Chapter 9: Climbing God's Thumb

"You know, my great-grandpa almost died out here," Caveman said.

"Really?" Tweety and Zero asked.

"Yeah," Caveman replied. "But they say he survived 'cuz he made it to the top of God's Thumb."

They came up to the mountain and looked up at it.

"Ya'll ready?" Caveman asked them.

"It's a long way," Tweety said.

"Yeah," Caveman replied. "We better get up before dark."

"Yeah," Zero said.

They started up the mountain, constantly checking on Tweety making sure she was okay.

"Hey, Stanley," Zero said. "What d'ya think is up there?"

"Oh, I don't know," Caveman said. "Probably a great big Frosty-Freeze."

"Good," Zero said. "I could use a hot fudge sundae."

"Me too," Tweety said, from above them. "With nuts!"

"You know what I keep thinking about?" Caveman asked. "Imagine how fine this Mary Lou probably looked in a bikini."

"Ew," Tweety said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm imagining someone in a bikini," Zero said. "But it ain't Mary Lou."

Tweety blushed and kept climbing. Zero came up beside her and next was Caveman's turn. Zero looked down at Caveman.

"Don't look down, man," Zero said.

Caveman did exactly what Zero said not to do. Tweety shook her head and rolled her eyes. Typical. Caveman made a grab for where Tweety and Zero got up, but couldn't grasp it and almost fell. Tweety gasped.

"Whoa!" Zero said. "No, no, no, no! No."

Zero grabbed the shovel and hung it down with the wooden shaft towards Caveman. Caveman grabbed a hold of the shaft while Zero steadied the shovel by holding the blade. Caveman climbed up and sat beside Zero. Zero handed the shovel to Tweety.

"Look at that," Caveman said, looking down the side.

"Naw, look at this," Tweety said, showing Caveman Zero's hands.

"This isn't cool," Zero said.

"What happened?" Caveman asked and looked at Zero's hands.

Caveman ripped a cloth and started wrapping it around Zero's hands. Zero screamed.

"Is it numb or is it stinging?" Caveman asked.

"It stings, man," Zero said.

"Don't think about that right now," Caveman said. "When we get to the top of the mountain, I'm gonna get you a hot fudge sundae, all right? I promise."

"Good," Zero said. "All that Sploosh is getting to me."

"I know what you mean," Tweety said.

They got up and continued on. When they were making good progress, Caveman started giving Zero words. Ahead of them they heard Tweety cough and then throw up. She got up, spit, and kept going. Zero was using the shovel as a cane.

"Give me another word," Zero said.

"R-O-C-K," Caveman said.

"R-rock?" Zero said.

"Yeah," Caveman said. "You're doing good."

"Yeah," Tweety said, from beside Caveman.

"Just keep practicing," Caveman said.

Zero started coughing. He coughed harder, leaned over, and threw up. He started to roll down a hill and Caveman and Tweety ran after him. Caveman grabbed his arm and pulled his hair from a bush. Tweety sat behind them.

"Hold on," Caveman said. "Let me get in front of you."

He stepped over Zero and turned him to a laying position. Zero groaned. Tweety scooted closer to him.

"Stanley," Zero said, his eyes closed. "I gotta tell you something, man."

"What?" Caveman asked.

Zero didn't say anything. His head rolled to one side. Tweety's eyes grew wide and she looked from Zero to Caveman. Caveman patted Zero's chest.

"Huh?" Caveman asked. "C'mon, Zero."

Zero turned towards Tweety with a pained look on his face. He laid his head back, his mouth gaped open. He didn't move. Tweety looked at Caveman, nervously.

"Zero, Zero," Caveman said.

Zero didn't move. Tweety looked sadly at Zero. She looked at Caveman.

"All right, we can't sit here," Caveman said, picking Zero up. "We're gonna go get the shovel and fill it full of ice cream."

Tweety got up and grabbed the shovel. She stepped aside to let Caveman go around her. They continued on up the mountain. Tweety watched Zero the whole way up. She was worried about him because he didn't wake up or move at all. Caveman swatted at a gnat.

"Damn, bugs," he muttered.

"Bugs," Tweety whispered. "Bugs mean..."

"If there's bugs," Caveman said. "That must mean there's….water."

"Water!" Tweety screamed and ran by Caveman. Caveman ran down after her.

"Hector, wake up, man," he laughed. "Hector, wake up!"

Caveman laid Zero on a big stone and lightly smacked his face. Caveman laid in the cool water. He filled his hands with water and threw it on Zero.

"Hector, wake up," he said. "Wake up."

Zero jumped up and looked around. He stood up and stared amongst him in surprise.

"We made it!" Caveman cheered, picking Zero up.

"Stanley!" Zero cheered.

"Hector, we made it, buddy!" Caveman said, dropping Zero into the water.

Zero stood up. Tweety ran up to Zero and tackled him into the water.

"Hector!" she screamed when they fell in the water.

Zero smiled. Tweety leaned down and gave him a full kiss on the lips. She smiled at him. Zero's smile grew even wider. They looked at Caveman. He pulled something out of the ground and bit into it.

"What are you doing?" Zero asked.

"Here, try this," Caveman said, handing it to Zero. "Try this."

"What is it?" Zero asked, staring at it.

"It's a hot fudge sundae," Caveman said. "Just eat it."

Zero took a bite and passed it to Tweety. Tweety took a bite and passed it back to Caveman.

"It's good, huh?" Caveman asked.

"Yeah," Tweety said.

"That's the sweetest onion I ever tasted," Zero said.

Caveman took another bite of the onion and laid back in the water. He began to softly sing.

"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,

The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies

As the wolf waits below hungry and lonely,

Cries to the moon, "If only, if only.""

Zero stared up at the sky. Tweety scooted closer to him and grabbed his hand. Zero laid on the ground beside the rock and Tweety laid beside him, with her head on his chest. Caveman began to sing again.

"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs…"


R&R ppl.