Someone needs to talk about Seth and Dean's relationship. And since they are not going to do it themselves, here's Roman's take. Enjoy!
What the police had found, it turned out, were Seth and Dean's mobile phones. But before that news had made the rounds, Daniel wondered if Roman might just die from a heart attack on the spot.
They tried to get a game-plan for their match started with the road agents, but Roman just stared at the door or the entrance of the corridor, barely hearing what anyone said.
Soon enough, the road agents had enough of that and dismissed all three wrestlers to plan on their own, although from the frowns and the headshakes it was pretty obvious that they were not making any progress.
Slight relief only came when Detective Moore strode through the hall and met another uniformed cop at the door who handed him a see-through bag containing two mobile phones. The young policeman who had shouted in excitement was standing close by, looking defiant.
"Bates, there is no reason, no reason ever, to yell something like that through a room full of… witnesses. It's nice you got the phones, well done, but that hardly justifies that kind of outburst. If that happens again, you can do extra weekend duty with the traffic cops," Detective Moore said, himself much louder than he had probably wanted to be.
Daniel heard disappointment in the policeman's voice – he had fallen for the shout, too, thought they had caught their suspects. Case almost closed.
"Yes, sir!" Bates said without meeting his superior's eyes. "Where were they?" The detective enquired, more quietly and Daniel had to strain to overhear more. The young policeman's answer included the words "hikers", "hadn't even noticed" and "where they got the money and dropped off the belt."
"Roman," Daniel shook the other man by the arm. "Did you hear? They only found the phones!" Suddenly alert again, Roman tried to catch a glimpse of the little bag. "Thank God," he breathed. "And now, let's try to look a little less relieved, okay?" Daniel murmured. But they had almost no time to compose their faces before Detective Moore was upon them again.
Unexpectedly, he did not drag Roman away again, but questioned them right there and then, with their families and the still dejected looking Bates close by. Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel noticed how Brie gave the sad young policeman an encouraging smile.
"You know these?" The detective asked no-one in particular and held up the bag. Roman nodded, the other three adults made non-committing sounds. "The bigger one is the kind Seth owns," Daniel elaborated. "Couldn't say if the other one is Dean's." "I think it is," Roman volunteered.
"Good," Detective Moore said. "See, I'm going to be straight with you. It might come down to where Mr. Ambrose was from arriving in this city – we checked that – up to this morning. 48 hours, give or take. So if you know anything, now you really have an opportunity to help. Even if you didn't see him, where would he have gone? You said he wandered. Anything else? And do you by any chance know the unlock-code of his phone?"
Roman shifted uneasily while Daniel's mind raced. So the police also assumed that the woman's death might be related to the bad client she had encountered earlier. They were trying to tie this to Dean, or, in fairness, trying to eliminate him. But he had no information that could help, and he prayed to any available God that Roman would not give away what they knew.
"When he wandered around…" Roman started out slowly "He would sometimes chat to homeless people. At least he did that when we were still on the road together. Said it was good to talk to… 'normal people' some time. That's what he called it…" Detective Moore gave a cynical smile that implied for Daniel that he would agree that homeless people were a lot more normal than wrestlers.
"He might have hit the gym," Daniel hazarded a guess. "I mean, he had a meeting with Hunter, probably wanted to be in shape. Big part of our lives, working out…" Everyone nodded. "Anything else you can think of?" the detective asked.
To everyone's surprise, it was Galina's face that gave them away then. "Mrs. Reigns, you look like you have another idea, why don't you say it?" Galina pressed her dozing son closer to her chest. "Bars," she said quietly. "I think he would have gone out at night." Daniel nodded in an unsuccessful attempt to make this sound less worrying. "Ah, thanks," the detective said. "Yes, his arrest record makes that look likely. Maybe even necessary?" he looked straight at Roman, but the Samoan had put on his poker face.
"We couldn't possibly say, could we? We hardly spent time with him during the last months," Daniel pressed out. Detective Moore looked at him and Daniel wondered how long until the detective would lose his patience with him. But, for now, he let it slide.
