Chapter 9 Just Making Memories
Harry woke the next morning with a head that felt like lead. Snape was still in the bed and Harry was still lying over the top of him as if they had finished having sex and fallen asleep in the same instant. Harry peeled himself away from Snape noting their sticky and sweaty skin. For once Snape was completely out of it asleep, on his front with his legs splayed wide apart and not a sheet in sight to cover them.
Harry struggled over to lie on his back on the other side of the bed. His life just kept getting more and more wonderful and somehow all he could succeed in doing was shagging Snape. Why couldn't he be wonderfully talented at getting himself out of this mess instead?
"Harry!" Marius called through from the living room.
Harry didn't have the time or the ability to get a sheet for either himself or Snape. It was the morning he had a bath and Marius was on his way through.
Harry had to admire Marius' skill and discretion. He looked momentarily surprised at the sight of Harry and Snape lying naked on the bed but had a sheet over them in an instant with one speedy swish of his wand.
"It's like walking in on your parents," Marius complained as he got Harry's things out of the wardrobe ready for his bath.
Snape didn't make it down to breakfast, though Harry did, just. Harry thought that it was just as well, he had just made things harder for himself. What did you say to Snape in conversation after you have just topped him the night before? Judging by Snape's doubt at his ability to do so it must have been the first time too. Maybe, Harry thought, Snape had been too drunk to remember, but did that make things better or worse?
Harry made his way through his lessons with an automatic ease. Describing a technique, demonstrating it and then letting the students try it. Then set an essay which would go over the whole thing thus testing for comprehension of the lesson. He plodded through the whole morning in this manner waiting for a message to come from Snape regarding lunch.
When Harry didn't receive a lunch message from Snape he decided to spend the time in the library instead. He took out the wand that wasn't his and summoned the Prophet articles again. Once he had sent back all the ones he had already read, Harry turned over the next edition so that he could see the front page.
'Harry Potter molested in Gryffindor dorm' sang out the headline. Harry had to read it again; this was an article from after his defection to the Slytherins. He read on hardly wanting to know the details, below the headline was a picture of Ron looking miserable with a group of laughing students behind him. 'Gryffindor Weasley outed as Harry Potter confesses to dormitory abuse' the story continued, below that was a transcript of a sexually explicit letter stated to have been written to Harry from Ron Weasley.
Harry swallowed hard as he remembered what Ron had said about a letter. He had outed Ron to the entire Wizarding world as somebody who had forced his attentions on him, that he had been persistent and morally lacking enough to ignore Harry's refusal.
Harry looked back to Ron's picture and revised his appraisal of it. He looked humiliated, broken and grief stricken. He looked like the Ron that Harry could remember though, young. It was the face that he had looked upon and fantasised about as he lay late at night with a silencing charm around his bed. Ron had never molested him, he was sure that he would have remembered that and he wouldn't have been complaining about it if he'd tried.
Harry slumped back in his chair, no wonder, he thought, that Ron had been so hostile to him. It was a wonder that he had found anybody willing to marry him at all after that kind of slur against his character. Perhaps the only person with the strength of character necessary would be Hermione. Harry thought of little Sam and it made sense, Hermione at the Ministry with an important job and Ron with a little sweetshop. If Hermione had married Ron, however, that made her firmly in his camp and not very amenable to a certain Harry Potter either.
Harry couldn't fight the feelings that were bringing him down. His life was a mess and so far, apart from the Dursleys' deaths, it seemed to be all his own doing. He had lashed out and almost ruined Ron's life. He had cast away all resemblance of a family; the Weasleys had been so good to him. They had taken him into their home so many times. He wondered where he had gone for the holidays after he had finished destroying his own life along with everyone else's.
Harry flicked through some of the remaining papers, although he didn't find anything terribly specific for a while. It seemed that he had gained acceptance with the Slytherins through Ron's humiliation. He supposed that was how he had become friends with Draco. The papers of course wouldn't tell him what on earth he had been thinking of at the time. He could see that it might have got him in closer with the Death Eaters and it would have allowed his previous friends to be safer, he had to convince himself that that was his reasoning nothing else made any sense. It was a sacrifice that had certainly not occurred to him so far, and so he was left wondering what had happened to him during the time after the Dursleys' deaths.
As Harry's boyfriend, Ron would have been the number one target next to himself, but he was safe and he hated him for it. Harry's spirits were plummeting fast, he had had only one cheery day, and that had only been because of Snape's intimate attentions. He sighed; he had to get away back to his old life, but maybe not for a while. He didn't want to go back and only have to repeat history, watching all of this unfold bit by bit. Maybe this was his chance to do things differently, if he found out as much as he could maybe he could keep Ron safe without having to sacrifice everything. If only he could unlock the secrets of Voldemort's demise he could take the memories back with him. This was Hogwarts; the information must be there for him somewhere, and if it was not written then sometime in the future he would have to get Snape to talk to him. He thought that he would search the entire castle first.
Harry knew though that he would have to take charge a little in his existence in this strange future, for his own sanity he had to gain some control.
Harry had just enough time to get back up to his quarters before he had to begin teaching again. Once there in the privacy of his own room he removed the leg braces. They didn't serve much purpose once he was sitting in his chair and he wasn't going to let Severus make him walk again, it was just too tiring and painful. Besides which, the braces were uncomfortable and bulky when he was sitting and he would be much more comfortable for much of the day without them. He took the crutches from his pocket too and put the miniaturised items away in a drawer.
