The beginning of this chapter is the previous chapter in Phoenix's (POV), and then the rest is different. It gives you a hint of what Charlie knows about what Phoenix is.
In the middle of screaming at Jake my vision started to go red. I felt an all too familiar burn course through my fingers. It quickly started to rise to my throat and behind my eyes. I looked at Jake, not hiding the fear that was starting to overcome me. 'Oh god no, not Jake' I thought silently. I grabbed the sides of my head, and then out of no where a crippling pain shot through my body and I collapsed to the floor with a scream. The pain was excruciating. Like being stabbed with thousands of hot pokers at once. I continued to scream and thrash on the floor as Jake looked on in shock. This wasn't the same as before. It wasn't as painful or surprising. I've gotten madder over bigger things and I was able to control it. Now it was stronger, more powerful, and ready to do some serious damage. I looked at Jake out of my peripheral who was still frozen in place.
"JAKE GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed. I couldn't risk hurting Jake. As bad as I wanted him to stay with me I knew it wasn't safe for him to be near me right now. Even though most likely he wouldn't want to after witnessing this. He probably thinks I'm nuts.
A look of disbelief plagued his face as the shock faded away.
He scrambled to my side.
"I'm not going anywhere." He said defiantly.
I continued to squirm in pain but I refused to scream.
"Jake please I don't want to hurt you." It was meant to sound harsh but it came out as a plea.
"I'm not leaving-."
I cut him off.
"I SAID GO!" I yelled as I turned my head towards him.
Jesus does this kid have a death wish? Doesn't he understand by his staying here I could kill him? 'You idiot, he doesn't know what you are remember?' my inner self reminded me. It was right; if Jake knew what I was he wouldn't be standing here. He would've run for the hills a long time ago. We would've never developed this friendship that I cherish so much. In his eyes I would've be an abomination. An outrage against nature.
I heard the door bust open.
"What the hell is with all the racket?!"
Even though my back was to the door I knew it was Charlie. Besides the fact that he was the only one in the house besides me and Jake, I knew that voice from any where.
Not being able to fight it anymore I let out another string of screams.
"Charlie what's happening to her?!" Jake screamed in a choked voice.
Oh my god is he crying? He's not afraid of me? He doesn't think I'm a freak?
There was an awkward silence in the room. I didn't want to look at Jake again because I didn't want to risk catching a glimpse of Charlie's expression. I knew all too well what emotions were on his face. Not the emotions of a father concerned for his daughters well being I assure you.
"Jake I think you should go." He said in an emotionless tone.
"What?!" "Charlie I can't leave, not while she's like this, I can't."
"Listen I know you're concerned and I appreciate that, but trust I will explain later, right now the best thing you can do for her is leave." He calmly said.
That whole statement was bullshit. What he really wanted to say was, 'Jake if you want to live I suggest you go'. But I guess what he said works too.
"Jake he's right, please leave." I said now looking at him.
I was going to say more but I let out another scream.
He looked at Charlie then looked back at me.
He put his forehead to mine and looked me in my eyes.
"Ill be back you hear me? I swear I will."
Wow, what's with the theatrics? I suddenly feel like I'm on an episode of General Hospital. My Jake; quite the sap.
He placed a tender kiss on my forehead and made his way out the room, but not before giving Charlie a scowl. Once he left out the room I let out another scream. Unfortunately that brought me to Charlie's attention. His indifferent stare now a look of disgust.
He snorted.
"Look at you. You haven't been here a whole twenty- four hours and already you almost killed someone? You make me sick." He hissed at me.
I didn't say anything. I just laid there and took the abuse. I don't know how he does it; but somehow he manages to make me feel like a helpless kid whenever he gets like this.
"Do you realize what you almost did just now!? You almost killed your best friend!
You almost killed the only person in this world dumb enough to give a damn about you!" He screamed angrily.
I winced at his words. He was right. I almost killed Jake tonight without even trying to. I was a danger to him and everyone around me. I shouldn't have come back.