"Bars, gyms, homeless people, well, it's a start. What about the unlock codes? Especially for Mr. Ambrose's phone, but also for Mr. Rollins'? Make no mistakes, we can crack the phones, but you'd spare us – and maybe them - time." Roman shook his head. "Dean's phone – not a clue. But he's the type to use 1111, or a straight line on a touchpad or something. But I really don't know." "And Seth?" The detective prompted. "No guarantees…" Roman sighed. "But if it's a six-figure code, my guess is 744353. He's shit at changing these things…"
The detective raised an eyebrow, but did not ask about the significance of the number. He just made sure the younger cop jotted it down. "One more thing…" the detective looked distracted, but Daniel knew a punch would follow. "I'm just giving you the opportunity to come clean now; we'll check your records anyway. Did you give any significant amount of money to Dean Ambrose recently?" Daniel exhaled quietly. At least it was a blow he had expected. All four of them shook their heads.
"You don't know Dean," Roman said. "He's extremely proud. I offered him money before, when he left WWE, but he always refused. Check whatever you like. I doubt he would take anyone's money." "Interesting, considering Mr. Rollins just took so much money from his bank account around the same time they dumped their phones." Detective Moore raised a skeptical eyebrow again.
"But of course that also tells us that Dean probably didn't have much money on him. Otherwise Seth would not have needed to do that, would he?" Daniel said without time for thought. The detective did not comment this, but gave him a long, enquiring look. Finally, he turned away again.
"Okay, that's it for now, except for one thing. I'm going to ask you to look at two pictures and tell me if you ever saw the woman on them before." The younger cop handed two sheets of paper to his superior. Before turning them around, he looked at the two women. "Please make sure that the children can't see this."
Galina put a hand protectively in front of her son's already closed eyes. Brie moved her body so that the twins, who were playing right behind her, couldn't see anything. The Detective handed her the pictures first and she held them close to her body.
"Oh," she said quietly. "No, I don't think I've seen her before." She showed them to Galina before handing them to Roman. Both just shook their head. Daniel took the pictures last. On the first one, a woman in a low cut black dress smiled into the camera. She was holding a champagne flute and her arm was around a friend's shoulder. Even though the friend was cut out of the picture, Daniel was sure it must be Carolyn.
He looked into Monica's eyes again and wondered if he imagined the fatigue he saw. Still, she had been alive, a friend, a person with dreams and ambitions. The second picture was obviously taken this morning in Dean's hotel room. Daniel could hardly recognize the woman he had just looked at under the mess of shiny bruises. Her eyes were open, her head slightly turned. If Dean had not tried to resuscitate her, Daniel could not blame him. There wasn't the slightest spark of life left.
"I'm sorry, I don't think I've ever seen her, either." He handed the pictures back. Detective Moore nodded. "That's it for now." Daniel made a split-second calculation and then went for it, hoping he had not missed anything. "Excuse me, can I ask one thing?" he said. The detective stopped in mid-turn. "Yes?" "Why… is it so important where Dean was before last night? Did… did something bad happen to the woman – damn, did he officially know her name? - before that time?"
Detective Moore frowned. "Since you seem to be the clever one around here, I think you can figure that out by yourself. No, we don't have cause of death yet, or any precise timing. But I just showed you pictures. How old did that bruises look to you? I think in your business, you can tell." He turned around briskly and handed the pictures back to Bates, who apparently had won the job of asking everyone else about the dead woman.
Alone again, Galina cringed slightly. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to make it look like Dean was… drinking, you know..." Roman put a hand on her back and Brie also shook her head in comfort. "Doesn't matter, Lina. As he said, Dean's arrest records give that impression anyway and maybe we are a little more in the detective's good books for not lying. And…" Daniel lowered his voice. "We know they want to find out if Dean is the guy who hired Monica. If they find someone who saw him in a bar at a time when Monica was with the client, that's great. You all really did not recognize her, did you?" he looked at all of them in turn, but they all shook their heads.
