I'm sorry! So very, VERY sorry, but I am so overwhelmed by senior year.
This is a longer chapter to make up for the lateness so…
Enjoy!
P.S- I'm surprised any of you aren't completely confused, because I re-read the previous chapter and I kept thinking 'What the hell was I writing about?' Just in case some of you are, the reason that Jasper's blood-lust has lessened so significantly is because the 'monster' within him now sees Bella as a mate. So it's goal has changed from draining her, to changing her!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight
Chapter 9: Blackout
I waited anxiously at the peripheral of the gymnasium doors, fidgeting with the collar of my button down shirt and attempting to reign in my eager and erotic thoughts.
I had touched her. Touched her in a way that I had never imagined possible. Caressed her warmth, felt the way it quivered beneath my touch, the way the blood flowed beneath the snowy film of skin… And I had left her alive.
…But why?
I knew the answer to the question before the thought had even completely formed.
No matter what I did any more I was losing a raging battle. I either left her alone and suffered through my own torment at the absence of her presence, or I endeavored to remain in her company and slowly, but surely, give into the monster's desire for a mate. A part of my longed for the simplicity of the violent lust of her blood, at least that way I knew where the demon stood. Now I needed her, needed her in much more ways than one… and I knew that the monster's latest pursuit was much more important that it's previous.
The sudden blow of a fresh scent alerted me to Bella's arrival and I spun quickly to face the doors as she lumbered over to me like an angel from a Michelangelo portrait. She was an angel, my angel. A vision of the heavens, if there ever was one. Her hair hung around her sweaty forehead in a beautifully disheveled manner, while the fabric of her winter wardrobe clung to her subtle curves in all the right places.
God, how I wanted her.
She made an awkward attempt at a smile while she slung her bag onto her back and fumbled with the books in her hands. How adorably human she was. How feeble and yet utterly strong she was. Strong to be here. Strong to stand beside me on her second day of school and speak to me as if we had been friends for years. She had so much strength, so much power beneath the fragile exterior of her delicate body. She just had to realize it.
"Allow me," I said suddenly, sweeping her books into my own arms before she had a chance to object. For someone so incredibly insubstantial, she was incredibly stubborn when it came to accepting help.
Her mouth swung open in a preemptive protest, but she slowly closed it again and nodded once in my direction, whispering her thanks.
"Shall we go?" I asked politely, extending a free hand to her in a sudden yearning for her touch.
A sudden pool of blood rushed to her cheeks and she nodded slowly, slipping her scorching hot hand into my own. I hissed in quiet pleasure and pain as I curled my long fingers around her small ones. Shouldn't the very sight of the blood beneath her cheeks cause me to lurch forward in painful blood lust.
React dammit! I screamed internally, wishing for the monster to abandon it's desire of mateship and return to it's lust of sustenance.
"Are your hands always so cold?" She asked suddenly as we moved off towards Biology.
I hesitated for a moment before answering, trying to phrase my words so that I would not blatantly lie.
"…Not always. In fact you'll see that I might be plenty warmer in a few minutes."
She nodded silently, squinting her eyes at the passing numbers on the buildings as if to discern where she was.
"It's building number two," I whispered quietly, steering her towards the large, stone brick building at the corner of the school campus.
"Ah yes, now I remember," She replied softly, wrapping her fingers tighter around my hand as crowds of onlookers stared most unashamedly at our retreating figures.
A crack of lightening ripped through the darkened sky and the same crowd of onlookers screamed in a mixture of fright and delight, running to seek shelter beneath the cover of the nearby buildings.
Bella's heart rate seemed to increase dramatically as the roll of thunder followed soon after.
"Not a fan of storms," I questioned quietly, aiming to keep her distracted as we moved into Biology.
"Not when I'm at home, but when I have no car and I'm in an unfamiliar town, yeah, they freak me out a little."
"Bella," I sighed softly, chuckling a little as we hung our coats on the racks. "Do you honestly think I would just let you walk home in this? Don't be absurd, I am giving you a lift home and if you refuse I am just going to have to walk you the entire way."
She snorted in an almost a challenging manner, but she agreed nonetheless and took her books from my arms before shuffling further into the class room.
