Chapter 9: Forging the Links
Ennis Del Mar was a nervous wreck. For over a week he had done nothing but think about this day. He had never, and probably would never admit it to Jack, but deep in the dark recesses of his heart, in a place where only he had ever tread, Ennis had wanted this from the very first time he and Jack had kissed. Sometimes, late at night while he was lying in his bed, he allowed himself to fantasize what life would be like if he and Jack lived together... how amazing it would be to wake up every morning to Jack's smile...to fall asleep every night holding each other... making love in a real house...in a real bed, a bed that was theirs...having that sweet life. He had always berated himself for what he considered to be dangerous fantasies and the fact that he was finally getting what he had secretly longed for, adamantly refused to admit that he wanted, and cruelly denied both Jack and himself for so many years, scared him half to death.
He'd gone to the pay phone at least 10 times, intent on calling Jack and calling the whole thing off. However, each time he had started dialing the phone, the pain in the pit of his stomach… that same pain that he felt 20 years ago when Jack drove away from him… that same pain that he felt in his gut last November when he thought he might lose Jack forever…that wordless shrieking pain that threatened to engulf him... that ripped through him and left him feeling sick and helpless... came crashing in and he hung up the phone. He couldn't do it... not to Jack... not again, but even more so then that, he couldn't do it to himself!
The fact of the matter was, in the last 6 months, Ennis had finally been forced to admit to himself just how much Jack Twist meant to him. Ennis had missed Jack horribly during that time, in some ways even more then he had during the previous 16 years. Somehow, being in touch with Jack, and knowing exactly what he was doing while they were apart was even more torturous then not knowing anything at all. During those long lonely years, Ennis had worked hard at keeping thoughts of Jack to a minimum, and the fact that they had no contact between trips had made that easier... easier to not think about him so much, and easier not to admit how much he loved and needed that man. Now that he was talking to, writing to and getting letters from Jack regular, he found it impossible not to think and dream about Jack, and even more impossible to deny his feelings for him.
The nights that he talked to Jack, he went to bed filled with Jack. In his head... Jack's laughter, the soft vibrating timber of his whispered 'I love you's' and 'miss ya so bad's'...rang in his ears. Behind his closed his eyes... visions of Jack, his beautiful face, soft unruly black hair, blue eyes full of love or dark and smoky with passion... danced before him. His body...singing with the memory of touching Jack, his skin hot and smooth against his, under him, over him, around him, inside him... making him tingle from head to toe.
He lay there in the dark, the memories bringing that intense need and longing for Jack on him so strong and throbbing through him so hot and fierce, that some nights he couldn't keep back the tears that threatened to fall, and even after seeking relief from it by his own hand, the need still coursed through him, keeping him awake most of the night.
Now, finally, those 6 tortuous months were over, and Ennis was more excited and nervous then he remembered being for a very long time. The last time being that day 16 years ago when he waited in he and Alma's apartment for Jack to arrive, at last, after 4 long years of being apart.
Now, just as it had been then, the waiting was unbearable. He looked at the clock again and cursed. He couldn't sit still, so he paced, back and forth, back and forth in his trailer. As he paced he went over Jack's last letter again in his head.
Ennis,
I'll be comin' to pick ya up on May 28. Pack what you wanna take, but don' worry bout furniture an stuff like that. Get rid'a that pile a junk truck a yers, ya won't be needin' it. Tell ya why when I get there. See ya soon, Love and miss ya, Jack
"What is that man up ta this time?" Ennis thought as he continued to pace.
Suddenly, he jumped when he heard a vehicle pulling into the drive. Practically galloping, he raced to the door and flung it open. Getting out of his truck, was Ennis' landlord. Ennis felt his heart sink and tried to make his pulse slow before the man reached the door. "Get 'hold of yerself, Del Mar!" "Mr. Tate," Ennis said in way of greeting and tipped his hat.
"Ennis," Tate replied, "see yer all packed."
"Yes, sir." Ennis said and glanced quickly around the trailer.
"Thought I'd come by, get the keys, check the place out and see if I need to give ya yer security deposit back."
