It's finally here! The one you've been waiting for! The Most Maniacal Super Hero of All is back and just when the united pack needs a hero the most! But will the Green Goblin be able to save Jasper Park or will he only end up complicating matters for his new friends? Does he have the makings of a real super hero or is he just a man who can't recognize when he's in way over his head? The only way to find out is to keep reading as Philip Urich finally becomes "A Goblin Once Again!"
My name is Philip Urich and I am the Green Goblin. At least for one night, I am once again the Green Goblin. That's what I think to myself as I carefully unpack my Goblin outfit from the duffle bag. As the sun goes down over the mountains, I try to stay out of the sight of the many couples walking up the mountain path. I fill my two bags of tricks with all the pumpkins, razor-bats, and gas-ghosts I think I might need for tonight.
It's not that I'm expecting some sort of epic battle or anything. It's not that. As I see it, this one-night-only return of the heroic Green Goblin will be just a cameo appearance. I go down to the valley, put the frights into Razor so that he and his buddies think twice about coming around again, and then beat it back here and return my gear to its duffle bag forever more. Maybe if I 'm done fast enough, I can even take Lilly up on her offer and see what this Moonlight Howling's all about.
True, it briefly occurred to me to make this a full-time return, but that was during the brief period when it felt like my Goblin powers were coming back in. But it didn't last; now I'm about as much of a weakling as I ever was. I think I might have retained my Lunatic Laugh but other than that…
Weird, though. I always thought that the Lunatic Laugh was merely a property of my Goblin mask. But when I used it today, I wasn't wearing my mask. I was so exhilarated that I didn't even stop to think that I was doing the Laugh without my mask; it just seemed so natural. Now it only seems… weird.
As much as I'd like to ponder this further, I can't. It's nearly dark now and I have to start getting ready if I want to make my appointment. This is the first time I'm using my Goblin costume again, not counting using the finger-blasters to try and microwave the caribou meat they give me (Doesn't taste great that way – but there's no way I'm eating that stuff raw!), and I have to make sure I have it all ready so that I can don it quickly without being noticed. So I pick up my Goblin mask and… uh-oh! The Goblin mask stares back at me, completely lacking any eyes. There are just a few busted red shards where the eyes used to be. Foul!
Once again, my singular ability to not think things through before I act has got me into another tough spot. I can't go out with no eyes or else he'll be able to see that it's just pathetic old Philip under the mask. I need to find some replacements, pronto!
Then I notice Ace standing outside my den. It must be his turn for guard duty. But what's most interesting is that he's got this pair of sunglasses with huge yellow lenses. Those could be perfect! I'll just have to figure out a way to take them from him.
"Hey, Ace," I say, walking up to him.
"Hey, Phil," Ace says, apparently pretty down in the dumps.
"You're not going to the Moonlight Howling?"
Ace sighs. "Unfortunately not. And I'm so upset! I managed to get this sweet honey from the eastern pack to agree to go with me and now I'm going to have to stand her up because Winston ordered me to guard you."
"That's foul, man," I say. "If I were you, I'd bag this scene and take your girl to the Howling."
"But, Winston'll kill me if I don't keep an eye on you, not that I think you'll escape or anything. If you ask me, this whole guard idea is pretty silly."
I grin. "Hey, well, I think I might have the perfect solution for you and that… sweet honey… of yours. Winston can't know you're not watch me if I'm still here after the Howling, right?"
Ace shrugs. "I guess so."
"And I said I was going to get an early night, didn't I?"
"You did."
"So, you go and come back when the Howling's over. I'll have your back. I'll pretend like you're guarding me the whole time and nobody will ever be the wiser!"
Ace beams. "Brilliant, Phil! You got a good head on your shoulders!"
What, me? Nah!
"Just one more question," I say. "Where did you get those rockin' shades?"
"Oh, these? Some human family camping in Jasper left them behind a month ago and I found them while scavenging for food at their campsite. I always wear them to Moonlight Howlings, cause the ladies love 'em."
"Real fresh, man, but you know what all we humans are doing now? Like, what the latest fashion craze is?"
"No, what?"
I take the glasses from his head and carefully punch out the lenses. Luckily they're cheap enough glasses that I can do it even without any strength. "The in thingis to wear sunglasses without lenses. That's what ladies dig now."
I place the rims back on his head and pocket the lenses.
Ace smiles. "Hey, thanks man! Now I'm sure to sweep all those little ladies off their feet!"
"Yeah, sure," I say. If only he knew how much of a dork he looks like right now!
With a great howl, Ace goes bounding off. I guess he's getting his practice in.
