The dark lord of an unspecified modern thing

Disclaimer: Percy Jackson belongs to Rick Riordain. All trademarks are properties of their respective owners, respectively.

Well, Oranos is back, I now have my father's nose in more ways than one, and for some reason, Josh is wearing some pants that I swear used to belong to me. Huh. Weird. I don't get this. I now have so called guardian "guy who died over thirty thousand give or take years ago." And apparently he's to blame for humanity. I think, I think I'm neither good or evil. I think, I'm just jaded. Just jaded. Back to my life!

"Percy, what happened on the ship?" asked Josh. He was looking at me strangely. It was almost calculating...or maybe he just developed a facial twitch. That sometimes happens when he tries to look at things from a normal person's perspective. Usually he then claims the wall looks exactly the same. Then it turns into a debate about weather or not everyone sees the same colours and then we're really fucked.

"Long story." I said. "Let's just say I need to go find my dad's body now."

"No you won't." said Alex. "Percy, I don't think you realise what just happened there." Woah. It must be important. Otherwise he wouldn't wait for me to get though a severe life threatening situation before telling me.

"How can you be back this quickly anyway?" asked Thalia. Hmm. I was wondering about that myself.

Oranos grimaced. "You've never seen a god or titan die before have you Thalia?" he asked, falling into a step. We followed cautiously. Something about him, was unsettling.

"When the kind of power a god wields is destroyed, something in the fabric of the world has to pay the price. I'm the symbol of time. When, I fell, all areas which are affected by magical time were send into overdrive and flung back. We just so happened to be in one of them. My body, was only partially damaged. I believe that's how Zeus got his titan army out past Hades. But he was lying. He hasn't gathered all the titans. Only a few of them. The worst ones."

We reached a mountain. It was strange. I guess Grover would have loved it but, it's just a bit too natural for me. The entire mountain, was green. As if the mountain was extremely nauseous. Maybe the mountain had walked in on Clarisse while she was showering. But, how would a mountain walk into a bathroom? How would a mountain walk? Why am I asking myself these questions? Anyway, back to the scenery description. Anyway, we were now walking through a thick and thriving forest. Most of the plants had close to giant leaves. Something was really strange about this forest.

"Welcome." said Alex. "To the forest of the amazons."

"Why is it so close to where the Princess Andromeda was?" asked Annabeth.

"That's what we're going to find out." said Alex. " He obviously wanted something from them. We need to find out what. The amazons have access to just about anything."

Josh was walking along causally. I wondered if his parents knew were he was? "Percy." whispered Annabeth. "What happened to you during that fight, thing?" she asked.

"Annabeth, I'm, I'm confused." I admitted. "I was thinking about something Kronos said. About how humans are messing up the planet. It's just that, that Grover said pretty much the same thing. Remember? When were out searching for the lightning thief?"

"Yeah." she began uncertainly. "But, they meant differently didn't they? Grover wants to help us. Kronos wants to destroy us. Grover wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Yeah." I agreed. "Still it was a little"

"Be quiet." said Oranos suddenly. "Someone else is here."

"Is she hot?" asked Josh. Wait! How did Josh know it's a she? I'm starting to get a bit suspicious about my supposed mortal friend... or did he just make that assumption based on the fact we're in the forest of the amazons? I will never know.

"I don't know." said Oranos. "It's either a god or a goddess. Or some huntress. Be quiet and follow." said Oranos, and we walked onwards through the dark and completely friendly looking forest.

We walked in complete silence for about two hours. Alex sometimes shot random bursts of fire through the trees and Annabeth kept nervously clutching her knife. Josh kept laughing at the funny pasterns some of the plants leaves make. Thalia tried to kill him twice. Finally we reached the huts of, wait, why is their a giant corporate headquarters thing in the middle of the huts?

"Welcome, to the home of the amazons." said Alex. "That's where they run their damned website."

"What website?" I asked.

"Amazon. com." said Oranos. "Duh. Anyway, lets go."

What the. Okay what the hell. "Wait, I thought headquarters' was in Seattle." I looked at the in an inquisitive way. Now I need someone else to look at inquisitively to tell me what inquisitive means. "I heard rumours and decided to find out if they were true." she said. "The Hermes kids told me all kinds of stuff. But usually they just want to laugh as you call Nike and demand that they stop using Nymph labour." Okay then.

"With enough money you can make people believe anything." said Alex. Several of the amazons walked forwards a she approached. Most of them were woman and wore business suits.

"Greetings Lord Prometheus." said one of the woman. She had long red hair and broad shoulders. "I'm the Ceo and Chieftain of our fair village. We are honoured by your presence. Is there any particular reason for your visit?" she asked, in a crisp voice, the kind business people use when they want you to know they're about to ruin you, but you have no right to be offended about it.

Alex looked around. "I take it Artemis is here?" he asked.

She nodded slightly. "I shall take you to her." She started walking at a slowish pace towards the large building. That's when my battle shaped attention span came in to seventh gear. You know how you sometimes feel unconscious as you're walking? No imagine that, except, you notice everything. When they're ceo moved, about twenty woman in army gear with a mixture of shot guns and semi automatic rifles moved through the forest. They were really good. I only noticed most of them when Josh pointed at them. Damn. I guess courtesy is mandatory here, unless you are low on iron and need to eat some hot lead.

The buildings automatic doors slid open. "Something is wrong with your titan." said Josh, smiling weirdly. He was looking at Oranos. "He seems hurt." It was strange but Oranos was holding his side slightly. It was hard to see.