"Anything we can do?" Roman asked into the silence. "I think we'll have to wait for the autopsy report, if that really comes as soon as they hope," Daniel said. "Though I don't know why they would tell us the results…"
"I might have an idea there…." Brie said calmly. Daniel grinned at his wife. "And I guess I know what it is…" He shot a quick glance at Bates, the young policeman. Brie shrugged and smiled innocently. "Got to talk to him a little while you were busy. Small town boy, only recently transferred… misses his little cousins, they are just the same age as Cait, Jonah and Donny…" "You evil woman," Daniel said and kissed Brie's hair proudly.
"I also looked at everyone's neck for bite marks, but of course there was nothing," Brie added. "I mean, probably it wasn't one of us, anyway." "That, or they could always use make-up. You know the stuff they have here is great for covering up bruises…" Galina said. "I got my eyes on our phones," she added quietly. "But there was nothing that might be from them. Wouldn't know what to do in that case, to be honest…"
"Answer and give it to me," Roman said. "I'll take the consequences." "Does anyone have a spare phone?" Daniel asked, but everyone shook their head. "Too bad… Well, we don't know if we will need one."
They got some food from catering and sat back down at the sidelines, watching their children play, the road agents in furious discussion and the police making their way round the room, eliciting only headshakes from their colleagues.
Until they reached Sasha Banks. Even from across the room, it was clear to see that her reaction to the pictures was different and in split seconds, Detectives Moore and Adams were both upon her, ushering her to the sidelines, asking more questions. You hardly saw Sasha scared, and Daniel often forgot how much younger than him she was. Now you could see it plainly.
Daniel could not hear what was said, but Sasha started to use her hands more and more and her voice got louder. The policemen seemed to try to calm her, but their faces were stern. The whole hall had stopped what they were doing to look at them. Finally, it was predictably Bayley again who approached the group and somehow managed to convince the policemen to let her friend go with her.
As soon as the policemen had gone back into the corridor, Roman was on his feet like a shot and Daniel had to scramble to keep up. Roman crossed the hall in no time and was only slowed down when Bayley stepped into his way decisively. It worked. It shouldn't have, but it did.
"Roman, she needs a moment. And calm down, you look like you're about to go to war. She didn't do anything." Over Bayley's shoulder, both men could see that Sasha had found a punching bag and was now torturing it with high kicks. Roman nodded and shifted his stance, relaxing his shoulders. "Sorry. Difficult time," he said.
"Bayley," Daniel tried. "Can you tell us what happened?" Bayley bit her lip. "Sasha saw that woman at our hotel. Maybe. But she's not 100% sure and the police were really in her face about details, and if she could have been mistaken and stuff. Confused her and kind of treated her like she just wanted the attention. Idiots. I don't even know what it means that she might have been at our hotel."
Daniel exchanged a glance with Roman and started to speak, but Bayley interrupted him immediately. "Dan, don't. I don't want to know. I'm sorry. I love Dean, I love Seth. You know that. But the less I know about this, the better. Sasha, me and Paige have been working so hard on that Triple Threat. I just want to focus on that and nothing else." Daniel nodded.
"Do you know when Sasha saw the woman?" Sasha stopped punishing the punching bag and walked over. "I can hear you, you know?" she panted. "Thanks to all the questions, my mind is a total mess right now. But, okay, Ro, I know you must feel like hell right now, so I'll try, for your sake. I think I saw that woman before. Thursday around noon. I tried to check in, my card didn't work. I went back to the lobby and I think she got into the elevator when I got out. I could not see where she went. I'm not even totally sure it was her. I was at first, but then they asked what she was wearing, did she have a bag, if I smelled a perfume, who else was in the lobby at that time – I didn't think about that at that time! Hell, I don't know! I just wanted to help, but they seem to think we all…" she glanced at Roman. "We all just want to protect Dean. I'm sorry, but I don't. And I don't understand what Seth is playing at. Damn, why did I even open my mouth?"
Bayley pulled her arms around Sasha, but Sasha shook her off. "Sorry, not now. Let me get back to that bag." Sasha stomped off, and again, they had the attention of the whole hall on them.
