Wow, literally years since I updated. I stumbled across my account and thought, screw it! I'm gonna try again! Let's see how it goes...
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Kai's POV.
Crap...today is the day...test day...I'm so nervous, I feel sick! I've been cramming until god knows what time every night this week...and now I can't even remember what I've been studying! I need to keep it together! I can't fail this test...I just can't!
Normal POV.
Kai got up and dressed and went to the kitchen as usual.
"Morning Kai!", his aunt and uncle said in unison.
"...morning...", he replied quietly.
"I'll make you some breakfast", Katya said as she started to rise from her chair.
"Sorry auntie...I can't stomach anything right now..." he said gloomily as he rested his head against his hand on the table.
"You nervous about your test?", Sergei asked, Kai nodded.
"Don't worry, we know you've worked really hard for it...no matter what happens, we're very proud of you and everything will be all right." he comforted.
"Thank you...I'd better get going..." Kai said as he lethargically got up from his seat. "Ok...well, good luck! We'll be thinking of you!"
"Thanks..." was all he said before he left the house.
Unfortunately for Kai, the test wasn't until after school. He sat through each of his classes unable to concentrate. He didn't care about math or science today. All he could do was scramble his brain trying to remember everything he'd studied.
At lunchtime, he sat at his usual place, a plate of food pushed to one side, he couldn't eat today. He was frantically flipping through his notebook and copy of Romeo and Juliet.
"Hey Kai! What's all this?" Tyson asked as he set his tray down next to the stressed out boy.
"My test is after school. I'm remembering nothing!" he said with a hint of panic in his voice.
Max and Kenny set their trays down opposite him.
"Hey, don't panic! Just remember to B.S and you'll be fine!" Tyson said confidently.
"BS?" Kai asked
"Bull. Shit. If you don't know the exact answer just write something else and make it SOUND like you know what you're talking about."
Kai couldn't help but laugh a little. "Good advices. Thanks."
Later that day, Kai sighed as he heard the bell ring. It was time.
He took one final glance at his notebook, praying something would sink in to his brain.
"...it's no use now...lets get this over with." he thought to himself.
He walked to the English classroom and knocked on the door.
"Come in!" he heard the familiar voice of Mr. Kon summoning him in.
He opened the door slowly and walked in.
"Kai! Come and take a seat! You ready for the test?" he asked gently.
Kai sighed and nodded so gently it almost wasn't a nod. He took his seat and took out his pen.
"Are you ok? You look terrified!"
"I'm very nervous..." he admitted.
"Don't panic, remember this isn't an official exam, it's just to check if you can handle the summer tests. I have complete faith that this will be easy for you!" Rei smiled at him. "So...here it is, you have forty minutes. Good luck and remember, relax! I know you can do it!"
He set the paper in front of him and went back to his desk. He checked his watch. "Ok you can start...now!"
Kai took a deep breath and turned the paper over.
"Love manifests itself in a multitude of ways in the play. Compare and contrast Romeo's love for Rosaline with Romeo's love for Juliet."
Kai read the question over and over again. "Manifest!? Contrast!? What the hell do those words mean!?"
Rei looked up after a few minutes when he realised he couldn't hear Kai writing. "The poor kid looks terrified...oh no...It looks like he hasn't got a clue...come on Kai! I know you can do this! If you can't handle this there's no way you'll be able to handle the summer tests..."
He noticed that Kai was breathing pretty deeply and irregularly. Was he panicking?
"Kai are you all right?" he asked, concerned.
Kai looked up at him, his eyes filled with panic. "I...I don't..." he felt himself getting more and more worked up. He just wanted to run out the room.
"Kai take a deep breath, the more you panic, the more your mind will cloud". Kai did as he was told and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down.
"Don't you understand the question?" Rei asked.
Kai sighed. "I'm not sure...I think so...but there are words I don't know..."
"Well, what do you think you have to do?" Rei asked.
"I have to talk about how Romeo loves Rosaline different to Juliet and why it is...?" Kai asked unsure, fearing it was wrong and he'd look stupid.
Rei's eyes brightened, he smiled and nodded. "That's exactly right! See, no need to panic after all!"
Kai sighed with relief. He picked up his pen and started writing furiously, he'd wasted fifteen of his forty minutes worrying about the question.
Rei sat back and watched his student with a small smile, "You had me worried for a minute there, Kai..."
Twenty five minutes later, Rei's watch beeped. "Ok, Kai! Pen down please!"
Kai wrote furiously to finish the sentence he was writing and slammed his pen down on the desk.
"So...what do you think?" Rei asked him enthusiastically. He was sure by the way that Kai was writing that he'd found it easy.
