(Mmm... I have cookies.)

Broken Traffic Signs

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we-"

"NO LORKIN!"

"Alright, no need to get snappy..."

Dannyl sighed.

Lorkin didn't understand why Dannyl was being so moody. They'd had great fun on the journey; Lorkin had made Dannyl tell him all his travelling stories a hundred times, they'd memorised all the names of Sachakan politicians, played endless games of I spy ('I spy something beginning with C.' 'Carriage?' 'Right again.'), and Lorkin has listed the top 1001 most beautiful women he'd ever seen. And yet for some reason Dannyl didn't seem very cheerful.

Lucky I've got this blood ring mummy gave me, thought Lorkin. That way if Dannyl keeps being boring I'll have someone else to tell about all the women I see.

The carriage came to a stop and they both climbed out, looking up at the brightly coloured Inn in front of them.

"Welcome, my lords, to Lord Fergun's Massage Parlour," said a servant, stepping out of the doorway.

"Lord Fergun? Wait... he's not alive, is he?" Dannyl looked frightened.

"No, my lord."

"Oh... Okay then. And... Massage Parlour?"

"Oh yes, my lord." The servant smirked. "Your beds served with a smile, my lords."

"Sometimes I wonder why Osen books us into these places..." muttered Dannyl as they were led inside. "This is the third 'massage parlour' we've stopped at."

"I like the massage parlours," grinned Lorkin as he sat down and oogled the serving girl. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

"You would... hey!" Dannyl clipped him round the ear. "Stop flirting with prostitutes!"

Lorkin pouted. Dannyl had said that at every Inn they'd stopped at.


"Hurry up Gol," said Cery as he stomped down the tunnel. "Or I'll have you demoted back to faceless henchman character in a flash!"

"I still am," grumbled Gol. "I've barely had any lines since the book started."

"Sorry, sorry. You can have more lines in this bit if you like."

"Great! So I was thinking we could lay a trap for the Thief Hunter to prove he's got magic then we could tell Sonea and she can get the Magician's Guild to capture him-"

"Wait a minute Gol, I just had a fantastic idea!"

"Yeah?"

"So I was thinking we could lay a trap for the Thief Hunter to prove he's got magic then we could tell Sonea and she can get the Magician's Guild to capture him!"

Gol sighed. "Yeah Cery. Great idea."


"We're here!"

"In Sachaka? You mean this boring journey has ended already?"

"Oh goodness no!" Dannyl laughed. "We're at the fort at the edge of Kyralia!"

"So... we're not 'here' at all?"

"Shut up."

"Wanna play I spy again?"

"Really, no."

A magician rushed forwards and hugged them both as they got out of the carriage. "Hi hi hi! I'm Watcher Orton!"

"Um... hi..."

"Sorry if I'm a little excited, but I haven't seen other human beings for over six months! I made friends with a pachi tree! Oh oh do you want to look around the fort? D'you wanna stay the night? We could have a camp fire, and a sing a long, and tell ghost stories, and do each other's hair and-"

"Unfortunately," Dannyl said firmly, disentangling himself from the hug, "we have to leave very soon."

Orton's face fell. "Oh... Well, I guess we could just fill in some back story then."

Dannyl patted his hand. "I think that would be best."

Once they had finished filling in the backstory about the Ichani attacking the fort and the Sachakan wasteland being mysteriously created, it was time for Dannyl and Lorkin to leave.

"Dannyl, are we in Sachaka now?"

"Sure."

"This wasteland sure is bad."

"Sure."

"And probably important to the plot."

"Sure."

"Maybe we'll find out how it was created."

"Sure."

"But we should keep it a secret, right Dannyl?

Dannyl sighed, and turned up the music on his iPod. "Sure."