"Oh… sure 'nough," Ennis said and stepped out of the way to let him through.
The trailer was actually in a lot better condition then it had been when Ennis moved in. He had fixed the roof, rebuilt the plumbing system, and tightened up most of the windows. As Tate walked through the trailer, Ennis tried to remember what it had looked like when he rented it.
Ennis jumped when he heard another engine coming up the street, and a truck he did not recognize pulled into the driveway. Looking out the window, Ennis watched it pull in, and then sit there for a moment, the driver not getting out. Then the truck door opened, and Jack climbed down from the cab. In his hand, he held a slip of paper, and he glanced from the mailbox to the paper twice. Satisfied that he had the right place, Jack started up the stairs.
Ennis stood in the kitchen, his heart pounding a mile a minute. Every part of him wanted to race to the door, grab Jack, kiss him senseless, throw him to the ground and…then he remembered the man in the other room and took a deep breath. For several minutes, he just stood there watching Jack through the window and fighting to control himself.
Jack knocked on the door, and then stood back, looking at the trailer, and waiting on the top step, shuffling his feet and looking at the door. Glancing along the length of the trailer, Jack frowned, making his forehead crinkle as he pushed his hat back and scratched his head. He glanced at the slip of paper in his hand one more time, then turned and looked back down the road.
Finally, unable to make himself stand still any longer, Ennis, forcing himself to walk when all he really wanted to do was sprint, went to the door, took another deep breath, and opened it.
There he was… Jack Fuckin' Twist… standing there on the doorstep smiling like an idiot, those damnable eyes of his shining blue like the summer sky and boring into his very soul, doing the same thing they had done to him 20 years ago in a tent on the side of Brokeback Mountain… and Ennis thought "Fuck it!" and lunged.
Wrapping his arms around Jack and bringing their mouths together in one swoop Ennis kissed Jack as though he thought it was the last time he ever might. The kiss was brief, mere seconds, but it contained every bit of pent up feeling and longing that Ennis had felt since November.
Quickly as it began, Ennis wretched himself away, ending the kiss and practically jumping away to put distance between them. They stood there, staring at each other, both men's faces flushed and neither breathing normally. Taking a deep steadying breath, Jack, his eyes bright, chuckled and said, in a voice laced with amusement, "Hey there, Ennis… glad to see me?"
Ennis made a sort of frustrated moaning, growling sound deep in his throat, and motioned toward the back of the trailer. "Landlord", he choked out, and Jack had to bite back a laugh as Ennis struggled to hide the very obvious evidence of just how glad he was to see him.
Just then, Tate walked out from the back room and into the kitchen. Ennis stepped further into the trailer, and Jack came in behind him.
Suddenly, Ennis flashed back to a very similar and equally awkward scene 16 years earlier, the day Jack had come to see him after 4 years of being apart. Ennis had reacted on gut instinct then as well, and they had kissed, in much the same manner as a few minutes ago, and then Ennis had had to introduce Jack to Alma. They stood in the entryway this same way, slightly disheveled, trying hard to act normal while desperately trying to conceal their obviously flushed appearance and equally obvious arousal.
"Oh, there you are," Tate said, his voice hard as he looked from one man to the other. "stay calm and get the fuck outta here… "
Ennis felt his face heating up, and fought desperately not to let his discomfort and nervousness show. "He knows… he must've seen... fuck... shoulda been more car'ful."
"Nice to meet you, sir," Jack said suddenly, and reached his hand out to shake, "Jack Twist."
Tate cleared his throat loudly, ignored Jack completely and turned to Ennis.
"Well, Del Mar," the landlord said, "I guess ya took alright care'a the place. I think I'll give ya back $200 of yer deposit. That sound fair?"
"God damn well better… best consider yerself lucky to get that…"
Ennis opened his mouth to protest. The deposit had been $500, equal to first and last months rent, and regardless of what the man might have seen and might be thinking, Ennis felt that he deserved to get it all back. Just as he was about to say so, Jack, who had noticed Tate's demeanor and could pretty well guess as to the meaning behind it, cut in and said, "Sounds fair to me, Ennis."
