DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GG. IF I DID, I WOULD'VE REFUSED TO LET IT BECOME A DAYTIME SOAP.
Author's notes: Okay. It's drabble-ish. But this short piece actually captured what I wanted for this chappie, for this 3w8L combo. Funny, cause I finished this before I finished chapter 5.
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Three Words, Eight Letters: I am sorry
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kowareru hodo aishitemo sanbun no ichi mo tsutawaranai
junjou na kanjou wa karamawari I love you sae ienaideiru my heart
/Even if my love reaches the breaking point, 1/3 of it won't reach
My true feelings are just spinning on air, my heart isn't even saying "I love you..."/
-1/3 no Junjou na Kanjou [1/3 true Feelings] sung by Siam Shade (Rurouni Kenshin 6th ED)
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Chuck is in the bar, helping himself to a whole bottle of scotch. A few girls have come up to him, trying to engage him in conversation, but he flat out ignored them. He never even spared a side glance at them whenever he shrugged off their attempts to physically connect with him, like they were flies bugging him and he was swatting them away.
Emptying the last drop of the scotch on his glass, he drank it in one gulp.
Perhaps it was the lack of anything to occupy him given that he couldn't pilfer another bottle of alcohol from the bar that made him reach for his phone. His eyelids were drooping, and his eyesight was hazy, but he could clearly read her name as he scrolled down his contacts, and hit the call button.
The phone rang and rang, and Chuck rested his head on his free arm, not loosening his grip on the phone next to his ear. Then the ring was cut, indicating that the call was picked up, but neither Chuck nor Blair spoke.
Just hearing her breathe on the other end made Chuck feel just a bit more calm, and he thought he could catch sleep with beautiful dreams and wake up the next morning without regretting the hangover.
"Why'd you call?" Blair finally spoke, her voice soft and resigned.
Chuck's throat worked to vocalize his one thought at the moment. "I am sorry."
A pause. "Is that it?"
"I am sorry."
He hears her take a deep breath, but recognizes the prolonged sniffle-in-disguise and he mentally apologizes for making her cry. Again. Why was it that all he could do these days was hurt her when before, he could always comfort her?
"Not exactly the three words, eight letters I wanted to hear and you know that." She retorted after a few seconds of silence.
"I am sorry. I really am."
"You know what Chuck?" It's evident now in the strain of her voice that the tears are about to fall. "You're drunk. Go to sleep. You probably won't even remember this tomorrow. I'm calling Eric."
The click is like a jab and the dial tone is like the pain that lingers. He wonders if she really is that far away as he feels she is. And though he can barely remember Eric dragging him from the bar to his room in the Rhodes summer house, the call is so vivid in his memory despite the hangover. But even more so, he can still hear the echoes of the dial tone and the pain in his heart that can't even utter those words.
All he can do now is apologize to her. For being the way he is, for not being worthy enough, For hurting her, for deserting her, for being scared... the list of regrets he never ran out of items to add. But his mind was too heavy, and the only words he could utter clearly were:
'I am sorry. I really am.'
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dore dake kimi wo aishitara kono omoi todoku no darou
mitsumerareru to ienai kotoba ga chuu ni mau
hanarereba hanareru hodo itoshii hito da to kizuku
motomereba motomeru hodo ni setsunai kyori wo kanjiteru my heart
/Whoever you love, these images will reach them, right?
Don't say you can find them, your words are dancing in space.
The further apart you go, the more it hurts the person you love
The more I chase them, the more my heart feels the cruel distance.../
-1/3 no Junjou na Kanjou [1/3 true Feelings] sung by Siam Shade (Rurouni Kenshin 6th ED)
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A/n: I don't know if you people got it, but this happens after Blair goes off with Marcus when Chuck can't tell her the 3w8L she demanded. After the White Party, when we see Chuck in the bar drinking.
Still frustrated over Chair! I'm set on not watching s04 because I hear they're revamping Chuck Bass because of a bullethole, and along that change is a stupid, stupid girlfriend! It's official: CHUCK BASS IS DEAD! I would've let the lame cop out go if it propelled him to fight for Blair! But no, the shitty writers have to give him a girlfriend instantaneously when we had to suffer 2 FRIGGIN YEARS to get them together, only to have them ripped apart quickly! MOTHERFUDGING WRITERS! The inanity of these writers are making me want to strangle myself! ARGH!