Finally, I'm left alone. That kills two birds with one stone; now I have two new lenses for my Goblin mask and no one will be around to think it's suspicious when a giant jade monstrosity saunters out of the Urich den.
I run over and grab my mask. Pulling the lenses out of my pocket, I carefully fit them to the mask. It's no perfect fit, as I don't have anything to make them adhere permanently and I've still got some jagged pieces of red here and there, but they're in tight enough to hold for the night.
Okay, here we… um… come on… Is there a battle-cry generating website I can visit or something? 'Cause this is just getting embarrassing.
Slowly, carefully, I don my Goblin suit. I pull up the green pants and purple loincloth, attaching my bags of tricks to the large silver ring around my waste. I pull the green bodysuit over my chest, fitting my arms through the purple cloak and the silver metal rings before pulling up my green sleeves. I make sure the three slices of the cloak are straightened out and that the large spiked shoulder pads are not going to poke me in the head. Next I pull up my large purple boots with their spikes and silver rings and then done my spiked, silver ringed gloves (Think ol' Harr was a bit obsessed with spikes and silver rings? Yeah, me too.) with the fabric cut off of the two outer fingers and thumb to reveal the sharp green claws. Finally, I pick up my Goblin mask and pull it over my head, half expecting (maybe even half-hoping) to feel the painful electric shock surge through my body. But nothing happens, though I am happy to report that the new shades are working fine, even if I now see the world in bright yellow. I pull the long, jagged hood over my mask, forcing my long pointy ears through two holes on the sides. The long stocking-cap thing hangs down behind my head while the jagged widow's-peak hangs down into my face, covering one of my eyes.
I'm ready.
It feels strange to be back in my old – would you call it a uniform? Strange, yet somehow familiar. It feels wrong but it feels right. It feels like a life I've left behind but it also feels like I've come home after a long time away. I feel both incredibly foolish and incredibly amazing at the same time. Strange, huh?
Now it's pretty dark out and all of the wolves seem to have gone up the mountain. I think it's the best chance I'll get to get out of here undetected. I go to the cave and peer out, looking all around to make sure nobody at all could be watching me. Then when I'm sure of it, I start out, still looking all around me all the while. And then I go down the path as quickly as I can. I'm about half-way down when I hear voices. Perfect! I thought everyone was supposed to be at the Moonlight Howling! Who could possibly still be walking up at this time of the night?
Then I see those two Omega girls, Sweets and Candy, walking up the path, gossiping about the other wolves. I consider that my best bet is either to hide among the crags or jump off the path and hope for a smooth landing. On second thought, neither one seems particularly satisfying! So I crouch down, hoping that maybe I can jump for one or the other before they come closer.
I hear them talking. Sweets says, "But can you believe Lilly?"
Lilly? Lilly?
"I know," Candy says. "She's already engaged to the most attractive Alpha around but she's suddenly got the hots for that ugly human!"
"That girl is such a loser!" Sweets says with a laugh. "Don't you think so, Candy? Candy?"
I shouldn't have listened to what they were saying, I should have bagged it down the mountain, but I couldn't even think straight with them talking about Lilly like that. Now I'm in trouble, because Candy's noticed me. She's stopped in her tracks, with a look of absolute terror. Sweets now turns her head and mimics her friend's expression.
Great! Just great!
I raise myself to my full height. My cloak falls away from me to reveal my large, green chest. That, along with all the silver rings and the yellow of my eyes, must be shining in the moonlight. (Remember, everything looks shiny to me with these yellow lenses!)
"Howdy," I say, doing my best to disguise my voice. Smooth, real smooth.
"Wha… what is it, Sweets?" Candy says.
"I don't know, but it looks nasty and ugly!" Sweets replies.
Okay, ladies, you can put down Philip Urich all you want but when you start up with bashing Lilly, that's something I just can't stand for! And, above all else, nobody disses the Green Goblin!
"Don't mind me, ladies," I say, "I'm just your friendly neighborhood boogeyman. And I only mess with people who say nasty things behind other's backs." I slowly walk toward them. "And you two nice girls wouldn't do a thing like that, would you now?"
They both tremble in absolute terror. Each tries to offer a small shake of the head.
"Good, because if you did, then I'd have to give you a dose of this!" I point my finger toward the mountain and press down on my palm, launching a bolt of electricity into the cliff wall and causing several small-to-medium sized rocks to fall down onto the path. Sweets and Candy are so terrified that they run straight past me, getting caught in my cloak as they do their best to escape before finally managing to scurry around the turn.
Hahahahahahahaha! I laugh as they run past. Lilly, though you'll never know it, this one's for you!
"Scaring two innocent she-wolves out of their wits," a voice says. "You must be so very proud of yourself."
I look around, though I don't need to. I already know it's my good green friend, come to share some more laughs.
