Disclaimer:

I hereby incorporate all standard disclaimers as set forth in previous chapters to this story.

Chapter 9:

"It's somewhat ironic." Jamie began. "We have legislatures that draft and vote in the laws which comprise our concept of Civil Order, which we are taught to follow and that as an attorney I've taken an oath to follow and uphold, and as a police officer, to enforce. When the law is broken, we apprehend the lawbreaker and attorneys take over the legal process, people like Erin, Casey and Alex who present the facts and evidence to a jury who then weigh it and determine if guilt is established based upon the law as instructed to them by a judge. If the jury holds them accountable then the judge issues the sentence and the process continues with incarceration, with all involved parties working together to protect society from those who seek to disrupt it as each component of the process is vital to the mechanism whose sole purpose is to promote and maintain the governance of our basest instincts."

"Today, I went against both of my oaths and short circuited the very system that draws its authority from the law which I have sworn to protect and defend in order that I may exact my own form of justice for Sydney, but if I hadn't done so in all probability there would be no justice for her as the odds are nil that Huntley would have ever been tried in an English court and held accountable. Simply because he is incarcerated in Auburn for one crime does not mean he has been adjudicated by society for his breach of the Civil Order pursuant to his offenses against Sydney and therefore his present punishment cannot be deemed to be concurrent with the one due him in her instance."

"I'm wondering then if I have lowered myself to his level in meeting out a form of justice that is beyond my lawful purview to prescribe and exact and more importantly in doing so, have I disgraced myself before the very law that I seek to uphold and enforce pertaining to others; am I any better than the one who I arrest today or those I may prosecute tomorrow?"

"Finally, if I keep my promise to Huntley and he is executed in prison without due process, have I become a vigilante who finds himself outside the scope of protection afforded to me by a civilized society? Will I have made myself an outcast and if so, how can I remain a servant of the very law I transgressed against?" He asked no one in particular.

Joe and Danny looked at one another. One thing about Jamie, when he became philosophical those around him would end up with headaches in attempting to reason with him.

"Jamie, the law is subjective. It sets the four corners of the box which society may operate within but it is not constructed of an immovable substance but is fluid and pliable." Joe remarked. "The Social Contract which you speak of is just that, a contract and if someone like Huntley either breaks that contract or refuses to subscribe to it then he cannot be afforded the same rights and protections as those who do."

"But Joe, what you are speaking of is the equitable concept of 'Unclean Hands' meaning that if he has breached the social contract, has he voided his lawful right to due process as set forth therein? In a civil matter, Unclean Hands would be an Affirmative Defense against a Plaintiff's cause of action because he had done something that caused the material breach of the contract from which he now seeks equitable relief. The same doesn't apply in criminal law and he is entitled at all times to Due Process prior to the deprivation of liberty or life. This is what sets a civilized society apart from dictatorships and juntas. If we fail to follow the established process, we are no better than those we condemn for violating the rights of others." Jamie responded.

Joe Continued: Remember your Edmund Burke? "In order for evil to flourish, all that is required is for good men to do nothing."

"Or what Texas Ranger Bill McDonald said: "No man in the wrong can stand up against a fellow that's in the right and just keeps on a-comin." Danny stated

"Both are relevant and salient points" Jamie responded "however, the crucial factor here is the concept of justice and whether a man, no matter his good intent, breaches that concept when he acts in his own stead without applying the procedural safe guards as established and afforded by law. We don't get to pick and choose who goes through the system and who gets cast out into the mob. Otherwise, everyone would begin to take the law into their own hands. That's why we have police, lawyers, judges, juries and courts and a process which must be adhered to. It may not be a perfect system but it's the best one that we know of."

Danny laughed. "You know, I may not be the book worm that you two are but I do remember one book that we had to read in school written by a guy named Plato called 'The Republic.' It's a big book and over a thousand pages long and I remember how difficult it was for me to read, but after plowing through it, I remember at the end the definition of justice which was the whole point of the book, being 'that which is in the interest of the stronger' which means for the greater good of all and it's definitely in society's overall interest to be rid of a piece of crap like Stephen Huntley because if he ever gets out, I have no doubt he will prey upon and hurt other unsuspecting women."