"But, there are cameras in the hotel elevator, right?" Roman said. Bayley and Daniel gave him a sad look. "Forgot that WWE insists on turning them off, because non-kayfabe-compliant stuff might be seen and leaked?" Bayley said. "Damn. Yeah. I forgot." Roman pushed his hands through his hair and down his face. Bayley put her hand on their arms briefly and then went back to Sasha, holding the wildly swinging bag in place for the next roundhouse kick.
They had space now, Daniel noticed as he and Roman went back to the road agents, who shooed them away again immediately. Their colleagues were careful not to get too close - in a few hours, they had apparently acquired leprosy. Even Brie and Galina now sat alone with their children, the few remaining mothers had taken their kids to play a little way off.
Did people think that trouble was catching? Admittedly, it kind of was. He certainly had nothing to do with this, but he was getting deeper and deeper into it. Maybe the others were on to something. Still, he had made his choices.
He followed Roman to the workout area, and again, they were left alone. They did some cardio, half heartedly, and soon stopped and sat down. Again, no-one came even close to them, no-one tried to talk. The hall was a lot emptier now, as apparently a lot of the others had formed groups and come up with reasons to go to the arena instead, out of the claustrophobic atmosphere.
"Roman?" Daniel asked, quietly even though no-one was close. "Can I ask you something?" Roman nodded. "Sure. Always." "You said you don't really know what was going on with Seth and Dean, but… well, you must know something. The three of you basically lived together for years. I'm just trying to make sense of it and I really can't." Roman nodded again. "You know, that's what I have been thinking about. Really, I wasn't kidding when I said we never really talked about this, but, sure… I noticed stuff. More than they realized, especially in the beginning." Daniel gave him a question look, but allowed Roman to take his own time.
"You know, Seth and I started at FCW around the same time, and we could not have been more different. Indie veteran and complete rookie. Honestly, my first weeks, I was just lost. Happy to be closer to my family again, but so far behind pretty much everyone else. Galina and I tried to make a plan how I could make up for the lost time, and I figured I'll try to watch the guys who have the stuff I don't, maybe try to befriend them… and Seth was an obvious choice. That… didn't really work, though." he chuckled softly. "Seth was having none of it. He was nice to me, mostly, but that was that was it. Later he told me he was sure I would not last a year, anyway." Daniel rolled his eyes. "Uh, Seth, nice one. I'm sorry, Ro."
Roman shook his head. "Nah. It's cool. I started out pretty low. I never held that against him. But, you know, because of that, I got used to watching him, watching out for him." And you never stopped since, Daniel thought.
"So, I was there when Dean showed up. Complete Moxley mode. Walls up as high as possible. Of course he knew who Seth was, and Seth knew him. Funny to think that you had wrestled both of them already at that time."
Daniel remembered meeting them, both so very young back then and so very passionate, on their way up, but also anxious whether they could make it big. It seemed like ages ago.
"Anyway," Roman continued, "Dean said something to Seth to provoke him, Seth shot back – they were basically bantering, it wasn't all that serious, but the trainers had had enough of Seth's ego for a while and I think they dreaded another pupil who is just as headstrong – and so they put them in a match, like, right there and then. No preparation, just 'Okay, if you both think you're the shit, show us what you can do!' Didn't work out the way they had planned."
Roman smiled a fond, nostalgic smile. "You know, quite a privilege, I think, that I was there when they had their first match. Special. Learned a lot that day. People actually cheered for them, really, we hardly did that when we watched each other's training matches. But really… what I remember best is how they looked at each other when they were done. They both seemed… thunderstruck, I don't know how to put it. I had never seen Seth like that, happy, but kind of stunned, too. And Dean, well, I had only met him hours before, but all that cool, aloof Moxley routine was out. He was grinning like, well, a lunatic. Threw his arm around Seth's shoulder. And I remember how the trainer said: 'If that's what they manage just like that, imagine what they can do with some practice'."