"What do you want?" I say as he walks up next to me.
"Don't be so hostile, my friend," he says. "I was merely wondering if that was the most heroic use of your identity."
"Tough! They were mocking Lilly and I wasn't about to stand for that!"
He laughs. "It is always Lilly with you! You are growing quite attached – some might even say obsessed – with that young she-wolf. Doesn't that sound rather crazy?"
It's my turn to laugh. "Hahahaha! Then it's standard operating procedure for me! Look, buddy, Lilly's the only reason I'm getting dressed up tonight so you should be thanking her, not criticizing her."
"Are you sure that's the only reason?" he says.
And for once, I don't know how to answer.
He smiles. "Nice shades, by the way, Green Goblin." And then he's suddenly gone and I'm on my own again. I hate how he does that!
So, I lumber down the rest of the path, thinking about how hard it is to move down a steep mountain in all this heavy stuff without my powers. But, I eventually get to the valley floor and begin shambling through the trees. As the full moon shines down on me, I can't help but think that this is about the most appropriate setting for the return of the Green Goblin. I mean, I am a grade-A lunatic after all! Hahaha! But my laughter is cut short as I think back to what I just did. I don't know if Sweets and Candy are going to tell anybody about what they saw (Like, probably!) but I'm just hoping that nobody will believe them.
It's a chore to get around the valley without my powers, but somehow I manage, and now I'm just on the lookout for any sign of Razor. I mean, he may be quicker, stronger, and more agile than me, but how much ground can he really cover? Not much, I hope!
Of course, I shamble about for so long without any sign of him that I begin to think that maybe my hopes will be dashed. That's when I hear this whimper, like when a puppy is scared of fireworks. And then I see… Razor?
This is hilarious! Man, he looks completely terrified! He's shaking with every step he takes and throwing that huge snout of his over his shoulders at every opportunity. And he's letting out those loud whimpers the whole time! This is gonna be easier than I thought!
I tip-toe over, as best as I can in this get-up, and sneak around Razor as he looks behind his back. I hop upon an old log and wait for him to walk past. As he's just about near me, I pull out a pumpkin bomb. As he gets to where I am, he stops and surveys his surroundings. I'm right behind him now. I push in the little stem on the pumpkin and its mean face comes alive with fire shooting from every available opening. Now I'm ready. I tap Razor on the shoulder.
He turns around and a look of absolute honest-to-goodness terror fills his face. It looks like he's about to die of fright right here and now!
"Lovely evening, isn't it?" I say, trying to make my voice as closely approximate to my old Goblin one as I can. It ain't easy, but I think I manage.
He doesn't respond. Actually he doesn't do much of anything. His eyes just dart up and down my form, and then to the flaming jack-o'-lantern in my hand. His mouth opens slowly and he tries to scream. Nothing comes out. He's shivering so much I almost expect him to just shiver apart. And I'm loving it all.
"Hahahahahahahaha!" I give him a taste of my Lunatic Laugh. That's about all he can stand and, remembering that he has these things called legs, he tries to scurry away at top speed. Instinctively, I jump and – to my complete surprise – I manage to sail over him and land right in his path.
Hahahahahahahaha! The Green Goblin rules!
He's petrified again. I think the poor baby's going to wet himself. Ewww, he just did!
I grab him by the fur of his chest and hold him against my face. With a wicked smile I ask, "And what's a little puny puppy like you doing out all by yourself on a night like this? Don't you know that it's dangerous? Hahahahaha!"
Man, what a wimp! He even starts to cry. But I'm not letting up, not after what him and his buddies have been doing to my friends. Not after what they've been doing to Lilly!
I grin as wide as I can, revealing all my sharp Goblin fangs, and say, "I guess I know what I'm having for tonight's supper! Hahahahahaha!"
And he faints! I mean, just dead away, faints right there! Really, the nerve! I was just getting warmed-up here! Man, I could have really put the frights on him if I woulda got the chance!
"Who's there?"
I recognize the voice immediately, and it's the one I'd least like to hear right now. Oh man, it's Kate! I completely forgot that she was going to be patrolling the area, looking for Razor. Hutch and Can-do are probably right behind her, too!
I've got to get out of here before she spots me! I drop Razor and turn off my pumpkin, throwing it back into my bag of tricks. Then I high-tail it to the nearest tree and try to hide.
Kate walks cautiously into my line of vision as I peak from behind the tree. She sniffs around, her ears perked up and her eyes darting around. Then she sees Razor lying on the ground.
"Razor," she says, "what happened to you?"
Of course, he doesn't answer, having scared himself to sleep. She sniffs him, trying to piece together what caused his current state (Me!). While she's distracted, I figure it's the perfect time to make my great escape. I start to run.
