A/N OK folks! Hopefully this chapter update finds you ready for spring...unlike me! The pollen is about to kill my sinuses! I've been sick the past few days, but tonight the creative juices flowed so that I was able to finish this chapter! It fought me for quite a while!

Killergal100, you keep me writing! The butt smack was so much fun! I could see Charon debating it. I had to make him do it! Glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you enjoy this one!

Courier9, you better believe ghoul strippers and hookers will be appearing in future chapters! I cannot WAIT to see how that part of the story ends up! I'm glad you're enjoying it! The reviews help me keep writing. I basically write anytime I have free time, which is few and far between. This week is spring break. :) Glad Sophia's colloquialisms are working well!

Also, thanks to Zukuto and zmajoljupka for the reviews!

Chapter 8 Certified Grade A

Sofia was tiny compared to Charon, but carrying her was tiring after a while. DC wasn't what it used to be. Rubble and obstacles littered the landscape. If he could have just gone straight, their trek would have been relatively quick. Still, at least he had avoided an argument. She seemed to find it amusing to be carried, so eventually coerced him into giving her a piggy back ride. She seemed to be tickled with how high up she was and took out several super mutants from her new post. While Charon ran, he could feel her legs wrapped around his waist and her chest against his back. Oh, he knew why he was letting her do something he would have never done for any other employer. Hell, he would have told them, 'It is not in my contract to do such a thing." But with her, she could just smile at him and he'd let her ride him around like a pack mule! He gripped her thighs and hefted her up higher on his back. His hands had a mind of their own sometimes and he had to remind himself not to wiggle his fingers on her legs. Thankfully they were almost to Underworld. Even better her eye level was above what was happening in front further south.

Meanwhile, Sofia was having the time of her life! She was riding on Charon's back like he was her own personal brahmin! Being so much higher up was amazing. She knew she shouldn't press her luck. Sofia was pretty sure the only reason he let her ride on his back was because she hadn't argued about the whole mire lurk thing. But seriously! Being short was a disadvantage! Sofia could see over rocks, behind cars, and even the second floor of some buildings! It was amazing!

As Charon hefted her up, her body jerked forward and her face fell to the ghoul's neck. Charon still carried a lingering sweet smell of sour rot, but she could smell her soap and a hint of leather and gunpowder too. Once they were out in the hot dry West, he would start to smell so much better. Sofia almost laughed at herself. What in the world was her mind planning? Goodness! Maybe she was the one that was a little sweet on someone!

As the pair rounded the entrance into the small courtyard of Underworld, Willow stared in disbelief, her freshly lit cigarette hanging out of her mouth. The little courier was riding on Charon's back grinning. Willow didn't know what to do but wave. As they got closer, the look on Charon's face was priceless when he realized Willow was there. He looked equal parts put upon and don't fucking tell anyone what you see! Willow shook her head.

"Let me down!" Sofia squeaked out patting Charon on the shoulders. What must Willow think? She was just having fun, but the look on Willow's face told her that having her 'employee' carry her around might be abuse. She hadn't really thought of it. She slid down his back and to the ground as gracefully as she could and pulled her bag off her back.

"Old injury flared up. Charon offered to carry me so we could get home in time for dinner! Got you these." She tossed the small pack to Willow before lugging her bag over her shoulder and walking away.

Before Charon could ask where she had gotten the cigarettes, she looked at him over her shoulder behind Willow's back.

"Happened across those in a ditch I was shoved in!" She gave Charon a hard look before heading into the building.

Willow flipped the packet over in her hands before looking at Charon. "Never seen this brand before." If she had eyebrows they would have been raised.

"Ask Sofia," Charon responded automatically.

"Oh, so it's going to be like that, is it? Little tourist as bad as Ahzrukal, just easier on the eyes?" Willow took a puff of her cigarette. Charon said nothing.

"Listen, I know we've never been best friends or anything, but here's my advice: be careful. She isn't what she seems to be. Something's off about her. She's too nice, which means she's a manipulator. Figured out that honey gets more flys. Just watch out for yourself or she'll own your soul, too." Willow blew smoke in Charon's direction, before turning to walk away.

Charon grunted and rolled his eyes. It wasn't that bad, was it?

