1Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and company. I do however own the plot and any other character
Chapter Nine: Kagome's Reaction
Sesshoumaru sat behind his desk after Inuyasha had left. He reached into his third desk drawer on the left side to see if Inuyasha had taken his journal and to his surprise it was still there and it looked like it had just been written in as well. There was a fresh scent of his brother coming from the drawer. Sesshoumaru took it out and opened it to where he had left off at and read,
Well I know now that my brother's heart isn't made of Ice at least. But I know something else I can not allow I can not allow anything to harm Rin in anyway or it will kill my brother. He loves this girl with all his heart and I know that is important to him. In the end I know that I will have to leave him. I can not keep watching over him with Naraku so close. Naraku knows about my love and I can not allow Naraku to harm my love.
I will ask Kagome to go home for her test and I will have Sango and Miroku stay with Kaede and Shippou who is my son in many ways. I can not allow anything to happen to him either because I know he is as much her son as he is mine. I have to leave my makeshift family to protect my love's life.
If I do not come back and this is found by you Kagome know that I am truly sorry I didn't tell you but I knew how you would react to hearing who my love is. I saw how you reacted to the couple in your time that one time when we were walking back from the movies. I know this is something that will be hard for you but I hope that you will not think less of me or him. Kouga is my love and has been for a long time. We have been together even before I was pinned to the tree by Kikyo. I love him and he will always own my soul and you own my heart Kagome and always will. I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart. I will see you in the other world or in your time when I am reincarnated.
Sesshoumaru if it is you that has found this journal I want you to know that I know about Alkine. He wants to see you on the Summer Solstice a year from now. I want to tell you something I know you need to hear. I do not blame you for sending me away like you did. I know now that it was just to protect me in fact I have always known that. I love you Sesshoumaru and nothing can ever change that for me. I will never feel or think any less than I do now of you. I have to go and help my love before Naraku gets to him.
I will never forget any of you.
Sesshoumaru put the book down and looked out his window. He knew that what Inuyasha had written was the complete and utter truth. He knew that whatever happened to Inuyasha had changed his way of thinking. He didn't think the same way as before. He wondered if Inuyasha had written what had happened in his journal. He turned his attention back to the pages of his brother's life that he held in his hands and read,
Well I got there before Kouga was harmed by Naraku. But something terrible happened to me though. I don't know if I want to write this in here seeing as how it will be seen in the future. But I have to write it down somewhere so its no longer in my head. I need to get it out of my head so I won't think about it any more. I can't even close my eyes without seeing or feeling what I went through a month ago. It took me a month to get back to my family and you should have seen Kagome's face when I walked into Kaede's village.
Kouga helped me back to the village after he came after me. I will elaborate later in this entry. Kagome can sense the Shikon no tama shards and Kouga owns two of them they are in his legs that is why he is so fast. She must have sensed his jewel shards and she came out of Kaede's hut. I guess she was waiting for Kouga to come and tell her that I had been killed because she was already crying before we even got there. She saw that Kouga had me and she was so happy. But she was worried because Kouga was basically dragging me to the hut because I could hardly walk alone and I was slumped forward in his arms. I must have passed out half way there because all I remember is hearing Kagome's blood chilling scream of my name then nothing until I woke up three weeks later.
When I awoke I had been out for three weeks and Kagome was kneeling next to me tending to my wounds like she always does. She never allows anyone else to do except when she is mad at me then Miroku does it or Sango which ever one isn't hurt that bad. I know that Kagome was doing it absent mindedly because she didn't notice I was awake until I grabbed her hand as she tied off the last bandage and brought it to my lips. She nearly screamed and fainted when she saw I was awake. She threw her arms around my neck and said, "Oh inuyasha I am so glad you are awake. You had me so worried." I hate to make her worry about me because then she doesn't sleep for a long time without me holding her and I can't protect them all if I have her in my arms. So anyway I said I would elaborate more on what happened to me later in this entry so here it goes. I don't want to let anyone know that this happened to me but I have to get it out in the open some how.
When I found out that Naraku was going to attack Kouga I took off as soon as Kagome went back to her time period. I made sure Kirara couldn't follow my scent. So that my friends couldn't follow me in case something happened to me. I hid My diary somewhere safe and I knew that they would find it in the end because Kagome knew where I would hid it and she knew if I was gone for more than three months to get it. Because she knows that if it takes me longer than three months to get back to her then I am not coming back from where I went. I told her that myself actually. But anyway when I got to Naraku's castle I found Kagura who let me pass unscathed along with Kanna. They were waiting for me and the let me pass. I knew right there that something was horribly wrong but I couldn't let anything happen to Kouga in the least. So I continued on my way and I came to the castle itself. That's where Naraku held Kouga. I saw them together. Naraku had a collar around Kouga's neck. Kouga tried to get to me and away from Naraku but found that he couldn't. He was forcefully pulled back toward Naraku because of the chain attached to the collar. I was furious because Naraku had done this to Kouga. I knew how long it took for Kouga to admit to himself that he had no interest in woman at all but just what he has for Ayame and Naraku was exploiting that. I charged at Naraku and he pulled on the chain harder and I stopped mid run. I knew that if I wanted Kouga to be free I had to exchange something for him. That is how Naraku works you see. If you want something you exchange something else for it. Well I didn't have the jewel so I exchanged the only thing I had with me, myself.
