Chapter 9: Because You Weren't There (part 1)

House stepped off the bus to the station and waited. Wilson was going to come pick him up at any minute now, and then he would be off to go get something for Cuddy. He didn't know what to get her yet, but he just knew that he should get her something. Besides, he was going over there tonight to surprise her, that in itself should be enough.

As he limped through the crowd of people, searching for his friend, he thought about what he had just been through. The last six weeks of his life had been spent rebuilding his life. Now, he was starting over, this was his new chance to do everything over and do it right. Never before had he thought like that. It had never occurred to him to do all the things that scared him, to take a risk here and there for the sake of his own happiness and enjoyment in life. He didn't have to be afraid to be happy. Getting hurt was no longer the worst thing that could ever happen to him. Yes, he was still leery of all those things, but he had learned how to handle it.

"House!" Wilson called over to him, trying to get his attention.

House looked over and smiled. Without a word, he started in his direction. "Lonely without me?" he questioned.

Wilson took his suitcase for him and started leading him to his car. "So, how was it there?" Wilson implored.

"Personally, I thought everyone there was crazy," he replied.

ooo

Cuddy stepped out of the hospital and looked around. She knew what today was, it was the day that Wilson had taken off so that he could go get House and get him settled into his apartment. House was back. There were some mixed feelings that she had about his return. The good part would be that, she had House back in her life. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed him with her, he kept things from getting boring and she was worried about him over at Mayfield. On the other hand though, she was going to have to talk to him about what had happened right before he left, the fact that he had thought that they had slept together and then went ahead and announced it to the entire staff. That was the part that was going to be awkward.

Now, as she made her way to her car, she kept her head down. Tonight, she wasn't going to be able to go over and see House, she already had made plans with Todd before she even found out about his return. Even though she did feel bad, she knew that she would see plenty of House tomorrow when he came back to work.

Stopping dead in her tracks, she looked up. It had finally dawned on her. House. He had feelings for her, and he didn't know about Todd yet. She knew that he would be jealous. He got jealous when she would go out on a single date with a man, let alone getting serious with someone.

Instead of dwelling on the current problem, she hastened to her car and went home. There was no reason to stand there, trying to figure out how to solve the unavoidable problem. House would find out about Todd and he would get jealous. There was no way to prevent it. The only sensible thing she could think to do, was just to wait and talk to him about it tomorrow after work. That way he wouldn't have to find out through other people.

ooo

Cuddy rushed home from work. The more that she thought about not going to see House tonight, the more guilty she felt over the whole thing. Yes, he was her friend, well as much of a friend that House could be to anyone. He was also the man that had feelings for her, and as much as she hated to admit it, the man that she had feelings for.

Going to see him tonight though, just wasn't going to work. With Todd coming over, she wanted everything to be perfect. Her mother had Rachel for the night, and anytime that Rachel was gone, that meant that they got to do whatever they wanted, when ever.

Sitting down at the dining room table, Cuddy took a vase and started arranging the flowers. Such a tedious little thing, but it had to be perfect. The silence began to surround her, and that was when she started thinking. That day, six seeks ago, that very day when House stood there, shouting to the hospital that they had slept together. He really thought that they had slept together the night before.

Cuddy sighed and sat back in the chair. The flowers were perfect, but there was something still bothering her. It was silly, but she felt as if she were doing something wrong. All she was doing was getting ready for a night with her boyfriend, and she felt guilty. NOt just about not seeing House on his first night back, but something more important. It was like she were going behind House's back and cheating on him. Maybe in a way she was. When he should have been one of her top priorities, she was at home playing with flowers instead. Maybe she should have told him about Todd a while ago. There were a lot of things that she could have done differently, but it was too late to go back and fix anything now.

Reluctantly, she stood up and forced herself to move on. She had to start getting dinner ready and get showered and changed. Todd was going to be over in a couple of hours.

ooo

Todd showed up to Cuddy's place around seven that night. He made his way up to her porch and knocked on the door. To him, the whole dinner and everything wasn't such a big deal, they had been out to dinner and all of that, it was what they were going to do afterwards that he was really looking forward to.

"Hi," Cuddy greeted, opening the door.

Todd smiled and stepped in. "Hey sweetie," he responded. Stepping in, he looked around, and easily, he could tell that she had been getting the place ready for tonight. Personally, he found it a bit silly, but it really didn't matter. As long as she was happy with it. "Did you by any chance get the bed room ready too?" he questioned.

Cuddy smirked to him. "Come on, dinner's almost done," she stated.

Todd looked around the place and then followed her into the dining room. Of course, this room too was all fixed up. The food though, smelled good. That mattered to him. "What are we having?" he inquired.

"Lasagna," she replied. She had only briefly stopped to see him sit down and then quickly moved back into the kitchen to make sure that she didn't burn dinner.

Once she was away from him though, her smile instantly faded. That same excited feeling that she had for him awhile ago just wasn't there anymore. It faded. It was like she was little and she would get a new toy on her birthday. She was all excited about it when she first opened it, and she would constantly play with it. As time went on though, that brand new shiny toy grew dull and she would get bored with it, only to look forward to getting something new next year.

The only reason that she stayed with him anymore was because he was comfortable. He was dependable. Todd was the updated, better version of Lucas.

Recalling Lucas, she thought back to how they once talked about marriage. To how the idea of being Lisa Douglas once appealed to her. Even that though, was more heartfelt than what she had now. Not once had she thought of herself as Lisa Harrison. Lisa House though, that had a nice little ring to it.

No. She couldn't think like that anymore. The best sounding name was Lisa Cuddy, and she had to stick to that one for a while. Maybe she could try out Lisa Harrison later when she wasn't feeling so guilty over all of this.

Cuddy turned off the oven and sighed. This 'perfect' night, wasn't working out as well as she had originally planned.

Ooo

Todd sat at the table for a second, but once he was sure that she was preoccupied, he snuck back out to the hall where his coat was, right before the door. Taking a look back to make sure that she couldn't see him, he reached into the pocket and pulled out a small box. He had gone out to get her something that he thought he should have gotten her a long time ago.

He took the box out and slipped it into his pocket. This was something that he had to do tonight. It just felt right to him.

Ooo

House stood in his new bedroom as he got ready for the night. Wilson had told him not to go, but that was just Wilson. Besides, he was out at the store right now, getting some ridiculous things that House had sent him out for.

House stood before his mirror, making sure that his tie was just right, that his coat looked nice enough. He even shaved. Once he was ready, he snuck over to Wilson's bedroom and grabbed some money from his hiding place in the box on the dresser. Now, he was ready to head out.

He grabbed his cane and headed down to the bus stop. First, he had to stop and get her something and then, he was going to finally gain the courage to tell Cuddy what he had been wanting to tell her for the last twenty years.