Jamie smiled for the first time that day. "Danny, I didn't know that you were such a philosopher."

Danny smirked. "I'm not, at least not like Plato and that Burke guy Joe quoted. I'm more the Bill McDonald type. What I'm trying to say is that Huntley's going to get what's coming to him and whether or not you may accelerate that process is up to you and your conscience but I'll tell you right now, if that was Linda I was sticking up for, that scumbag would be in a lot worse shape than you left him and I wouldn't think twice about putting out the word to the other inmates knowing what would happen to him. I have my own sense of what's right and wrong and I sleep well at night as does Gramps who thinks the same way because sometimes, not all justice can be dispensed in a courtroom. As long as the system isn't perfect, neither will the results or the methods used to obtain them."

Joe smiled. "Maybe we should sign Danny up to teach a class at John Jay. Professor Daniel Reagan, Judicial Philosophy 101."

"Shut up Joe, I'm trying to make a salient point as the kid calls it." Danny responded.

"Ok Danny, you've made it and I accept it as it was very well reasoned out, especially for you." Jamie joked.

"Smart mouth punk, see I'm not as stupid as you two think I am." He shot back

Joe started to respond to Danny's comment. "Don't even think about it wise ass." Danny warned him.

"Ok, so the question is, do I follow through with my promise or do I let nature take its course and whatever happens to him does so independent of me?" Jamie asked.

"I wouldn't worry about it Jamer, it may have already been taken care of." Joe said as he smiled at Danny.

"Yeah, all this philosophy talk may have just been what you call a moot exercise to get you out of your funk and get you talking though now I wish you had stayed quiet." Danny said to Jamie.

Jamie smiled. He knew that his brothers had already put the wheels in motion, most likely when speaking to the guards.

They finally arrived home to find Casey, Erin and Alex waiting for them. Danny and Joe entered and began begging for aspirins for their monumental headaches.

Erin wondered what was wrong and Danny answered her. "Don't ever spend an hour in the car with Jamie espousing philosophical points added to legal reasoning. It will drive you nuts."

Jamie laughed. "Come on, it wasn't that bad. You wouldn't believe just how much Danny knows. He even quoted the concept of justice from The Republic."

Erin's eyebrows raised: "I thought you got an F on that subject?"

"Ok, I did. I just read the final pages so that I knew what the answer was but the test wanted to know who the important characters were and what the important events were leading to it. That's what I didn't know." He admitted.

"I thought you told us you read the entire 1,000 pages." Joe asked.

"No what I said was that it was a thousand page book and it was very difficult for me to read and I plowed through it, right to the end and the definition I was looking for." Danny proudly announced.

Erin shook her head while Jamie and Joe laughed. "Typical Danny" she said.

"So, care to share what transpired?" Alex asked.

"Not with three ADAs, thanks anyway." Jamie answered.

"Did you cross the line Jamie?" Erin asked.

"Let's say that I've learned that the line is very wide and comprised of many different shades of gray and as such I did not cross it." Jamie honestly answered her.

"Are you okay with yourself?" Casey asked.

"Very much so." He answered her.

"Then it would appear this matter is settled." Erin noted and then grabbed Jamie's hands to inspect his knuckles.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Just making sure you didn't tune him up. I figured for sure Gramps was sending you up there with a pair of his brass knuckles, but I don't see any abrasions on your skin." She said.

"Gee Erin, what kind of guy do you take me for? That's something Danny would do, not me?" He smiled knowing that was the exact reason he had wrapped them in gauze and protective tape.

Danny and Joe held out their hands for inspection as well.

All was quiet over the remainder of the week as everyone went about their day jobs and the women worked on planning the weddings.

The following Sunday everyone was gathered in the living room when Jamie announced that he had received a letter from Sydney which she left inserted in the doorjamb of his apartment. She asked that he read it at a Sunday dinner knowing all would be present.

Dear All;

I was released today from Bellevue Hospital after spending the past week with a private psychiatrist along with group therapy. Joe, I am so thankful that you had me committed or I never would have gone forward with this on my own.

