of talking suddenly too great and with a small sigh, the pale lids shut once more and his head rolled to the side, consciousness leaving him entirely. This startled Zidane, who twisted in his spot to lean over his former enemy.
"Hey!" Zidane grabbed his shoulder. "Don't you go dying on me, alright?!"
A great rumbling echoed from around them, a tremor in the vines that reached all the way into Zidane's core as he once again peered skyward, finding that the roots were no longer stationary, but twisting and writhing as they had once before. They speared downwards toward the two Genomes, unbiased in their aim as Zidane jolted forward, grabbing Kuja as if to shield him before jerking him as quickly as he could, rolling the lifeless body from the tree membrane they rested on and off of the side of it. As Kuja plummeted down, Zidane leapt after him, feeling the breath of wind behind him as the strong roots punctured the membrane.
Zidane managed to collect his brother from the mess of dirt he'd fallen into, lifting the surprisingly light body over his shoulder and making a haphazard effort to climb the roots once more.
"Kuja," Zidane grunted as he hopped from root to root, encumbered by the other Genome. "I swear if I die here because of you, I'm going to kick your ass in the next life."
They were making decent progress in a general upwards direction, riding a few convenient roots here and there, but the weariness from previous battles were all but whittling down what remained of Zidane's strength preserves, and he soon found himself collapsed on an intersection of the tree's appendages, heaving in lungfuls of air and wiping the sweat from his brow.
"Damn," he hissed. "This isn't going to be as easy as I had hoped." He readjusted his brother on his shoulder. "Y'know, when I joined Tantalus, this isn't exactly what I had in mind for a career."
An abrupt shifting in the roots beneath his feet startled him, causing him to fall over and lose his grip on the other Genome. Kuja slid from his grasp and tumbled downwards again, into the blackness beneath them. Zidane, still breathless and exhausted, leapt over the side as well, falling after Kuja and striking the shifting appendages on his way down. By the time he landed on another membrane beside his unconscious ward, the thief was too tired to lift him again.
"Kuja, I don't think I can do it after all." Zidane knelt beside the body, speaking as if he could hear him. His bones felt weary and his heart raced. He'd had no time to heal after his battle with both Kuja and the death deity (Zidane had pondered hard on the name but as the affair had been so violent and terrifying, he'd barely remembered what weapon he'd been using, let alone his enemy's name). To escape that moment then, with the tree falling down all around them, would be nothing short of a miracle.
Zidane stood on shaky legs, staring up at the roots crashing down around them and began thinking of his friends. It was strange and poorly-timed, but the thought of seeing them all again put a smile on his face. And Dagger... Oh, how he'd loved to have kissed her just once before his time was over. Death was an inevitability, he knew that. They all did, especially after escaping from Death itself, but to die then before he was even finished with all the things he wanted to do, the things he wanted to say to Dagger... It couldn't be his time. Not yet. And not Kuja's either. That butthead had a lot of crap to make up for.
There was also the black mages and the Genomes, who he knew were waiting patiently in their village, waiting for word of the outcome. Surely someone would write them a letter... No, he wanted to see them. He wanted to see Mikoto. The thought of having a younger sister warmed him. While she seemed perfectly capable of taking care of herself, what kind of big brother just up and abandoned a sibling with no word?
Eiko and her simple crush, Steiner and his short fuse, Vivi and his strength, a great strength Zidane would've killed to have right then... And Dagger. He wanted so badly to see Dagger again. He needed to see her.
Unconsciously, he began to hum her song, their song, the song Dagger had been singing the moment he'd realized he loved her.
Hardly aware of it, the wood under his feet splintered away, roots shredding to pieces as they neared him, and when Zidane found his focus again in reality, he felt that familiar tremor of energy in him, the power that crackled and heightened his senses in a way no training would ever amount to. He had Tranced.
Holding fast to the thoughts that had fueled him, Zidane drew his double-bladed sword, his Ultima, and brought forth the energy to open the tree around him, his Stellar Circle 5. The resulting vortex braced the roots in their paths, forcing them open and revealing a pathway out. White light of the sky greeted him, and he took the opportunity by grabbing Kuja's unconscious form with his newfound yet temporary strength and hauled him over his shoulder once more, leaping towards the opening and praying his attack would last long enough to let them out.
Needless to say, it was successful. Zidane and Kuja escaped, though shortly after clearing the Iifa Tree and traipsing the barren wasteland, miles from civilization, the thief's Trance wore off and he was again slackened, collapsing on to his stomach with Kuja equally as unresponsive at his side.
