Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Chapter 9
It didn't take long for the world to wonder why Hiro had left the industry, moved back to a place they had no idea existed and started to work his way back to the top, in a different field, something so completely different from what he was used to. The news started printing about their speculations, some were so off mark and some—hit too close to home.
The first week after Hiro had settled in San Fransokyo, the media couldn't stop reporting about the reason why Hiro left Hollywood and most of them speculated around the 'break-up' with Tadashi. Hiro had to smile to himself sometimes, bitterly, at the thought that they did break, in some parts, just not like how they were speculating.
The agency he worked for kept a tight lid to where he had 'disappeared' to. Hiro knew he let most of his fans down, most of the people who had brought him to where he stood now but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He felt so worn out that the minute he was crossing the familiar bridge he hadn't seen for so long, everything that he thought he could outrun came back crashing into him like a tsunami.
The memories of the past painted itself as he passed the familiar streets, passing by the familiar stores, the places he used to visit when he was a child—he felt horribly nostalgic. Halfway, he had a hard time remembering why the hell he left this place. He knew he was still hurting and he could probably be hurting forever because he didn't think he would get over his parents' deaths. But he couldn't recall the exact reason as to why he left this place.
It had been a month since he left, and the paparazzi were still out looking for him, even though he made sure he kept his profile low. The old neighbourhood welcomed him with warm smiles and gifts, and they didn't seem overwhelmed with his appearance. They treated him like he was just this kid they had known since he was young, this kid that tragically lost his parents when he was young.
And Hiro—he liked this normalcy. He sighed as he jogged down the stairs, heading to the kitchen where his aunt was making coffee. "Good morning, Aunt Cass," Hiro greeted her as he kissed her cheeks before he leaned against the counter.
"Morning, Hiro," she said with a warm smile. His aunt looked vibrant ever since they moved back to San Fransokyo. She was happier, he noted, her smiles always wide and bright. The cafe was an instant hit once they finished renovating and opened it. The customers enjoyed her pies mostly and her coffee.
Hiro was glad that she was achieving her own dreams. "What are you going to do today?" Cass asked as she handed him a mug of coffee. Hiro took it with an appreciative smile and sipped on the coffee.
"Well," he said with a tentative shrug. He watched her closely before he said, "I'm thinking of checking out the lab."
She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at Hiro as her eyes widened. "Really?" she asked. "Hiro, are you sure?"
Hiro shrugged again, feeling numb suddenly at the prospect at going back to the lab. "Yeah," he said resolutely at the end. "I have to do it some time, so why not now? It's been a few years already. I think I can do it."
"If you think so," she said slowly. "Before you go to the lab, don't forget to visit them, okay?"
Hiro's smile dulled at the edges. He nodded solemnly as he closed his eyes, trying to block out this short pain in his chest. His parents were inventors. Maybe not as famous as they should have been, but they made the world a better place for Hiro anyway. It made the ex-actor feel grateful that he was brought up in an environment where there was science.
But he couldn't bear to think anything remotely close to that when his parents died. He didn't want to expand his knowledge in science even if he did have a gift for it. But now that he was back, now that he had left all of that behind him, he was going to start fresh, starting with the lab his parents owned.
When his parents died, they had given the lab to Hiro, it was their only prized possession at that time. The ex-actor knew that the lab was still filled with his parents' things. He didn't step into the lab after his parents died. He didn't think he could, with their memories waving through each item.
Now, he was ready. The pain in his chest flared. Maybe, he was ready, he corrected himself. He shook his head from the thoughts before he opened his eyes, a hand landing on his shoulder. He looked at his aunt before he smiled again, assuring her that he was fine.
"Do you want me to come along?" she asked.
"No, if you don't mind, I…I want to see it first," he said. His aunt stared at him for a second before she nodded at the end. "Thanks."
"And along the way, you should think about pursuing your studies," she said, changing the subject. She squeezed his shoulder before she dropped her hand to her sides. Hiro rolled his eyes as he looked down to his feet.
"Do I have to?" he asked, his voice coming out whiny. "I mean, we have enough money to last forever!"
"Hiro, you know how I feel about education," Cass said. "But it's up to you. I just feel like it's a waste of your intelligence if you don't put it to good use. Your mother got her doctorate as the tender age of nineteen. At your age and your father, oh, your father was so smart, he was just a genius in numbers. You have that gift, I know it. You graduated from high school when you were fourteen, Hiro."
Hiro couldn't help but to smile at the memories of his parents. He knew how smart they were, even if they were forgotten at the end of their time. "I know," he said as he looked at Cass. "I'll think about it. I promise."
"Okay," she said, satisfied with his answer and slapped his shoulder playfully. "I have to start with the cafe. It's a Monday, tough crowd to please on Mondays."
Hiro cringed at the thought. He had witnessed the morning crowd on Mondays. It wasn't pleasant and by the time it was noon, they were both exhausted from catering the customers. "Do you need help?" Hiro asked.
"No," Cass said quickly. "I hired somebody. It should be fine."
Hiro raised his eyebrows. "You hired somebody? Who? Do I know them?"