But she catches sight of me. "Wait! Who's there? Stop!" Yeah right, lady! If you get your paws on me here, I know you'll kill me for sure. And I don't want to see that happen!
I glance over my shoulder to see her running after me. I figure my only chance is to try and climb into one of the trees or something. So I jump for a nearby trunk and, to my further surprise, I spring right on it and am able to propel myself to another one. I grab a branch and swing myself up higher to where I'm able to grab another and then another. I smile as I allow myself to believe that I've now prevented Kate from pursuing me.
And then I look over my shoulder again. I see Kate do exactly what I do, leaping from trunk to trunk, branch to branch, flipping herself around in the air and ricocheting off the trees like nobody's business.
And I am sooooo out of here! I start to jog on the tree tops, bouncing from one branch to another and ricocheting myself off of any particularly tall trunks. She does the same. I grab a few vines here and there and do some Tarzan actions, but she's undeterred. She just manages to whirl around like a tornado on fire or something. I'm even forced to take a page from her book and adopt some really cool flips myself to get to trees that are spread out far apart. It's times like these that make me really miss my Goblin Glider!
It's like we're involved in some sort of aerial ballet of death ten feet above the forest floor! I'd really be upset about not having a tape of this if I weren't so concerned about escaping with my life!
But Kate isn't giving up. She's persistent, I'll give her that. And even with all my new-found fancy footwork, I can't seem to shake her. She's closing in on me, no doubt about it! Where I weave, she weaves. Where I duck, she ducks. Where I dodge, she dodges. I haven't seen moves like this since that time I hung out with my uncle's old pal Daredevil!
And she's got this look in her eye of absolute determination. It's like I'm her newest caribou-fix. I mean, that's scary enough when she's got it trained on someone like Razor or Turk, but when she's giving me the full brunt of it… well, I think I know what my next nightmare will be about. I'm absolutely terrified and I'm the one in the monster costume!
I've got to find some way to get away from her! I think about everything in my bag of tricks. Let's see, I don't want to blow her up with my pumpkins or slice her with my bats because she is, at least on some weird level, my friend. And I could use my gas-ghosts but, given that this workout must make it hard for her to breathe anyway (I know it's having that effect on me!) they might just end up suffocating her. Oh, she's really on my tail now! Just a few more seconds and I'll be her newest conquest. And that's when I realize that I really have no choice. I know what I have to use. I already know that I'm going to feel like a real jerk when I do but, like, what are my options? I'm really sorry, Kate. I wish I could tell you how sorry this is going to make me. Y'see, everything I can do you can do better, except for the one thing I've got that I know you can't possibly match… my Lunatic Laugh:
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Kate pauses mid-flip, her face contorted into a look of absolute pain. I can see in her eyes that she's no longer all there. The lights are on but, like, nobody's home. For a moment, she just seems to hover there in the air, as though she's actually flying. And then, she goes down like a rock. I hear a sickening thud as she crashes to the ground.
I stop for a breather, hugging the trunk of a large tree so as I don't fall embarrassingly to the ground. And I think about how much of a stooge I feel like for doing that to her. I stand corrected; that look on her face as she fell from the sky will be the one to haunt my dreams. And I begin to wonder whether she's okay. I mean, I think she should be, but what if she isn't? I wonder if I should go take a look.
And then I wonder if I really have lost my ever-lovin' mind. If I go back and Kate's alright, then she'll see me and be able to chase me again! I mean, whatever happened to her, this is the perfect opportunity for me to bag the scene and nobody would be any wiser. Besides, Hutch and Can-do should be along to help her out. They've had to have been with her before, even though I didn't see them, and I very much doubt that they didn't hear my laughing. (I wouldn't be surprised if all the wolves on the mountain heard my laughing – though I really hope they didn't!) Even if they don't come, Kate's a big girl and she can handle herself.
But I just can't get that image of her face – of those blank eyes – out of my head. Something was definitely wrong there and, no matter how many times I mentally yell at myself for not banging for the safety of my den, I just can't leave her without finding out what happened. So, I swing over to where she went down and peer out from the trees.
And there she is, unconscious on the ground, her head lying on a rock. The moonlight shines on her head and shimmers in what, even with these yellow lenses, I can still recognize as blood. Oh man, this is foul! She must of hit her head when she crashed!
My heart races as I jump over. I've killed her, I just know it! The Green Goblin killed Kate… no, Philip Urich killed Kate... I killed Kate. How am I ever going to be able to look Lilly in the eyes (erm, eye… depending on how she's wearing her fur that day) again knowing that I was the one who killed her sister, her own flesh and blood?