Ennis gave him a look to kill, but nodded, and accepted the four $50 bills that the landlord handed to him. As Tate walked away, Ennis heard him thinking,
"Never woulda pegged him as that type… just doesn't seem like a faggot… damn… gotta be more careful who I rent ta... damn good thin' for him I didn' find out sooner... woulda kicked his queer ass out so fast...!"
Ennis waited until he had climbed back into his truck and driven away before turning to Jack and saying, "Next time stay outta it… coulda handled him... and gotten all my money back too," taking his hat off, Ennis wiped his brow with his sleeve and added, "shit!"
"…I just wanted to help…"
"I was jus' tryin' to get ridda the man… I didn't wanna get into a big row with 'em… and the looks he was giving us…" Jack shook his head and grimaced, "that's all I was tryin' to do, Ennis." Jack said, looking at his boots and kicking at a rock.
"You think he saw us?" Ennis asked his voice low and tense as fear replaced his anger.
"Seems like…but who cares…let's jus' get outta here… got a long drive to Fort Collins, and I wanna get there 'fore it get's dark…" Jack was still looking down, and it was obvious he was hurt by Ennis' anger.
"Damn", Ennis muttered, and touched Jack's arm. "Listen, Bud, I'm sorry I yelled at ya, its jus' we are gonna need money an… what the fuck are ya laughin' at, Jack?" Ennis just stared at Jack, who was suddenly laughing so hard that his face was turning purple.
"Ennis… almost forgot… don' know…" Jack sputtered and fell into another fit of laughter. Unable to compose himself enough to speak, Jack reached into his shirt pocket and brought out a little blue bank book. He handed the book to Ennis and then collapsed against his truck in another fit of laughter.
"Oh shut up, ya damn fool…" Ennis muttered and opened the book. Sucking in his breath, Ennis' eyes scanned the figures written on the paper in Jack's neat handwriting.
"Holy Fuckin' Hell… Jack… what is this?" Ennis finally managed to choke out. His eyes were big as saucers and his face had lost all color.
Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, Jack took the book back and pointed at the zeros on the paper as he spoke, "That, Mr. Del Mar, is our checking account. This is what's left ov'r from my divorce settlement. There woulda been more but we had lotsa bills we needed to pay. Plus, I bought a few things we'll be needin', and I've been renting that room in Amarillo since March so I had to use some fer that."
He paused for a second to wipe his face again and then continued, "I had no idea we was doin' so well to tell ya the truth, Lureen always handled the books, and the way she went at it sometimes, I thought we was on our way to the poorhouse. Guess that weren' the case though, cause my half'a the divorce settlement was quite a bit. Then, Lureen sold the house and got remarried 'bout 3 weeks ago. The house went fer a pretty penny and half of it went to me. Plus a little "gift" from one Mr. L.D. Newsome to ensure that I don' nev'r come back to Texas!"
"But… Jack… that there says ya got more'n $300,000 in yer account… that ain't possible… ain't nobody I know ev'r had that kinda money…" Ennis face was pale, and a vein on his forehead was pulsing.
"Whoa" Jack said, and put his arm around Ennis' back, "calm down, Cowboy. First off, look at the front page… see, both our names are on this account…this is 'our' money… not mine, we can..."
"No, Jack… that ain't my money… no… I got me $200 in my pocket and another $600 in a pair of socks in that there bag… that's my money… what's in that account is yers!" Ennis said, pulling out from under Jack's arm and stepping back, his jaw set in that stubborn way he had that said, 'ain't arguing bout it!'
"Damn you, Ennis… no way… I ain't givin' in this time… I stood up to L.D. Newsome, and I ain't gonna let the likes of Ennis Del Mar best me neither!"
"Now you jus' hold it a minute there, Ennis!" Jack said, stomping a few steps away and turning to point his finger at Ennis. "I said this here is 'our' money and I meant it. I waited 20 fuckin' years for you ta wake up and realize we oughta be together, an now I finally got what I wanted an you ain't gonna ruin it for us 'fore we even get started… I won't let ya, Ennis… we earn'd the right to every penny of this money, everyday we spent apart fer the last 20 years!" Jack didn't raise his voice, but his glare and the redness of his face got the message across just the same.