"umm...I know answer...but...I can't say what I want in English..." Kai said in a defeated voice, "I try my best but I think...not good enough..."
Rei sighed "No confidence whatsoever...". "Well, I'm sure it's better than you think, I'll grade it tonight and give it back to you tomorrow. Whatever happens Kai, I'm very proud of you, I know how hard you've worked for this."
"Thank you, Mr. Kon..." Kai said softly as he grabbed his bag and left the room.
As he walked in to the front door of his house, he cringed as he heard his aunts voice.
"Kai! You're home! How did it go!?" She called as she rushed to greet him, Tala and Sergei close behind them.
Kai sighed, he didn't feel like explaining. They all looked so hopeful, he didn't have the heart to tell them it didn't go as well as he'd hoped.
"I don't want to talk about it..." he said as he walked past them and went upstairs to the sanctuary of his bedroom.
He flopped down on his bed. He was exhausted. He'd hardly slept all week. He turned on his side, going over everything he'd written on his test.
There was a knock on the door, Sergei opened the door. "Kai...I know you want to be left alone, but what happened?"
"I blew it..." Kai said sadly, "The worst thing is I knew the answer to the question...I just didn't know how to say it in English..."
Sergei sat on the side of Kai's bed and rubbed his back, "Don't worry, Kai, I know it's frustrating but you never know, you might have done a lot better than you think you did. Mr. Kon believes in you and so do we. Don't beat yourself up before you know how even did."
Kai nodded and rolled over so that his face was buried in his pillow, "Sorry uncle Sergei...I'm so tired, can I please just go to sleep?". "Sure thing, champ." Sergei said as he left the room.
Rei got home from work, he opened the front door and tripped over Lee's bag.
"Damnit, Lee! I'm gonna break my neck one of these days!" he shouted. All he got was a small "Sorry!" in response.
He walked through to the living room. Lee was on the couch. "Lee do you EVER move from that couch?" he asked, teasingly. "Hey! I work hard too! Don't forget, while you're sound asleep at 5am, I've been up and already worked two hours!" he argued defensively.
"Relax, I'm just teasing!" Rei laughed.
"So, how was your day?" Lee asked lazily.
"It was good, gave Kai his test today." He replied as he sat next to his friend, opening his bag and rummaging through it.
"Oh yeh! How'd he do?" he asked.
"Lets find out, shall we?" Rei said as he pulled out Kai's test to grade.
"Whoa, you look nervous yourself..." Lee said with a grin.
"You know, I am a little...I really want him to stay in my class. He's such a nice kid and I think...I think he relies on me. He's confided a lot in me and I think if he has to move classes it may help his English but it won't help him, you know?"
"Hmm...sounds like you've made a pretty big bond with this guy, I've never seen you like this about one particular student before."
"I know, right? Maybe because he's going through a lot of things I've been through, he relates to me."
"Well, just be careful, Rei." Lee warned.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Rei asked.
"Well, you told me the kid is gay, right? He knows you are too and thinks the sun shines out your butt. Be careful he doesn't get some schoolboy crush on you."
Rei laughed, "just because we're both gay doesn't mean he's gonna fall in love with me, it's a teacher/student thing, that's all!"
"Good, just warning you! You know how some of these shy kids can be, show them any affection and they take it the wrong way. Now grade the paper, I want to know how he did, too!"
Rei giggled and then started reading.
Ten minutes later, he put the paper down.
"Well?" Lee asked.
Rei sighed and handed Lee the paper. "You read it and tell me what you think..."
The next morning Kai got to school early, he couldn't handle not knowing. He had to find Rei and find out.
He nervously approached the teacher's room and knocked on the door of Rei's office.
"Come in!"
He opened the door and poked his head around it.
"Kai? What are you doing here so early?" Rei asked.
Kai came in to the office and shut the door.
"I...I'm sorry to disturb, but I have to know, did I...?"
Rei felt sorry for him, he'd obviously been obsessing over it since yesterday and needed to be put out his misery. "Sit down, Kai, let's talk..."
Kai didn't like the sound in Rei's voice and nervously sat down as he was told.
Rei looked at him for a few seconds, thinking about what he was going to say to him.
"Kai, the answers you gave in this test were perfect."
Kai looked up, shocked "They were?!" he couldn't believe it.
"But..." Rei started again before he let the kid get excited. "I struggled to understand what you'd written...it took me a while to figure out what it was you were trying to say."
Kai felt numb, he just stared at his teacher, so did he pass or not?
