Chapter 9 - Weighing the Evidence

Coming out of the ladies' room, Mac watched Renee stride down the hallway and through the double doors. Mac glanced back towards Harm's room and then changed her mind and headed as planned towards the bank of pay phones. She dialled and then purposefully stood with her back to the phone. She didn't want to miss the return of Renee Petersen.

The Admiral took her report with obvious relief. "Thank you for letting me know Colonel." Unfortunately, Rabb's improved prognosis combined with the arrival of both his parents and Miss Petersen made Mac's continued presence at his bedside unnecessary from the Admiral's perspective. He ordered her to return to duty immediately. "We're short one attorney until Rabb's back and with the case load at present, we can't run short handed."

"Yes, sir," she replied. When their conversation concluded, Mac hung up the phone and headed with purposeful strides back to Harm's room. Renee hadn't made another appearance and Mac wanted to know why.

Harm lay as she left him, relaxing on the inclined bed. He brightened when she settled into the chair beside his bed. "Remember me?" She asked with a teasing tone. His grin grew broader.

"Of course." He said.

Mac returned the smile with a shadow of a blush rising in her cheeks. "Renee's gone? Is everything ok?"

"Yeah."

"She'll be back?"

"Not likely."

"Harm what did you say to her?" Mac's voice was quiet, but her eyes held his.

Harm looked down at his hands and adjusted the thin sheet. He nodded and then met Mac's look.

"We want different things."

Mac listened without commenting.

"We won't be seeing one another any more."

Mac shook her head. "Harm." She shook her head again. "You really shouldn't have. I haven't talked to Mic. I can't make promises. I have to see him face to face." It came out in a tremendous rush. Harm reached across the space between them and settled his large hand over her's.

"It's ok. Renee and I've been done for a while. You talk to Mic. Then we'll see ok?"

Mac managed a nod, but there was a hard lump in her gut.

"Did you get supper?" He asked changing the subject. "You weren't gone very long."

"No." she said relieved at the shift. "I called the Admiral. He asked me to convey his best wishes for a speedy recovery and to remind you to be in touch with him as soon as you are released from hospital."

"Right." Harm said frankly. "SOP"

"And," Mac continued "I have to report as usual at 0800 tomorrow morning." Harm glanced at the watch on his wrist calculating time and distance. When he looked back at her their faces held similar expressions of dismay.

"I don't want you to go." He said simply.

She managed half a smile and responded in kind. "I don't want to go." But she did finally, without another word moments later.

Mac thought about calling Mic as she walked past the pay phones, but she couldn't think of what she might say. She thought perhaps her tone of voice or a word unspoken might betray the new dissonance in their relationship. She didn't want to begin this conversation over the phone. More than that she needed the drive to work out what she really felt and what, above all, she wanted. It was a long drive back to Georgetown, but not half long enough for the decision she needed to make.

As she drove she weighed the evidence.

Harm says he loves me.

He broke up with Renee.

One of us will have to give up Jag.

I love him.

I've always loved him.

Mic says he loves me.

He left his Australia to be with me.

He resigned his commission to be with me.

I love him.

Letting go of certainty and risking her future, her happiness and her plans was hard to intellectualize. The view of the road, over the glittering diamond on her left hand didn't help to clarify her thinking or her vision of the future. Finally Mac gave up on thinking altogether and simply let the road take her home.