"This means a lot to ya, don't it, Bud?" Ennis asked his voice low. Jack's anger scared him as much as surprised him. Jack almost never got angry like this, and it was a force to be reckoned with when he did. He meant business.
"Damn right it does… and I ain't backin' down on it neither! The money in this account is ours, that truck right there is ours… the one just like it that is parked in Fort Collins, Colorado is ours, and the house it's parked in front of is ours too… that means they belong to 'both of us' and jus' you see to it that you don' forget that!"
"Ok, Bud..." Ennis said and held up his hands to show his retreat, "sorry, I won' forget."
"Good" Jack said, smiling again.
Ennis thought for a second and then he said, "House… didya say ya bought a house?" his voice was incredulous and just a little bit accusatory.
"Well… not quite yet…" Jack said a bit sheepishly, "the check's been written, but they still need us ta sign the papers… an well… I coulda signed 'em and then had ya sign when we got there… but I figured I'd wait fer you to be there, so we can sign em together… ya know." His face colored at this, and Ennis couldn't help but smile at his 'romantic' thinking.
"We got a appointment at the real estate place tomorrow afternoon. That's parta why I wanna get on out of here. I wanna show ya the house 'fore it gets dark."
Ennis looked at Jack's face and saw the excitement returning. Suddenly, he realized that he wanted to go see this house that had Jack so excited, "Well, what the hell are we doin' standin' 'round jawing fer… let's get a move on!"
They quickly loaded the few things that Ennis had decided to take along, mostly clothes and some pictures from when the girls were babies, into the back of the truck, and then Jack backed it around so Ennis could hitch up the horse trailer.
Once the horses were all settled, Ennis came around and hopped into the truck. As they were driving away, Ennis looked at Jack and said, "So lemme get this straight, you stood up ta L.D. Newsome?"
"How the hell…?"
"Did I tell ya that," He asked, his voice confused.
"Must have, Bud."
"Well… ok then…"
Jack's voice got all excited, and he looked for all the world like a kid on Christmas morning when he said, "I stood up to L.D. Newsome… oh, Ennis… ya shoulda seen his face…!"
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They made good time through Wyoming. As they he drove along, Jack filled him in on everything that had happened in Childress. They both had a good laugh over he and Lureen both meaning to ask each other for a divorce during the same meal. Jack told Ennis in detail all about the room he had been renting in Amarillo since the divorce papers were filed. "Lureen said I could stay at the house… but I figur'd since I had cashed L.D.'s check, I oughta make myself scarce."
Then Ennis told all about his talk with Alma. "I think we finally buri'd the hatchet, seems she didn't realize I..." Ennis paused and swallowed hard before he added, "I been in love with ya all these years." Ennis colored and looked out the window when he said this, but he saw Jack's reflection in the window, and the pleased smile that flickered across his lips before Ennis turned back to him.
Ennis also told Jack about the day he'd quit his job and the disastrous meeting he'd had with O'Grady, in which he had called Ennis a lazy ass good for nothin', and had ended with Ennis holding his fist as he walked away, and O'Grady lying on the floor holding his mouth. Jack laughed and said he remembered Ennis' right hook well.
"I ain't told the girls yet," Ennis said uneasily, "don' know how ta jus' yet."
Jack nodded his understanding, knowing how hard it would be to tell Bobby when the time came.
Jack continued driving until he couldn't stay awake any more, and then Ennis took over. He had never driven anything but old junkers before, and this was a new experience for him… not an entirely unpleasant one either.
Following the map that Jack had marked, Ennis drove down Highway 25. He could see from the map that he just had to stay on 25 and it would take him all the way into Fort Collins. Settling back, he drove fast along the nearly deserted highway, and thought about what the house looked like and what the future might hold for them.