By the time Jamie reads this letter to you I will have left New York for the Greenbrier Mountain Retreat in Montana where I will be spending the next 60-90 days, depending on my progress. This is an in-patient treatment facility which was recommended to me by my psychiatrist. I have voluntarily enrolled myself because I want to heal and to become a better person so that I can feel good about myself and more importantly, become a kinder person to others the way all of you have been to me.

Casey, Alex, Danny and Joe, thank you again for saving me from my own thoughtlessness and stupidity. Knowing the Reagan family as I do, I should have come to you for help rather than trying to solve this on my own.

Casey, I'm sorry for stalking you. You are a wonderful person and Jamie is lucky to have you. I know that you will keep your promise to me and always love and take care of him as he will of you.

Danny, you aren't the badass that you would like everyone to think you are and underneath all your gruff, you are probably the biggest hearted person in the family. I only wish that I had recognized that side of you so many years ago. Please tell Harvey that I intend to take him up on his offer but he won't be happy that he can't package Jamie in the deal.

Joe, what can I say? I thought I witnessed your burial and to see you again after all these years' means that there are second chances for us in this world and I mean to take full advantage of mine. You are the natural balancing force between your brothers and I am happy that they have you back to protect them from one another.

Erin, when I return, I hope that you'll keep your promise to me. I like to think of you as the big sister I never had and I want to thank you for spending those extra minutes with me in the hospital and for insuring that no charges were brought forth pursuant to my suicide attempt. I hope that I can use you as the role model I wish to become as a woman, an attorney and maybe someday as a wife and mother, especially if I have three boys as I'm sure you have many tales to tell regarding your brothers.

Linda, thank you for all your kindness during my stay at St. Victor's. Danny married a wonderful woman and I thank you for the extra time you spent with me just letting me get it all out.

Alex, I wish you the best with Joe. He's definitely a keeper and you two make a cute couple!

Frank, you may be the hardest person for me to address in this letter, because I know how valuable life is to you, especially having thought you lost Joe. I'm sorry for what I did and for putting your family through it, but one thing I learned when engaged to Jamie is that you have very broad shoulders and are truly the rock your family is built upon. You and Mary raised four wonderful children and I know this brings you a very well deserved sense of pride.

Jamie got to the part regarding him and began to tear up and cry. Erin and Casey held him while Joe read the final part of the letter.

My Sweetest Jamie, I owe you an apology that is five years overdue. You were right when you told me that I was looking for someone who would in a sense, do what it took to make me look good to others. I never thought that first I needed to look at myself. You helped get me through Harvard and I treasure every moment that we spent together, but I was selfish and insecure, thinking only of what was in my best interests and I will have to move forward knowing that I ended something that I had never given a true chance at really getting started. Maybe it was for the best as the last thing I want is to hurt you. You are a sensitive and charismatic person Jamison and though our relationship ended years ago, there will always be a special place for you in my thoughts, prayers and heart and I wish you and Casey the brightest future together.

Five years ago I couldn't accept that you would have thrown away a six figure career to patrol the streets of New York City, especially after what we thought happened to Joe. Now I realize there is far more to life than partnerships, bonuses and country club memberships. You always knew this because this was your upbringing. It took until this moment for me to realize that you already had your treasure which is your family and that the value of helping others can't be quantified in a paycheck. The practice of law should be a noble cause, not a means of building a financial empire but more important, the true quest in life should result in achieving a sense of peace with who you are and that is something you have always known. Don't ever change for this is what makes you the special person we all know and love.

On a final note, if you'd be so kind, my car is a White Lexus convertible and is parked in space 209 of the garage. If you could start it for me every couple of weeks, I'd appreciate it. The key is on my kitchen counter and I'm sure the office would let you in. If not, just ask Danny to badge them. HA HA HA. If anyone is short a car while I'm gone, feel free to use it. The registration is next to the key.

Again, thank you all for being there for me and I hope that in the future I can earn your trust and become your friend.