"So how does your uh, village work?" asked Annabeth, looking around the building in awe. I'm no fun of fancy architecture, but I know big companies have fancy fountains and marble floors. This place had the works with a mixture of marble and steel roofs. There was also a room that we passed full of old weapons.

"We have a ruling business confederate." said the Ceo. "We started the website as a way for half bloods to acquire rare items, and when we realised how effective and profitable internet business could be we branched out. We now primarily use our profits to increase the area of wilderness we own." Hmm. Weird. "Here you are." she said stepping aside and letting Alex and Oranos enter first. Me, Thalia, Annabeth and Josh followed.

"My lady, some visitors request your presence." said the Ceo/Chieftain. Sitting on a throne, or a very fancy chair was Artemis. She was wearing her usual army pants with a black shirt and old lace shoes. Her blonde hair was tied back with a bandanna.

"Hello Artemis." said Alex politely.

"Sup." said Oranos, inspecting his finger coolly.

"Dude, she made a pact." said Alex. "About the whole, you know, thing."

"Oh, right." said Oranos and gazed at Artemis politely.

She gazed at them coldly. "What do you two want?" she asked.

" Casltevania 4." said Alex.

"Your love." said Oranos.

"A device, possible quite small, filled with wine gums." said Alex.

"The best damn thing." said Oranos.

"A lawn depressing service." said Alex.

"Why would you want a lawn depressing service?" asked Oranos.

"So my lawn can cut itself." said Alex.

"You should call Hades. He has a scythe. He should be able to help you cut your grass." said Oranos.

Artemis sighed. "I hate you both." she said. "If you're just here to make sad attempts at humour, then you should leave. Before I get angry. " It sounded like this kind of thing happened a lot.

"Just kidding around." said Alex. "Now, why was Luke and his little monster army here?"

Artemis looked up. "Why do you think they've been here?" she asked nervously.

"We think they want to crush the amazons." said Oranos. "There are only so many left who could even try to mount a resistance against Kronos' army. I'm afraid if Luke's army is ready to take on the amazons, then it's over." All of us stared at him. We had never lost. He was acting as though we were the ones doing badly in this war.

"But can't you two deal with them?" asked Thalia. She looked, as usual a little disgusted by the ways the god/ slash slightly modernizing titan fire guy were acting.

"Do you think what we did on that ship was an actual victory?" asked Alex he was looking at me with a mixture of pity and anger. It created a weird expression. "We did exactly what he thought we would do, and I'm sorry you paid the price for it." said Alex, looking down slightly. All three of us looked at him questioningly. "I'll explain when we're back at camp again. When we're safe." Alex suddenly turned around to face Artemis as if nothing had happened.

"So Zeus and Kronos are definitely attacking you then?" he asked.

"Yes." said Artemis. "He's nearly succeeded in beating us."

"Ah." said Oranos. "So he's attacking you with monsters, turned half bloods and minor evil deities?"

"Worse." said Artemis. "He's attacking with corporate buyouts, mudslinging in the papers and selling our stock at discount price. If it continues he could force us into bankruptcy. He would of course be the first buyer. Then Luke could just walk in and if we resist…he could call in the authorities. My warriors are good, but they're small in number. If they find out the amazons are hiding here, we would either be forced to leave or risk fighting an army with guns that could kill us. Even if we could win Luke would probably bribe enough to let him just borrow a couple of missiles and nuke the forest."

"Wait, why doesn't he just to that anyway?" I asked.

"Because it's not his territory." said Alex. " Percy, it's hard, but the minor gods territories are determined by what people believe. Hades and Poseidon insisted on that when the big three divided the world. That way, all the minor gods could have representative cities, and not get them destroyed whenever a family squabble occurs. I remember one time, Ares wanted to crush Athens and started this stone pamphlet series and"

Artemis frowned and lifted a pager. "It would seem that the company that's buying us out has sent a representative. Not the usual mortal one." she looked over at them. "It seems you two arrived at the nick of time."

"Time has a nick?" asked Oranos. "Why wasn't I informed? I am the lord of time, you know."

"It's an expression." said Alex. "Come on. Let's go deal with it. Our way." He drew his sword and smiled, for some reason, at Josh. "Let's go." We walked back. The people we saw looked slightly terrified but didn't act like it. There was no panic running, just a sort of urgent shuffle to go find any weapons they have.

We walked outside. A tall grey figure stood there. His hair was spiked and gelled. It was also bright blue. "Hey dad. And Rocky too. Nice." said the guy, smiling arrogantly. The bastard. That's my style of smile.

"Graymar." said Oranos with a sigh. "Where's you sister?" he asked.

"Didn't make the trip." said Graymar smiling. "Didn't know you guys were in the business world."

"Yeah. We're venture capitalists. You might have seen us in various gaint corporations. Cause we like venturing into the bathrooms and stealing the soap." He looked puzzled for a moment. "What were, or are you the titan of anyway?"

He looked agitated for a moment. "Don't start with this." he said coldly.

"Seriously what?" asked Oranos.

" I'm the lord of an unspecified modern thing." said Graymar angrily. "I haven't figured out what the hell is going with my power yet, kay?" he said angrily.

"We're facing the dark lord of an unspecified modern thing." said Alex. "We're doomed."

Author Notes: Sorry about the long delay in updating. Trying to write three stories at once and keeping track of the plots are hard. This one got a little screwed up, but next chapter will pretty much explain everything. Except for why Josh stole Percy's pants. Graymar' has the same problem Alex has, but it hasn't affected him for as long.