(I love when Lilly wears her fur back. Her lavender eyes are about the most beautiful things I've ever seen.)
But I killed her sister! I must be the world's biggest dork! What the heck am I supposed to do now?
I feel around her neck for a pulse and – Phew! – I manage to find one. She's alive! I didn't kill her, she's alive! But even a dork like me can tell that the blood flowing from her head isn't good. I have to get her to someone who can help. Since I have no idea where Hutch and Can-do have gotten off to, my best bet is the Moonlight Howling.
But that would mean making an appearance as the Green Goblin in front of the whole assembled pack! It's bad enough that Sweets and Candy and Kate all saw me decked out in my emerald apparel! I mean, I only dressed up like this to scare off Razor, not to make some kind of scene!
But I can't leave Kate without proper supervision. I… just… can't!
Slowly, cautiously, as tenderly as I can in a big scaly bodysuit, I pick Kate up in my arms and cradle her head. And I make a dash for the mountain. With all my ever-lovin' strength, speed, and agility, I make a dash for that giant mountain. If ever I needed my Goblin powers, that time is now! And they don't disappoint me. Suddenly, all the fatigue I was feeling is gone. All the difficulty, all the pain, disappears as my feet fly across the valley. I can do this, I know I can. Maybe I'm not Quicksilver, but I can do this! Hold on Kate, we're almost there!
I speed up the mountain path, cutting close on the turns but always retaining my footing. Super-agility, remember? I dart upward, upward, hoping that I'm not too late. I realize that I'm getting nowhere fast, even with my speed. And I'm afraid that Kate won't make it much longer. So, I do what I do best: take a hopeless chance. I dash for the mountain wall, finding grooves in the rock as my feet touch it. And I force myself up, up the side of the mountain.
Man, I know Kate's struggling for her life and everything – and it's my fault – but I can't deny that this is unbelievably cool!
Finally, I make it to the top of the mountain and Kate's still alive. And now I start to think about concealing myself. A bit late, I know, but everything else just took up my mind. Sue me! That's when I notice a big boulder. It looks like my luck is turning around! I jump up to the cliff and scurry to the boulder. Peeking out, I see Humphrey and Winston and Eve and Tony, along with a bunch of other wolves.
"So, I wonder how Kate's doing." Humphrey says, as though he's trying to make small talk.
"I don't like my little girl being out there by herself at night," Eve says. "If that Razor does anything to her, I'll pull his intestines out through his mouth and then force feed them back down his throat!"
Well, she's right to fear, but I can't help imagining, if she'd do that to Razor, what she'd do to me!
"Don't worry, dear," Winston says. "She has Hutch and Can-do there to keep her safe."
Like, not!
Okay, they're all here. Now's my best chance to get Kate the help she needs. For a moment, they all look away. It's all I need. I rush out and gently place Kate upon a smooth rock before ducking back to my hiding place.
"Kate!" They all scream at once when they see her. They come running. Eve and Humphrey both burst into tears.
Tony puts his ear to her chest, makes sure that she's breathing. "It's alright. She's still alive."
"Alright?" Eve says, growling at Tony. "My baby's lying there with her head busted open and you say it's alright? I ought to tear you–"
"Eve, we should see to Kate," Winston says. Tony looks relieved as Eve seems to forget all about him and leans over her daughter.
"Who could possibly do this, Winston?" she says.
I think that's my cue to bang out of here. I mean, I might be able to just barely explain Philip Urich being in places he shouldn't, but there's nobody who can put a good spin on the Green Goblin lurking around a rock just a few feet away from Kate's injured body.
So I make a break for it.
Winston says, "I don't know, Eve, I just don't – what's that?"
They all look just as I make a dive off the cliff.
"That… that thing hurt my baby!" Eve yells. "Tear its heart out and throw it back in its face!"
"Assuming it has a heart," Humphrey points out.
"I don't care what it has! Just tear it out! I want it to suffer for what it did to my Kate!"
Oookayy. Yeah, time for me to skedaddle. Even with my powers back, I don't want to go up against Eve when she's angry.
As I free-fall off the side of the cliff, I notice the wolves are already pursuing me en-mass. Not that they all have seen me, but they're all just running down the mountain anyway. And boy, are they fast. Even with my short cut (or my long splat, as the case may be), I'm gonna have trouble outpacing them. Then I see where the path turns round the mountain. Quickly, I grab a pumpkin bomb and hurl it against the cliff-wall, causing a few small boulders to fall upon the path, blocking the wolves' way down. They won't take too long to remove, but it'll give me the time I need to get back to my den and get out of this get-up before anybody can put two and two together.
Now if I could just solve the problem of falling straight off the top of a mountain to an inevitably painful death on the jagged rocks below!