Sesshoumaru quit reading and looked up thinking I can't believe Inuyasha gave himself to Naraku for Kouga. He must really love him to do that. I still wonder what happened to my little brother while he was with Naraku. Sesshoumaru turned his attention back to the journal and read:
I told Naraku to let Kouga go and he said, "Why should I Inuyasha? What have you to offer me in exchange for his freedom? The Shikon Jewel perhaps." Kouga looked from Naraku to me and said, "Inuyasha don't give it to him I'm not worth it. If he gets a hold of the pieces you have then he will be unstoppable." I looked at my lover and knew what he meant but he was worth it at least to me he was. So I said, "I don't have the Shikon Jewel with me Kagome has it with her. I have something else to exchange for his freedom though something more precious to you then the Shikon no Tama." Naraku looked at me as did Kouga and Naraku said, "What exactly is more precious than the Shikon no Tama to me Inuyasha?" Inuyasha said, "A new pet to kick around. You can have me if you let Kouga go free and I won't fight you on it. You can do as you please without me fighting you so long as you let him go." Kouga said, "No Inuyasha don't. He'll kill you if you give him that." Naraku said, "Deal." Then let Kouga go free. He went over to me and said softly to where only I could hear him, "Inuyasha don't do it. What about Kagome? What will she think of all this? Your just going to leave her all alone in this time with no idea where you are. I know she doesn't know because she would have went with you and she's not here." I said just as low, "Kouga just go home back to your tribe alright. I did this for a reason I know what I am doing. He won't kill me torture me yes kill me no. He loves to toy with me nothing more. He will get bored of me later and let me go. You just wait for my signal and come to get me alright." Kouga said, "What signal?" I said, "The one I normally give you my love." Then I walked around Kouga and went over to Naraku where I knelt at his side and waited for the collar and found that he actually put a different one on me then he had Kouga.
I was left in a dark room all alone. I didn't know what he was going to do with me but I knew that I was not going to fight him on it or he would go after Kouga again. I knew I couldn't let that happen so when Naraku came into the room I knew that he had something sinister in mind. He came over to me and put his hand around my throat and dragged me backward over to a bed placed in the far corner. I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. Naraku is a sick and twisted half breed that deserves to die for more than one reason.
I cannot tell you what he did to me because it is to painful but I can tell you this it was a living nightmare. That night I slept next to Naraku I could feel ever inch of his bare body next to mine. I did not scream, fight, or cry for anyone to help me the whole time. Over the next week I because Naraku's play toy. He did everything imaginable to me within that week. After he was tired of me being his play toy in bed he would do exactly what I said he would. He tortured me relentlessly over the next two months while using me as his personal toy. It has been a couple of weeks since then and I can still feel his hands on me. Its really scary but I will get over it like I always have. I will just lock it up with everything else that has ever happened to me. Naraku is not the first person to use me as their personal sex toy. There have been countless others before him. Not all of them are Demons either there were Humans and even some half demons as well. I know for a fact that I will be fine because the others haven't affected me in anyway so why should this one.
Like I told Kouga Naraku got bored of me and let me go. He just took the collar off one night and when I awoke there was no one at the castle at all. So I walked as best I could out of the castle and I let out a weak Howl to Kouga. He heard me and I only pray that Sesshoumaru didn't hear me and come to find out why I would howl for Kouga and not him while I was hurt. I didn't want Sesshoumaru to fell sorry for me because I don't need his pity in the least. I didn't want anyone's pity at all. I could barely see or smell anything. Kouga came to my side just like I knew he would. He asked me if I was alright and I gave him a weak smile and nodded my head. He helped me up and we headed for Keade's village and that is where I started. So now that I have that off of my chest I no longer have to hide from sleep anymore. So I think that I will go to sleep now.
Sesshoumaru hadn't known that Inuyasha had been abused in such a way before. He looked back at all the other entry's and wondered if that was what was missing in the entries. He would have to talk to Inuyasha later about it. At the moment he had to get to sleep. He knew that he was not long for this world and he wanted to be with the one he loved most of all.
The next morning everyone was in the dinning room eating when Alkine came into the room. Everyone was watching him including Inuyasha who sat across from Kagome who tensed up and eyed him suspiciously. Inuyasha knew that she did not trust him even though he had apologized for the attack she would never trust him at least not complete. Alkine went over to Sesshoumaru and hugged him from behind around his neck. The whole dinning room had went quiet after that.
Alkine still had his arms around Sesshoumaru's neck when he said, "Good morning my love. I take it you slept well."