"Oh, and Charon? If you get the chance, fuck her for all your worth. We don't get chances like that very often. And I bet she'd be one sweet piece of ass."

Charon stared after her. What the hell?! Having sex had entered his mind, sure, but she wouldn't allow that...would she? As he walked into Underworld, he stared at the relics left behind from when the building had been a museum. Isn't that what he was? A living relic from a world that tried to destroy itself? He remembered hearing that the only things that would outlive a nuclear war were roaches. Well, radroaches were more plentiful then radiation. Yet, here he was, alive. Did that make him a roach? No one wanted roaches.

God, what the hell was wrong with him? He was a ghoul slave. Charon continued walking into Underworld and found Sofia talking to Winthrop. He would do his job, but if she wanted sex? As he stood next to the little courier and glanced at her chest, he licked his lips unconsciously.

"Getting thirsty, Charon?" Winthrop asked with a sly grin on his face. "Or are you hungry for something?" Winthrop made a biting motion toward Sofia and her laughter filled the hall.

"You old coot!" Sofia giggled and gently pushed at the ghoul. "I didn't find any scrap metal, but I was rummaging through my pack and came across an old magazine you might could use." She handed him the worn magazine.

"Ooh! Fixin' Things! All we ever seem to come across around here is the odd Dean's Electronics, but they never have any good articles on how to repair water heaters. Thanks, kid."

Sofia looked like she was going to say something, but just sighed softly, smiled, and nodded her head. She looked at Charon and looped her arm around his.

"Let's go clean up before we get some grub" Sofia ordered, pulling Charon toward the bathrooms. Once inside, Sofia dropped her bag and fished out a dingy, but soft rag and some soap.

"Use this and do your best to wash up. I know it'll be hard since your taller than a brick house, but I'm sure you can manage." Sofia took out an equally dingy rag and set it on the sink. She slid out of her long jacket and folded it up. Once she started taking off her top, he turned around in time to see another ghoul, Quinn, walk in.

Quinn's eyes widened and his mouth dropped at the sight of Sofia in just a sports bra and jeans. Even as Charon moved toward him, Quinn never took his eyes off Sofia. Hearing the footsteps, Sofia turned to see Quinn just before Charon grabbed the man.

"Oh, hey Quinn! I was wondering..." Sofia began, but trailed off. "Charon, what are you doing?"

"You are in a state of undress. Do you not wish me to remove him from the bathroom?" Charon looked at Sofia with confusion written all over his face.

"Undress? I have my sports bra on over my bra...is that unacceptable here? I mean, I've done this before and no one said anything. Course, I don't think anyone came in the last few times I did this." Sofia scratched her chin and puffed her cheeks out. She let out the air in her cheeks with a soft sound. "Really, it's no big deal to me. You see more skin outside Gomorrah on a Tuesday afternoon! My whole chest is covered. No little x's for this courier!"

Charon and Quinn couldn't help but stare at her chest as she began to talk about it. Quinn looked like he wanted to leave, but his second brain was doing the thinking. Charon growled at him and he flinched, his eyes meeting Charon's for a brief second before looking anywhere except Sofia.

"Charon, go finish cleaning up." Turning to Quinn she asked, "Listen, did you by any chance find anymore of that soap you got Tulip last month? I bought everything she had left last week and I'd pay you well for more."

"Uhh...I sold what I had to Tulip. Listen, I can give you a map with directions to the settlement I got it from. " Quinn began back peddling out of the bathroom. "Tiny little town and the people were fairly friendly when I said I was looking to trade. But, uh, " Quinn fumbled as he glanced over at Charon giving him a glare, "I've got to go, uh, talk to Tulip about a chest, I mean locker for the breast storage, I mean...I gotta go." Quinn bolted from the room.

Sofia blinked and stared after Quinn cocking her head to the side. "Charon?"

"Yes, Sofia?"

"Did he just say 'breast storage'?"

"Yes, I believe he did."

Sofia didn't laugh, she cackled. "Oh Lord! I didn't mean to rile him up!" She began laughing again.

"Well, some men are not used to seeing smoothskins half naked." Charon all but growled out while taking his shirt off.

The laughing stopped immediately. Sofia coughed and looked at Charon's ridged shoulders.

