When Haruka stepped out into the rain, the street was empty. Jiraiya was nowhere in sight. But as she turned to lock the door behind her, she heard a soft ribbit. Perched on a windowsill was a small, brown toad. It jumped closer to her, and she stepped forward to meet it halfway. The toad opened its mouth and stretched out its tongue to reveal another note.
The only thing written on it was the name of a hotel and a room number.
Luckily, Haruka knew Kawanokuchi well enough to know exactly where to go.
Once again, she considered running for it. But now that Jiraiya knew that she was alive, it was better to let the confrontation happen. Running would only make things uglier. Either way, Jiraiya might not actually be waiting for her at the hotel. If this was her operation, she'd be following her target in the shadows, to make sure they didn't flake on her.
Resigned to her fate, she started her trek to Jiraiya's hotel, taking a circuitous path to evade any other shadows than the man himself. When she arrived, she was drenched from head to toe, having forgotten her umbrella at the bar.
She bypassed the lobby, choosing instead to pick the lock on the staff entrance at the back of the building. Once inside, it was easy enough to sneak up the stairs to the rooms. Jiraiya' was on the top floor, in room 407.
Haruka braced herself before giving two solid knocks on the door.
Jiraiya was just as wet and miserable as her when he opened the door and stepped aside to let her in, revealing that her theory had been correct. He'd followed her to make certain that she would arrive as instructed and had probably snuck into his room only minutes before her knock.
There was no disarming smile on his face as he gestured for her to sit down in an armchair, no trace of the goofy man-child that he usually displayed to the world. Haruka met his calculating gaze with its mirror image but sat down as suggested.
Jiraiya remained standing instead of taking the chair opposite hers, his arms crossed in front of himself. Making him appear even larger, from her point of view. Looming over her like a giant.
Intimidation didn't suit him, but Haruka could see why he chose to utilize it. A lesser target might already be sweating in their seat. But she'd been trained to withstand torture. Her body was riddled with the scars to prove that her training hadn't remained untested. Jiraiya's posturing didn't faze her.
"We have a lot to talk about, don't we Uchiha-san? Last I heard, you were killed in action. Your name is engraved among our dead. Yet, here you are."
"Here I am," Haruka agreed.
"Care to explain? Or should I assume it was a miracle?"
"I was held by Iwagakure as a prisoner of war for almost a year after I fell in battle. I've been in hiding ever since making my escape," she replied with ease.
Jiraiya scratched at his chin, peering down at her to search for any miniscule signs of untruth in her words. For any twitch in her facial expression or body language. Haruka didn't budge under his gaze. She knew that she was speaking truly.
"That's a long time to be on the run. You didn't try to return home? Why?" Jiraiya asked.
"I fully intended to return to Konoha. But things got complicated on the way. Hiding was the better option."
"Hmm. That doesn't sound very believable. I'm more inclined to think you were converted. Tell me, Haruka-san, did you break under the pressure? Are you working for Iwa?"
At that, she couldn't help but to burst out laughing. "Never. I fucking hate those bastards. They kept me isolated in a tiny cage for eight months. They tortured me. They were going to rip my eyes out and place them in the skull of some imbecile."
Jiraiya's cool façade slipped for a moment, revealing a disturbed expression, before snapping back into place. "Then who are you working for?"
"Nobody. Look, is this going to be an interrogation, or can we talk like actual people?"
He huffed, mock-offended. "I thought we already were."
Haruka weighed her options. She had no real reason to hide behind outright lies, but there were truths she didn't know if she should trust him with. But if anyone would understand the danger of Orochimaru, it was his old teammate.
"No, we're not. You obviously think I'm a traitor. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I'm not one."
Jiraiya clenched his hands into fists. He leaned forward to seethe at her with a desperate anger that she hadn't imagined his face could ever twist into. Gone was the mask of a calm and collected interrogator.
"Then prove it to me! Give me something to make me understand why you didn't come home when you were needed most! Konoha could have used someone like you when the Kyuubi attacked, and after. But you weren't there. If you want my trust, I need to understand how you could abandon us like that."
Haruka's entire body froze. "What do you mean when the Kyuubi attacked?"
"Are you telling me you don't know? What the hell kind of a spy are you?"
"One who's been hiding in the wilderness for years," Haruka snapped. "Now tell me what the fuck happened."
Jiraiya took a deep breath, collecting the pieces of his anger until he could speak again without yelling. "It happened about four years ago. The Kyuubi broke loose and rampaged across the village, destroying everything in its wake. The Yondaime lay down his life to seal it away. We still don't know who is responsible, or what motivations they may have had."