It was only then that I noticed Edward sitting at the front desk of the room, eyeing my Bella with a stare that was far more than curious. His emotions danced from intrigue, to dissatisfaction and back to curiosity as Bella staggered forward and took her seat beside Angela Webber.
I could understand his confusion over my apparent presence in the junior class, but why should he suddenly be so captivated by Bella Swan?
His gaze snapped over to my own as he registered my thoughts and he pulled out the empty chair beside him, gesturing for me to sit down.
"Mr. Hale, is there are reason why you're in my class?"
I groaned loudly and dumped my own belongings on the table before spinning to face the always difficult manner of Mr. Banner.
"I'm sorry sir," I droned quietly, repeating the very words that I had spoken to Coach Clapp this morning. "But I have rejoined the Junior class and as such, I've re-enrolled myself in Biology."
Again, there was a ripple of gasps as the students whispered their mutual murmurs of my seeming failure at the senior year. Their were feelings of shock, alarm and not at all to my surprise; satisfaction that one of the Cullens had finally shown failure in the academic department.
"Very well, take the seat beside your brother."
I nodded curtly in appreciation and moved to heave myself upon the metal framed chair, most unwilling to subject myself to the onslaught of questions that I knew Edward would unleash.
"Well this is different," He whispered quietly, speaking much to low and fast for the human ear to pick up. "Since when have you openly admitted to failure, especially one which you have never made?"
I ignored his jab at my self control, and answered with a simple two word answer.
"Since today."
"Oh come on, Jasper," He sighed roughly, tilting his head slightly to better communicate with me. "This Isabella can't be worth repeating Junior year."
"Her name is Bella," I snapped suddenly, "And I must say, that statement is incredibly rich considering you how you were just appraising her."
He snorted quietly but did not press the issue further. Why could he not accept me for who I truly was, faults and all? Why did he have to nit pick at every decision I made as if he knew that he could do it better.
"I don't think that, Jasper."
I pushed a hand roughly through my hair and swore faintly, wanting nothing more than to take Bella in my arms and run with her till the edge of the earth.
"It's an infatuation," He interrupted quickly. "I think you need help."
I gripped the edge of the table tighter, splintering the delicate wood and crushing it into a snowy pulp.
"How dare you tell me what I can and cannot feel," I bit back lethally, throwing the wooden pulp across his lap. "You're the conflicted hundred-and-seven year old virgin vampire. What relationship advice can you possibly offer?"
"Oh right," he retorted just as heatedly, "Because I don't go around having sex with whoever will have me, I have no knowledge of what constitutes a relationship?!"
"Hale and Cullen," Mr. Banner boomed loudly, clearly unimpressed with our interruption of his uninspiring lesson. "Is there something you would like to share with the class? Or should I just put my lesson on hold so that you can finish your very important debate?"
I sneered immaturely at Edward, but remained silent, sensing Banner's frustration.
When neither of us replied, he smiled in satisfaction at his authority and continued his lecture on the cells of plants vs. animals.
"Now I'd like you all to team up for the next experiment. I'll be handing you the stem of the local Aster flower and I would like you to dissect it so that we can study the cells within the leaves."
A deafening crack of thunder reverberated in the hollow room, followed by several shrill screams of fright. The storm was obviously extremely close and the atmosphere in the classroom grew incredibly dense with hormone levels.
"Stay calm students," Mr. Banner attempted to intervene, beckoning for them to retake their seats. "I'm sure the storm will pass, lets just stay away from the windows and continue with the lesson."
A second streak of lightening tore through the sky, followed by an even louder thrum of thunder. The fear seemed to streak higher than the hormones in that moment, as a third lightening bolt split across the horizon.
Then, as if on cue with the vociferous screams of students, every light across the simple school extinguished, leaving nothing but an uncontrolled, frightened collection of peevish pupils.
"Oh great," Edward sighed sarcastically, moving slightly as if to distance himself from the rest of us. "Will you calm them down…"
"Oh right, because I'm going to be able to placate a bunch of teenagers high on the thrill of a blackout."
He eyed me off slowly, before suddenly shifting his gaze towards where Bella sat.