"Ah, her name's Abigail," Cass said with a smile. "She's just working part time until she finishes her masters in SFIT."
Hiro whistled in amazement. "A genius, eh?" he asked, smiling widely.
"That could be you too, just saying," Cass said as she shrugged with a smile on her face. Hiro rolled his eyes before he pushed himself away from the counter.
"I better get going," Hiro said as he started to walk out of the kitchen. Cass wished him goodbye and Hiro could hear the underlying good luck in her tone. He simply flashed her a grin over his shoulders before he disappeared from her view.
Hiro had stopped by the florist before he headed to the graveyard. He actually stood at the gate, not entering the compound as his heart started to beat heavily against his chest. He hadn't been here for such a long time. He didn't want to come here, in fact, he made sure he stayed away from this place. When he had moved away, he didn't follow his aunt to the graveyard whenever their death anniversaries came around.
He didn't think he could stare at the cold stones, reminding him that they were six feet under the ground without a care in the world. He felt his eyes watering as he took in a shaky breath, his grip around the flowers tightened.
There it was, this familiar ache that he had thought he had left behind all those years ago. But he was old enough to face reality, his reality. He wasn't going to be in pretence anymore. He had covered himself in a mask all this while, and it didn't help him at all, in fact, it made accepting the truth even harder.
He took in another deep breath before he walked into the graveyard, walking with determined steps to where his parents were buried. There, Hiro spotted the gravestones. They were clean, looking new as if somebody had been taking care of them. Hiro couldn't help but to smile gently as he stood in front of the two tombstones, next to each other.
"Hey," he said, after what seemed like an infinity of silence. "Hey, mom, dad."
He then crouched down to his knees, placing the flowers against the cold stone. The wind blew at him as if it was caressing him. It made this situation even more melancholic. He couldn't help but to chuckle hoarsely. He didn't dare to touch the stones, his hands shaking as he bawled them into fists on his lap.
"So, here I am," he said with a gentle smile. "I mean, sorry, I didn't visit you guys for so long. It wasn't like I wanted to stay away. Okay, maybe I did. But…it wasn't because I can. I just…couldn't face you guys." Hiro clamped his lips shut when he felt the tears gathering in his eyes. He was about to cry, he could feel it. "You left me with your lab. I didn't even see the lab since you guys died. I can't. Anyway, I miss you two. You two didn't know this, maybe you felt it, maybe you've seen it on my face, but I always thought you two were my heroes. Geniuses in disguises, you know?"
He then sat on the grass patch, this time he let his fingers touch the cold stone. He patted them both, feeling like that child again, the child he was when he was with his parents. The tears slid down his cheeks, and he could only let them come down. "I miss you guys a lot. I love you two and I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I didn't pursue my true potential. I'm sorry I broke your hearts when I ran away. But I'm here now. I'm here now, and I won't leave you guys anymore."
He could feel their hugs, and he could imagine their smiles on their faces as he closed his eyes. He just wished they were still here with him, most of the time. "Cass is great and all, but it's not the same, you know? Just wish you guys were here."
He caressed the stones again. "I," he started. "I also got my heart broken again. Well, it was my fault. I mean, I fell in love with him. Who knew, my first love is a guy. But he's pretty cool, you know? I hated his gut when I first met him. He just seemed like a showoff but then…I learned about him, and I realised, he wasn't so bad. I fell for him at the end but you know what's funny? He's not in love with me. He's in love with his best friend, and she's beautiful. She's really beautiful."
Hiro felt a sob threatening to take over him again as he shook his head and rubbed his face. "God, I feel so pathetic. How did you two even dealt with this pain? It hurts to love somebody. I left him, you know? Without telling him, I just left him. I can't see him be happy with someone else even if I wanted him to be happy. God, I never been this selfless before. It hurts. I hate it." He laughed brokenly as he took in a deep breath.
"Is there a way for me to stop feeling this way about him?"
But the only response he got was the calm silence. He tried to stop the tears, tried to stop feeling like he was being squished into pieces. It took him some time until he could finally push away this pain to the back of his head. Tadashi's face flashed into his mind. He had heard about the man once in a while. But there was no official news about Tadashi or how he took the news about Hiro's disappearance.
Gordon called him last week, just to tell him about how things were there but they didn't talk about Tadashi and Hiro didn't ask him about the man. The ex-actor didn't want to know about the taller actor anymore. He decided he wanted to move on, just forget about the man who without knowingly broke his heart. "I think you two would've loved him," he said absent-mindedly to his parents.
"If you met him, you would've loved him."
The small building came into view as Hiro drove past the street. There it was, right there, waiting for his arrival patiently. He parked his car and he just sat in the car, not moving. He didn't think he wanted to move yet. He was so exhausted already, emotionally and mentally. He felt like his heart had been torn into pieces and glued back together.
But he was glad in some ways because now, he could finally move on. For now, he could finally acknowledge that he was done with this pain. Because now, he could finally be back to himself without caring much about what other people thought about him. He didn't want to care anymore.