And the three wings of my cloak flutter around me as I fall, almost like they can defy physics or something. And that gives me an idea. I grab onto two of them and hold them in just the right way to slow my descent. Not by much, but just enough that I'm able to glide to the side of the mountain and get my footing. Now I'm skating down with only my purple pointy-boots to hold out all the pain that going down a mountain at who-knows-how-many-miles-per-hour would cause to my feet. Admittedly, this move with look a lot cooler if I could still bring out my Goblin blades but, if I could still use my blades, I wouldn't have needed to do this in the first place! They're a flying mechanism, for when I can't use my glider, y'understand. And I can only use them when my mask is working, y'also understand. But still, this is, like, a nine-point-five on my personal thrill-o-meter!
Wait a second. Even with everything that's happened tonight, am I actually having fun?
At last, I see the top of my den coming into view. At first I'm not sure, as they all seem to look alike from the top, but as I get closer, I can make out the details of the cliff outside of it. I know I've made it. I'm safe at last, literally home-free! Now all I need to do is hop in the cave and throw all this stuff back in my duffle bag. It's practically already do–
"Phil, are you in there?"
Lilly! Lilly!
Sure enough, that little white beauty's walking toward my den. Luckily, she's not looking up or else she'd get the fright of her life. And I'm not about to give her that. For both our sakes, I'm not about to give her that. I thrust my claws into the rock face and with all my strength I hold back the momentum and force myself to stop. I come to a complete halt just above my den. Perfect, just perfect. I must be the world's biggest dork.
Lilly looks around, sniffs, and listens. When she doesn't get a response (What am I supposed to say? "Hi, Lilly, I've come done with a real bad case of gangrene… and I nearly killed your sister." As if!), she sits down with her back toward the den.
"I just came to see if you wanted to talk," she says. "If you don't want to, that's okay. I just thought that maybe you did."
Don't turn around…. Don't turn around….
"It's just… it's just… I really need somebody to talk to. My parents, Garth, Kate, I don't think they'd understand!" She starts to sob. And I really wish that I could go and put my arm around her. It breaks my heart to see her like this. But, seeing as how I look like I escaped from the North Pole's mental asylum, there's not much I can say or do that would be very comforting to her right now.
More footsteps. Have they caught up to me already? No, just two pairs. Or a single wolf-pair. Wolf-foursome? I don't know, but it's just one wolf.
"Yeah, I thought that you would run straight to him," Garth says as he appears around the corner. Uh-oh, trouble in paradise.
"Garth, why do you have to be like this?" Lilly says, not even looking at him.
"Why did you have to run out on me when we were howling?"
"I just wanted to be able to spend time with you for one night," Lilly says, "but you just can't stop it!"
"What? I can't stop being an Alpha? No, I can't, Lilly. It's my duty to the pack!"
"Just for one night! Why not just for one night? All the time you're with me, you look like you'd rather be out there hunting down Razor with Kate!"
Garth walks up to Lilly and sits beside her. "Lilly, look at me. Look at me, Lilly."
Lilly finally does. Her eyes are full of tears (or my lenses could just be getting an annoying yellow reflection from the moon – either way works, I guess) and the sight clearly upsets him.
He says, "There is no place I'd rather be than next to you. You know that. But I can't help worrying about what's out there, the things – the wolves – that can harm you."
"I know, Garth, but they're not here. But I'm here and you're here and just for one night, you know nothing's going to happen to me as long as you're here. I mean, that's why dad moved the Moonlight Howling here from the central mountain! So why can't we just forget about it for one night?"
I really shouldn't be watching this heart-to-heart, but somehow I just can't turn away – mostly because the slightest movement would probably send the whole rock-face falling to the ground.
Garth shakes his head. "I'm trying, Lilly, I really am. But it seems like you're always getting mad at me for something. And you never get mad at me. I can't help thinking that Phil has something to do with it. What's he filling your mind with?"
If Lilly wasn't here right now, buddy, I'd fill your mind… with the most horrific sight this side of Oscorp!
"He's not filling my mind with anything," Lilly says. "He's just… he's just like me. He understands me when nobody else does."
"How can you say I don't understand you? Me, of all people?"
Lilly shakes her head and closes her eyes. "That's not what I mean, Garth. You understand who I am, but you're from a different background. Alphas and Omegas used to be two different worlds. But Phil's life has been like mine. He knows where I'm coming from. He knows why I feel lonely when you're off hunting caribou or looking for threats to the pack. He knows what that's like."
"And he's a human."
Like, not right now…
"He's a human, Lilly. Don't you understand that? He's a fur-less, two-legged, city-dwelling, man."