Zidane wasn't certain how long he had been out for, but the sight of a blue sky peaking through a glassless window and the sound of running water slowly brought him back to life. The Genome groaned and rolled his sore body to the side, registering the feel of a lumpy mattress and the stuffiness of bedsheets. Eyes adjusting to the light, he managed to make out wooden shelves lining the room he was in and a slightly hideous woven rug on the floor. The room was small, filled with trinkets and strange items he wasn't familiar with. The air was cool on his heated skin and the sound of the water alerted his thirst to a nearly suffocating level. But as he thought to climb from the bed and find this source of water, a sharp, high-pitched voice stayed his attempts.
"Oh! He's awake! He's awake! Kupo!"
The pitter-patter of wings filled in some of the blanks, and Zidane groaned again into the pillow.
"Where...?"
"You're in the Summoners' Village! In Madain Sari!" responded the same voice, a Moogle Zidane honestly knew he wouldn't have been able to distinguish from the several others that lived there as well.
"How...?" again came Zidane's monosyllabic questioning. The Moogle wiggled its nose.
"An airship passed by the Iifa Tree to inspect the area after such a big battle. The airship was from Lindblum, and my dear friend Mumar was on it." The little creature lifted a glass of water from the bedside table with both paws and carried it haphazardly to Zidane's side, who immediately snatched it up and downed the liquid in four gulps. Letting out a deep breath, Zidane dropped the glass and collapsed back onto the bed, the Moogle already filling the glass once more using a ladle in a wooden pitcher.
"Mumar recognized you," the Moogle continued, "but the crew did not. He begged them to take both of you here because he knew that we could take care of you until you got better, kupo!"
The words had wafted right over Zidane's head for the most part, too distracted by the great thirst he still felt until a certain word caught his attention: both. Zidane jerked upwards, almost sending the little Moogle flying.
"Where's Kuja?"
"The fellow you were laying next to?" the creature asked. "Oh, he's outside, kupo. By the dock, kupo."
Within moments, a newfound strength was in the thief as he leapt to his feet, completely ignoring his intense thirst and exhaustion, and flew out of the room, making his way past the stone edifices of the village surroundings and to the rickety stairway that lead to the makeshift dock, which was barely recognizable anymore from the waves' erosion.
Zidane found the other Genome sitting motionlessly on a stone ledge above the wooden dock, head turned to stare up into the sunny blue sky and body slack against the wall behind him. The light breeze caught the thin strands of hair and just barely ruffled his clothing. Aside from that, Kuja resembled a statue, something made by artisans to be sold as a fountain piece in upscale Lindblum. Zidane hated to admit it, but he was in awe of the level of perfection that was Kuja. He looked like an angel, though he was most certainly a creature tormented in Hell.
The strength he'd held fast to suddenly abandoned the thief, too tired to stand upright any longer and not really caring to, now that he'd found his goal. Zidane let out a grunt as he fell to sit on the ground, a good ten feet away from Kuja, who finally seemed to notice his visitor and turned to look for himself.
His expression was one of faint displeasure, but the dark smudges under his eyes and his apparent need to stay seated told Zidane that Kuja truly was defeated. There would be no attempt to escape or retaliate. There would be no reviving his plans for world domination or destruction. The Angel of Death was dead. Now it was just Kuja, Garland's failed experiment, a Genome with no purpose. There was no need to run and hide. Kuja was ready for whatever would come.
Based on the conversation they'd had at the Iifa Tree, as Zidane recalled, Kuja expected to die. Hell, he wanted to die. Had he managed to talk any sense into him back there? Was Kuja feeling even the slightest bit better?
The older Genome turned his head to once again stare away from Zidane and to the sky. The sun was wonderfully bright and warm that day, but the rock cove they sat under blocked out the light.
"Did you ever wonder before," Kuja began softly, "why you were alive? Before you found out about the circumstances of your birth?"
It wasn't a question he'd been expecting, and frankly he wasn't sure how to answer.
"Well," Zidane thought on it. "Maybe? I mean, I think everyone wonders that at some point in their life. I was convinced I was human for most of my life, though. Mostly human, anyway." Zidane's tail swept along the ground behind him once before curling around the side of his leg. "I spent more time wondering where I had come from, who my parents were, why I wasn't there anymore..."
Zidane's eyes turned out to the ocean.
"I wanted to find the blue light. That's what I wondered about."