He got out of the car and locked it before he turned his attention to the small building, all alone at the corner of the road. It looked abandoned and the white colour of the building was peeling off. He smiled ruefully to himself as he walked to the building, placing a palm against the wall before patting it.
"Sorry," he said to it, as if the building was offended with him. "I wasn't ready."
Now, he was ready though. So, he took in a deep breath and placed his palm a few inches away from where he patted the wall. It took a few seconds for a light blue laser to appear an inch from the tip of his fingers and scanning his palm. Then, a door-shaped frame appeared next to his hand, sliding open with a silent hiss.
Hiro smiled as he dropped his hand and took in a deep breath. He then walked inside, almost immediately the whole building lit up. The computers started running and machines were turned on.
"Hiro Hamada, welcome back," a voice from the ceiling spoke. Hiro blinked at the voice, remembering vaguely that his parents had installed a prototype artificial intelligence, AI, in the lab. Heck, this whole place was like a dream come true for a spy agent. He personally imagined himself as some sort of spy whenever he was allowed to follow his parents to the lab.
"Yeah," he said gently. "It's good to be back, Baymax."
The voice was named Baymax. He didn't know why his parents would ever name the AI as Baymax, but Hiro had learned to love that name. It was also the name from the Big Hero 6 movie, the nurse-bot. Hiro knew he had been the one to introduce the name to the writer when they inquired everyone what to name the bot. He just forgot why he chose that name, until now. He couldn't help but to imagine a white balloon marshmallow like robot if Baymax was given a body, just like how the character in the movie would be. He would probably look really cute and Hiro had half a mind last time to build a body for the AI before his parents died.
"Would you like a recap on how some of the apparatuses work?" Baymax asked. Hiro couldn't help but to chuckle as he started to walk around, surveying the long-abandoned lab.
"No," he said. "Sorry, buddy, for not coming around."
"It is…expected," Baymax said slowly, as if gauging Hiro for his reaction. "The Hamadas have been missed dearly."
Hiro felt something getting stuck in his throat as he chuckled dryly. "Yeah," he said. "So, what have you been up to while I was gone?" Hiro asked, changing the subject. He knew that Baymax would have gone hibernating over the years, but it didn't stop Hiro from making small talk. His parents had worked on Baymax for so long until they deemed that this AI was it. This AI was the one, ready for the world but before they could release Baymax for public discretion, the tragedy happened.
So, Hiro didn't pursue that dream and abandoned everything, running far away from this field. "I have been keeping a track to what is happening to the world and you, Hiro."
Hiro grinned widely. "Oh?" he asked as he stopped to stare at the main computer, noting that he should switch on the computer. "And what did you find out about the world and me?"
"You have been acting," Baymax said in what Hiro would've known as a disapproval tone. Hiro couldn't help but to chuckle, his heart suddenly warming up. There was so much familiarity that his parents had installed in Baymax, including human-like emotions even though the AI had a five-year-old curiosity. It was refreshing, Hiro noted. He missed this.
"I have," he said. "Oh well, I had."
"I know," Baymax said, this time sounding confused. "It seems you have gone missing according to the tabloid news. Is it because of your apparent 'break-up' with the other actor, Tadashi Takachiho?"
Hiro stopped trying to turn on the main computer, freezing for a second. His heart thumped loudly against his chest before he sighed. "Can you keep a secret, Baymax?"
"Of course," Baymax said, sounding even more confused. "You are emitting high levels of frustration. Is there something wrong?"
"Stop scanning me, Baymax," Hiro said. Baymax seemed to quieten down, waiting for Hiro to speak. "You could say Tadashi had something to do with the disappearance. I was in love with him, he didn't feel the same way, and I left." He tried to summarise it as shortly and painless as possible, but it still made him cringe at the end.
"It is true then? Tadashi and Hiro have been romantically involved?"
"Not really, we were acting," Hiro said with a shrug. "Something the agency wanted us to do so that we could gain more fans. But ah, it didn't turn out that well for me, so here I am."
Baymax didn't say anything and for a second, Hiro feared that Baymax was going to contact the tabloid news to tell the truth when, "Your secret is safe with me."
Hiro sighed in relief. "Well, now that's cleared off, let's start reviving this place, Baymax."
"Yes," Baymax said, agreeing. "It has been too dark for too long."
"Sorry," Hiro said, wincing in guilt.
Baymax didn't say anything but Hiro suspected that the AI was pleased with his apology. Hiro took a look at the files that were saved up in the main computer, noticing that there were huge projects in there that never made it alive. He frowned gently as he sat at the dusty chair near the main computer, his fingers itching to bring one of those inventions to life.
He caught to one project, a project that ultimately would change the world given the chance. His eyes widened as he read through the file. If his parents had managed to successfully bring this invention to life, they would revolutionise the medical industry.
That was why Baymax was created. He wasn't supposed to just be an AI, he was supposed to be more, supposed to be a human saviour of kind. A nurse-bot, Hiro muttered in his mind with nervousness and anticipation. Just like from the movies. It sounded so surreal because look at this, while someone else had written a movie about supposedly nurse-bots turning heroes, his parents had actually thought of making a nurse-bot for real. It could help a lot of people, make nursing sick people to health even better. Heck, this could open large opportunities for more discoveries and cure.