Haruka stared at him in disbelief. "I swear I didn't know."
She certainly should have known. There should have been talk of it, even after years. Even in a tiny shithole like Kawanokuchi. Haruka's lips shuddered. She bit down on them to make it stop. How many had died? Yamanaka-sensei? Mikoto?
Jiraiya stepped back and slumped down into his armchair. He studied her for a while, before burying his face in his hands.
"I believe you," he said, once he looked up again. "I don't understand what the hell happened, and I want a good damn explanation, but I believe you. That's real grief in your eyes."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there," Haruka said. "And I'm sorry for your loss. I know Namikaze-sama was close to you."
"Yeah, yeah," Jiraiya said, giving a short wave of his hand as if brushing it aside. His anger was still palpable, even as it was dissipating into grief. "Now tell me what the hell happened to you."
"Orochimaru happened," she began.
Then she told him the rest of her story, laying out the bare bones of it so Jiraiya could pick it over for details. It was less painful than the time she told Mori, if only because she was distracted by the shock of Jiraiya's revelation.
By the end of her tale he was stumped into silence.
They both let everything sink in for a while. Haruka listened to the rain splattering onto the roof, each drop indistinguishable from the other, their sounds overlapping into a thundering cascade of noise.
Then, out of nowhere, Jiraiya's eyes snapped open into an expression of pure horror.
"Orochimaru got laid?" he exclaimed, as if the thought was so ludicrous that it had to be addressed before he could question any other aspect of her story.
Haruka might have punched him if she wasn't so tired.
Jiraiya laughed uneasily, wincing all the while. "It's only, I was pretty sure he wasn't capable of it. Or, more that he never seemed very interested."
"Who knows if he truly was," Haruka admitted with a sigh, cringing internally. "All I know is that he got me pregnant intentionally. It's not a stretch to imagine why, now that I know what he was doing behind our backs."
Jiraiya nodded in agreement, humming thoughtfully. "I should have suspected that something was wrong, but I didn't. I still don't understand what drove him to such madness and cruelty."
The grief and betrayal seeped into each muscle in his face, making his laugh lines look out of place. He looked old and worn. On the brink of giving up.
Not so much unlike herself, on her worst days.
"Still, Konoha could have protected you. I understand your reservations, but neither Minato-kun or the old man would have left you out in the cold," he said.
"Maybe not. But the rest of the village would have resented both me and the child. My clan would likely have disowned me to avoid the shame. And Orochimaru isn't stupid. He's probably keeping tabs on the village as we speak."
"Hmmm. Even so, running won't be sustainable forever. At some point, you'll run into trouble, rather than away from it."
"I did run into you," Haruka sighed.
Jiraiya snorted but looked at her triumphantly. As if she'd already admitted defeat.
"But I don't see what other choice there is. I'm doing the best I can with what I have. It's a moot point by now, anyway. If I go back now, I'll get stamped as a traitor and locked up in T&I until they go ahead and execute me," Haruka continued.
"Not if I vouch for you," Jiraiya said.
"Somehow, I doubt that. You pegged me for a traitor at first too, or have you already forgotten in your old age?"
"Yeah, yeah, joke all you want. But the fact remains that the man in the hat trusts me."
"Who took up the mantle? You never said."
"Sarutobi-sama was the only one who would," Jiraiya sighed. "I sure as hell wouldn't. And Tsunade-hime was nowhere to be found."
Haruka nodded sagely, her lips thinning into a sharp line. "I'm not going back. No matter who's in charge, I have no place there anymore. At worst, I'm a traitor, at best a deserter. And I have to think about my son. He's only safe if nobody knows he exists."
"I can see your mind is made up," Jiraiya said, not quite managing to hide a pout.
"I've managed alone for almost five years," she said, wondering all the while why she was bothering to justify her decision to him.
In response, Jiraiya muttered something inaudible under his breath, before shaking his head in defeat. Then he perked up, struck by another thought.
"Is the kid anything like his father?" he asked.
"He inherited his looks, and his smarts certainly don't come from me. But other than that, not at all," Haruka smiled, pride suddenly swelling up in her heart. "He's thoughtful and compassionate. Even if I'm the grown-up, he does his best to take care of me when I'm down. Sometimes, he gets anxious and insecure, and he struggles with his place in the world. But he never takes it out on anyone else. He's kind down to the very core."
Jiraiya's face warmed up as she spoke, until a dopey smile covered it.
"He sounds like a great kid. Can I meet him?"
The answer left her mouth without conscious thought, already obvious in her mind.
"No."
"Why not?" he asked.