And concurrently a chittering green creature from European folklore. Go figure!
Lilly shakes her head. "But he's not like the other humans. He's shy and clumsy and nervous and totally lacking in confidence."
And this is making me feel really good about myself right now. To add to the love-fest, I think the rock-face is finally starting to give out.
"Just like me! But he's also kind and caring and funny and even sort of brave."
Who, me? Couldn't be!
And now the rock-face situation has reached crisis stage. It feels like it's about to give out on me any second now. Totally not good! If only I could think up some way to distract Lilly and Garth while I get back into the cave.
I reach into my bag of tricks, thinking maybe I could send a pumpkin bomb or gas-ghost into a nearby ridge. It would make a scene, but right now I don't exactly have options. But instead I end up pulling out this crescent-moon thing. While it is no doubt appropriate for the occasion, given the full moon above, I have absolutely no idea what it does.
I really should have spent more time getting to know what all this stuff does! But, like, who has the hours these days?
But, these rocks beneath me are not giving me much of a chance to contemplate the meaning of the crescent. Besides, Garth seems to be getting real antsy.
"Well, if he's so kind and brave, I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I had a little chat with him about what you two get up to," he says, heading toward the cave.
Showtime! It's now or never!
As Lilly protests, "I'm not a puppy, Garth," I toss the crescent moon at the ridge where it proceeds to do… absolutely nothing. Great, real brilliant engineering there, Norman or Harry or whoever came up with that. But then it ricochets down the side of the cliff and lands a few feet from Garth and Lilly. To my surprise, this causes it to disintegrate into a strange white mist. Not like the gas of my ghosts or gas-pumpkins, but just kind of a haze. I'm not exactly sure what purpose it serves, but it distracts Lilly and Garth.
"Strange," Garth says. "There hasn't been any mist all night."
"I wonder where it's coming from?" Lilly says.
Too bad (Not!) that she won't get the chance to find out, because I take the opportunity to swing myself down and propel myself into the cave, landing with a thud against the back wall. And while I'd like to sulk in self-pity for landing upside down against a bunch of jagged rocks, there is just no time. I throw my Goblin mask away from my face and try to slip out of my tangled cloak as I get up.
Lilly and Garth have now lost interest in the mist and are coming toward the cave.
"Sounds like he's up," Lilly says. "Phil, are you decent?"
Not yet…
I kick off my boots and tear off my gloves. Just as they're about to enter, I swoop down into my duffle-bag, pulling out an old bathrobe which I throw around my suit. Okay, now I'm decent. Or at least as decent as I can be, under the circumstances. I walk to the cave entrance, just as Lilly and Garth step in. I pray they don't notice the Goblin gear strung around the floor near the back wall.
"What is it, guys?" I say, with my best attempt at a yawn. "I was trying to get some shut-eye when I heard all this noise."
"Well, I was just wondering why you and Lilly–" Garth begins, his tone angry. Not good!
But Lilly cuts him off. "Garth, please."
"No, Lilly, it has to be said. Phil, what is it with you and my mate?"
"Whoa, bud, chill out! What do you mean?" I say. I've already got a feeling for what he means, but I can't let him know that.
"Don't try to hide it, Phil. Come on, what sort of human nonsense are you putting into her head?"
"Just the usual kind we humans do. You know, actually paying attention to her and that sort of thing."
Garth growls. Lilly seems almost frightened. She hides behind my legs. Which is really where I don't need her to be. All it would take is a heavy gust of wind and then my cover's blown!
Garth continues, "I mean, of all the wolves here, why her? And then you always have to go out of your way to 'protect' her." I can practically feel the air-quotes. "Do you have some sort of hero-complex or something?"
I chuckle, making sure not to let it evolve into you-know-what. "Come on, Garth! Me, a hero-complex? Be serious. I don't even have to guts to stand in the same general area as Eve!"
Lilly laughs a little. I lean my face closer toward Garth's.
"Though I admit, the idea that people like you actually get to go out and be courageous and help people does sometimes make me… green… with envy."
Garth snarls. "I'm telling you, Phil, stay away from Lilly."
"I think the lady can make her own decisions about who she wants to be friends with," I say.
"You just think you can get away with – where's Ace?" Garth looks all around. "Where is your guard? This is a direct violation of–"
"I'm right here," Ace says as he comes sauntering down the path, still wearing his lens-less sunglasses. "I just stepped away for a second to get some water. I figured since Phil here was sound asleep that it wouldn't be too much of a problem."
"Are you sure, Ace?" Garth says. "Because I'm sure I saw you at the Moonlight Howling."
"Oh, Garth, you're too suspicious," Lilly says. "Besides, you were too busy looking down into the valley all night to notice anybody else."
