Chapter 9

Chapter Song: Miss You- Ed Sheeran

I spend the entire evening wishing that I'd asked for her address. I've left 3 messages on her answer phone and texted her twice as many times. I don't understand where it went wrong. I mean, I'm out of the practise of kissing but I couldn't have been that bad, she seemed to be happy. I so desperately want her to text back, to let me know that I still have a chance, that she made a mistake. I don't want to sound desperate so I throw my phone across the room, purposefully looking away so I don't see where it lands. I'll hear it if she texts back.

I busy myself by taking a shower, loosening all of my tense muscles in the warm water. I shave, hating the bronze beard that grows if I'm not careful and grab a beer from the fridge. I order pizza, not in the mood to cook this evening and curl up on the sofa under blankets and warm sheets that are so contrary to the coldness I feel.

None of my distractions work. I still feel hollow inside, the memory of that mind-shattering kiss still fresh in my mind as I try futilely to lock memories of her into the back of my head. I don't want to miss her. I wish I was colourblind so I wouldn't miss the colour she brings to my life. I wouldn't miss the bright red dresses, the deep brown eyes, the sugar white skin, the mahogany hair, the jet black skirt, the bright explosion of her kisses and the more subtle glow of her presence. Now that I've had it, it's so much harder to live without.

I haul myself over to the other side of the room, where I left the phone. After a couple of minutes searching for it, I find it on top of the bookshelf. Turning the screen on, the green light flickers.

No new messages.

It's like she's pretending that I don't exist. It's no change from everyone else. I feel let down, I thought she was different. She is different to the rest of the world though. She's beautiful and funny and smart and I can't get her out of my mind.

Ding-dong. The flat tones of the doorbell reflect perfectly the flatness of my insides tonight. I pay for the pizza with a ten and a five, exchanging pleasantries with the pizza boy. He can tell that I'm not in the mood for conversation and he politely excuses himself. I check my phone.

No new messages.

It's like this for a week, checking my phone bear constantly, only to be met with an empty inbox. I text her everyday. Everyday it's the same message.

"Hey beautiful. Hope you had a good day. Bella, I hope you're reading this realising that I'm missing you. I miss your smile, your face and the feeling I had while you were kissing me. Did I say I think I love you, cause I know for sure now that I do. If you're reading this, maybe we can meet up sometime. Maybe coffee after baseball. I'll be waiting. I'd wait forever. Love, Edward xxx (:"

I know it's sappy and I know that it'll probably be useless, but I have to try something. I have to try everything. I fall asleep every night at 11:12, after spending my 11:11 wish on her.

"I wish I could see her again," I whisper, falling further into unconsciousness.

Stephenie owns all of the people in this story, I just made my own take on them. I will post more, I promise. Laura xxx :)