"I don't want to involve any more complications in his life. He has enough on his plate."
"Calling me a complication," Jiraiya muttered. "Rude, is what that is."
"Would you prefer that I call you simple?"
He chuckled at that. "You know, I can see why Orochimaru liked you. He enjoyed a bit of verbal sparring."
"I'd prefer not to talk about him," Haruka stated coldly.
Jiraiya shrugged but didn't protest. Apparently, he understood on some level that certain topics were better to leave well enough alone.
"But really, why can't I see the kid? I won't corrupt him, I promise." He wiggled his fingers in imitation of some kind of monster.
"That's not what I'm worried about," Haruka shook her head. She drummed her fingers against her thigh, unsure of how to explain it to him. It was instinctual, a sharp feeling in her gut that didn't translate easily into words.
"He likes your book. Meeting the man behind it might shatter his illusions," she settled for saying instead.
"Ouch. That hurts me down to my very soul," Jiraiya snorted.
"Look, Jiraiya-san. I don't want my son to get tangled up in my messes any more than he has to be. I can't give him a sheltered life, but I want to protect him as much as I can. Meeting you would only remind him of the kind of life he could have had if things were different. Can you see why that's not a good thing?"
"Dreams can be painful," Jiraiya agreed. Then his expression changed into one of steel, and his voice took on a serious tone. "But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have them."
"Hope isn't something people like me can afford," Haruka said.
"You've been away from your people for too long. Have you discarded the will of fire so easily?"
"I'm still loyal to the leaf, if that's what you're asking."
"No, that's not what I meant. But while on the topic, are you truly?"
"Yes. I'm simply loyal to myself first. To my son. But we serve Konoha better in hiding than as Orochimaru's playthings or slaughtered for parts by Iwa."
She sighed, suddenly tired from the conversation. Shivering in her still drenched clothing. She could feel Jiraiya's eyes on her in silent judgement.
"But I know what it looks like to everyone else," she admitted. "Cowardice. Desertion. I still love my home, but Konoha won't love me back even if I beg for it."
"You seem awfully sure of that, but I can't say I don't understand why. But if you still want to serve, there is a place for you even like this," Jiraiya said, leaning forward to take her hand in his.
He cradled it gently. Running his fingers in a caress across the bruise he'd left there only hours ago.
"The reason I came to Kawanokuchi was to meet with a contact. I have a network of sorts, spanning across all of the nations. They pass on whatever interesting things they overhear to me. Rumors, stories, secrets. The Hokage doesn't ask me to reveal their names. Only what they tell me."
He paused to peer straight into her eyes before he continued speaking.
"If you help me out, I'll help you in turn. I'm tracking Orochimaru. If I find out he's on your tail, I'll protect you from him. If things out here turn to shit, I can bring you in to Konoha. I can tell the old man that you've been working with me for all these years and he'll believe me. All I ask for is that you tell me what you hear in that bar, or anywhere else you decide to go. So, what do you say?"
"It's a deal," Haruka said, the words rolling off her tongue with a certainty that she hadn't felt in years.
Jiraiya gave her hand a careful squeeze before letting go.
He stood up from his chair and retreated further into the hotel room, digging through a well-worn pack to return with a bottle of sake. He poured them each a small cup.
"Then let's toast on it."
…
The sun was high in the sky by the time Haruka left Jiraiya's hotel, warming up the previously grey-tinged town with its light. The rain had ceased hours ago, though the smell of it remained. She had to avoid stepping into puddles as she walked down the streets. Her clothes were still damp. Yet, Haruka couldn't find it in herself to hurry home.
She had a lot to think about.
They'd stayed up talking through the night and well into morning, going through the practicalities of their deal. There were a lot of details to keep track of, but no more than she was used to from her old missions. The biggest difference was the lack of a clear directive. Jiraiya wanted anything of interest, regardless of topic. Of course, he was mostly interested in anything connected to the Kyuubi attack or Orochimaru.
Haruka doubted she'd be of much use in those areas. But she already had plenty to share on organized crime, though they hadn't had the time to go through any of it. Instead, she'd been tasked with writing down a report to hand off before Jiraiya left town.
Haruka wasn't sure what she thought of the way he handled his spy network. Getting him messages would be difficult, as he roamed around a lot. Letters could be sent to different waystations or left at dead drops, and he'd eventually pick them up himself or send a toad for them. But a lot of time could easily pass until he received any messages left for him. A lot could be tampered with in his absence.
She'd have to make up a code much stronger than her usual standards. Anything of real importance would have to be relayed face to face.