But there was a huge problem ahead and it began with Hiro's lack of knowledge on medicine or anything near robotic. He didn't actually pick any of these up after his parents' death and now that he was here, he began to realise he needed to study.
Aunt Cass was probably right. He needed to study, he had to pursue his studies if he wanted to continue on his parents' research. He bit his bottom lip as he stared at the folder. "Hey, Baymax? How do you feel about a body?"
"A body?" Baymax asked, puzzled. Hiro couldn't help but to grin, though he felt the slight tremors of nervousness starting to bloom.
"Yeah," Hiro said slowly. "A body."
"You little piece of sh—"
"I'm sorry!"
Hiro closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip as he tried to prepare himself for the verbal abuse from Gogo over the line. He knew he had left her behind as well, not even bothering to let her know that he was giving up the entertainment industry. He knew that she was with him at every step of the way and she was the only one who truly understood him when nobody else did.
And he felt guilty that he had left her behind in this state of confusion. But he had no choice, he wanted nobody to know where he was and that included Gogo. However, now that he had a month to adjust to his non-famous lifestyle, he decided to come clean to her.
So, he called her up, as he was walking around the neighbourhood where his lab was located in. "You little—I fucking—You know what, Hiro? Fuck you. We're not friends anymore."
Hiro sighed gently under his breath. "I'm sorry," he said gently under his breath. "I know you're mad but…I—can't let anybody know where I was going. I needed to break free, Gogo. I needed to breathe."
Gogo remained quiet at the other side. "I know," she said finally, her voice low and regretful. "I know what the fame did to you, wrung you dry of happiness. I know, I see the spark in your eyes dying every time I see you and when you left, I just…I don't know what else to think!"
"I'm sorry," Hiro said as he stopped walking, just taking in a deep breath as he stared at his feet. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."
"Okay," she said finally. "But if you pull something like this again, I'll make sure you'll get a good beating from me the next time I see you, brat."
Hiro smiled as he ran his fingers through his hair, relief washing into him. "Noted," he said. "How's things there?"
"If you're asking how things are after you left? Still the same," Gogo said flippantly. "You're not that important, Hiro."
Hiro laughed, feeling the soft tremors of warmth covering him. "I'm glad for that," he said. "I didn't want them to target me anymore."
Gogo laughed with him afterwards. "I miss you," she blurted out suddenly, catching Hiro off guard. The young ex-actor stopped laughing, the laughter dying in his throat. He blinked at the sentence, his ears burning red at the confession. "And…yeah. I miss you a lot."
"I'm sorry," he said again. "I should've told you."
"I told you it's fine," Gogo said gruffly and Hiro could imagine the embarrassed look that would be adorning her face by now. He cracked a grin as he shook his head again and continued to walk. "How are you?"
"I feel better," Hiro admitted though the truth didn't amount that much. "I went to visit my parents. I'm thinking of starting school. Who knows?"
"That's good," Gogo said slowly. "But how are you really?"
Hiro thinned his lips as he looked at the ground. "The same," was his only reply.
"I'm sorry," she said slowly under her breath. "I…I know it must hurt."
"It feels like I'm being torn apart into pieces," he admitted as he chuckled dryly, the humour leaving him immediately. "I fell in love just like that and now, I'm getting hurt just like that. I feel like I'm expandable, you know."
"You know that's not true," Gogo said, her voice sharp. "God, Hiro. You're an amazing person. Don't let one person drag you down."
"I'm trying not to think about him," Hiro said quietly. "But at night, when I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling, he's all I can think about. Why is it so hard for me to let him go? I never had that problem before."
"Maybe because you never cared for him like how you care for someone else?" Gogo said.
"I trusted him," Hiro said at last. Gogo sighed gently. "I told him I didn't trust him. But I did. I told him he was hurting me and I left him thinking I hated him. And I did it because he's in love with Honey and just—"
"I," Gogo started, cutting him off. "About Honey. Hiro—"
His heart stopped beating for a second when he realised what Gogo was trying to say. "No," he started. It had only been less than two months since they broke up. Could it be? "Gogo? Are you saying what I'm—"
"She confessed to him, Hiro," Gogo said under her breath. "She told him about how she felt last week. They're—they're together, Hiro."
Hiro went still for a whole second before he ended up chuckling harshly. He gripped his phone tight as his eyes blurred. "How—how do you know?"
"I…It's news between the co-stars here," Gogo said slowly. "I'm her costar. In this new movie and you know the audition that you didn't take? Tadashi got the role by default and Honey is the main heroine and…I'm so sorry, Hiro. Everyone here knows already and they aren't being discreet either."
Hiro didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. His heart just thumped loudly against his chest and he couldn't help but feel like he was drowning again. "I gotta go, Gogo," he said. He didn't even wait for her to respond as he cut off the line. He stood at the pavement, staring at the ground, scrunching his eyebrows at the news settled in his mind.
They were together. Right after they broke up. Honey and Tadashi, finally together.