"After that, it was like they were attached at the hip. And I got that, I mean, they would have great shows together, that would help them to get on the main roster, but… that wasn't it, not really. And I don't know how everyone else missed that. You know, I had never thought about… if Seth likes men or women or both… I just didn't. He had mentioned an ex-girlfriend, but… yeah, I didn't care. Never mattered. But the way he looked at Dean…" Roman shrugged.
"And Dean, well, I didn't know him the way I knew Seth, but something had happened there and I was sure it had happened to both of them. Of course, I only saw that from a distance. It's not like we were friends at that point." Daniel heard the pain in Roman's voice and wondered if he should say something.
"Must have been kind of lonely for you in development…" he hazarded. Roman shrugged. "I was so happy to be close to my family, but, yeah. At first it was hard. 'He's just here because of his family'… All that shit. And I really liked a lot of the guys. I liked Seth. Funny thing is, I even liked Dean instantly. But I had to prove myself to them." He smiled sadly. "Story of my life in WWE, it seems. Got used to it." Daniel just nodded.
"Well, I actually know pretty much for a fact that they… well, that thing got physical pretty quickly between then…" Roman went back to his story. "The whole locker room went out, just days after Dean had joined, and I sat next to them and I noticed they were actually holding hands under the table. I… tried to screen them a little from the others. I think they never found out. They were a lot more obvious than they thought, though I somehow still think everyone was so busy with themselves back then that they probably never noticed. That night, the two of them left together. I was sure then. And it's not that I wasn't happy for them." But you were lonely all the same, Daniel thought and wondered once more about his friend. How to some degree, he had apparently known that those two men who were basically strangers back then could be, would be his brothers one day.
"I wondered how it would go on, for the two of them. Worried, a little. If they would make it official some time. What that would mean for their careers. You know, that was the time though when I really started to improve a lot. And that was what it took to get Seth's attention. We started hanging out more, went to the gym together. Sometimes, I tried to hint that I knew, but…" he smiled self-consciously. "Talking about stuff like that was always hard for me. Never really managed. Dean got a little friendlier, too, but you know, he needs time with people." Daniel nodded again.
"And then…" Roman sighed. "And then I found out that Seth was back with his on-off girlfriend and Dean was picking up girls after shows. I don't know what happened first. I just didn't get it. In training, they just seemed as friendly as ever. Same stupid jokes, same in-depth discussion of Wrestlemania V. I wondered if I had it all wrong and I was glad I never talked about it. Galina suggested that maybe it was just a casual thing for them, no strong feelings involved, but…" Roman saw Daniel shake his head. "Ro, okay, I only saw them kiss once but even I can tell that's not true."
"And it was probably not true back then. But as it was so strange, I really though it's best if I don't get involved. It was none of my business, after all, and I finally got more respect, was treated nicer in the locker room. And there was talk of being called up. And that also changed things. Both of them tried harder to get to know me, we grew closer fast. At that point, I was sure that whatever "extra" there was to their relationship, that was over. And I almost forgot about it. We worked our asses off and finally debuted together. Started travelling together."
"You know, starting out, we usually booked triple rooms, cheaper that way. One double bed, one single bed. We usually battled for the single bed and the two of them always, always backed each other up. One of them got the single bed, I slept next to the other one in the double bed." Roman chuckled. "It must sound really stupid, but back then I just thought that I'm kind of the third wheel for them. They were friends first, they help each other to the "better" bed, they know I'm the weakest link in the team… I was so wrapped up in getting the matches straight, travelling, staying fit, and not going insane with the pressure, I did not think there might be another explanation."
"Long story short, one night I snapped, told them I'll have the single bed now and basically that they could fuck themselves. They huffed a lot, and dramatically went to sleep on the outer edges of the double bed, but finally I had one night without Seth stealing the blanket or Dean kicking my shins into rainbow colors. I finally got one quiet night, and when I woke up in the morning, well, one look at the big bed and I thought: 'Oh. Okay. Of course.'"