"Which is why this is difficult..." Rei started again. "On the one hand, once I'd worked out what you were saying, the answer was great. Perfect in fact. Which tells me you're not having trouble understanding the content of the classes. But on the other, and this isn't your fault, but you're level of English just isn't strong enough to clearly give the answer. This time I graded your paper, I could take the time to sit and figure it out, but in summer it won't be me grading your pa-"
"You don't need to say more..." Kai cut him off, "...I failed...My English isn't good enough to stay in your class, I'm out...thank you for all your helping and support..." Kai said and he quickly got up and left Rei's office before he started crying.
"Kai, wait a secon- Kai!" Rei called after him.
Kai ran in to the bathroom, luckily none of the other students would get to school for another half hour, so he wouldn't be disturbed.
He leaned against the wall and rubbed his eyes, he was desperate not to cry, but he felt like such a failure and so defeated it was impossible to stop.
"Why!? Why did I have to fuck it up!? Why didn't I work harder?! Why did I spend half the time worrying about the stupid question instead of being more careful with my answer!?"
He quickly wiped his eyes when he heard the bathroom door open.
"Kai, are you in here?" it was Rei.
"Please leave me alone..." he replied.
"Kai you didn't let me- aw Kai why are you crying?" Rei asked soothingly.
Kai straightened up and did his best to lie "I'm not crying!"
"You're a terrible liar, Kai...now, as I was saying you didn't let me finish so dry your eyes and lets go back to my office, OK?"
Kai pulled himself together and nodded, trying to keep to his lie that he wasn't crying in the first place. Rei shook his head softly "Man, I didn't think he'd take it this hard if he failed. He really wants to stay in my class."
Back in his office, he sat Kai down and knelt in front of him, looking the upset boy in the eyes, but he just looked at his lap.
"This time let me finish before you react, OK?"
Kai nodded.
"As I was saying, your English needs to improve for you to pass your exams. Now, if you got the answer completely wrong AND didn't write in understandable English, I'd have failed you..."
Kai looked up and met his teacher's gaze, anxious for him to continue.
"But like I was saying before you ran off, I can tell you understand the content, it's just difficult for you to put it down. So. I've decided that you can stay in my class on one condition."
"Anything!" Kai blurted out before realising how needy it sounded and blushed.
Rei giggled, "Twice a week after school, you and I are going to have extra tutoring. I'm going to help you with your spelling and grammar and help you with phrases you need to write a better essay."
"You will do this...for me?" Kai asked, he couldn't believe it.
"Of course, I'm not going to put one of my brightest students in a lower class if I can help it!" Rei said as he stood up.
"Really, Mr. Kon, thank you. I won't let you down." he said confidently before leaving.
Rei smiled. "I know you won't Kai."
The next day was Wednesday. AKA, P.E. First period day.
Tyson, Max, Kenny and Kai were talking as they got their P.E. Clothes out.
"Man, I hate basketball! I'm too short for it!" Kenny complained. The others laughed.
"Now, now, Kenny, it's not all about height!" came a familiar voice from behind them.
"Mr. Kon! Are you joining us again today?" Max asked.
"Sure am! I love basketball, I had to get in on it! Rei said as he set his gym bag next to Kai and started getting his clothes out.
They all started to strip, Kai hated this part. Before he became friends with Tyson and the others he'd hide behind a corner.
He started to lift his shirt off and tugged, but something had caught his hair and he was stuck.
"Oh crap, crap, crap! I can't pull it off or back down!" he panicked as he was stuck with his shirt over his head with his chest and stomach exposed.
He let out an "ow!" as he tried tugging it off again, something was stuck in his hair and it pulled.
"Hahaha! You ok there Kai?" he heard Tyson laugh "and dude, have you been working out? Your abs look great!"
Kai was almost grateful the shirt covered his face and couldn't see it burning red. "Shut up! I'm stuck!"
The three boys laughed. "Is not funny! Can someone help me instead of laugh at me!?"
"Haha! Ok, Kai, hang on!" he heard Rei's voice.
"Ohhhh noooo...not you! How embarassing!"
His teacher stood close against Kai's back and put his hand down the shirt and felt the back of Kai's head. Kai could feel the warmth of his teachers bare skin against him.
"Sorry if I pull your hair! Doesn't feel too tangled though!" Rei said, amused as he untangled the button. After a few seconds he pulled the shirt over Kai's head, freeing him. "There! You're free!"
"Thank you..." Kai mumbled, embarassed.
"Wow, you're arms are looking good too, Kai!" Tyson said, looking his friend up and down.
Kai sighed, Tyson wasn't helping his embarassment.
He quickly put his t-shirt on, covering up.
"OK! Let's go play some B-ball!" Rei said enthusiastically.
They got in to the gym and awaited their tyrannt P.E teacher.