But then I see Humphrey coming into view. Well, I should have figured that if Ace got out, then that must mean that the path was cleared by now. And I really want to make myself look small.
"Lilly, Garth, I've been looking all over for you guys!" Humphrey says, out of breath. "It's… it's… it's Kate! She's been hurt really bad!"
"What? Kate?" Lilly and Garth say together.
"What happened?" Garth says, immediately acting like he's going to take command of the situation. "Was it Razor?"
"I… I really don't know," Humphrey says. "All we saw was this giant green blur dropping her off at the Howling. Then it disappeared along the side of the mountain. I can't even begin to guess what it was."
Lilly's eyes are filled with concern and worry as she walks toward Humphrey. Well, it is her sister. "Kate…Is she… is she going to be okay?"
"I don't know, Lilly. I really don't know. It doesn't look good right now."
Lilly, I am so sorry! That's all I want to tell you right now. But I know I can't because… how you'd hate me… for what I've done to Kate! But I am so sorry!
"Come on, Lilly," we have to get up there," Garth says. They all start to follow. But then Garth turns toward me. "You, Phil, you just stay here! This is wolf business! Ace, stick around and guard him! Don't let him out of your sight again!"
Then he and Humphrey continue to run. Lilly looks back toward me, as though asking what she should do.
"Go," I say. She nods and runs up the path. In all the excitement, nobody noticed that I was too scared to actually go anyway.
"That's a real shame about Kate," Ace says as I pass him and go into my den.
"Yeah," I say. "Like, did you see what happened?"
"No, but I heard Sweets and Candy talking like it was some sort of monster or something! Everybody just think's they're trying to get some of the attention. They do stuff like that."
"So, you think Kate'll be okay?"
Ace smiles. "Relax, my boy! If anybody can pull through, it's the toughest Alpha of them all!"
But I'm just wondering if the toughest Alpha of them all can withstand the Most Maniacal Super Hero of All. I don't dare tell him that, though.
"Cheer up, man, it's not like it's your fault," Ace says. If he only knew. If only he knew…
I try to smile. "I'm just really worried about her, is all. I know we haven't exactly gotten off on the right foot, but she is one of the wolves I've seen the most of this past week."
"Hey, I get you," Ace says, "but at least you were able to catch up on your rest. Though, from the looks of you, you could have been up all night!"
My heart jumps. "Oh, yeah. It's just a bit hard sleeping on the rough ground… for a human, I mean. Besides, I've been having nightmares recently. I think it's all this with Razor and Turk and… whatever."
"I hear that," Ace says.
I leave him to his duties and enter the cave. When I'm sure he's not paying the slightest attention, I throw off my robe and change out of the rest of my outfit, replacing it with my regular clothes. Then I try to gather it all up so no one sees. And I pick up my Goblin mask. I stare into the new yellow eyes and the big, toothy grin. It gets me thinking.
Maybe it was for the best that the Green Goblin hung up his pointy boots in the first place. I mean, my one-time only return was hardly a stellar success. Though my powers seemed to come back in just when I needed them, they're now gone again and I have no idea why. I went out with the sole purpose of drumming Razor for bothering the pack, and while that was accomplished, sort-off, I ended up putting even more of a fright into Sweets and Candy than into the bad guy! The green dude was right; it was not exactly my most heroic moment. And then, Kate. I nearly killed Kate tonight. I could've killed Kate if there had been a bigger rock or a sharper log or something much deadlier there than there was. Who knows, she might still die because of me. I mean, for someone who was so afraid of losing his own life, caution was never one of my strong suits. But my reckless behavior never came back to haunt me as strongly as it did tonight. Even if Kate recovers, I can't help but feel that I've got her blood on my hands.
Just thinking about her gives me pause. I mean, she never questioned whether she should pursue me or not. She never thought about her own fear – if she had any fear – when it came to hunting down Razor or pursuing the giant green ghoul swinging away through the trees. Everything she did was for the good of the pack. Now, that's responsibility. And that's something I can never live up to. So I throw my mask down to the ground. I resolve that, for my own good as well as the good of all those around me, I should just give up on being a super hero. Tonight, the Green Goblin has laughed his last.
I hear the woodsman's voice whispering in my head, "No, he hasn't…."
There you have it, true believers! The Green Goblin has returned, but at what cost? Is this really the end of the line for Kate? Perhaps more importantly, is this really the end of the line for our favorite maniac? Jasper Park has met its newest - and strangest - protector, but the consequences are going to be bigger and more bizarre than even the Green Goblin could have imagined. You won't want to miss a single twist or turn of the unfolding adventure as the Green Goblin becomes "Public Enemy No. 1"!