"They had curled up in the middle of the bed, arms, legs, blanket all woven into each other so closely that I still don't get how they actually slept like that. Dean's head in the crook of Seth's neck, his hands under the back of Seth's shirt – Seth face and hand in Dean's hair, their legs all wrapped up…. I think I just looked at them for a while. I think I never saw either of them looking that peaceful. Then I tried to sneak to the bathroom as quietly as possible and I wondered – did they try to prevent that from happening or did they just try to prevent me from seeing it?"
"When I came back out, they were awake, on opposite sites of the bed, bickering. But I caught Seth trying to read my face, and I just smiled at him… I hoped he'd understand. Again, I just didn't know how to say it. I didn't want to intrude on something… I don't know. Instead, I didn't let them bully me about the single bed anymore and when I got it, I'd get up early, get breakfast for everyone. Turns out, they would always end up in the same tangle; I think it's something their bodies just did, needed to do, without asking permission. I'd make sure they'd know I've seen them, and I don't care. And when I left them alone, I started telling them very specifically when I'd be back. So they could use the time however they liked."
"But that doesn't mean they ever behaved like a couple around me. They were just like with everyone else, really, most of the time. It was actually months later, when we were abroad, that I saw them kiss for the first time. Seth was completely jet-lagged, had almost killed himself with a botched dive and it would have been his turn to drive us to the next hotel, in the dark, in left-hand traffic. We all knew he should not do it and I felt fine, so I got into the driver's seat and Dean somehow put Seth in the back of the car – but he was completely exhausted, and kept apologizing over and over that he could not drive, I thought he might actually hyperventilate or something." Daniel nodded. He could see that easily – perfect Seth, lost when his body finally cashed in the debts he had taken out on it.
"I fiddled with the GPS," Roman continued, "And when I looked up at the rear view mirror, Seth was still breathing hard and shivering, but Dean briefly met my eyes with that strange look… well, and then I saw how he laced up their fingers, leaned in and kissed Seth, held him as close as he could… Seth froze for a moment and then stared at me in the mirror… I winked at him and he closed his eyes, kissed Dean back and the shivering stopped… I was really happy, then. For them to have each other, but mostly that Dean finally trusted me…" Roman shrugged. "That was a hard-fought battle." Daniel nodded slowly. "I always wondered how hard it must be for Dean, trusting anyone at all when all he knew growing up was that trust means weakness…"
"I think I didn't really understand how hard it is for him until much later." Roman frowned. "Probably everyone was right; I was a bit sheltered back then. But, that night, at least we got that elephant out of the room – well, at least a bit. As I said, it's not like we discussed it." "You didn't say anything?" Daniel asked. "I think I probably said that I won't drive them anywhere until they put their seatbelts on, but that was about it." Daniel gave a small snort.
"After that, I think they kissed in front of me maybe a handful of times, but only when they were drunk or exhausted or both. But…" The way Roman's cheeks colored softly gave Daniel all the hints he needed. He had after all walked in on them once without ever rooming with either of them. "I guess you can't always plan exactly when to come back to a hotel room…" he tried to help. "Yeah," Roman accepted gratefully. "And sometimes you are not as fast asleep as people might think…" he mumbled, almost inaudible. He shook his head briefly as if trying to dispel the blush that was deepening on his cheeks.
"But, you know, even then… there were these really weird moments. You know, I remember that one day when I came back to the room and they had obviously only just managed to get dressed. They were all afterglow… And then we sat down on the balcony and they started a discussion about women and what kind of woman they would want to marry. And about having kids. It was just completely surreal." Daniel considered this for a few moments. "Maybe that was for your benefit?" he finally suggested. Roman shook his head. "Nope. I actually went back inside because I just did not know what to say to that and they just went on." After a while, he added. "And, then of course there were women in their lives. And trust me, that is the one thing I really, really never wanted to question them about."
Daniel found that he could come up with quite a few theories on the spot. He knew of some relationships in the business that lived by the rule of "What happens on the road stays on the road." And he met couples who did not consider it cheating if it was with a same-sex partner. Seth's relationships tended to be pretty volatile, and Daniel had never figured out why anyone would bother with it when they were more off than on. And, of course, Daniel had met guys in completely fake relationships. All of them had to fake so much every day of their lives.