"RIGHT LADIES! MAKE TEAMS OF FIVE! NOW!" He bellowed as he marched in to the gym.
Of course, Tyson, Max, Kenny and Kai joined up together.
"Man, we need one more player!" Tyson grumbled.
Rei walked over to them. "Can I join your team? No one else wants to play with their lame old teacher I guess. Heh!"
"Of course Mr. K!" Tyson beamed. "We'd all love you to play with us, wouldn't we Kai?"
Kai glared at him quickly, he hated when he made little hints like that "...of course." he answered back.
Rei signalled to the P.E. Teacher and gestured that he was with their team.
"OK PUNY INSECTS! After warming up we will go straight in to matches, first will be Mr. Kon's team vs. Nathan's team. Then Steven vs Craig's team. Got it!?"
"YES, SIR!" they shouted.
Kai groaned, he and Nathan still weren't exactly on speaking terms after the fight a week or so back. He didn't like the way Nathan and his team of goons were sneering at them.
Tyson noticed, "Don't worry about them, Kai, we'll flatten them quickly!"
Rei noticed, too. "Maybe I could talk to Mr Smith and ask him to change the team..."
"No." Kai answered bluntly "I'm not afraid of him and I won't let him think he wins over me."
Rei nodded, he understood where he was coming from.
The game started, unfortunately, both team was determined to flatten the other.
Kai and Tyson flew around the court, blocking Nathan's team from passing. Kai managed to get the ball and skilfully dribbled across the court, jumped and slammed the first basket.
"WOOOOO! That a boy, Kai!" Tyson cheered as he ran and high-fived his friend.
The game resumed, this time the others got more involved. Nathan's team may have been a lot bigger and stronger, but the other were far more athletic and quick.
The score was now 3-0 to Kai's team. Nathan and his friends didn't look happy at all.
"Nathan, they're trashing us! What are we going to do?" One of the friends asked.
"...Time to play dirty I think..." Nathan smirked evilly.
The game started again, Max had the ball and managed to pass it to Kai who flew across the court towards Nathan, who snickered to himself. He quickly checked that Mr. Smith wasn't watching and as Kai went past him stuck his foot up and tripped the boy who was travelling at a fast speed.
Kai wasn't able to keep his balance and landed awkwardly on his left ankle, he let out a shout of pain as he fell and slid across the floor, then grabbing his ankle.
"Kai!" his team-mates called as they ran to him.
"Kai are you all right? What happened?!" Rei asked as he knelt down beside him.
"I trip...that's all, I'm OK!" he said as he sat back up.
"Did you hurt your ankle? Can you get up?" Rei asked as he noticed the boy was grabbing it.
Kai nodded, "but is OK" he protested.
Rei pushed the boys hand away from his ankle and took hold of it. "Does this hurt?" he asked as he gently moved the boys ankle with his hands. Kai let out a grunt of pain.
"I take that as a yes...lets get you to the nurses office, I think you've sprained it."
Kai tried to get up but struggled, Rei took the boys arm and put it around his shoulder, putting his other arm around the boys waist to help him up.
"Grrrr...Nathan, this is all you fault! I saw what you did!" Tyson fumed.
The others looked at him, apart from Kai who was dreading what was about to follow.
"I don't know what you're talking about" Nathan denied.
"I saw you trip him! You're pathetic!" Tyson spat.
"Nathan that better not be true!" Mr Smith bellowed as he came to check on Kai, he heard what Tyson had said.
"It isn't!" Nathan denied sweetly.
"Oh really? Then how did he trip?" Rei asked, he knew Nathan had done something just by the way he was smirking.
"Hey, not fault the foreigner was charging around like a lunatic!"
Mr. Smith sighed, "Mr. Kon, would you mind taking him to the nurse's office? Nathan I'll have a word with you in a minute."
"Sure, come on Kai, take it steady there's no rush..." he said softly as he helped the injured boy hobble.
They were making their way down the hallway, Kai's ankle was killing but he couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of his teacher's arm around his waist.
Rei's POV.
Poor kid...he looks in a lot of pain. I bet that Nathan asshole did trip him! I know I shouldn't think things about my students, but that one is a nasty piece of work!
Kai's wobbling a little, I'd better hold him a little tighter...oh my...Tyson wasn't kidding, I just felt a bit of his abs, they feel nice... Wait-what?! What an awful thing to think! Wait am I blushing?!
Man, I guess it's been a while since I've touched another man...that must be it...I mean Kai is tall and mature for his age, he acts more like someone my age...but no more thoughts like that!
Normal POV.
"OK Kai, here we are...lets get you sat down..." Rei said as he lowered the younger boy in to a seat. "Hold on I'll get the the nurse."
