Short chapter sorry, I enjoy writing but struggle a bit when it follows along the main plot, I don't want to do it injustice.

Enjoy!


Chapter 9: Recollection

The next day was just as warm as the previous, but at least there were some clouds to help break up the unrelenting sun.
I felt calmer today, my aches were gone and my head was clear, I just wish I didn't feel like a cage mouse. The wall was maned once again, but at least today I wasn't thinking about how I could knock them out and sneak away. No, today I had been put to use but handing out water bottles and checking that people didn't have any complaints, boring work under the harsh fist of Rowan, who seemed to be crankier than usual and I wondered if it was because the Governor was having a new fling with the new girl Andrea. We all knew it, it was what everyone spoke about when collecting food rations; good old town gossip.

Regardless I went about my duty, taking notes of peoples issues; no hot water in room two zero three, needed more blinds to keep the sun out of room forty eight. I tried my best not to scoff, these people really did have it easy, most of them spoke to me like I was some maid at an expensive hotel, but I bit my tongue and relayed it all back to Rowan. I was carrying an esky full of ice and water bottles towards the wall when I realised who was on there; Trisha, Merle and the little snot nose Hayley. What a mix to make my day, but I greeted them with a smile, putting the esky on the step and they all eagerly came down to grab a drink. Trisha was first and as she rubbed it over her chest and neck, I waited for some remark but instead she gave me a nod and mumbled thanks. I think that was the nicest she could manage for me, and I accepted it. I tossed a bottle up to Hayley at her demand, the girl gulping it down quickly before sitting back down on her chair with her modern bow. I had no idea why she was there, if they needed a good shot, they needed either myself or Vincent but I had a feeling that we weren't as trusted as others around here.

Merle stopped on the step above me, leaning on the wall and giving me a smile.
"So, you were hanging out with my brother in the wilderness. How is he doing?"
I left the esky there, hoping it would stop him from following me but he jumped over it, his long legs keeping him beside me.
"Whoa whoa please, come on now, this is my brother we talking about here."
I stopped, turning to Merle, feeling as though I owe him that and he gave me a nod of thanks.
"How long had ya been with the group? Do you know Andrea?"
I shook my head, "No, I only met her yesterday. I helped Daryl and he helped me at the start of winter. We moved around a lot and that was about it, I found my brother so I left."
I wasn't sure what Merle was wanting to hear and I swallowed hard as he looked at me sharply. There was no way I was going to tell him I loved his brother, that we had multiple times slept together through the cold winter, so I kept my mouth shut, waiting for him to finish thinking something over.

"So you were with him up until a few weeks ago?"
"When my brother found us, he left the day before we did. He was alive then but I don't know," I cringed at the thought of him being dead somewhere or roaming the forest as a walker but as I thought about it, I knew he was alive, there was just something I could feel. Merle gave me an odd look but I squared my shoulders, ready for any more questions. Something in his face changed and it made me anxious.
"So, Officer Rick is still leading the charge hmm? And that little china man,"
"Glen," I corrected him and I realised that Merle had been with the group, even though I don't know what happened, but maybe he wasn't as bad as I first thought. His face was bruised from the fight the night before but he seemed to take in in his stride and I could see where Daryl got his determination from.

"Glen, that's right, the little mouse. We were pals, but, no so much with officer friendly."
I didn't know how much he knew and I didn't really care, we were both part of the same group once, we weren't any more and I didn't know what Merle wanted from me. I wasn't going to tell the Governors right hand man the last location I knew the group had been in, not when each time they went out to get people they came back with some triumphant sad story of sacrifice. With a small shrug I turned, ready to go back to my chores when Merle grabbed my shoulder again, this time a lot firmer than last and it was enough for me to let out a small sound of discomfort.

"Hold on there, you can't leave and not tell me about my brother,"
"I can't tell you where he is." I growled slightly, frowning up at him but all of his smugness was gone, replaced instead with genuine concern and desperation.
"He was fine, the whole group was last time I saw them. He is strong guy, he's surviving, probably got it from you." I said, trying to flatter him but it didn't work, he was just a man desperate for his brother, but if he really did care, he would stop being the Governors right hand man and leave to find him. Merle smoothed out my shirt on my shoulder, giving me a nod as he kept his lips tight and I just stared at him; he was harder to figure out then even Daryl.

As quickly as I could without running I left, marching along the ground to get away from him. A quick glance over my shoulder and he was still watching me so I snapped my head back around, focusing on the ground.
"Jasmine!"
Dam, no rest for the wicked.
I slowed to a stop, looking for the voice that called me and relaxed slightly as Andrea stepped quickly across the road towards me. Coming from the Governors building, she wasn't trying to keep it discreet then and a quick glance up at the Governors window showed him standing there, watching down over us like a hawk and I felt a shiver rush up my spine. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Merle move closer and I tensed, hoping he wasn't coming back to us but instead he gave me a little wave before heading into the building, no doubt to talk to the Governor about something.

"How are you?"
I looked back at Andrea, shaking my head lightly to get my thoughts in order.
"Sorry, I'm scattered everywhere today." My eyes drifted from her face up to the window again, but the Governor wasn't there and I quickly returned my gaze to her friendly face.
"Well I'm probably going to scatter you a bit more, the Governor wants you to come with me to go and see Milton."
I didn't want to argue, so I just nodded. Merle returned to outside, slowly making his way down the street and I felt my eye twitch as the Governor strolled to join us.
"Hello ladies," he said with a smile that made my stomach turn. Andrea just smiled up at him, looking at him as though she was under some sort of spell and I made an effort to not roll my eyes. I thought this would be a great time to ask questions, ask what had happened to Andreas friend, why were there so many military weapon here, why were so many people on guard today? But I bit my tongue as the Governor spoke.
"I hope you don't mind Jasmine but Milton has something going on and I would like very much for you to help him and Andrea."
"Depends what it is," I replied and the Governor chuckled.
"Nothing bad I promise, but it is serious so if you could please," he said, gesturing with his hand to continue walking.