I broke out in tears.
"I'm sorry Charlie. I didn't mean to loose control it just happened. It was easier to control before now it's different. It's getting stronger and harder to stop. I can't stop it. I can't slow it down." I said while sobbing. I couldn't believe I was apologizing to him. After everything I'm the one who's apologizing? Wow I think Jake has actually gotten to me.
He didn't say anything for awhile.
The he sighed.
"I guess your powers are developing faster then I thought they would." He said finally.
I felt my eyes go wide.
"What?"
He didn't seem to here me, he seemed lost in thought.
"Charlie?!"
He looked at me then.
"I-I-I-I don't understand, w-w-what are you saying?" I stammered. I couldn't believe it. He knew. He knew what was happening to me and he never told me. That malicious bastard.
"I'm saying your training will have to start sooner then expected."
I got up off the floor.
"Training?"
"Yeah training." He answered
That did it. I didn't even think, before I knew it my fist connected with his jaw and he went soaring through the air and hit the wall. He crumbled to the floor and moaned in pain. I just stood there staring at my hands in shock. Not only was I surprised by my strength, but at how good it felt. I've never felt such a rush. This was better than any high I've ever had.
I looked at Charlie who was still on the floor holding his jaw.
"Yep, way faster then I thought." He spoke.
"What the fuck Charlie?!!! Why didn't you tell me? Why would you not tell me what was going on? Do you have any idea how freaked out I was through the years? I had no idea what was happening to me. I mean I knew I wasn't normal and everything, but god why didn't you tell me what I was?"
He gathered himself off the floor.
"That's because I don't know what you are."
"Stop lying!" I screamed.
"I'm not lying; all I know is that when you're plagued with any type of negative emotion you can make things happen."
He rubbed his jaw. "And pack one hell of a punch." He added.
"Are you seriously making jokes right now?" I asked in disbelief.
"Not intentionally."
I don't believe this. Here I am searching for answers and he's trying to make jokes. I can't deal with this I need to leave. Even though he didn't say much what he did say was enough to throw me for a loop.
I made my way towards the door.
"Where do you think your going?" Charlie asked.
"This is too much I have to get out."
I didn't wait for a response I just left.
Once outside I realized I had stop breathing and took in a well needed gulp of air. My temples were pulsing as the blood rushed to my head. I couldn't think straight. I had no idea what to do with the little information Charlie gave me. What did this mean? What do I do now? Where do I go from here? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? All these questions just kept repeating itself over and over in my head. Not once did I find an answer for any of them.
I looked up into the sky.
I smiled slightly.
"Twilight." I said to no one. It was always my favorite time of the day.
"Nix." I heard someone whisper.
I turned my head slightly, not sure if I was hearing things or not.
"Nixie!!!" the voice got louder.
I turned more and saw someone standing in the woods right by the house.
"Jake?"
He stepped out more.
"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, walking towards him.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"For a while now." He said nonchalantly.
I laughed humorlessly.
"You never left." I accused. I should've known he wouldn't listen.
He shook his head.
"I wasn't leaving you. I may not have been as close as I wanted to be, but at least I didn't abandon you completely."
I put my hand on his face.
"Jake, you didn't abandon me, I wanted you to leave. You didn't need to see me like that." I said trying to make him feel better.
He seemed doubtful, but he didn't argue.
Our eyes met. I felt that same uneasy feeling I felt when this happened earlier. He had that same look in his eyes. That heart wrenching look.
He took my hand off his face and held it tightly.
He takes his other hand and rubs his thumb over my lips.
"If you can't love someone at there worst, how can you love them at there best?"
He didn't give me a chance to respond before his lips were on mine. At first I didn't kiss him back but after a couple of seconds I got into it. Our lips moved together perfectly. The more we got into it the more urgent it became. It wasn't necessarily a need but a hunger or yearning. The heat that radiated off of him was almost unbearable but I didn't care. I felt his tongue beg for access which I gladly granted with a moan. Unfortunately the more I got into it the more I knew this was a mistake. The more we kissed the more I realized that what I was feeling was raw passion and not love. At least not that type of love.