As he thought about it, he went over the scene with Tate in his head. Somehow, Tate had caught on to he and Jack's relationship. Ennis could only surmise that he must have seen their brief but intense kiss. "He knew… and he thought kinda harsh on us… but no violent thoughts. Ma'be Jack has been right all these years and I have been lettin' fear keep me from bein' happy. I ain't gonna let my guard down… but ma'be there really ain't so many guys with tire irons out there after all..." He saw the first signs for Fort Collins around 4 p.m, and decided that he oughta wake Jack up. Shaking his arm lightly, Ennis had to laugh when Jack smacked his lips, making a kissing sound and said, "Oh, Ennis… sorry, babe... wish I could… tired now… ma'be later…" and began snoring. Ennis jumped a bit at hearing Jack call him "babe", even in his sleep. However, as he thought about it for a bit he decided that he rather liked it, "Ain't no diff'rent th'n me callin' him darlin'" he thought and smiled fondly. When Jack shifted in the seat, his head falling to Ennis' shoulder, and moaned something that sounded suspiciously like Ennis' name, Ennis felt a little coil of heat in his belly and thought, "Don' even needta guess what he's dreamin' bout".
Deciding that he would wait until they actually got to Fort Collins before he woke him Ennis reached over, gently took Jack's hat off and pulled him down until his head was resting on his leg. Smiling, Ennis gently ran his fingers through Jack's tousled hair and whispered, "Yup… mighty glad ta see ya, Darlin'."
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The property was located just outside of town. The house itself was a two-story log cabin style with a wide, sweeping front porch that wrapped around the front and western side of the house, at first sight the house was framed by the mountains in the distance.
Running along the front of the property was a white post fence. To the left of the long driveway, was a large red barn. To the right a lazy stream gurgled and wound its way along the length of the driveway. The stream was wide and lazy as it neared the house, and narrowed slightly where a little bridge crossed over a small open area with a gazebo. The creek widened just after the bridge, creating a small pond area before narrowing back out and running under a fence and through the pasture area situated behind the house. In that wide pond, area was a small dock, with a rowboat tied up to it. In the distance, several miles away, was a barely visible line of trees at the foot of an incline that was the beginning of the mountain slope.
Ennis stood in front of the house very unaware that his mouth was curled into a very wide smile. Jack however could not take his eyes off Ennis.
"Do you like it?" He asked his voice a bit uncertain.
"I don't know what to say, Jack… it's really… sumthin'." Ennis replied, turning to look at Jack and seeing the pride in his eyes.
"I ain't never lived anywhere so fancy before." Ennis said his voice a bit wistful and sad, and Jack guessed that he was thinking about his girls and how he would have liked to give them a place like this to grow up in.
"Can we go in?" Ennis asked, straightening up and Jack smiled at the thinly disguised eagerness in his voice.
"Sure… they gave me the key, I jus' had to promise we wouldn' move in til' the papers're signed." Jack dug around in his jacket pocket and came out with a ring of keys.
"There's two copies of each key here. One for eacha the buildings, and two for doors in the house," Jack explained as he led the way up the steps to the front door.
The inside of the house was as breathtaking as the outside. When they stepped through the front door, they entered the living room. The room was large with a cathedral ceiling and was paneled in rich oak; the floors and ceiling were of the same wood. The room was bright with natural light, and when Ennis looked up, he saw that almost the entire outer wall toward the ceiling was taken up by a row of large windows that formed the triangle shaped peak on the front of the house.
At one end of the room, was a large hand-made stone fireplace with a mantle made from a large slab of granite. The fireplace was framed by two long windows that showed views of the pastureland and the mountains. At the other end was a large window that gave a view of the driveway and outbuildings.
The right side of the living room was a long line of windows that looked out onto the porch and showed the little stream, the bridge, and the gazebo. On the left side of the room was a staircase. At the foot of the stairs was a door leading into the kitchen. The kitchen was large and contained a dining area and a center island. The counter tops, which ran around one entire end of the room, were green marble, and the floors appeared to be tiled with the same. The center island was a wet bar, with a built in sink, a small refrigerator, and a wine rack overhead. There was another door leading out to the porch.