"What?" I asked suddenly frightened, "what's she thinking?"
It seemed as if Edward's face fell slightly in that moment, but it was reserved once more before I had a chance to recognize it.
"No, I wasn't her I was listening to," he informed me reluctantly, "I was listening to Banner, I think they're going to send us home."
I nodded slowly, weighing the pros and cons of that statement.
"But she's okay, right?" I asked again, curious as to why he would dismiss it. "She's not too freaked out or anything?"
A whole minute of silence passed before he turned unwillingly to face me.
"I don't know…"
I spun quickly in my chair to face where she had been sitting, suddenly frightened that she was not there. But there she sat, in the same frightened posture as the girls surrounding her.
"What do you mean 'you don't know?' She's sitting right there!"
"I can't… I can't really read, or see.." He began slowly, stuttering in a most un-Edward like fashion.
"What?"
"…Her mind."
It took me a moment to accept what he had spoken as truth. How could Edward not read her mind? Why should Bella Swan be an exception to a gift which had never encountered issues before?
"I don't know, Jasper. I don't understand why she is different."
A small part of me was overjoyed at this revelation, glad that Edward would never understand such a personal part of Bella. But the other, more protective part of me, was screaming in worry. Apprehensive of what was wrong with her mind.
"STUDENTS!" Mr. Banner bellowed loudly over the screams of the class, clapping his hands loudly in an attempt to redirect their attention. "I've just received word that a very fierce storm is going to hit Forks in about an hour, so I've been instructed to send you all home immediately."
Several cheers of contentment sounded through the class room, followed by a disgruntled sigh from the teacher.
"Yes, well, don't be too happy. This is going to be a bad storm, I wouldn't recommend being out tonight. Once you've packed up your free to go, drive safe."
Every student rushed from their seat in that moment, as if fearful that Mr. Banner would suddenly spin around telling them that he was only joking and they would have to stay in his classroom for the remainder of the day. I watched as the whirlwind of students ran from the class room, cheering songs of praise and running to the parking lot as if it was Spring break.
"I should get home," Edward said conclusively, rising fluidly from his chair and throwing his belongings into his bag in a grace that could never be mistaken for human.
"I'll see you at home then?" He asked quietly, already knowing where my decision laid.
"Yeah," I smiled coyly, unintentionally peeking at Bella. "I've got some things to do.."
He gave me one last fleeting, humorous, glance before slipping elegantly from the room, leaving only Mr. Banner, Bella and myself.
"You ready to go then?" I asked brightly, picking up our coats and walking slowly towards the anxious human before me.
Her bottom lip pursed softly in contemplation and I inwardly groaned at the temptation to reach out and capture that plump lip between my own. She was too desirable, too provocative for her own good.
"Look, Jasper…"
I almost laughed at her then, sensing her rejection of my proposal. She was so unbelievably selfless. Selfless to the point of possessing no self preservation.
"…It's really kind of you to offer, but you heard about the storm, it's going to be really bad. I don't want you driving home and getting caught in that because you had to drive me."
"And I don't want you walking home in it," I rebutted, taking a step closer to her. "Listen Bella, I wasn't joking when I said that I would walk with you. If you refuse this lift, I'm just going to have to follow you home and then we'll both get caught in the storm."
She stared at me quizzically for a long while, her smile growing larger with each passing moment.
"You know you're really stubborn sometimes," She said finally, laughing a melodious sound which ignited a deep happiness within me.
"I guess that make's two of us then," I replied laughing, slipping her jacket onto her shoulders and steering her somewhat forcefully out of the room so that she had no choice but to submit.
The parking lot was all but empty when we finally arrived, all of the students having taken the opportunity to race home. The thunder and lightening continued to crack menacingly overhead and each time it did so, Bella shook violently in fright.
"Here we are," I said proudly, slipping my legs over the hostelry of the bike and passing Bella the large helmet. "Hopefully we'll beat the rain, but if not…"
"You'll just get me wet?" She asked smiling brazenly as she slipped the helmet over her face.
I laughed shakily as my sudden erection throbbed painfully against the metal frame of the bike. Did she have any idea of the impact of her words? Did she even understand the double meaning behind what she just said?