His hands shook as he raised it to his face. For the second time that day, he realised he was crying. There was no sob, there was no shiver or anger, instead, he just felt resigned. The tears kept on pouring out of his eyes as he blinked. He was breaking apart again, he could feel it in his heart.
He continued to walk, ignoring the tears still running down his face. Then—just as he realised he had begun running instead of walking, the pain crashed into him like a ton of bricks, catching his breath. Hiro almost tripped and fell on his face at the sudden pain in his chest.
It hurt, he noted dully in his mind. It hurt so badly.
He hadn't even known that he had run all the way back to the cafe. He only knew that suddenly, he was entering the cafe, panting, his legs aching, his chest painfully squeezing his last breath and his vision obstructed by the tears and sweat. "Hiro?" Cass said, as she approached him, her face scrunched up in worry. "What the—why—what's wrong?"
Hiro right then ended up sobbing, the pain flared heavily against his chest. Cass panicked a bit and before she could do anything, Hiro wrapped his arms around Cass and hugged her tight, burying his face against her shoulder. "Why can't this pain end?" his voice cracked halfway.
Cass immediately stiffened in his embrace. She then patted him gently at his back before she pushed him away from her. "Hiro, come on," she said gently as she touched his arm and brought him into the living room. She pushed Hiro to sit on the couch before she sat opposite of him on the coffee table. Hiro simply watched her, his face still blanked out of emotions even if he felt the opposite.
She sighed before she placed a hand on his cheek, caressing him before she smiled warmly. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice low and quiet. "Hiro, what's wrong?"
"I," Hiro started, the tears gathered again at the edge of his eyes. "He's—I—I can't do this anymore. Make this pain stop, please."
"Hiro," Cass said. "I can't, honey. I'm sorry. I don't know how to stop that. I can only offer comfort and hug you. But talking helps, it always helps. Please, talk to me. Is it—is it Tadashi?"
The name tore a new one in him. He rubbed his face with his hands, his entire body shaking from the pain and resignation. "He moved on," Hiro gasped out. "He's with Honey. Gogo said they confessed and they're together and Aunt Cass…I feel so…small."
Cass hugged him then, wrapping him and bringing him close to her own comfort. Hiro let himself cry hopelessly like some idiot who had given up his heart for naught. He didn't think being in love could hurt this much and he thought that if he left Tadashi, maybe he wouldn't have felt like he was dying if this happened. The problem was, it hurt worse. Worse than it ever did before.
"I love him so much," Hiro said. "But I can't do anything about it. I can't love him so openly and I can't see him anymore. And I know I'm supposed to be happy for them because they deserve each other but—I just can't watch this happening, they happening in front of me."
"I know," Cass said gently, running her fingers through his hair. "God, I wish you could forget about this pain too. I wish you could move on too but nothing is ever easy, love. I'm sorry you're hurting."
"I can't breathe," Hiro said. The tears stopped finally even though the pain was still there, like a fresh cut. It was like he was back to square one. He couldn't budge away, couldn't move on like he was supposed to. That was why he left everything behind, that was why he came back home. But he was getting roped back into this black and white wound.
"You have to breathe," Cass whispered under her breath. "You're not that weak-willed. You can do it. You'll heal."
"I wish I can hate him," Hiro said. "I wish I could just hate him. Things seemed so simple when I believed I hated him. I feel so exhausted. I feel so tired, Aunt Cass."
Cass didn't say anything, just continuing patting Hiro until he calmed down. Hiro felt the fight leaving his body, as if he just gave up and in some ways, he did. He closed his eyes, the last few drops of his tears escaped his eyes. He hugged Cass back tight, his mind reeling around the memories he shared with Tadashi. Even the bitter ones had a gentle caress to them before they turned bleak and painful.
"You okay?" Cass asked.
"No," Hiro said with a soft dry chuckle. "I don't think I'll ever be fine."
"Love does that to you," Cass said absent-mindedly. "It's a curse and a gift. Can't live without it—and can't live with it."
Hiro didn't comment about it, but he grabbed onto the words and held them tight like it was his mantra. He didn't think he would ever become so dependant on someone before, but here he was, wandering like he had lost his limb, had lost a part of his soul.
"He needs her," Hiro said gently after a long silence. "He misses her. He wants her. I watched him pining first hand. They'll last for a long time."
"But you wish it was you," Cass said, reading his mind.
"It's stupid of me," Hiro said as he pushed himself away from Cass. He looked at her as he tried to smile, but it just came out broken. "It's dumb to think that someone would want me." Cass only shook her head and dropped her hands to his shoulders, clutching his shoulders tight.
"I want you," she said seriously. "Your parents wanted you. Your friends want you. The future people you will meet want you. Don't ever forget, you're not all that alone, okay?"
Hiro couldn't find it in himself to agree with her. But he only nodded dully, even if he didn't believe it. He stood up, gently pushing Cass's hands away from his shoulders. "I'm going to my room." He glanced at her aunt for a second before he walked away, jogging to his room and slamming the door shut. He slid down to the floor, his back against the door and stared ahead with a blank stare.