Behind the stairs were two more doors. The first led to a large airy bedroom with a picture window showing a view of part of the pasture, the trees beyond, and the mountains. The second was a large bathroom with a garden style bathtub and a door that connected it to the bedroom next to it.
The stairs led to the second floor, the landing at the top ran the length of the house, and was open with an oak railing and overlooked the living room. Along the wall opposite the railing, situated about at the middle were a set of French doors that opened to the Master Bedroom. The room stretched the length of the house and had its own separate bath taking up an entire end of the room. Ennis poked his head in and looked around the bathroom. There was a counter along one whole wall with two sinks and mirror along the length of it, and a sunken bathtub that looked big enough for 3 people. He thought briefly of he and Jack splashing around in that tub, and had to walk away quickly or risk revealing his thoughts to Jack, who seemed to be watching his every step.
Almost an entire wall of the room was taken up by a row of windows just like those at the front, forming a triangular shaped window that faced out on the pastures and the mountains.
Ennis walked through the house as though in a trance. After a while, when he had said absolutely nothing, Jack began to be concerned.
"He doesn' like it… it's too big… or too fancy…"
Ennis picked up immediately on the disappointment in Jack's thoughts, and snapped out of his daze.
"Jack…" he said, his voice almost unrecognizable, "are ya sure ya…we… can afford this? This place is huge and hasta cost a fortune!"
"It's all paid fer, Ennis. I told ya… the check has already been written." Jack said, a great deal of pride in his voice, "I was lookin' at a bigger place, but there weren't no place fer the horses…" Jack's voice trailed off and he just watched Ennis.
After several more minutes passed with him shuffling his feet and not quite daring to look at Ennis' face he said, "So…you like it?"
"Darlin, it's amazin'," Ennis said and grinned at the ecstatic expression on Jack's face.
"So..." Ennis said, walking around the bedroom with his hands behind his back, "what do you think of right here... across from this window that looks out at the mountains?" He stopped in front of the large window and looked out at the view before him.
"For what?" Jack asked and stepped up beside Ennis so he could see what he was looking at.
Ennis suddenly turned and making that same moaning growl in his throat, wrapped Jack up in his arms. They just stood there for a minute... brown eyes speaking to blue eyes, speaking of things that only they knew and understood, then slowly, without coaxing on either part, their lips came together in a long lingering kiss, from which Ennis only pulled away enough to whisper, "for the bed!"
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Ennis shifted uncomfortably in his chair. It was very warm in the office of Mr. J. W. Roth, president of 'The Landmark Group' real estate agency. For the last hour, Ennis had been squirming while enduring Mr. Roth's long speech about the property they were buying, the former owners, and the town itself. Ennis mind kept wandering to other things, and he kept having to remind himself to listen. Mostly, his mind kept wandering to the night before.
Unable to stay in the house until after the papers where signed, he and Jack had ended up checking into a hotel about 20 miles outside of town. Ennis had refused to stay in Fort Collins, saying he didn't think they needed to 'advertise' their relationship before they even moved into town. Jack had grumbled and complained a bit about that, but in the end had shrugged and said he didn't care if they slept in a curtained off corner, as long as it meant he got to have a naked Ennis pressed against him soon. Ennis had flushed at that and told him to shut up, but Jack had grinned widely at the speedometer as Ennis drove out of town well over the speed limit.
Unfortunately, Jack's desire for Ennis' naked body had been delayed greatly when they arrived at the hotel. The clerk at the desk, had adamantly refused to rent them a room with a king size bed. He had insisted that the only rooms he had left were two small rooms with a single twin bed in each, and even though Jack had pointed out that there were dozens of keys on the board behind him, he had stuck to his story.
Ennis stood off to the side, his head lowered, watching Jack from under his hat while Jack argued with the hotel clerk. Glancing around, Ennis noticed that more and more people were stopping to watch Jack and the clerk argue. Fighting an urge to bolt back to the tuck, Ennis cleared his throat to get Jack's attention.
