A/N: Finals are coming up! Ah! Hopefully my writing career won't be delayed because of it. Well- who cares anyway?

I hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I am! I'm really getting into writing it, and the plot seems to be filling out nicely. Before, I had some major plot holes that I wasn't sure how to fill in... but as I wrote it I was able to cover them. I guess I'm just a go-with-the-flow kind of writer. Hopefully that won't backfire on me somehow!

Oh by the way, I time skipped again. But this time it's only been a couple of weeks.

[{Chapter 9}]

ROX-S woke to the sun playing across his eyelids, disturbing his sensitive eyes and stirring him awake. He stretched and yawned, reluctantly throwing the covers off himself. He stood up, and walked down the hallway into the bathroom. He flicked on the light, and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

'...Why do I wake up every morning...?' ROX-S thought, 'Why does it matter that I'm here?'

He searched his thoughts for the answer, but felt a straining sensation and didn't want to continue. He shouldn't think thoughts like that... he would only make himself worry. He would only become more confused.

"ROX-S, come downstairs!" Axel called.

"Just a minute!" ROX-S called back.

Slowly, he reached out to the mirror, wanting to touch the reflection. His delicate fingers skimmed the smoothness of the glass, tracing the shape of his own face; his nose, his eyes, his lips. Were they all lies? ROX-S knew he wasn't human... but was it possible for him to ever be? Would he ever be like Axel? He touched his own face, feeling the soft skin. Even though he looked, talked, and thought like a human... he would never truly be one. He felt like there was something missing; and some part of him was aching for it's presence... it's warmth. But, what was it?

He quickly shook off the melancholy aching he had in his chest. There was no room for those kinds of thoughts. He wasn't supposed to think stuff like that. But... he still longed to know.

Maybe it was... his nature?

(xXx)

ROX-S was quiet during breakfast. He tried to respond as little as possible to Axel's questions, not wanting to think about anything else. He just wanted to drown himself in his own thoughts; immerse himself in his own philosophy. But that wasn't possible was it? Not for someone like him... maybe his thoughts weren't even real. Was he just programmed to think this way? Either way, it was an endless paradox. Axel had taught him complicated theories before... and they made sense. But somehow, he couldn't piece together the puzzle of his own mind.

"ROX-S? You're awfully quiet... what's the matter?" Axel broke his thoughts.

ROX-S hesitated to answer, not quite sure how to respond. "...Axel?"

"Yes?"

"... Why do I exist?"

Axel seemed taken aback at the sudden question. "What do you mean?"

ROX-S became irritated. Wasn't it a simple enough question? All he wanted was answers! But, he was being irrational... he just needed to rephrase it... "I mean, why did you create me? Why did you bring me in this world just to be controlled by programming?" The android started to become angry, "Why am I here, doing nothing? Accomplishing nothing? What's the whole point!?" He was standing now, clenching his fists.

"ROX-S! Calm down!" Axel stood up, looking him in the eye. "You're over-thinking things... just take it easy. You'll pass out if you keep that up."

"Why!? Because I'm just a robot? I can't think too much or I'll overheat?" He was becoming furious.

"No! ROX-S... that's not what I meant. You know that."

"Well then what do you mean!? What does... what does any of this... mean..." Suddenly, ROX-S felt blurry tinges of black crawl into his peripheral vision; slowly - insidiously - consuming his sight until he felt himself falling into nothingness.

(xXx)

"...ROX-S...?"

...

"ROX-S...?"

ROX-S heard the faint murmuring of his name, disconnected and wavering. Like he was underwater.

Then, it pulled him out of the fuzzy blackness, becoming a tangible voice. Axel's voice.

"ROX-S?"

ROX-S stirred awake, slightly groaning at the shooting pain in his head. Bright lights momentarily blinded him; creating a contrasting waking world. But soon, everything came into focus.

Axel was sitting next to him on his bed, gently shaking him and calling his name. "Oh good... you're finally up. You'd been out for a while, and I wanted to see if I could to re-stimulate you're processors and try and wake you up. Guess it worked." Axel slightly grinned. "So how are you feeling?"

ROX-S sat up and shook his head, clearing the last of the fuzziness. "...Fine..."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling good you need to tell me..."

"Yes... I'm sure that I'm fine. I just... I got a little too worked up. I'm sorry..." ROX-S said, looking into Axel's eyes - sincerely trying to apologize. He must have been worried...

"Okay. I believe you." Axel said quietly, then looked away. Not at anything in particular, just anything but ROX-S's eyes. "Y'know... it's kinda my fault too. I should have explained more things to you, instead of having you try and figure everything out on your own."

ROX-S was silent. He wasn't sure if Axel was apologizing, or justifying his own actions. So he just slowly nodded. "It's fine. ...I just... want to know one thing..." He paused, "Are my own thoughts real? Or are they determined by programming too?"

Axel took a long pause, obviously thinking about how to answer. "Well, you see... that's really a technical thing. It's both a yes and and a no. Your programming is special - advanced. It is adaptable, and can apply everything you ever learned to future tasks or problems. So if you make a mistake, you can learn from it. Now, that's not really that advanced; but you... you ROX-S... can REASON. That's a completely new innovation in the world of science, and *ahem*, " he mumbled, "No small feat I mind you," then continued, "Since you can reason, and think about ethical problems, you create for yourself a new set of programs. You write your OWN program, ROX-S. You're the holder of your own destiny. And not only can you learn, you can comprehend." Axel smiled. "Does that make sense?"