Kai nodded and watched him go.
Kai's POV.
Jesus...my ankle hurts like hell! Can't believe that jerk tripped me! ...Actually I can believe it, but that's not the point!
Oh well, at least I got to lean on Rei...that was...that was nice...I could have sworn I felt his hand brush against my stomach...I mean I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose...but...oh I don't know, it just felt good...
Oh wait, he's back!
Normal POV.
Rei came back holding an ice pack. "Sorry, Kai, the nurse is with someone at the moment, but she told me to elevate your leg and put this on it."
Rei pulled up a chair opposite the boy and gently lifted his injured ankle and rested it in his lap, holding the ice pack on it for him.
Kai let out a small sigh, the cold felt nice against his sore ankle.
"That a bit better?" Rei asked, Kai nodded. "Yes...thank you for helping me..."
"No problem." Rei smiled, "Well, I have to say, I had no idea you were so good at basketball! You're really fast!" he complimented.
"Thank you, I used to run every day."
"Why did you stop?" Rei asked.
"Well...I come to this school, I don't understand anything...so all free time is spent trying to work out what homework means."
"Oh, I see...coming to this school has been really tough on you, hasn't it?"
"Yes, but, now I have nice friends...my English get better slowly...maybe one day it won't be so hard..."
Rei smiled, "I like you attitude, you work hard, Kai. Say, what are your plans for when you leave school? Do you think you'll stay in America or go back to Russia?"
"That depends..." Kai said, thinking.
"On what?" Rei asked as he put more pressure on the ice pack"
"If there is reason to stay here..."
Rei looked up from the icepack and at his student, "What would make you stay?" he asked.
"...love, maybe..." Kai answered honestly.
Rei smiled and looked back down at the icepack, "That's a good reason to stay..."
"I think so as well, but...I don't have long to find..."
"What do you mean?" Rei looked up again at him.
"I become 17 next week...this means I have one year to find someone and try and tell family before it too late."
"So...you're saying if you find somebody before the whole marriage set up you'll tell them but if not you'll go along with their plans?"
"Yes."
"Kai that's stupid." Rei said bluntly.
"Huh?" Kai asked, surprised.
"How can you put a time limit on when you can fall in love by? You're not even 17 yet and you're only giving yourself a year to find happiness? What if you meet someone when you're 19? or 20?You'll be married to someone you don't love and you'll be trapped, regretting never having the courage to be honest when you had the chance."
"But what can I do?"
"Kai...do you really think having a boyfriend will make it easier to tell them? If you find the love of your life in a year or not it will still be just as difficult as now."
"So...what you saying?"
"I'm saying either tell them or be unhappy for the rest of your life...that's up to you."
Before he could speak, the nurse came out. She was a short, kind of chubby and friendly looking woman.
"I'm so sorry to keep you both waiting! Lets take a look at you, shall we, Kai?"
Rei helped him in to the medical room. He helped him lay down on the bed.
"OK Kai, I'm going to move your foot and you tell me when it hurts!"
"Wonderful..." Kai thought.
The nurse moved Kai's foot side to side, up and down and around, all of which, hurt a lot. Kai yelped in pain.
"Stop, stop, stop!" he pleaded. The nurse cooed, "Ohhhhhh I'm sorry pigeon, I didn't mean to hurt you.", Kai looked over at Rei and looked confused. "Pigeon?" he mouthed at his teacher, who tried not to laugh.
"It looks like a sprain to me, you'll be back to normal soon enough, just keep off it for a day or two and no sports for a few weeks. I will write you a note for your P.E. Teacher."
"Thank you..." Kai said as he sat up to get off the bed.
"Thanks nurse, Kai how about I take you home. You should rest your ankle."
Rei drove Kai home and helped him to the front door. To Kai's dislike, Katya was home, which meant she flapped and fussed like he'd come home with no legs at all.
"Kai, I'll help you up the stairs and in to your room, ok?" Rei said gently.
"Oh Mr. Kon, thank you! You've been so kind to him! I'll make us all some tea." Katya said gratefully.
"Heh, thanks, that'd be great!" Rei said as he began helping the injured boy up the stairs.
Ten minutes later, Rei had managed to get Kai up the stairs and in to bed, Katya followed shortly with a tray of tea.
"Please, Mr. Kon, have a seat!" she said politely as she pulled over Kai's desk chair and put it next to the bed, she sat on the end of Kai's bed and handed them both a cup of tea.
"Thanks, and please call me Rei!" he said as he took the cup.
"Heh, sorry, Rei! Oh Kai! I almost forgot! This came for you todayyy..." She said in a weird, giddy tone as she handed him an envelope. Kai didn't like it. The envelope was from Russia. He looked at it and twirled it in his hands.