But of course there were less friendly theories. He wondered about the way Seth and Dean had apparently switched their relationship on and off, for so many years. Daniel had read about people who lived double lives to the extent that they could barely remember the other part of their existence when they were in their other role. And they all lead double lives, didn't they? No-one had ever claimed this was healthy, and Daniel knew first hand that dealing with this could take its toll on people. Maybe it made you feel less guilty in a way. Or maybe, just maybe it still made you feel guilty all the time, but quitting would just hurt even more.
Daniel shook his head almost imperceptibly – judging Seth and Dean would get him nowhere. Understanding them, on the other hand, might.
"You think they ever seriously tried to quit their… thing?" Daniel asked. "I think so," Roman answered promptly. "When we were on standby for being called up. I'm sure they were terrified they would lose that opportunity. I would have been, to be honest. But I'm sure there were other times, too, when they really tried." He paused. "You couldn't really tell when they were on or off At least I never really could. But I think I learned to see it when they were apart. When they were off, they were… edgy. The way they looked at each other changed." "For both of them?" Daniel asked. Roman gave a small headshake. "No. Easier to see in Dean. Seth… seemed cooler about it. Usually. He's always been harder to read for me. And Dean's emotions are usually pretty close to the surface. But anyway, I think they never really quit – until Dean left. Really, I thought they would have to figure themselves out by then. But…"
Roman exhaled sharply and Daniel let him collect his thoughts. "They did not meet up for ages afterwards, I know that. And when they did, they fought, but I don't know why. They never fixed it. Not really. The only thing that Seth said was that Dean had shut the door on WWE. I think he took that to mean he shut the door on him, too. Which I always found hard to believe."
Both of them stared into space for a few seconds before Daniel continued: "So, what's your take on all this? I mean, sure, you can't know for sure if you never talked about it, but you must have a theory about what's going on there?" Roman shrugged. "It's hard, really. I know they both care about each other tremendously. But of course there are good reasons not to have that relationship public. I don't know if the Shield would have happened if they had been a couple. And the main roster was the big dream for both of them. And, you know, maybe that sounds stupid… but I think both of them had always expected to end up with a wife and two kids and all that…" "Not the worst life perspective, I think." Daniel grinned self-consciously and flicked a gaze at their wives and three children present. "But that's me and you, and probably does not apply if there's someone you can't quit for the life of you…" he paused, considering this. Considering how painful that must have been.
"You think both of them felt like that?" Roman frowned. "I think Dean might have taken the leap and make this official. Maybe. But Seth… with everything that isn't the job, Seth can be so very…"
„Young?" Daniel volunteered when Roman could not bring himself to choose a word. „Yeah, and that's friendly and you know it," Roman agreed. „That's part of it. I mean, I think he grew up a lot in the last few years especially, but when we started out? If Dean was frightened that Seth would cut and run if he suggested something serious, I could not blame him. But maybe I underestimate Seth. Or Dean did. I don't know."
Daniel's eyes found Brie as he considered what Roman just told him. Could I do that? he asked himself in the privacy of his own head. Share my bed with her, be her best friend on the road, and then let her go in the morning because it might be just "Friends with Benefits" for her? And I might lose her if I try to make her mine, tell the world that I don't want anyone else in my life?
Brie was again in conversation with the young policeman, laughing and tossing her hair back. To his surprise, Daniel found no jealousy in his heart but only fondness and trust. He compared it to the faint ache of imagining Dean's feelings for Seth during their years in the road together. But I guess sometimes you just take what you can get and don't cry about the things you can't have. It's what he would have expected Dean to do. Dean was not proud in that regard. And Dean was used to not expecting much from the people around him. Still, the thought tore Daniel's heart and it was all he could do not to run over and hug his wife and kids. "You think they ever even said 'I love you'?" Daniel asked quietly.