He couldn't help but to laugh a bit, brokenly as he found his situation pathetic and maybe slightly hilarious in a hysterical way. "Well," he said to himself quietly. "I shouldn't have been so surprised."
It didn't take long for Hiro to realise that the paparazzi had caught a sniff of Tadashi and Honey's relationship. Before he knew it, the tabloids were reporting of their relationship when they were caught kissing at the beach by accident. Hiro only chucked his iPad across his bedroom floor, sighing loudly as he snuggled himself into his pillow.
He knew he was acting like a child with a pitiful jealous tantrum but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Tadashi looked so happy with her and Hiro knew that they would fit well together, like two pieces of a perfect picture puzzle. He was never a part of the equation.
Hiro wished that sometimes, things went his way for once. He wished for once that he could forget this feeling in his chest. It had been a week since he had known about the relationship before the paparazzi found out. He tried to work past this pain, started to spend most of his days at the lab, talking to Baymax and figuring out the mechanics on how to start with that nurse-bot project.
He even dropped by the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology to get the requirements of enrolment in Robotics. He left the enrolment letter on his desk when he got back to his bedroom, already digging through his past high school records to find the results he needed to enrol and to his short-lived happiness, he realised he was more than qualified for the school.
Hah, Hiro still had it.
But then the pain would come and crawl back into his chest at night and he was back thinking about Tadashi and Honey and how perfect they were in his eyes. He hated this feeling in his chest and he always felt pathetic by morning at himself.
His smartphone rang in the middle of his thoughts. He grumbled and grabbed his smartphone from next to him, noting it was Gogo calling. Hiro was tempted to ignore her call, feeling slight strings of anger towards her for letting him know about this. But he also knew that she wanted him to know for his own good, for his own best and not because she was trying to act cruel.
He sighed as he answered the call. "What?"
"I'm sorry," Gogo apologised almost immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just—I didn't want you to find out through the tabloids like that and…"
"Did he," Hiro started, his throat closing up with the words. "Did he even—did he even look for me?"
"Hiro," Gogo started.
"I know we didn't have anything special, it was all an act, I know," Hiro said furiously as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair. "But—I—Why did you tell me, Gogo? I didn't want to know. I could've lived without knowing this fact and now I'm…I'm hurting, goddamnit. I hate this. I feel sick knowing he's with her."
Gogo remained quiet for a while and Hiro thought for a second that she was thinking, until he heard sniffles. He froze when he realised that Gogo was crying. "Gogo?" he questioned. "Gogo, are you crying?"
"No!" she said, but her voice betrayed her words. Hiro almost immediately felt guilty, biting his bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Hiro. I just didn't want you to get shocked. I…I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Hiro said with a sigh. "I know what you were trying to do. I—I'm sorry I lashed out on you. I'm just—"
"I know," Gogo said with a broken chuckle. "Hiro, you're going to be fine."
"Will I?" Hiro asked dryly. "Because right now…I don't feel like I'm ever going to be fine."
"Time heals everything," Gogo said quietly, as if she was speaking for herself more than for him. Hiro licked his lips and nodded gently. They remained silent for a while before Gogo sighed. "Where are you?"
"San Fransokyo," Hiro said, knowing he could trust her with his current location. "I'm in the heart of San Fransokyo."
"And nobody found you?" she asked sceptically.
"I live well in the heart, more like so at the heart that I'm overlooked," Hiro said with a smile. Gogo chuckled from other side.
"It won't be long before someone spots you and reports finding you, right?" she asked, though he knew she was worried for him.
"I know," Hiro said with a shrug. "I'll deal that when it comes."
"I'm sorry," she said again. Hiro smiled warmly this time.
"I know," he said. "I forgive you."
Cass watched him out of the corner of her eyes, Hiro noticed, as he sipped on his coffee and filling up the university application form. "I'm fine, Aunt Cass," Hiro said as he looked at her and smiled before he went back to filling up the form.
"I'm just…worried, that's all," she said gently. Hiro stopped writing for a second, letting her words to wash into him before he shook his head and placed the pen on the paper.
"I'll be fine, I guess," he said meekly, shrugging before he looked at his aunt. "I doubt he even looked for me, or wondered why I went missing."
Cass only frowned gently at her nephew but she didn't say anything else. Hiro licked his suddenly dry lips nervously and went back to the form. "So, what course are you applying for?" she asked, changing the subject. Hiro sighed in relief before he flashed another smile at his aunt.
"Robotics," Hiro said. "I want to study Robotics."
Cass sounded pleased as she hummed out her response. Hiro felt his cheeks reddening at the approval and rolled his eyes. "I won't even be accepted, you know."
"I doubt that, but for now, just try it," Cass said happily as she stood up. "I have to start opening up the cafe."
"Right," Hiro said as he stood up from the chair as well, grabbing the application form and necessary documents from the kitchen table. "I should turn these in."
"Good luck," Cass said as she walked around the kitchen table and hugged him tight for a second. "I'm proud of you."
Hiro grinned widely as he nodded and walked away from his aunt. He looked down on the form and took in a deep breath. He could only hope he would get accepted to this prestigious school. His parents had graduated from SFIT, it just seemed befitting he get to do that too.