She hoisted her jeans over her hips before heaving one leg over the leather and straddling the waist of the bike.
Oh, how I was wished for her to straddle other things. For her to use her legs for something more than she could possibly know.
Her arms wrapped around me this time without assistance, locking around my torso and causing her to unintentionally thrust forward in an effort to better her balance.
She really would be the death of me.
"You ready??" I asked loudly, hoping for the sound to penetrate through the thick padding of the helmet.
Her head bobbed against my back and I threw my foot against the start peddle, roaring the engine to life.
Well then let's ride.
The road slipped from underneath us as the bike tore through the parking lot, swerving onto the open road and heading North towards her house.
This was heaven. It was most hilarious, really, that this morning I had considered this position to be hell. How could I have ever thought this to be torturous? How could I have ever grimaced to be between her legs the way I was now?
Another streak of lightening illuminated the darkened sky and Bella's hands clawed tighter into my flesh, straying further towards my erection.
Okay, so this was hell now. Having her be so close but not close enough. Having her touch me where she was, but not where she could be. I needed to be closer to her, nearer to her infectious warmth.
A large roll of thunder boomed once more, followed almost immediately by a heavy pounding of rain. It seemed to creep across the sky in unnatural speed, soaking through my hair and clothes and causing the already slippery road to become even more lethal.
I could feel Bella shaking behind me, but it took me a moment to realize that it was not chills which caused her body to tremble, but laughter. She was laughing.
I smiled softly to myself, but then burst out laughing with her. Laughing at the situation, laughing at the rain and laughing at ourselves.
It was not long before the familiar Swan residence came into sight, peeking indistinctly on the horizon at first, but slowly becoming more distinct as the road wore on.
I pulled to a gentle slope at the lip of the drive, turning off the ignition and jumping from the bike in all too-vampire like speed.
Bella continued laughing as she slipped the helmet from her head and grasped my hand tightly in hers as we ran through the torrential rain towards the cover of her patio.
"Quickly," I said in mock impatience as she fumbled with her keys in the door.
She pushed back playfully against my chest and I whimpered in an almost painful pleasure, as her nails dragged slowly across the marble skin.
The door finally gave way under our protest and she ran in immediately, completely oblivious to the effect she'd just had on me.
"Get inside," She said hastily, staring as I stood motionless at her doorway.
"No, I should probably get back…"
"Oh, no you don't," she said earnestly, grabbing the collar of my shirt and pulling me inside. "You think I'm going to let you drive home in this? You'll kill yourself! You will stay here until the storm passes or I'm going to walk you home."
She stared boldly at me, attempting to look menacing as she held her hands on her hips. But in that moment she was anything but menacing. In that moment she was irresistible.
Her wet hair clung to her translucent skin in manner that was beyond sexy. Her shirt, now completely soaked through revealed the straining buds of her frozen nipples, fighting against the fabric and making me all but lose every morsel of self control.
I had never been more turned on in my life.
"I'll stay," I croaked out hoarsely, pushing a hand through my own soaked hair and shuffling past her into the living room. "But I may never leave…"
She laughed softly and moved into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge in an effort to find food.
Oh, how she had no idea of the sincerity behind me words. There was no doubt in my mind that, given the chance, I would never leave her again. But she would grow older. She would age and die, while I would never change. Could never change.
"You hungry?" She asked politely, poking her head from behind the refrigerator.
"No, I just ate."
In many respects, the statement was true. I had eaten this morning… What I had eaten was a whole other issue.
"Make yourself comfortable," She continued, scattering a whole lot of food packages on the kitchen table. "And try to ignore the school photos scattered around the house."
I chuckled softly and meandered over to the small couch, sinking into the pillows and pretending to watch something on the television.
Everything had changed now. The line between what the monster wanted and what I needed was beginning to grow fuzzy. Our desires were merging, our goals becoming one. What ever fights that I had fought with myself would be nothing compared to what I needed to decide on now.
When it came to the issue of Isabella Swan, the battle between myself had only just begun.
Ha!
SSOORRRRRRYYY!!! I hate school, I hate it! Hhhaaattttteee iiittttt!!!!
X o x o x o x o x o x o x o x o x o x o X