Roman's snort pulled him out of his own thoughts. „I'd bet you any amount of money that they did not. I'm not sure they can. They sure as hell can't say it to me, and you'd think that was not such a big deal. Hey, you know I say that to a lot of people. My family especially, but them, too. They can't say it back, they just make stupid jokes or freeze up. Both of them. They're both fine when it's scripted, or a joke, but when it's serious… I made that mistake with both of them when they were injured and I called them… they were just so awkward on the phone. Try to remind myself not to do that nowadays. I mean it, I do love them, but if it makes them awkward, what's the point."
"I remember when Dean said that he loved Seth in the middle of a match during their feud. I think that really freaked Seth out, even though he laughed it off backstage. That's another thing… I always felt that there was something a little too intense about the way Dean played his feud with Seth in front of the cameras. And even though he would never admit to that, I think Seth was worried for a while that… well, the rift might get real. Though backstage, again, no changes. Business as usual." On camera, backstage, behind closed doors, Daniel thought. Three roles each, three different relationships. He found it hard to wrap his mind around that.
After a while, Roman went on. „It probably wasn't really a smart move, but I actually did try to ask them about their thing. Recently, well, at least after Dean left. I had to pick Seth up from some sponsorship event where the big shots coaxed him into getting fall-down drunk and for some reason I thought that maybe this is my one shot at getting an honest answer. I… asked him what he felt for Dean. He said: "You could never put a label on what we have." Daniel groaned and rolled his eyes. "God, Seth, seriously. That was the best he could come up with?"
Roman gave a miniature shrug. "I always thought at least it's something, isn't it?" Daniel frowned. „That might all sound nice and romantic in a teenage- "no-one understands us" kind of way, but don't you think there's something to be said for labels? Labels help you find your way. You know where you are at with a label. You know what is okay for the other person and what's not. But, admittedly, to agree on a label you would have to have a conversation about it… Christ, 'it's complicated'" doesn't even begin to cover this…" he put his head in his hands for a few seconds, but then went on. "Okay. But you said you asked them, so what did Dean say?"
"He was just as drunk when I asked him. I had just picked him up from jail, and he started telling me that I shouldn't tell Seth what happened, and of course I told him that was stupid because the press would have a field day one way or another. And when I asked him what it was going to be with him and Seth, he just said that he'd fix it. Once he gets back on his feet, he'll fix things with Seth." Roman shook his head. "I believe him. I'm sure he wants Seth back, but not until he can show something for himself. A good acting gig, something wrestling related, anything."
"Sad," Daniel commented quietly. Roman gave him a questioning look. „That he thinks that he alone is not enough. Come on, Seth might have his flaws, but does not think like that. And he's not easily impressed, anyway. He probably needs someone who's just there for him." And in an afterthought, he added. "And maybe tells him how great he is, just on occasion."
Both men smiled at the memory of their absent friend. "Yeah," Roman agreed. „As it is, I think Seth just feels rejected." „And we both know, " Daniel added, „That means he'll just pretend he didn't care anyway. How many video games did he call stupid because he doesn't win every time?" "Yeah, and he didn't mind that he could not drop the WHC back to me when he got injured, 'who wants to loose anyway'?" Roman scoffed. "I wonder if he manages to fool himself with that. But I was never sure if… if the thing they had mattered to him the way it mattered to Dean."
"Well," Daniel said. „As of today, I think we can rest assured on that count. He threw his career away for him. I'm sorry to say it out loud, but he's risking his life for Dean right now. If he can't say it, fine, but don't you think what he did says "I love you" pretty loudly? And Dean must see that, right?" Roman stared into space, the grey eyes looking cloudy to Daniel's mind. "I don't know with those two. I just hope it's not too late…"
They both realized that the policemen inside the hall were getting nervous again. Something new had happened. Daniel felt Roman's whole body tense next to him and he gently put a hand on his arm. "Let's find out what it is this time," he said, trying to put more optimism in his voice than he felt.
Thank you for making it all the way through this (again) pretty long chapter.
Wednesday, we'll take a trip down the a lot less safe-for-work side of memory lane with Seth... I hope you'll be around! :)
