I leave my room with a heavy heart with my arms tightly wrapped around my gray teddy bear that was a gift from Madison. I never had a toy bear as a child but I am quickly becoming attached to this one now. Of course, I have a good excuse. I am little messed up right now because of the way Kaitlyn betrayed me and ended our friendship. I don't know why, but this bear helps to heal some of the pain I am feeling. Maybe it is because it is a gift from a friend or maybe it is because it is a warm thing to hold onto. Whatever the reason, I might just squash it completely if I experience any other tragedies. Even though Ernie is helping me, part of me is starting to feel like a child.
When I leave my room, I find that my movement is constricted because someone has put his strong arm around my shoulders. I do not have to look at the person to know it is Chris.
"You okay?" Chris wondered.
"Yeah," I reply while trying to smile.
"You shouldn't lie," Chris objected. "You aren't good at it."
"That is what Becca keeps telling me," I answer.
"You have been spending a lot of time with her lately," Chris smugly pointed out.
"Well, she is my friend!" I snap.
"Sorry!" Chris quickly apologized. "I didn't mean it that way."
"No, I'm sorry!" I apologize back. "I didn't mean to yell at you."
"It's perfectly understandable," Chris reasoned. "Did Becca give you that bear?"
"No, she gave me this necklace," I explain while putting my right hand around it for a moment. I can almost feel like I am hugging Becca when I am touching the necklace.
"It looks nice on you," Abbie complimented me to try and uplift me from my rotten mood.
"Thanks," I reply while looking back at her. It somehow makes feel a little better to have someone compliment this necklace because Becca gave it to me. Maybe the crazy dream that I had was someone's way of sending me a message that was telling me that I should be dating Becca. Even if it was, I feel that it is going to be a long time before I trust people enough to date again. Still, I can't seem to get my mind off of Becca right now.
We walk down the stairs and enter the dining room where there seems to be a cold atmosphere around the place because no one quite knows what to say around me. I just wish someone would say something because I am starting to feel like an alien. There is a common rectangular table with a yellow tablecloth in the middle of the room. I sit on the left side and I put Ernie on the table next to me. I think of that spot as Ernie's because if I think of it as Kaitlyn's like it usually is, I think that I will start crying again. Abbie fixes a plate consisting of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and corn which she places in front of me while patting my shoulder. Abbie sits in between Tyler and Zack after getting her own food. Chris sits next to me.
"It's a nice day outside," Tyler says halfheartedly in an effort to make small talk which causes me to shoot him an annoyed look.
"Yes, it is," Chris agrees quietly after eating a bite of corn.
"So, who is our new suite mate?" Zack questions me to ease the tension a little.
"Ernie," I answer.
"How did he get here?" Zack prodded.
"Madison gave him to me," I explained.
"Make sure that he doesn't make a mess," Zack ordered as a joke.
"I'll try," I answer quietly.
"I haven't seen that necklace either," Tyler added.
"Becca gave it to me," I replied and I couldn't help but feel my lips curl up a little as I did.
The rest of the dinner consisted of a lot of small talk that I couldn't remember. The meal was a lot more bland than I was used to, but I knew that it wasn't the fault of the cook. It was because of my rotten mood. Incidentally, it had been my turn to cook, but the group skipped over me for obvious reasons. There are fewer things that can hinder the taste of food more than somebody crying into the pot.
Since dinner is over, it is time for me to collect my bear and go back to my room to catch up on some work. I am the first person out of the dining room and I wish I wasn't. Kaitlyn is blocking my path and she looks like a total stranger. It seems like she is blasting daggers from her eyes and into my soul. I can't believe I am saying this, but I fear that the girl who used to be my lover, my girlfriend, and my best friend wants to hurt me. I pass Ernie behind me to someone else so I can prepare myself for any trouble that might develop. I don't know why Kaitlyn has changed so much. Maybe she has suffered a mental breakdown. My friends behind me are asking me to get out of the doorway so they can help, but I cannot hear them.
If Kaitlyn thinks she is going to hurt me so easily this time, she is wrong. I haven't told any of my friends that I took several self defense classes throughout high school along with the softball I played. I didn't tell anyone because it was just a hobby. I am through letting Kaitlyn hurt me. I am through letting her make me cry. I am feeling a red hot ball of anger in the pit of my stomach. I assume a stance of readiness to show Kaitlyn I mean business, but it does not impress her.
"Move out of my way!" I demand with venom.
"No way, Jezebel!" Kaitlyn insulted me.
"Do you really think that I would have cheated on you outside where everyone could see me?" I ask bitterly.
"Maybe you would!" Kaitlyn argued.
"I never did anything to you!" I yelled as I fought to control anger.
"HA!" Kaitlyn laughed.
"Okay if you want to do this then that's fine with me, but I must warn you that I have taken several self defense classes!" I warned.
Kaitlyn answers me with no words. Instead, she answers me by trying to punch my face. I answer with a round house kick to the stomach that sends her back.
"STOP THIS NOW!" I yell out.
Kaitlyn does not stop and only gets madder. She charges at me with her hands outstretched. It looks like she is aiming for my neck. I do not want to know what she planning so fire a right cross to her chin. Kaitlyn's forward momentum adds force to my blow and her head snaps back which causes her to pass out on the floor. Only then am I able to move out of everyone's way.
"When do you learn that?" Zack blurted out in complete astonishment.
"High school," I choke out as my eyes start to get misty again. Abbie sees this and hands me my bear which I start to hug again.
"We know who to call if a burglar breaks in," Chris suggests in attempt to make me feel better. He of course does not.
"Someone should ask Kaitlyn's parents if she has some kind of medical problem that would make her do this," I order.
After a few minutes of quiet silence, I start to hear sirens because someone called the police during the fight. Kaitlyn wakes up just in time to witness the police putting the handcuffs on her. When they take her away after questioning the rest of us, I know that there is no possible hope for us to reconcile our friendship. This makes my eyes start to leak. By the time that I am halfway back up the stairs, a downpour is coming from my eyes again. I go into my room and sit on my bed in a stooped position. I find myself crying onto my bear. I wonder what I ever did to deserve this to happen to me. I start to wish that I had never come to this school, but again I stop myself from falling into that trap. I still have lots of friends left. Ten minutes after I sat on my bed, I hear a knock on my door. At first, I don't want to see anyone, but the person knocking on my door just knocks louder so I get up to answer it while still holding my bear. I drop my bear in shock when I see who was knocking because it was one of the last people I was expecting.
"Hi, Killer!" Becca greets me with her brightest smile.