"Jack..." he ground out, his voice pleading, "Let's jus' go."
"No!" Jack said, and Ennis cringed at how loud his voice sounded in the suddenly quiet lobby, "they got empty rooms here, and I ain't sleepin' in the truck!"
Finally, Ennis had had enough, and said, "Fine, jus' take one'a the ones with a twin! I'm too fuckin' tired to listen ta ya argue bout it any more."
"Sir!" The clerk exclaimed, and reminded Ennis briefly of a little old lady that used to go to the church his parents dragged him to when he was a boy. At that point, Ennis didn't give a damn if he offended the man or not, he just wanted to get out of there and away from all those people whose eyes he could feel boring into his back.
"Don't you mean you want both rooms…? I don't see how both of you hope to…" the flustered clerk began.
Taking out his wallet, Ennis slapped the $25 for the room fee down on the counter, snatched one of the keys from the clerk's hand and grabbing Jack's hand he growled, "Let's go!"
"Don't worry bout it… we'll manage!" Jack called over his shoulder, and Ennis growled again, and sent a scathing glower as a man who stood next to the elevator, his eyes wide and staring at Ennis, thought, "that man looks dangerous."
He hauled a laughing Jack along behind him, and cringed inwardly when Jack waved at the man and said, "Good-night!"
"Shut up, Jack… just shut the fuck up!" Ennis snarled as he jammed his finger into the up button for the elevator.
"Aw…come on, cowboy…" Jack whispered in a jovial tone, "where's yer sense'a humor?"
Ennis looked at Jack, started to say something, and then clamped his mouth shut, uttering through clenched teeth… "Just shut up!"
Jack snickered all the way up to their room, and laughed out loud when Ennis stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Grinning all the while he was undressing, Jack wondered himself how they were gonna manage to sleep in one little twin bed. "I suppose if we were to lay one on top of the oth'r…", he thought, and grinned at the image that evoked.
He sat in the chair, and waited for Ennis to come out of the bathroom. When almost a half hour had passed and he hadn't heard even a peep from the other side of the door, Jack walked slowly over and knocked.
"What?" Came the gruff voice from the other side.
"Umm… Ennis, are you comin' out soon?" Jack asked in a slightly cajoling voice.
"No…" Ennis said testily, "I'm gonna sleep in here!"
"Ennis…" Jack said, somewhat desperately, "I needta get in there!"
On the other side of the door, Ennis thought, "Serves ya right ya lil' shit… oughta let ya stand out there and piss yerself!"
Sighing, he planted a scowl on his face, and opened the bathroom door.
"Fine…" he said, "just make it quick… I'm bout done in, and the tub ain't gettin' any softer!"
Jack ducked around him and quickly went into the bathroom, closing the door.
"I can see now what my life is gonna be like from now on… he's gonna piss me off all the damn time, an then he'll smile at me or look at me with those curs'd eyes'a his and I won' nev'r be able to stay mad at him! An dammit… there's times when I really wanna be mad at the lil' shit!"
As he thought this, he couldn't keep the smile off his face… he didn't half blame Jack for teasing that clerk, "fuckin' asshole!" but he wished Jack would think before he did things like that, things that called attention to 'them'. Much as he wanted to though, he couldn't seem to bring himself to stay mad at him. Truth was, he was so damn happy to see and be with the man, that even though Jack could make him angrier then anyone else he had ever known… he was quickly becoming unable to image a life without him in it.
When Jack came out of the bathroom, he glanced cautiously at Ennis, trying to gauge his mood.
Wanting nothing more then to grab Jack and finish what he had started earlier, Ennis struggled with himself until the urge to make Jack squirm a bit won out and he started toward the bathroom. As he expected, when he got there, Jack was still standing in the doorway.
"Look out, " Ennis said, "I wanna get some sleep."
"Ennis…" Jack said, his voice sad and pleading, "You ain't really gonna sleep in the tub… are ya?" "Please Ennis... it's our first night togeth'r in 6 damn months... can't stand tha thought of not bein' with ya...!"
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn..." Ennis said, his voice rough with something other then anger.