ROX-S was silent again, trying to make sense of what Axel was saying. So his thoughts were his own after all? And he was... advanced? How so? Did that make him any more human?

"I understand." ROX-S said quietly.

"See? There ya go! A normal android never would have been able to understand that. You're the most human. Ever. You're the closest science has ever come to creating an artificial brain. You're-"

"I'm still not HUMAN though..." ROX-S interrupted.

Axel paused. "...See... humans are funny things. We always want what we can't have, and even when we have it- we're still not happy. The only thing we would be satisfied with is perfection, which is unachievable by human standards. But ROX-S, you have the potential to be flawless. You could be the ultimate. You don't want to be a human..."

"But I do! I don't want to be perfect... then what would be the point if existing? I wouldn't be able to make mistakes or learn from them... or grow or even enjoy life. I'd be bored!"

Axel sighed. "I'm afraid you're already on that path..."

ROX-S stared at him in confusion. What did he mean? "So... so you already knew this would happen?" ROX-S asked, flustered.

"No... I had no idea how quickly you would learn or adapt. I'm just going with the flow." Axel smirked.

ROX-S felt himself becoming light-headed again. "A-Axel... I don't feel good..."

Axel's expression changed to one of concern, and he put an affirming hand on ROX-S's leg. "Just lay down... don't think about it too much. In fact... don't think about it at all. You shouldn't worry about things like this... I shouldn't have said anything."

Axel suddenly fixed his gaze on ROX-S's face... he was intent. About what, ROX-S wasn't sure.

Axel just confused him. ROX-S couldn't figure the red-head out... his motives. His desires. He was just too mysterious of a character - and hardly talked about himself. It was hard to guess what he would do next, making him somewhat sporadic.

He wasn't sure how he felt towards Axel, but he got a strange feeling whenever he was around him; a tingling, knotting feeling in his stomach. Not nervousness, nor even anxiety. Maybe... excitement? Was that what this was? Axel was indeed a spur-of-the-moment guy... making him a little reckless... and even a little dangerous. Maybe that was why ROX-S felt a wave of adrenaline course through him every time he was around him. Or maybe it was because of that one time... that one time Axel had kissed him. In the moment, he had felt warm and complete - and forgot every troubling thought he ever had. He had felt... secure. But he had also felt something else; a hunger. A deep need. A longing to feel innermost pleasure. But he couldn't quite figure out what that was... All he knew was that he wanted to be around Axel... to let himself become lost and drown out his worries. He just wanted to forget...

forget everything...

"Axel..." ROX-S leaned in close, the tiniest space between their faces. He whispered, "Axel... I want to feel complete... like a real human. I want to forget my worries... please... help me forget."

Axel's eyes flickered with some sort of emotion, ROX-S wasn't sure what.

"ROX-S... I... I-I...

I can't."

The android felt a sharp pang, like a knife in his chest. "...What?"

Axel gently pushed ROX-S away, the emotion growing in his emerald eyes. "I can't kiss you."

"But... but why...?" ROX-S felt something heavy overwhelming his body, something he had never experienced before. When Axel was silent he yelled, "...Why not!?"

Axel flinched, the emotion now seeming to almost overflow his eyes. "Because ROX-S... it's not right. I can't be with you- you're... you're..."

"What!? I'm what!?" ROX-S snapped, his own mysterious emotion threatening to bubble over.

"... As close to human as you may be... you're not one. That's just how it is. And I don't think becoming romantic is a good idea for either of us... it'll just be a heavier burden in the end. Especially for you... and I don't want to hurt you ROX-S..." Axel reached out a hand, wanting to caress the blonde's face - to comfort him.

But ROX-S broke. His emotion spilled over the edge. He couldn't take it. He slapped Axel's hand away and hissed, "Don't touch me!" His anger rose, "Now look here- I have emotions and feelings and thoughts, and I'm EVERY BIT as human as you are. The only thing I lack is a skeletal structure, and internal organs. But trivial things like that don't matter! THAT'S not what makes you human! It's...it's..." He couldn't find the right words. ROX-S himself didn't even know what he was missing.

He slumped down... exhausted and defeated. He didn't know what to say. He just... he just wanted to sleep.

"Shhh..." Axel soothed, rubbing ROX-S's back, "It's going to be okay..."

With all his might, ROX-S wanted to yell and scream at Axel, hit and kick him. But he was so tired.

He was so...

Sad.

That was the emotion.

ROX-S then wished - more than anything - to return to his state of innocence, when the world was fresh and new and exciting... and he wasn't filled with so much sadness.

A/N: Okay... now THIS is the longest chapter I've written.

WHEW!

I decided to dabble a little inside ROX-S's head... you were probably all wondering what was going on in there, haha. As you can tell- he's significantly grown since he was 'born'... and I hope you were able to infer that Axel is like his tutor.

Anyway- I really wanted to touch on human ethics in this chapter- as both ROX-S and Axel have to contemplate them. I hope you see where I'm coming from... this is all my philosophy, hooray! My intelligence finally shows itself!

But seriously, I've done some plenty good thinking about the meaning of existence, and what it means to be a human... all that stuff. Hopefully I don't sound like I'm talking in crazy psycho-babble.

Eh.

Death-chan, out.