I pulled away from him gasping for air.
"Sorry, I didn't realize you couldn't breathe." I Jake said sheepishly.
"No, no, it's okay, that's not why I pulled away." I said.
"Then what's wrong?" He asked hesitantly.
I turned away from him then. I knew what I was about to say would kill him, but it had to be said. I can't have Jake believing in something that isn't real. I don't want him to feel like we could ever have a chance when I know that isn't true. I just can't look at him during. This is painful for me just to say, I can only imagine what it will feel like for him.
"Phoenix?" He urged.
I didn't answer.
"Phoenix?!" he said louder.
I still didn't look.
I felt the heat radiating off his body as he walked up behind me. He grabbed my shoulder forcefully and turned me to face him. He grabbed my chin forcefully.
"I don't love you the way you love me." I blurted out.
His eyes became hard and cold as he let me go and stepped back. The traitor tears I was holding back flowed freely now. I've never seen him look at me that way before.
"I'm sorry-." He cut me off.
"Why did you kiss me?" He said in a flat tone.
I was silent for a while.
"I care for you Jake, really I do, but we just wouldn't work." I said honestly.
His eyes softened a little. I guess he figured at least I feel something for him.
"I don't understand if you care for me why can't we make this happen?" He gestured between us.
"I'm not the same person I was before I left Jake. I've been gone for the past ten years. I've seen things and done things you couldn't even begin to understand. There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me and I'm afraid of what it would do to our friendship if we ever broke up. I don't want to lose you." I said now crying.
"You're all I have." I finished.
It was true; nothing would be the same between us if this ended badly.
"I don't care about what's happened in your past, all I care about is now and after." Jake confessed.
"Jake you're not listening to me."
"That's just it I am listening to you and it sounds to me that you're afraid of how I would look at you if I found out about your past. But I promise you; there could be no such thing that would make ever turn my back on you."
He sounded so sincere. I honestly think he meant what he's saying. But nevertheless I can't let him get to me.
"Jake I don't deserve you. You need someone who will love you the way that you love me. Someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated I-I-I can't do any of that." I was trying my hardest not to cry. But how can you not cry when you're tearing out the heart of your best and only friend?
"But you care for me in that way right?" he asked smugly.
'Whoa that wasn't expected' I thought to myself. He was right. I do care for him in that way, but I don't see myself ever feeling more than that. So do I tell him the truth or should I lie?
I've never lied to Jake; and I don't plan on starting now.
"Yes I care for you in that way but that doesn't change anything." I said sternly.
The pain that flashed in his eyes made me regret the last part. It seemed all the color was drained from his face. Like he had died instantly.
I fought back tears.
"Jake, lis-." He stormed off.
"Jake wait!" I called after him. I didn't want him to leave. Not like this.
He didn't.
(NOTE: this flashback is the continuance of the flashback from chapter 5)
(Flashback)….10 years ago
"If anything it's you who's a danger to her." He said with a smile.
I felt my heart drop down to my knees. Just when I thought my fathers' games couldn't get any sicker. Just when I thought he's done everything possible to hurt me he goes and plays the sister card. He knew I would do anything for Izzy. He knew I would go to hell and back for her. Did he honestly think I would do anything to hurt Izzy? I would die before I ever hurt her.
"You can't force me to hurt Izzy" I said more defiant then I've ever been.
I was convinced I had the upper hand this time around.
"Who said I was going to make you hurt Bella?" He asked.
"You just said-." He cut me off.
"I said that you were the one who's a danger to her. In other words if you don't cooperate, Bella suffers the consequences."
I stared at him wide-eyed as what he said sunk in. He knew whenever I had a 'job' to do I was less then cooperative. Whenever that happened I was punished. Now he was raising the stakes. If I resisted it wouldn't be me who received the punishment………it was Izzy.
Don't do this