Jack, hearing the change in his voice, looked at Ennis, his darkening, blue eyes searching his face and said, "I can give ya two…"
Without another word, they wrapped their arms around each other and held on tight. Ennis whispered against Jack's shoulder, "I surely did miss ya, Jack", and Jack replied, "Missed ya too, Ennis… an them's four words I hope I don' need to say again for a real long time!"
Now as Ennis sat in the horribly hot office, he felt himself getting even warmer when he recalled that, in the end, that twin bed had not been a problem at all, and he couldn't keep the slight smile off his face when he recalled how he had woken up that morning. Propped up on a pile of pillows at the head of the bed, almost sitting up his legs spread apart, and Jack curled up between them, his head resting on Ennis' upper thigh, and his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. His back had been a bit stiff from sleeping that way, but as he looked down at Jack, his face soft, boyish and almost angelic in sleep, Ennis felt happier then he ever remembered being.
He was shaken from his reverie by Mr. Roth standing up behind his desk and at last saying, "So gentlemen, let's get these papers signed and get ya outta here."
Breathing an audible sigh of relief, and taking the pen from his hand, Ennis signed his name and held the pen out to Jack. Just as Jack reached out to grab it, Mr. Roth added, "Yes, yes…lot's ta do at the house 'fore yer wives arrive I expect!"
Ennis' hand jerked when he heard this, and he accidentally jabbed Jack with the pen.
"Hey… take it easy, Bud…" Jack said and shook his hand, "that's my ropin' hand!"
Ennis looked at Jack, and then they both looked at Mr. Roth, who had a rather confused look on his face.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Roth," Jack said finally, "you took us by surprise. See me and Ennis... um well…"
"We're both divorced!" Ennis cut in, refusing to look at Jack for fear of what he might see in his face.
"Oh… oh my, I am sorry…" Mr. Roth dithered, "had no idea… so sorry for mentioning it…" "God man, could you be more of an idiot? Here these two men have been through that, an lost their wives and now their forced to buy a place together to make ends meet… just awful…"
Ennis gulped, and felt that he had to get out of that office now… he couldn't stand listening to this man's thoughts any more.
"Jack," he said, his voice strained, "you go ahead an sign… I'll meet ya outside… need to get some air." He ground this out as quickly as possible and then practically bolted for the door, fleeing from Mr. Roth and his profuse apologizes but also from the pain and disappointment that he imagined must be written all over Jack's face. As the door closed behind him, he heard Mr. Roth saying to Jack, "I am so sorry, Mr. Twist… poor man is obviously still so distraught… didn't mean to upset him…" and then the door closed behind him and he was free.
When Jack finally emerged 20 minutes later, he found Ennis sitting in the truck. His back was stiffly pressed against the seat, and he was staring blankly out of the front window at, from what Jack could tell, nothing.
Jack opened the truck door and slid into the driver's seat. He too sat looking out the window for a moment. Finally, he looked at Ennis and said, "Ready to go home, Bud… or do ya wanna sit here an stare at the trees all day?"
Ennis looked at Jack quickly and then ducked his head, "I'm sorry, Jack… I blew it in there… shouldna lied about us…"
"What do ya mean?" Jack asked, genuine surprise in his voice.
"Well… I told him that we were both divorced and that was why there weren't no wives comin'…" Ennis said and Jack cut in on him.
"Ennis… ya didn' lie, Cowboy. We are both divorced… ain't we?"
Ennis looked up at Jack's smiling face and couldn't help but smile back.
"Jack..." he said, his voice and eyes saying how sorry he was, even if Jack said he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Let's go home, ok Bud?" Jack said, and reached out to squeeze Ennis' arm.
Ennis grinned at him and grabbed Jack's hand before he could take it back. Placing their linked hands on the seat between them, he said, "Well whatcha waitn' fer, comeon, Jack, pick it up, time's a wastin'…"
Jack shook his head and said, "Ennis Fuckin' Del Mar" as they drove out of the lot, a cloud of dust and Ennis' laughter trailing behind.
18