"Well...are you going to open it or just look at it?!" His aunt asked impatiently
Kai tore the envelope and pulled out a letter, he unfolded it and a photograph fell out of it and slipped on to the floor by Rei's feet.
"I'll get it! Here you...go..." Rei stuttered as he picked up the picture and looked at it. It was a picture of a pretty, 17 year old girl. He looked at Kai, who was reading the letter. By the look on his face and with the picture, Rei knew exactly what it was.
"So, is it your first proposition?! What do you think?! She looks pretty, huh?! Oh, Rei, I'm sorry, I guess I should explain! When Kai turns 18 he's going to choose a-"
"He has to get married...I know..." Rei said cooly.
"Oh! You knew about it? Well isn't this great! A handsome boy like Kai is going to get a lot of offers!"
"Yeh...isn't that great..." he forced himself to sound convincing. He felt so, so sorry for the poor boy. He looked crushed.
Downstairs the phone rang, Katya excused herself and left the room. As soon as she was gone, Kai flopped backwards on to his pillow, covering his eyes with his hands.
"Kai..." Rei said softly, "You have to tell them before this gets out of hand..."
"How can I? You see how happy she is..." Kai said sadly, "It is too late..."
Just then his bedroom door opened, Tala walked in. "Hey kid, I heard you hurt your ankle! Oh, hey Rei!"
"Hi Tala.." Rei said.
"Hey Kai, I know you hurt you ankle but no need to look that glum!" he said teasingly.
Kai sighed and handed him the letter. Tala took it and read it. "Oh...shit...already?! Kai you have to tell them before you get any more!"
"That's what I said, too..." Rei said.
"You know about all this?" Tala asked. Rei nodded.
"Yeh. He told me, as it happens I had near enough the same problem a few years ago."
"You told your folks?"
"Yeah. They weren't happy to start with, but I think they're over it."
The conversation was cut short by the sound of a gentle sob.
"Kai, come on...I know it's hard but this needs to stop before it goes to far and you'll have no way out. I can't step back and watch my cousin go through this."
Kai wiped his eyes. "What a mess!" he cried in Russian.
Tala looked at him sympathetically, "I know...look why don't we sit them both down and tell them tonight, I'll be by you side all the way."
Kai thought about it a minute and nodded. "OK...if you promise you will with me."
"Sure thing, kid!"
Rei smiled, "you're doing the right thing, Kai! I'm sure they'll handle it better than you think. But Tala has my number, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me, ok?"
"Thank you very much..."
"I'd better get back to school...I've been away far too long. But remember Kai, if you need anything, you know where I am."
"Thank you." he said again.
Rei left, he went back to school but couldn't help but think about Kai and worry for him. What if they weren't so understanding? Maybe it was a mistake to advise him the way he did.
That night, Kai and Tala waited at the kitchen table for their uncle to arrive home. Kai's heart was beating so hard he could swear Tala could hear it.
"Remember, Kai. I'm here for you..." his older cousin comforted.
The front door opened, they heard Katya greet her husband, their voices getting louder as they approached the kitchen.
"Kai! Why are you down here! You're supposed to be resting your ankle!" Katya scolded.
Tala intervened. "Could you both have a seat? Kai needs to talk to you both."
The two adults looked at each other and sat down.
"Kai I hear you got your first proposition today! That's great! What did you think?" Sergei asked.
"...That's why we need to talk..." Kai said nervously.
"...Kai what's wrong?" Sergei asked worriedly.
"I..." he couldn't find the right words, "I..." he was starting to have second thoughts.
Tala put his arm on Kai's leg under the table, as a secret sign of support.
"...It's not great..." he started.
"What do you mean? No biggie if you don't like that one you got today, there will be plenty more!"
"I won't like them either." Kai said surely.
"How can you say that, I know it's a confusing time at your age bu-"
"I'm gay." Kai blurted out.
The two adults were stunned. "You...what?" Katya said in disbelief.
"I'm...so sorry...I don't want to let you down I jus-"
"No." Katya said bluntly.
"No?" Kai repeated.
Katya turned to Tala, "You put him up to this, didn't you?" she said angrily.
"Auntie don't be ridiculous, you can't convince someone that they're gay. They are or they aren't. You know that." Tala spat back.
"How long have you been keeping this from us, Kai?" Sergei asked monotonously.
"...well...a long time...and I swear I tried to tell you, remember when you were asking what was wrong and I couldn't tell you?"
Sergei remained silent. As did Katya.
"...auntie...uncle...please...say something!" Kai begged.
Katya got up and walked to the kitchen sink and looked out the window for a moment. After she had a bit of time to think she turned around to face them.