Best wishes and eternal gratitude,

Sydney

The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop except for Jamie who was still softly crying. While his feelings of erotic love had long ago departed, she was still someone special in his heart. When he thought back as to what Stephen Huntley did to her his anger grew, but in the end, what was important is that Sydney be able to achieve a sense of peace and security and to move on in life as a cheerful and productive person.

Everyone agreed that the letter was very well written and from the heart, and they all looked forward to seeing what progress she had made upon her return.

Casey looked at Jamie and dried his eyes with her sleeve. "You and I have a good solid relationship and I am comfortable enough with who we are not to be jealous and insecure. I know you aren't going anywhere, but when she gets home I think it would be a good idea for us all, but especially you, to build some level of friendship with her because she is going to need our support and most of all, yours. In fact, I think it would be a good idea for you to write a letter from all of us expressing our support."

Jamie nodded. "I know."

Joe continued: "We help people, that's who we all are and that's what we do and as we do so for countless others who we have no personal connection with then we owe it to someone who was once a part of this family. That's what the Reagan name means and that is what we stand for."

"Well said Casey and Joe" Frank affirmed.

Valerie looked up at Frank and smiled. "Are things always this exciting?"

"Usually, but it goes with the territory." He smiled back. "Not too late to change your mind if it's getting too crazy."

"Not on your life Commissioner. More than ever I look forward to being part of this wonderful family and so do my children."

As everyone went about their business for the rest of the evening, Erin came over to Jamie and snuggled him against her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, you know, I was hurt that she left, then angry, then relieved and then she pops back in and I was pissed, and then when she tried to kill herself, I thought that maybe I had pushed her over the edge, but the truth is, the signs were there five years ago and I didn't see them because I was too wrapped up in Harvard, then Joe's disappearance and finally my rush to join the Academy and the force. I never gave her emotions or psyche any thought or consideration but view it as me doing what I wanted to."

"So you're feeling guilty?" She asked

"Somewhat." He responded. "Maybe I'm as at fault for my conduct as I accused her of being with hers when we met last week."

"Ok, assume that I accept your premise. You were the one who was enduring the greater emotional hardship, so should she have been more patient and accepting with you, or, in your rush to join the NYPD, did you completely disregard her feelings and the plans you two had agreed upon.?" Erin asked.

"Both but it was more than that, it was the time I was spending investigating the Blue Templar and I became more distant as my only concern was focusing on who may have killed Joe."

"Jamie, all relationships go through these same stages and not all result in divorces or broken engagements. There was nothing critical in Sydney's life that required her to head off to London. Suppose you taken the Bar out of Harvard and then went into practice and she came to you with this offer for London, would you have gone?" Erin asked

"No, I would not have left the family, whether Joe was alive or dead, I wouldn't have just taken off for six months like that, not after having been away for three years." He answered.

"Then what would have happened if you refused to go and she wanted to?" Erin asked

"Either it would have been a long engagement or most likely, I probably would have ended it because she chose her career over me." He answered.

Erin nodded. "And if London has not come up, would you have been able to repair your problems even though you joined the force?"

"No, as we discussed, we'd probably be divorced by now." He answered.

"Then there's your answer baby brother. You had a law school romance and once you two were back in the real world, the logistics and practicality of a true relationship working out were not there. You wanted different things, different adventures. While contained on campus, everything seemed great but once those boundaries were exceeded, you both realized that there was no future and began acting to push one another away and you baby brother let her do the dirty work because you don't like to fight."

"Which is why I felt relieved after it happened and never wanted her back. So I have nothing to feel guilty about?" He asked Erin.

"No Jamie, what happened to Sydney resulted from her choices. Now she has to come face to face with them and learn to deal with the consequences. What happened to her was tragic and she's lucky that you and the rest of us are kind enough to be there helping her through it, but in the end, she only has Sydney to blame." Erin said as she hugged him.

"Thanks Erin." He smiled.

"That's what big sisters are for." She smiled back.

Casey stood off to the side and nodded knowing that Jamie had truly moved on from Sydney, both emotionally and logically. She looked forward to putting this episode of his life behind them and creating new and lasting memories, happy memories, together.

-30-