Jiraiya checked in personally with his spies on a semi-regular basis in the guise of other business, but Haruka had seen for herself that he could be much subtler about it. His little meeting with his contact at her workplace would have been easy for her to spot even if she hadn't already known the spymaster.
The only thing protecting his network was the sheer idiocy of a public figure handling such a thing, and in the open, too. Jiraiya had taken the concept of hiding in plain sight to a new level. He was writing more books as well and had proudly proclaimed that his newly published erotica was doing much better than the heavily discounted book she'd bought for Mori. His current trip was a book tour to market the first part of his Icha Icha series, though the obscure locations he'd chosen to visit betrayed his true purposes.
Maybe she could pass her reports off as fan mail. Haruka cringed at the thought. The idea of praising the pervert, even to hide coded messages, was off-putting to say the least. But it could very well work, especially if he managed to become a popular author.
Jiraiya had at least been aware of the inherent weaknesses of his network when she pointed them out to him. But Konoha didn't have the resources to invest much in his work after the attack. Jiraiya was pretty much winging it. He didn't have a team of analysts helping him sort through any of the intel he gathered, or anyone to help him structure the network more efficiently.
The stupidity of not developing a potential gold mine like that properly, showed just how much the Kyuubi's rampage had devastated the village. It also highlighted how much Jiriaya had distanced himself from the village since then. From what he'd told her, he only barely kept in touch with the Hokage, to pass on information.
Haruka sighed, feeling her lack of sleep catching up to her. She'd been spoiled with good sleep lately, getting more rest than ever before. Her body had grown used to it.
This entire ordeal was proof that she'd gotten nonchalant and complacent. Slipping back into the comfortable role of smug spy had made her relax too much. The familiarity had lulled her into a false sense of control. She was only lucky that the incident hadn't ended in complete disaster. That Jiraiya had listened to her, rather than condemning her.
But Jiraiya recognizing her so easily was proof enough that it could happen again, with someone much less understanding.
She couldn't let herself dismiss the incident as bad luck or coincidence.
Haruka quickened her stride, suddenly feeling an urge to be away from it all. From all the people on the street, many of them now at least vaguely familiar to her. She wanted to tear off her polite mask and roar in fury and despair. She wanted to unleash all the turmoil inside of her in a burst of fire.
It was as Mori had solemnly stated only a few days ago. Nothing they had was permanent.
Haruka didn't realize just how long she'd been gone until she unlocked the door to the apartment and was immediately dragged inside by a wide-eyed Mori. His makeup was smeared from tear tracks, revealing the markings beneath.
"You were gone for so long I wasn't sure you'd be back," he said. "Are you okay?"
His eyes were flicking over her as he spoke, no doubt scanning for injuries. But Haruka was only damp, her clothes wrinkled and her hair in mild disarray.
"I'm fine. Shouldn't you be at school?"
"It's Saturday."
"Oh."
"You're definitely not okay. Do we need to run for it?"
"Not yet," Haruka said, reaching down to ruffle his hair. She couldn't help but be proud that he was so ready to jump into action.
"Then rest," he said. "I'll heat up some food for you."
She was way too tired to argue with that. Haruka took off her shoes and retreated into their shared bedroom. She sank down into her futon without undressing. Soon, the faint smell of food reached her. But despite the pang of hunger it triggered, she floated off into a shallow, fretful sleep.
…
Of course, her rest didn't last for long. Mori poked her awake only a few hours later, to give her enough time to eat before her shift at the bar started. He didn't demand an explanation for her absence, though Haruka was sure he wanted one.
Regardless, there wasn't enough time for a long conversation. She shoveled food into her mouth, took a quick shower, and hurried off to work.
The question of whether or not it was time to leave Kawanokuchi lingered in her mind for the rest of the night as she served drinks and made small talk with her regulars. Mori had already packed their bags while she was gone. She was tempted to simply take them and go. But leaving suddenly after Jiraiya's appearance at the bar wasn't ideal. Someone might be crafty enough to connect the dots.
She'd have to wait a few more weeks. Maybe a month. But after that, it was time to go somewhere else. They could retreat to the woods again for a while and give Mori a chance to work on his physical conditioning and jutsu, while Haruka took stock of their options.
Jiraiya hadn't given her any directions after all. He'd set no limits on where she could wander or instructed her to actively seek out anything in particular. She could still go anywhere she wanted, even if he'd gain nothing if she chose to stay somewhere remote and isolated. Their deal was to her benefit, rather than his.
Even so, Haruka intended to honor her side of their bargain. After a short reprieve from society to gather her wits, she'd go somewhere she could be of use.