"After everything we've done for you...this is how you repay us?" She said viciously.
"Auntie?" Kai said
"DON'T "auntie" me!" she shouted "Your parents would be ashamed of you."
That comment cut Kai like a knife.
Tala got mad, "don't you dare guilt trip him! Especially with his parents! That is a low blow Katya and you know it!"
"I think, Kai..." Sergei finally spoke "that you should get out of our sight before this gets worse." he said cooly and bluntly.
"Yes, I can't look at you right now..." Katya said through tears.
Kai was heartbroken. He'd never felt so terrible in his life.
"...come on, Kai...lets get you out of here..." Tala said as he helped his cousin out of his chair and out the kitchen.
"Stay here." he said as he quickly went up stairs. A few minutes later he came down with a small bag. "Tala, what are you doing?" Kai asked sadly.
"I think it's best not to be here tonight, I have an idea." he led his cousin out to his car and helped him in. As he sat in the drivers seat, he pulled out his cell phone and dialled.
Rei's POV.
What a day! I'm so tired...but...I'm kind of worried about Kai...I wonder if he's told them yet...
Is that my phone? Where is the damn thing?! Why can I never find it when-oh here it is! Oh...It's Tala, I bet he's told them...
"Hello?" I answer.
"Rei? It's Tala...look I know this is a bit out of the blue but...well we told them and it didn't go down too well...they don't want him here tonight, I'm so sorry to ask but could he stay with you? I don't know who else to ask..."
Ohhhh shit...
"Of course he can, you remember where I live, right?"
"You're an angel, Rei, thank you! And yes I remember, will be there in about 10 minutes."
….poor Kai...I hope they weren't too mad...what a stupid thing to say, they've kicked him out. Of course they're mad! How could they do that to him?
Normal POV.
"Lee...can I talk to you?" Rei said as he found his friend on his usual spot on the couch.
"Sure, what's up?"
"Well...bit short notice, but Kai is staying here tonight."
"He WHAT!? Rei, are you sure that's appropriate?"
"...not really I guess, but he came out to his folks tonight and they've kicked him out. He has nowhere else to go and maybe he needs someone who's been through it to help him."
"Ah...I see...poor kid" Lee sympathised. "Still, on the bright side it'll be nice to meet him and put a face to the name."
Rei smiled, "Thanks, Lee."
Sure enough, ten minutes later there was a knock on the door. Rei ran to answer it.
"Kai! Are you all right? Please, both of you come in!" Kai kept his eyes on the floor, now he'd dragged his teacher in to this mess.
Rei led Tala and Kai to the living room and set them both down on the couch before sitting on a pillow on the floor.
Lee came in with a coffee, "Hey, Tala. How's it going? And you must be Kai..."
Kai shyly looked up from the floor, "...yes...hello..." he said quietly.
"Sorry, Kai, this Lee, my friend and housemate."
"Nice to meet you..." he said quietly. Lee knew now wasn't a good time to make small talk.
"So...is one of you going to tell me about it?" Rei asked.
"Usual situation, really. He told them, aunt flipped out and told him they'd shamed them and his parents would be ashamed of him too and gave him the whole "after everything we've done for you!" spiel. Uncle thought it was best if he left so...that's it in a nutshell and here we are."
"Jeez..." Lee interjected without thinking.
"Kai...you musn't listen to them...about your parents...she was just upset." Rei said.
"...they would be, though..." Kai said choking back tears.
Rei got off his pillow and went and sat next to the distraught boy and put his arm around his shoulder.
"Come on now, they wouldn't...sure your folks are upset right now but I bet it's just out of shock. They'll come around."
Kai didn't say anything, but Rei kept his hold on him. He turned to Tala, "Are you staying here tonight, too?" he asked the redhead.
"No...I'm going home to try and calm things down and talk some sense in to them."
Rei nodded.
"I'd better do that sooner rather than later...Kai, you OK if I leave you in Rei's capable hands?"
Kai nodded, "Thank you, cousin...I appreciate it"
"No problem, kid, don't worry things will get better." he kissed his younger cousin on the head and left. "Thanks again Rei." He said as he left.
Rei looked at Kai, who was still staring at the floor, and over to Lee, who looked uncomfortable and clueless.
"Come on, Kai, lets go up to my room and talk..." he said as he gently helped the boy up, careful of his ankle, and out the room.
They got to Rei's room, it was small, tidy and covered with books, folders, papers, typical for a
teacher, Kai thought. Rei sat him down on the bed and sat next to him.
"Mr. Kon..." Kai started, "I'm very sorry I ruin your evening and come to your house."