"Blue light..." Kuja chanted quietly before recognition sparked in him. "Terra. The assimilation." The look of disappointment was back on his face. "And now that you know about that 'blue light', are you satisfied?" Kuja glimpsed back at his brother again. "Are you content with the information you've been given? Can you say you'd die happy knowing that all your questions were answered?"
Zidane had to think on it again, and briefly, as he stared out into the ocean, he remembered the last time he'd been down at that dock, drifting to sea on a sturdy little boat with Dagger, telling her the story of Ipsen and rocking to the lull of the waves as her entranced eyes studied him, fixated on the story and his presence. It had been a rare sincere moment, and Zidane would always remember how beautiful Dagger looked backlit by the fiery sparkle of the lapping waves.
The younger Genome smiled faintly, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
"I'm happy," he spoke quietly. The answer surprised Kuja. "I'm happy knowing that I did have a purpose and that I was created with meaning, even if that meaning was destructive and terrifying. And I'm happy you threw me away." The thief shot a sly grin at his brother, who returned the gaze with narrowed eyes and a deep frown. "If you hadn't thrown me off of Terra, I would've never had the amazing life I've lead."
"Thinking of your canary?" Kuja asked, a slight undertone of mocking in his voice. Zidane couldn't help the grin that broke out on his face.
"I'm going to see her again someday... but not today. Or tomorrow. Not this week, or month, or year."
"And why is that?"
"Because," Zidane started matter-of-factly, struggling to push himself to his feet. "I have things to do. Things that need to be sorted out." The thief looked Kuja up and down once. "Such as you, for starters. You got any plans now that you're not bent on destroying our planet?"
Kuja scoffed. "And since when did I become your responsibility?"
"About two seconds after you started with the 'Help me! Help me, Zidane!' back at the Iifa Tree."
"I said no such thing!" Kuja spat.
"You may as well have. You knew I wouldn't leave you. It goes against my nature." Zidane smiled, a genuine smile that made Kuja uncomfortable. It was true; he hadn't expected Zidane to leave him behind, but he knew he deserved to die. Zidane was too kind for his own good, a trait that could very easily get him into trouble.
"And how do you know I don't intend to kill you anymore?" Kuja tried one last time to test his brother's intentions, but the smirk on his face told him the answer before he even spoke.
"Guess I'm just gonna have to trust you."
Kuja didn't like that answer, but he knew it was all he was going to get. Somehow, he was almost certain Zidane was aware of Kuja's internal situation but was being far too courteous to mention aloud. The older Genome was powerless. All his magic, all his strength was gone. There wasn't even the faintest bit of a black magic spell in him. There was no energy left to attack, with spells or with his own hand. Kuja was a neutered threat. He was weaker than Zidane when they'd first met. Hell, he was weaker than the little Oglop freak he'd captured in his lair with Zidane and his group.
It would always be like that, he knew. After that final battle, his powers pushed to the extreme, his strength stretched beyond his own capacities in order to take down his enemies into his own grave, Kuja had exhausted his Trance state to the point that his energy was absorbed completely and he was left more powerless than a fly. It was only by some bizarre, sadistic twist of fate that he'd been left just enough life to survive the Iifa Tree's assault and the trek through the wasteland of the Outer Continent.
And that bizarre, sadistic twist of fate was named Zidane.
He wanted to be angry. He wanted to hate Zidane for saving his life, despite how much he wanted to live. But he couldn't hate him. Something in him made him appreciate the chance he'd been given, as much as he didn't deserve it. But what was left for him then? Where would he go? Gaia was his enemy, so who was he to live in Its bounty? Where in this world was there a place for him when he'd deemed so eagerly before that there was no place left for Gaia?
Zidane solved this dilemma within a week. By the time the smaller Genome had managed to gather most of his energy back and set a few broken bones from earlier, Zidane had chartered an airship to take the two of them to Black Mage Village where they were met with a rather dubious group of black mages, unsure if Kuja's presence in that town would be detrimental to them.
It had taken some convincing, but once they were certain that Kuja was no threat, in body or mind, and once Kuja was finished throwing a lifeless temper tantrum over being kept "prisoner" in a "village of dolls", he was relocated to the tiny hut in the back of the town, quickly renamed "The Mean House" due to every visitor being snarled at every time Kuja was tended to.