He could only hope.
It didn't take long for Hiro to receive a letter of response from SFIT, declaring him that he was officially enrolled and accepted. The young ex-actor could barely contain the grin and laughed brightly, his heart warm for the first time since two weeks after the news. "Aunt Cass," he mumbled to himself as he rushed down the stairs, heading to the cafe.
"Abigail," he found the girl, the new helper Cass hired, minding the counter. She looked at him with a bright smile. "I got in!"
Abigail at first was overwhelming, especially since she realised she knew who Hiro was. The young ex-actor had to tell her, had to convince her that he didn't want anyone to know he was here, that he wanted a fresh start and he needed that to happen. She smiled at him pitifully as she nodded, agreeing to shut up. Soon, Hiro learned that she was indeed brilliant, charming and she could be serious one second and crack a joke in the next.
She was extremely matured too, despite her tender age. She was obviously not as young as Hiro, probably around her mid-twenties, but she was thoughtful and she seemed to understand him. Hiro found that she also inspired him to try harder to study at SFIT. It was nice, knowing that someone with likes of his intellect was out there.
He was convinced afterwards that that school was for him. Abigail only rolled her eyes. "I knew you were gonna get in," Abigail said. "You're a genius, man."
Hiro couldn't help but to blush at her compliment. "Where's Aunt Cass?" he asked.
"Cass went out to order more supplies," she said with a shrug. "She'll be back in an hour."
Hiro nodded as he looked back to the acceptance letter in his hand. He caressed the letter in his hands, feeling like he was one step closer to his parents, to his heritage. He could be normal, he realised after a second. This was his chance to enjoy his life, take things slow and not rush anything.
It was time to live like his age. He felt the soft thrums of anticipation running through his body. "You know, if you go to school, people are going to recognise you, right?" Abigail said, catching his attention. Hiro immediately froze at her sentence because—that was true. Was he ready for people to see him in public?
There was no way he could ask for discretion from the whole school. He sighed gently under his breath. "I'm willing to risk it," he said finally. He couldn't let go of this opportunity, not yet. This was his chance to learn in an environment his parents did. He would do anything to know his parents a bit more, and this was his chance.
He was not letting go of this moment, even if—he didn't dare to think about how he would be discovered. Hiro bit his bottom lip as he crunched his eyebrows. "You can do it," Abigail said finally. "You've done it before, haven't you? It takes guts to leave behind an environment that secures your future to try a new road. And even if it fails at the end, you'll be leaving satisfied and happy that you've at least tried something new."
She smiled at him encouragingly and Hiro couldn't help but to feel like she was right. Hiro looked at her and nodded, with renewed passion. "Yeah, that's true."
Abigail only smiled brilliantly at him.
When he started his first day in SFIT, he knew he would be recognised immediately. As he walked down the hallways, he realised people were staring at him, whispering and some were looking at him as if he had appeared from the dead. He found that he hated this attention because, this was what he was trying to leave behind.
As he went to his first class, he was immediately surrounded by some people in his class, looking at him, asking him questions to bright introductions of themselves. Hiro smiled politely at them, one by one until they left him alone when the professor walked in. He sat down next to someone, sighing under his breath, knowing this was just the beginning of this problem.
"Hey, you're Hiro Hamada," a voice next to him said in astonishment. Hiro cringed and sighed again before he looked at his left, smiling tightly at the person, who looked back at him with only a surprised look.
"Yes, yes I am," Hiro said before he added, "No, I didn't die."
"What?" the man said, confused for a second before his eyes widened and he laughed, nervously. "Oh, no, man, I didn't—just didn't think you were interested in…this. I mean, yeah, ah, never mind, just rambling to myself. Happens with new people and environment and god, shut up, Wasabi."
Hiro raised his eyebrows at this person next to him, amused at his rambling. "What's your name?" he asked, feeling like maybe, this guy wasn't so bad. The man, looked at him from the corner of his eyes and licked his lips before he shrugged.
"Wasabi," he said as he averted his eyes away. Hiro guessed if his skin colour was lighter, he would've seen him blush. Hiro raised his eyebrows again at the name.
"That's your real name?" he asked, trying not to sound offensive because really, it sounded weird, yeah, but it was also unique.
"No," Wasabi said as he sighed defeated and looked at Hiro. "But whatever, it isn't like anybody is gonna call me by my real name anyway."
Hiro bit his inner cheek from commenting how cute Wasabi looked as he pouted. Okay, no, Hiro wasn't going to sound like a creeper. "It's unique," he said. "I like it."
Wasabi had that face again, that embarrassment and astonishment look, as he glanced at Hiro. With that, he smiled, this time, genuine and hesitant. "Thanks. People usually laugh or look at me weirdly when I introduce myself as Wasabi."
"I can see why," Hiro said and quickly added, "But I like it. No worries."
"Thanks," Wasabi said with a now proper relieved smile.
Hiro then realised, he wasn't so bad. As the class progressed, Hiro found out that even if everyone around him knew who he was, he was still being treated with respect and with the same level of attention as everyone else had and he—started to like it. Wasabi slapped his shoulder as they walked out of the lecture hall. Hiro looked at him as he rubbed his shoulder.
