dove in love: I updated AGAIN! haha. and i'm still waiting on yours. You have me very excited for it. Oh and the Best Years is a story I had worked on last year. It takes place when Alex and Casey are all grown up.

JeffHardy724: Red states suck sometimes. :(


Alex's POV

My daughter's lungs aren't fully developed so she isn't able to breathe on her own. Her tiny little body is hooked up to so many tubes, including a feeding tube. I'm not even able to breast-feed her. Instead, I have to use a breast pump, which would have been a daunting task had Charlene not shown me how to use it. The milk that is pumped is later put through the feeding tubes for Kylie instead of me actually being able to hold her and feed her myself. In fact, I'm not even allowed to hold her at all because of the dangers due to her low birth weight. After I saw how small Kylie was, I asked Charlene about birth weight. She said the average ranges from 6 to 8 pounds. Casey was a perfect 7 pounds 8 ounces. Kylie is nowhere near that. She is only 3 pounds 5 ounces.

One of the doctors in the NICU told me Kylie will probably have to be hospitalized for three or four weeks, but hearing that was like a dream come true. Three or four weeks? Kylie was originally not expected to make it through her first night. I plan on being right by her side that whole time. Even though I can't hold her, I know there are other ways I can bond with my daughter. I talked to her a lot the first time I saw her. Most of what I said made absolutely no sense, but I want her to get to know her mommy's voice. I was also able to touch her tiny hands and arms. She is wearing a hospital bracelet that says Baby Novak and her date of birth: October 29, 2007. I wish Casey could be here. I know she'd get a kick out of seeing her family name attached to Kylie as well as hearing the staff in the NICU call me Mrs. Novak.

This whole situation has been so hard on Casey and what makes everything worse is the fact that she can't even see Kylie yet. Sure, she had no part in her conception, but Casey has been there for me throughout my entire pregnancy. I probably wouldn't even have gone through with any of this if not for my wife and her constant love and reassurance. We may be a teenage, lesbian couple, but that doesn't mean that our love for each other is any less valid. It hurts Casey to know that she can't see Kylie because of our "non-traditional" marriage that isn't even recognized over here. Kylie is her daughter and we're going to raise her together, regardless of what people may say. I love Casey with all my heart and I'm going to show my love for her every chance I get. I'm going to kiss her and hug her. I'm going to hold her hand in public.

She needs to know that we're in this together and I consider her to be just as much of a mother to Kylie as I am.

There is a reason Kylie is this way and it mostly has to do with my age. Placental abruption is more common in mothers under 20 and over 35. Ever since Casey and I became a couple we have been talking about having children someday, but that meant sometime after our undergrad years, not when we were sophomores. We wanted to wait until we were 29 or 30. That way we would both be settled into our careers and we would have also had plenty of time to establish a strong foundation for our marriage. We would have had time to travel together, get a place together, as well as actually plan for a baby. But life doesn't always turn out the way people expect it to, and that is certainly how it has been since the start of my relationship with Casey. Casey and Kylie are my life and I wouldn't have it any other way.