Zidane remained in the village for a month and half, making sure Kuja was comfortable and had everything he needed, the other Genomes instructed to steer clear of him, and arrangements made with Mikoto to, at the very least, attempt some sort of physical therapy to help Kuja get back on his feet. Mikoto hadn't been terribly fond of the idea, but agreed as she did trust Zidane implicitly.
Kuja barely even attempted the therapy. He was so resolved to suffering for his actions that he did little more than lay on his cot every day, slowly withering away into a pitiful shadow of the great being he once was. Zidane simply let it be, figuring Kuja would find his own motivation to continue living in his own way at some point. For right then, he just needed his space.
Near the end of his time in the village, when he'd decided it was time to move on and continue sorting out things that needed attention from him in other parts of the world, a delivery arrived at the outskirts of the forest. A Moogle, familiar with the area, had summoned Zidane and a few helping hands from the village to assist with a large, wooden box left there by a delivery boat.
It had been a mystery to Zidane and the others, as there were never any deliveries made to the little town, except for a rare trade inquiry from Conde Petie. But the thief took immediate interest when he saw the emblem of Alexandria inscribed into the wooden lid, and quickly set to bringing the package back to the town. It couldn't have been a package for him. Garnet had no idea he was there. So who...?
A horrifying, heartcrushing truth swallowed the village when Zidane cracked open the lid to find a small, intricately designed coffin inside. The Alexandrian insignia was beveled into it as well, a parchment paper folded neatly atop of it. Zidane took the liberty of reading it first, but barely had the strength to finish, letting the paper fall from his fingers as he stared in silent shock at the small delivery.
Mikoto approached then, finding the paper on the ground and lifting it to read the words aloud quietly as Zidane opened the coffin and peaked inside before dropping to his knees and closing his eyes, too paralyzed by the moment to allow it to continue any further.
Dear honorable residents of Black Mage Village,
It is with my deepest regrets and sincerest regards that I have made this unfortunate delivery to your town. Your settlement has been nothing short of warm and welcoming to myself and my comrades in our times of need, and we think of you as our treasured friends, spared from the horrors of a war that stole so many from us.
You are honored and loved by us, but in particular there was one who loved you more. He looked to you as a family he could always come to, to talk and share his life with. You were all special to him, and it has brought me nothing but joy to know that he found a place to call a home away from home. I am also happy to be rest assured that he was also spared from the terrors of the recent war despite how actively he participated in it, but as it is with all life on this planet, it one day came to an abrupt end.
Please be content in knowing that our dear friend passed on quietly, painlessly, and surrounded by friends and loved ones. My deepest regret is not knowing that it would happen when it did, as his previously deepest fear of one day 'stopping' with no warning did come to pass. I wish I could have helped him more, give him the things he wanted, take him to the places he needed to be again. I wish I could've helped him to see you all again.
Our dear friend and comrade is gone in life, but not from our hearts. He was an honorary citizen of Alexandria, but I know, deep in my heart, that he would find no greater joy than to be buried in your beautiful village, in the cemetery you so lovingly built for your fallen friends. If he could lay beside the people he found the deepest comfort in, I know his soul will be at rest.
I humbly apologize for bringing such horrible news. This loss shakes us all and reminds us of how precious life is and how quickly it can end. Please take great care in Vivi's burial and one day I hope to come visit his grave and pay my respects to not only him, but all of your resting brothers as well as your wonderful home and the loved ones that are still with us.
May he rest in peace.
Signed,
Garnet Til Alexandros XVII, Queen of Alexandria
Chapter 9 - end
To Be Continued
AN: So I did some reading and apparently the most likely and logical explanation as to how Zidane and Kuja escaped the Iifa Tree after the big battles was that Mikoto came to rescue them. It even shows her in the game at the Tree, looking around (and I believe lending some narrative to Zidane). I understand that it was probably a better, more believable choice to go with Mikoto rescuing them, but for the purposes of driving this fiction, I chose to have Zidane get them out of there. I'm not trying to neglect logic or the game's story itself, I just needed to drive Zidane and Kuja's relationship a little more.
It is also theorized in forums and wiki sites that Vivi does die sometime after the final battle, in the year before the final cutscene. The idea is reinforced by the fact that he himself does not show up for the play in Alexandria, but rather his "sons" do. While I do love Vivi tremendously, I do find the theory to be logical and a good conclusion for him, considering he'd already lived considerably longer than most other black mages. Trust me, I don't want him dead but it works very well for the game's story (and my fanfiction). Sorry!
Hope you all like where I'm going with this. If not, feel free to comment.