"Sorry, I always wanted to try that," Wasabi said. Hiro couldn't help but to burst out laughing at that and Wasabi only looked progressively embarrassed. Just when Wasabi looked like he was going to run away, Hiro shook his head and placed a hand on the man's shoulder.
"No worries," Hiro said. "If you want to try a bro pat, just don't do it so harshly next time."
Wasabi calmed down and simply cracked a smile of his own. "I'll try not to."
And Hiro realised, this was his first friend here. He could get used to this after all.
There wasn't any paparazzi swarming him, though that didn't mean he wasn't being recognised from right to left now. He wished it would stop, but there was no controlling the media, and soon, he realised when Gordon called him while he was on his class break, that some of the celebrity magazine companies found out where he was.
"Ah, great," Hiro said dryly as he sighed and looked at his sandwich. The university's cafeteria was quiet since it was past lunch hours. It was a calming place to be at this hour, just to avoid people's stares and whispers. "Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later."
"I was rather hoping later," Gordon said, drier than Hiro's response. The young ex-actor simply smiled at that. "I'll try and make them think it was a false alarm, but there's only so much I can do before the paparazzi find you."
Hiro cringed at that thought and sighed loudly. "Like they had anything better to do. I'll just get a restraining order."
"That didn't help much, remember," Gordon said, jogging his memory to the last time he had a restraining order on this journalist. It didn't end well because even with the restraining order, the journalist found a way to get near him. God, he hated the cameras and their obnoxious questions.
"I can almost imagine what they're going to ask," Hiro said bitterly, his heart lurching painfully.
"Why did you want to start studying now anyway?" Gordon asked, his tone curious. "It's a pretty bad time to start, you know."
"Just wanted to learn," Hiro said. "I have to do it sooner or later, so I chose to get this over with and do it now."
"You're one bold kid," Gordon said.
"And a brat?" Hiro teased and Gordon simply laughed.
"No doubt about it."
Hiro decided to revel in this calmness before the storm hits. He knew that the moment the tabloids started to write about how they had 'found' the young missing actor, things weren't going to be calm. Hiro guessed he had to go through this one more time before he could finally leave all of this behind.
Cass didn't like it when he told her about this predicament but she simply nodded, knowing herself that this was bound to happen. The young ex-actor was in the lab today, working on the coding to get Baymax a body. "You're gonna be a marshmallow, buddy," Hiro said with a teasing tone.
"Marshmallows?" Baymax asked.
"Yeah, white, cuddly, cute," Hiro said. "Would you like that?"
"Is this for a body? A body for me?" Baymax asked, sounding curious.
"Yeah," Hiro said, replying with a smile. "So, tell me, you wanna be humanoid—no, being humanoid won't probably work."
"Why not?" Baymax continued to prod.
"Because," Hiro started before he sighed. "Because then you'll be too handsome, or too cute, unless you want to be a girl, then you'll be too pretty—and you'll end up being an attraction instead of a real nurse-bot. So, yeah, no. You're going to be a marshmallow."
"Oh," Baymax said. "Yes, I can see that becoming a problem. Would you mind if I drew out the schematics of my looks based off the marshmallow model?"
"Go ahead," Hiro said as he continued to code. "The more ideas, the better. Just imagine, you can finally get to have a body. Isn't that cool?"
"It does have a certain appeal to it," Baymax said in what Hiro guessed in his pleased tone. Just as he was about to continue coding, his stomach started to grumble loudly, alerting him that he was done for the day if he didn't get something to eat. He sighed loudly and annoyed as he stood up from his chair, stretching himself.
"I'm going out to buy something to eat, Baymax," Hiro said as he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulders. "See ya in a bit, buddy."
"See you soon, Hiro," Baymax said as Hiro walked out of the lab, the background darkening as he walked onto the sunlit pavement. He wore his sunglasses as he took in a deep breath. He pulled out his car keys, well, more like his aunt's since now they only owned one car.
Just as he was about to take a step forward, a hand landed on his shoulder, turning him around harshly. He stumbled a few feet from the harsh turn and immediately took off his sunglasses, irritation flared in him at the indignant move to touch him. "What the fuck—"
But the words died in his mouth when he realised who it was, standing in front of him. His mind blanked and his mouth went dry. He straightened himself and took a step back, the hand on his shoulder dropped. Those familiar brown eyes stared right back at him, with the same level of shock.
"Hiro?"
Oh, what the fuck.
Hiro felt his heart beat picking up pace as he took another step back. His brain started to work again and without even acknowledging the person in streak of fear and panic, he rushed to the car and got in. He quickly drove off, not even sparing another glance at the person, who was standing at the pavement and watching him leave.
He was now chanting in his head to calm down, just to calm down but he couldn't help but to panic even more at what he had witnessed. "Oh hell no," he whispered under his breath as he kept on driving, unsure of where he was heading to. "Oh no, no, no, not now. Why now?"
As he stopped at a red light, he realised with a dull ache in his heart that this happened. This actually happened.
Tadashi found him.