Everyone was speechless except Inuyasha who was not paying attention to them but to Kagome. Who was watching them and waiting for Sesshoumaru's response. Even his servants were waiting. They had not see Alkine and Sesshoumaru like this in a long time. Sesshoumaru looked up at Alkine and gave him a small smile. He would have chosen his words differently had he not promised to find out how Kagome would react.
Sesshoumaru said, "Good morning to you to my love and I did."
Alkine to everyone at the table's surprise kissed Sesshoumaru on the lips and Sesshoumaru graced him with one as well. Inuyasha saw the disgust on Kagome's face and knew he could never tell her. He was going to have to keep it a secret till the day he died. He was going to have to hid his love for Kouga from his other love.
After breakfast Kagome and Inuyasha were walking in the garden when Inuyasha stopped. They were far from prying eyes and ears. He could no longer keep this to himself. He had to tell her and trust that she would not treat them any differently.
Kagome turned to face Inuyasha and said, "Inuyasha what is wrong?"
Inuyasha sat on the stone bench and looked at the ground. He let out a hopeless sigh and buried his face in his hands. Kagome went over to him and put her arms around him.
She said, "Inuyasha what is wrong? Why will you not tell me?"
Inuyasha said, "Kagome what do you think of my brother's choice in a mate?"
Kagome said, "I will not judge him for his choice. If Alkine makes him happy then I will accept it. Why do you not like it?"
Inuyasha said, "No I knew long before you all did. I knew before I was pinned to the tree. Kagome I have been keeping something from you and I can not keep it from you any longer."
Kagome said, "What have you been keeping from me Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha looked at her and said, "I love you Kagome you know that and I would never hurt you on purpose you know that. Right?"
Kagome said, "I know that."
Inuyasha said, "I love you with all my heart but my soul belongs to another Kagome."
Kagome said, "I know that. Your soul belongs to Kikyo I know that already Inuyasha."
Inuyasha said, "No it does not. It belongs to someone else that I love. Someone so special I exchanged myself for them to Naraku."
He stood up and she looked at him and said, "Is that where you were those three months you were gone?"
Inuyasha turned and said, "I had no choice Kagome Naraku went after them. I had to stop him. I did not mean to leave you for so long. I just hope you will not judge us later."
Kagome said, "Who is it that owns you soul Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha said, "You know them Kagome. You know them enough that you can consider them friends."
Kagome said, "Why do you keep using the word them? Why not she?"
Inuyasha did not look at her and said, "It is not a she Kagome. I am exactly like my brother."
Kagome got up and turned his face toward her.
She said, "Who is he Inuyasha?"
He said, "My soul belongs to Kouga."
She looked at him and said, "Does Ayame know about you two?"
He said, "I don't' know. I wasn't going to tell you after this morning but I could not keep it from you any longer."
Inuyasha fell to his knees and put his head against her stomach.
He said, "Please do not hate me for this Kagome."
Kagome said, "Inuyasha I do not hate you alright. I love you and if he makes you happy then so be it. I will not come between you two."
He said, "Kagome we both decided to take female mates as well as each other for the sake of our kind and the fact that we love you two as well. We could not choose between the two so we took both. It is allowed once in a while so we took it. Are you mad?"
She said, "No I am not mad. If you want to see him now you don't have to sneak off behind my back like you always do. I really don't mind Inuyasha if you are happy the way things are going then I am fine with it."
Inuyasha said, "When did you find out about it? I know you didn't just find out about it just now. You would have killed me or sat me if you had."
Kagome said, "Your right I didn't just find out about it. I knew that you and Kouga were together. That's why I didn't go after you when you left me so many times to go be with Kouga. I knew that you weren't going to see Kikyo because you didn't need her with Kouga. When I came back and you weren't there the others said that you went off on your own after I left. I knew that if you didn't come back within three months that I was to go and get your journal so I waited worried the whole time whether you would come back or I would loose you forever. So I waited the time and when you didn't come back I went and got your journal if I had waited only five more days I would have known you were alright. But I didn't and I read your journal's last entry only like you said to. So I read all about how you loved Kouga and all. I'm sorry Inuyasha for doing that."
Inuyasha said, "You did nothing wrong you did what I told you to do Kagome. I am just glad that you listened to me and that you will accept my choice and allow me to stay with you."
Kagome smiled and said, "I know Inuyasha. I love you with all my heart."
Inuyasha said, "I love you with all of my heart too Kagome. Kagome if you want to you can choose someone else to be with from your own time period. I won't mind that way you won't feel cheated with me having two mates and you only having one."
Kagome said, "I will think about it Inuyasha but I don't think I will choose another to be with. I love you way too much for that."
Kagome smiled and both of them sat under the Sakura tree while the wind blew through both of their hairs and the flowers came down around them. Kagome smiled and felt one of the Sakura blossoms land in her hair. Inuyasha laughed and Kagome could feel it through her back as she leaned against Inuyasha's chest.