I did, Andrea walking close to the Governor and I followed as we headed to Miltons domain, but this time we took a different door, the buildings walls crumbling and it didn't look much better on the inside. The Governor shut the door after I stepped in, the first thing that hit me was the odd smells. The large room was decorated with calming olds paintings hanging close to a bed, gentle classic music playing from an old record player. Despite the cold concrete floor and the exposed cords hanging from the ceiling, it would have felt like a grand parents house, that and the old man lying in the bed in the middle of the room. Milton was seated beside him, feeding him something but he stopped when he saw us. The Governor stepped forward to Mr Coleman, introducing the two of us, thanking him for his service before giving us all a nod.
"I'll see you for dinner." He said to Andrea quickly before leaving the room. I shared an anxious glace with her as he left, looking around the room confused as to what we were doing here. Both of us looked to Milton, waiting for him to give us some sort of explanation but instead remained Milton.
"Could you queue up the first song on the record," he interrupted Andrea, looking at his watch. Andrea did as commanded, moving past me to do so and I stood at the foot of the bed, waiting for an order to come flying my way when I cleared my throat.

Milton glanced up at me quickly, "if you could just stay there out of the way."
I huffed out a breath, crossing my arms; what was I doing here if I was going to be getting in his way? What was going on?
"On my mark," he said and began to use what looked like a chakra bowl, the sound relaxing as it emanated from the bronze object. I flicked my eyes to Mr Coleman, his skin pale, almost yellow and I knew that he was dying, what I still didn't know was why I was here. The song began to play again and Andrea turned to stand beside me as we watched Milton ask a series of questions, to which Mr Coleman, Michael, began to reply with the raising of his hand. There was a grimace of pain on his face when Milton mentioned his children, I assumed they were dead, that and they weren't here beside their dying father was another clue.

With the song still playing gently, we pulled seats up for ourselves while we waited for Michael to die. It was an odd thing, to watch someone die slowly and quietly again; no screams, no cries in agony, just a slow death.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, Milton putting a clipboard down and walking with a drink in his hand, back to the chair beside the bed.
"After Mr Coleman passes we'll restrain him," he said, looking directly at Andrea, "he'll reanimate and I'll ask the questions again, record his responses," he took a gulp from his drink almost sadly, "I need you to end the subject's reanimated state."
"Alright," Andrea sighed, sitting more comfortably on the stool.
"I've been trying to determine whether trace memory in the human consciousness exists after the subject has transformed but I had no base line to work off of, till now. Prostate cancer, we didn't have the resources, so he volunteered. He's a remarkable man."
"You were close?"
"We've spent some time together."
I glanced around at the objects, listening as Milton explained how he hoped that they would be some sort of trigger to him once he was dead, that it would help him remember.

"This is pointless." I sighed, leaning back in the chair and holding Milton's cold gaze.
"There is no unconscious mind, Milton. When they turn they become monsters, whoever they once were, is gone."
"We'll see." Milton said with a smug grin before he turned to me. "I want to ask you a couple of things." I tensed, of course I should have realised that was why I was here. Andrea turned to me, looking at me strangely.
"What?"
"You were bitten, and I spoke to doctor Grace, the lady that treated you while at the apartment building, she said that you had been dead for a few minutes."
I could feel Andreas eyes burn on me and I frowned at Milton, crossing my arms and trying to look as though I didn't give a care in the world, but really I was screaming on the inside with terror. Did I always have to be reminded of that?
"You were bitten?" Andrea asked, turning to face me more and I just nodded; at least she didn't move away from me.
"Yes but I didn't turn because I didn't stay dead." Why was this guy obsessed with walkers? Why couldn't he understand like everyone else that these things were dead, just rotting corpses with whatever part of the brain keeping them up and moving, that was it?

"From my research by talking with some of the other people here, it can vary between how long someone can reanimate, some took a minute some took a day. It varies on each person and you were lucky enough to remain unanimated until you miraculously came back alive. I just want to know how you came back to life instead of a, something else, do you remember anything at all?"
I had no idea what he was rambling on about, I didn't want to be a part of this.
"All I remember is being in pain, but I guess it was my memories that let me live, I was strong enough to not give in."
I stood up quickly and turned around. Milton and Andrea both tried to make me stay but I didn't want to feel like an attraction in a circus and left.

The sun was slowly warming up but I paid it no attention.
Once I was back in the safety of my room, the quiet made all my memories rush forward, all of those thoughts and feelings that had compelled me to remain alive. It hurt, they all caused me pain; remembering long drives in the summer with the music blaring, joking with friends, hearing the ocean, swimming in it with Sean and then racing home to a home cooked meal prepared by my mother, the way Daryl would watch my every move when he thought I didn't know, remembering what it felt like to be safe. Feeling in my pocket I pulled out the piece of jasper, turning the green stone over before I shoved it back into my pocket angrily.
Moments like this I wish I was a walker, at least they had no memory of what they used to be and all the way things used to be.
At least that way I wouldn't remember Daryl.