The most interesting part of Malfoy Manor was its cathedral-sized library.

At least, for Jade Lestrange it was. Since it was the only place where her time wasn't punctuated with cold, stern stares from her bearers, or the frequent retribution about her posture, about a fray lock coming out of her neatly tied hair, disrespectfully matching the gaze of her elder while speaking, about looking confused, agitated, happy or sad…or rather showing any imperfectness. Yes, Mistress Malfoy counted betraying emotions as potential weaknesses, since they were always spontaneous and beyond her control.

"Yet you mustn't let them control you, for that only leads to failure and pain."

Jade believed every word her Aunt said and she still did so now. Seeing the world with her own eyes, even without Narcissa's dominating presence, the belief was only strengthened.

Though, it wasn't as if, in the small, hidden corners of her mind, Jade didn't secretly mourn over it. The image her aunt had created of life in her mind was hard, unhappy and dangerous. Thus, out of fear Jade never said more to a guest or relative than a cordial greeting, (that even, if somebody else noticed her and initiated it, though usually, few did.) always avoiding their eyes and did not step out of the front door, until it was absolutely necessary.

This self-induced confinement led Jade to explore the Manor, when Draco would be outside, enjoying with his friends and the elders would be busy in their own dealings; hence finding the precious library, a marble-walled hall, with enormous wooden shelves, laden with hundreds of books; stretching as far as the eye could see. It took Jade two whole years to walk through the entire room, and far more to read every book.

The place fascinated Jade as nothing ever had before, it had a strange ethereal air, where alone, and free, the black-haired girl smiled, wondered and strolled about the mesmerizing rows in open-mouthed amazement, nobody to stop her. Jade discovered the perfect haven, the most exciting of places, not only in the room itself, but in the numerous volumes she read there, living so many different lives, and feeling the different emotions she never had been allowed to feel.

If true passion existed in the world, Jade was passionate about books.

Narcissa didn't mind her niece being locked up in the library, which was one of the reasons Jade, had been able to continue reading; for having an eloquent tongue and extensive literary knowledge was important for a pure-blood woman. When she finally matured, such traits will help her find a good (and certainly wealthy) husband. But the aspiring Mistress did not for see, a change that would take place in her well-tutored niece, when Jade was alone, reading about worlds and people she had believed did not exist in reality.

But gradually it became hard to discern, because the books, had become her reality.

The library was centuries old, a priceless legacy left by Lucius Malfoy's ancestors. They contained everything, from biographies, to old tales, some new beliefs. Typically, many of them spoke mainly of the greatness of the Malfoy ancestors, stories of clever pure-bloods who won massive wars on the base of their tricks, plans and of course, innumerable power. They made Jade wish she could be one of them and while she was still in the Manor only surrounded by the innocence of the books, she prided herself too, on being pure-blood.

Yet, as the Lestrange heiress grew older and dug deeper into the rows and rows of books, she also read about another concept, one which was completely alien and unthinkable for her.

She read about love.

It was always mentioned in all the tales she read, whether mythical or not. Every great wizard or which, even Merlin had a lover, a companion who they shared their lives with. It was always depicted as a fundamental phenomenon; every happy ending was never complete without the mention of a loved one. Neither was it as she only read about love of a couple, the care in a family; the likes of which Jade had never seen in hers or near her, the love of siblings, which she had never felt with Draco although he always considered her as his older sister, or the love of a mother for her infant son when she took a killing curse for him.

Her mother left her alone to find a long-dead tyrant.

Jade never knew who the tyrant was, the only information related to her about him was, that he was the most powerful wizard of all time and was addressed in the household as the 'Dark Lord'. Jade was always curios to know more, but the thin-lipped and severe look on her Aunt's face when she cited the matter, always made her stop.

It was only after she entered Hogwarts and skimmed its library, did she ever know the true story.

After that, she didn't pride on being a pure-blood anymore.

Though, her hesitancy didn't stretch as far to halt her from asking about the alien concept she had discovered, the idea that interested her beyond imagination, something that was so common that Jade though it unusual that her Aunt hadn't revealed it to her yet. She had never actually asked something from Narcissa, except for the explanation of an order, but her inquisitiveness outstripped her fear this time. Plus, Lady Malfoy had been recently contented with Jade, she just might consider answering.

Jade had never expected what happened next.

Narcissa had very slowly taken off her glasses, on the fateful day pf their discussion; although Jade had noticed her abrupt expression of incredulity when she had first mentioned the question. Yelling or a face red with anger wasn't needed to make Jade understand the precariousness of her situation; it manifested itself on her completely by the ice cold answer Narcissa gave her.

"How did such a question come to your mind?"

Jade had hesitated, than forced herself to reply. She could not lie.

"I-I read it in the books of the library."

Mrs. Malfoy's face tightened by a fraction and after a minute's pause she deliberately announced.

"You're not to go inside that place again."