"I wasn't laughing at him, sugar. I was laughing at the situation. Back home I could walk around in my skivvies and no one would bat an eye! And besides, raiders and bandits wear less than this!" Sofia motioned her hands up and down her body.

Charon picked up the rag he dropped earlier and draped it off the sink. He ran his hands and the soap under the cool water coming from the tap before shutting it off and soaping himself up.

"You wouldn't understand." Charon did his best to rinse his arms off, getting water on the floor and all around the sink. Watching the brownish water drain down from his hands, he realized he hadn't thought about getting clean in a while.

Sofia rubbed the dingy wash cloth across her collar bone and under her arms.

"What do you mean? I'm not some spring chicken, I understand that men think with their dicks."

Charon huffed. "Yeah, but...look at you." He turned around, trying to dry off as best he could with the little hand rag she had given him. "You're a pretty smoothskin. You act respectable and you treat ghouls around here nice. Do you know how long it's been for some of these lugs to have a pretty smoothskin girl talk to them? Centuries."

Charon looked into a broken piece of mirror. It had been so long since he'd seen his face, his real face, he didn't remember what it looked like. He remembered the red hair, and green eyes? Grey? Blue? He shook his head before turning back to the sink, resting against it with his hands on either side of the small basin. Did it matter?

"So...you're saying, what? Stop being so friendly? Zip it up like a vault rat? You look! I ain't looking for a tumble with every person I meet and am friendly too." Sofia sighed. She didn't have to worry about this in New Vegas. If you could afford it, you could rent a room and as many girls as you wanted. Besides, she was 'The Courier'. No one messed with her. The Legion wanted her, NCR wanted her, hell, even Mr. House wanted her, but it was never for carnal things. It was for death and Capitol was just different. She'd just adapt. "I'll tone it down to make you happy, but you'd think I was propositioning every ghoul here."

Sofia splashed cool water on her face and on the top her head to get the sweat that had accumulated under her hat. She soaped up her hair and bangs on the top of her head and rinsed it out. She didn't feel like sleeping in too much wet hair, so washing the top was the next best thing. As she tugged her hair out of the braid she rinsed her rag out in the sink. Shaking her hair free she wrung out the rag and began running it over the top of her head trying to dry it a bit.

Meanwhile, Charon was having a mental seizure. Make him happy? Huh? When was the last time someone had done something to make him happy? Aside from the food Sofia had fed him and the clothes she gave him. Shit. What was going on? Was this a trick? Fuck it. He put his shirt and jacket back on, but didn't zip it up. He ran his hand over his head. He had a job. He would do his job. She wanted to be nice and friendly, then he would do his best to follow her lead...unless something tried to kill her. Then he would guard her with his life...because that's what it says in the contract. But as she turned around looking at him with a crooked grin, he knew he was in trouble. He always did his best to ignore any feelings he still had after 200 years of servitude. But this time he could feel the start of something in his chest and it wasn't going away. The little lopsided smile on her face was more than a smirk. It looked like an invitation to something he had no right.

She motioned for him to follow her and they headed to get some food. Once they were both as full as anyone could be, they went to look for Quinn and found him talking with Tulip.

"Hey there Tulip, Quinn." Sofia smiled.

"Yeah." Quinn looked down at his boots while Tulip nodded a hello and began dusting around her shop.

"Ya think you'd be able to use my Pipboy to mark the location for that settlement?"

"Easy." Quinn nervously shuffled over to Sofia glancing at Charon. Charon nodded.

"Like I said," Quinn rambled as he marked the location for her, "the people were pretty friendly. Wanted to sell me some meat, but it didn't look right. The soap though, it works really well. It's hard to find good soap that doesn't strip off skin."

"Thanks, sugar! I really appreciate it! If you need anything, just let me know!" She smiled as she examined the map.

As they headed back to their 'room', Sofia shucked off her boots and climbed into the bed. Charon did the same, trying not to touch her, but finding the bed to almost be too small.

"Get as much sleep as you can, darling! We're getting up early tomorrow so we can head to..." Sofia checked her Pipboy for the name of the settlement, "Andale! Hope they really are friendly!"

Charon rolled his eyes. With her, she'd have them eating out of her hand in no time.