When Harry attended the evening meal he found that Snape was there but he looked tired and worn. Harry had to consider that he was becoming very much attuned to Snape's moods, seeing subtleties he had never before noticed. He felt some of what Snape must have gone through over the years, sacrificing everything, looking like a complete git for the entirety of the war in order to seem as if he was a Death Eater. Everybody had believed it of him no matter how much Dumbledore had trusted him, maybe that was how it had ended up for Harry. Neither of them could shake it now, they found themselves shut away together in the evenings, the only time they could let their guard down. Snape still behaved horribly but it was hardly likely that he could remember to be any other way when there were other people watching.
Harry felt attuned to Snape and could see the despondency in his eyes, something he had never known to look for before.
"Will I see you in my quarters tonight?" Snape asked Harry alone.
"Yes," Harry replied simply, "Just as soon as I check those corridors.
When Harry reached the Headmaster's quarters he found that Snape was alone. He had sat at his desk to do some work whilst Harry had been doing his rounds but he looked up as soon as Harry entered.
"Where is Marius?" Harry asked looking around as if he might soon discover that the man had merely been hiding.
"I have given dear Marius the night off, he may spend the evening as he wishes and it may well involve a bubble bath and a bottle of wine, or so he said," Snape informed Harry in a voice that was very familiar to him even if the subject matter was not.
"No night off for me then?" Harry teased hardly believing that he was doing it.
Snape looked exhausted Harry observed, "I am tired Harry," He replied.
Harry had to wonder what was going on, Snape was alarmingly lacking in spirit, but then he had to remember that the Headmaster was twelve years older too.
Snape stood up and left his desk, he approached Harry, "Let us enjoy a pleasant evening and then we shall retire to bed."
Snape waved his wand and the relatively bright working light in the room was replaced by a subdued candle light. A soft music wafted into the space around them. Snape was really abusing his magical powers but Harry wasn't complaining. He might have ended up with only Snape for company, but at least Snape was capable of making an effort. Maybe he realised that he wasn't exactly Harry's first choice and had to make the situation less dire for him.
Snape waved his wand again and Harry felt himself swept up onto his feet, Snape wrapped his arms around him and Harry could feel the humming power of Snape's wand against his back. Harry was a little frightened since he knew that he couldn't stand like this on his own.
Harry's feet only lightly brushed the floor as Snape moved him round the room with him in swaying time to the music. It was a bit like dancing but not quite.
Harry looked up at Snape and saw the exhaustion still in his eyes and a bit of something he didn't understand. He wanted to take Snape to bed again; they always felt happier when they were in bed. Harry was pressed up against Snape and he could tell that Snape wanted to go to bed too.
"Take me to bed," Harry commanded still looking up at Snape trying to give his most persuasive look.
A hint of a smile played on Snape's lips, "Certainly."
Harry felt the hum of Snape's wand cease and he immediately slipped out of Snape's hold and fell to the floor.
He fell heavily on his hip straight onto a marble floor, the pain was instantaneous and all encompassing, and he couldn't help but cry out. Immediately he could feel Snape's arms on him, trying to pull him up but every time Snape moved him the pain was worse and he felt as if would pass out or be sick. Snape tried to move him again but Harry lashed out and shook himself free, he couldn't put his words together for anything more coherent.
Harry had his eyes closed and he felt Snape kneel beside him and wrap his arms around him rather than try to lift him up again. Harry leant into the soothing warmth and when he felt a potion phial being pressed to his lips he drank the contents without question. Almost immediately he could feel the effects of the potion, he was so very drowsy, he didn't fight it and let sleep engulf him.
When Harry woke he could tell that it was morning. He was lying in a strange bed again, but it still looked like a Hogwarts one so he didn't worry too much about it. He looked to his side and found that it was undisturbed; it appeared that he had slept alone. Harry tried to sit up so that he could see where he was but he was met with a sharp and stabbing pain in his hip that he could swear extended all the way down his leg. He was reminded of the evening before and what had happened.
He decided not to move again, not till he got some more pain potion.
This was exactly what he hadn't needed, unless someone could help him get into the chair he was stuck and he knew he had lessons.
Harry didn't have to wait long before Snape returned from breakfast. From the movements Harry could hear Snape make, he deduced that he must be in the Headmaster's quarters and the bed that he lay in could well have been Dumbledore's at one time.
When Snape came through to the bedroom to see Harry he looked drawn and pale, and, if Harry wasn't mistaken, a good deal hostile.
"What were you thinking of?" Snape demanded to know as if all Harry had done was destroy another potion for the third time in a row.
Harry was speechless and he could tell that it was annoying Snape but he couldn't help it.
Snape continued with what he had come to say without waiting any longer for Harry's reply.
"What possessed you to take the braces off, why on earth did you not warn me? Is it that difficult? Have you any idea what damage you have caused?" Snape continued to rant, "After all the rehabilitation work, I just don't understand."
"I don't want to bloody walk," Harry managed to blurt out. His outburst caused him pain and in that moment he decided that he hated Snape as much as he ever had.
"Well inform me, as one adult to another, that that is the case," Snape snapped back.
"Do not treat me as if I were still the same child I was all those years ago," Harry managed to snap back, lashing out recklessly despite the fact that it might be against what his future self would do, "As if this miserable life wasn't bad enough."
Snape approached the bed and threw Harry's wand onto the bed covers. "I shall be covering your classes for the rest of the day." He snapped before swiftly striding out of the room so Harry could say nothing further.
Harry could hardly breath, the frustration and anger welled in him so that it was almost choking him and he felt such despair that he thought that he would burst into tears. He had to try and control himself though because every movement angered his hip and he couldn't bear that either. He had not secured a pain potion and he didn't know if Marius even knew what had happened.