Jade had no explanation for what happened next except the sudden adrenaline rage and sorrow that had run through her at those words, causing tears to suddenly emerge in her eyes, and a rock-hard bulge forming in her throat making her next sentences so difficult that she almost gagged multiple times.

Nevertheless she tried to calm down and reason.

"B-" she gulped, "-But why?"

Nacrissa looked stricken at her retort.

"You dare question me?" her voice had gotten dangerously low, but Jade had long forgotten to care.

"I am only asking why must you do this? I have not done anything wrong, then why should I be punished?" her voice had risen.

"You're not one to decide what is wrong and right. I do not expect such behavior from you Jade; after all my hard work."

"But-"

"Enough. My word is final. Any more and I will punish you!"

Nacrissa stood up from the table and turned to leave, mobilizing Jade to take, involuntary, yet serious actions.

"NO!"

With that dire scream, the flower vase on Nacrissa's right burst apart, showering the floor with bits of glass and drops of water. Lady Malfoy stopped, wide-eyed; it was clear who had caused this and she slowly rotated back to face her. She was still too young to be using magic in such a violent manner and without a wand as well….

"No. You must answer me." Jade breathed, she had also stood up but kept her face hidden in her black bangs.

Nacrissa's face became stony.

"You want to know? Then, I shall tell you. You have failed me, I had thought you would be cleverer than your mother, but I was wrong. No amount of training can overcome the vileness of blood, can it? You're as air-headed as she was. To think of all things books had to give, you noticed the most pathetic detail….what am I supposed to think other than you are unworthy of reading them?"

Jade stared at her Aunt, totally at a loss for words, her expression of pure disbelief.

"I don't understand-" she started.

"I told you to have control over your emotions! I told you that they lead to nothing but destruction! Your mother made the same mistake and look where she is now; rotting in Azkaban!"

For the first time in her life, Jade saw Narcissa's face red and contorted in fury. It put a lot more emphasis on the severity of her crime, which seemed by the current circumstances, unforgivable. She stared at the older woman, fear imminent in her eyes, knowing the worst was still to come.

"It seems," her Aunt continued, her voice now dropping, her gaze a death stare, " that you need to know what being locked up feels like before you understand. We shall meet again at dinner, Jade."

Jade's heart skipped a beat, at dinner; when the whole family would be present, she will be humiliated in front of her Uncle and cousin and then he would set out her punishment. Tears dripped down her face just by the mere thought of what the night had in store for her. Gripping the table with trembling fingers and bowing her head do that she would not see; Jade voiced her last question to Narcissa's retreating figure.

"Love is a feeling too. Does that mean like all other feelings it is meaningless?"

"It is but an excuse for people to carry out their selfish deeds. Nothing but a fleeting fancy. Only People who don't care for themselves follow it."

"But it's real!" Jade protested.

"It is not."

"That can't be true! Don't you love Uncle?"

Narcissa looked at Jade's pleading expression from the corner of her eye, not turning back a ghostly smile on her lips.

"No." she said softly, "Our marriage and the marriage of everyone else in our family, was arranged to reap the most benefits, for personal gains; and" she paused, widening her smirk, "so will yours."

"So don't be foolish enough to believe in tales that would destroy all of us; remember, we are your only family," her voice softened, "the only ones who truly care about you. Understand?"

Jade gazed into her deep, dark eyes, emotions slowly draining out of her and she calmed, felt her breathing even. Everything made sense now. Bowing her head down again, but this time in a gesture of respect, she acquiesced.

"Yes, Ma'am."

That night, Jade had spent in the cold, musty cellar, which was more like a prison, atoning for her mistakes, as her Uncle had calmly outlined to her at dinner. It was the most oppressive dinner Jade had had at the Manor, she had not been able to lift her head off her plate for fear of showing her pathetic face to anyone; even the house-elf. She had never felt so ashamed of herself.

"It's good that you understand Jade," her Aunt had stated when she locked the door, "but you need to learn like this so you won't be compelled to do so again."

"Yes Ma'am." Her forlorn voice had replied.

The black-haired ten-year old had never cried as hard as she had when Narcissa left, in the silent and bare cellar. She had not slept at all, just kept rocking back and forth as she released her pent up sobs. Here, where her Aunt won't be able to rebuke her again and see; that no matter how hard she either of them tried, Jade could not control her emotions.

It was better to release them all now, before anybody could see and use them.

Jade believed her Aunt. Love didn't exist, or she wouldn't treat her so. Love didn't exist, or Bellatrix would have never abandoned her two-year old daughter in a crazy search for her lost Master, risking both her life and freedom. If blood relatives couldn't love her, Jade didn't see anybody else doing so.

They were right. She couldn't risk herself. She couldn't risk getting attached to anyone.

Six years later, shivering in her bed out of utter frustration in her bed, on a pitch black night; Jade Lestrange made the same mistake again.

She feared she had lost herself. She feared she had become attached to someone.

Yes, I know. Totally worthless chapter after the cliffhanger I gave you.

Next one will be better.

Though, friendly question, what are you expecting to happen?

RxR!