"Don't be silly, Kai, I'm happy to help you out. It's a difficult time and I remember how it was for me. Even though everything looks grey now, trust me, you've done the right thing. And it took a lot of courage, be proud of yourself."
"But what if..." Kai started.
"What if what?" Rei encouraged.
"What if...I'm not really...that way. I've never had girlfriend or boyfriend. What if I think I am but really, I'm not...all this is for nothing."
"Kai...whether you've had a boyfriend or not, you know if you're gay. It doesn't take kissing a guy to work it out."
Kai burned red, he couldn't believe what a personal conversation he was having with his teacher.
"Kai...in my experience, sometimes even when people think what you're doing or feeling is wrong, you just have to not care. If it's not breaking the law or hurting people and makes you happy then to hell with what people say! You have one life, Kai, one! Don't spend it trying to make everyone but yourself happy."
"So...you think even if you feel for someone people say is wrong...you shouldn't care?"
"Exactly!"
"Maybe...maybe it isn't wrong for me to feel something for you, then..." Kai told himself.
"Rei?"
"Yeh?"
"Have you ever felt for someone that people say was bad?"
"...well...I did have a boyfriend a few years ago, he was about eight years older than me. No one really approved and it turned out they were right, I guess with the age difference it wasn't such a good idea."
Kai's heart sank. "Oh...I see..." he said sadly.
"Hm? What's wrong?" Rei asked, hearing Kai's tone.
Kai realised how disappointed he'd sounded. Out loud. What could he say to cover himself?
"nothing..." was all he could come up with.
"You sure?" Rei pressed.
"It's just...it's just...uh."
"You can tell me anything."
"...I love an older person, too."
Rei suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.
"You love someone? How old are we talking?"
"umm...he's like twenty five years old?"
Rei sighed with relief to himself "for some reason, I thought he was talking about me...I guess it's what Lee said to me the other day."
"but it doesn't matter...nothing can happen with him and me..."
"because he's older?" Rei asked, "That's not necessarily a big deal."
"No...I can't really say why, we just can't."
"Oh...well...I'm really sorry about that. Don't worry though, you're great! You'll find someone."
"You think so, huh?"
"Of course! Any guy would be lucky to have you! Hell if I had a guy like you I'd be happy!"
"...a guy like me..."
"hm?"
"you say you will be happy if you find someone like me."
"...yeah, I would" Rei said, a bit confused about what he was getting at.
"Then..."
"Then what?" Rei asked.
"...then...what about me?"
"Ahhhhh shit..." Rei thought as he felt his heart stop dead in his chest, "What have I gotten myself in to!"
Kai was stunned himself, "WHY DID I SAY THAT FOR?!" he screamed at himself.
"Rei...I'm sorry...I don't know why I say such thing...please, please forget I say!" he said as he turned away from his teacher, humiliated beyond belief.
Rei looked a little scared, staring at the younger one,"Kai...please be honest with me..." he asked nervously, "...the older man that you love and can't be with...is it me?"
"Please...Rei...just forget I say this thing. I don't know what I am thinking right now. Everything in my head is confused."
"That doesn't answer my question." Rei said calmly and gently. "You have to tell me, Kai. Is it me?"
"No." Kai lied, almost convincingly.
"...Kai?" Rei said gently but also sternly. He moved so that he was kneeling in front of him, he was unable to avoid eye contact that way. "Are you telling me the truth?"
Kai's eyes met Rei's, he could see Rei had pretty much figured him out but was just nervously waiting for Kai to admit it. But, of course, he couldn't just admit it.
"Kai is that why you work so hard in my classes? And why you were so determined to stay in my class? And...and why Tala didn't stay here that night?!" Rei was starting to put pieces together.
He felt sick. "Have I...been giving you the wrong impression? Is this my fault? I just wanted to help you, I didn't think it would lead to this!"
"Rei..."
"Yes?"
"I want to leave."
"No."
"What?"
"I said no. You're not going anywhere until we've talked this over."
"I don't want to talk! There is nothing to talk about!"
"Well sorry, I think there is. You still haven't answered my question, and the way you're acting, I think that's answered it for you. I'm not mad at you Kai, but we need to talk this out."
Kai stayed silent, he was so ashamed. How could he have been so stupid and blurted that out? How could he put Rei in this position? Worse still, what would happen as a consequence. His eyes prickled again out of pure embarrassment and shame.
"Why are you crying?" Rei asked.
"Because I ruined everything." he sobbed, "I lose my family and now this...all because I didn't keep my mouth shut."
Rei suddenly felt a stab of guilt, maybe now wasn't the time to press him about his little crush, after all he had just had that big ordeal with his family. Maybe he was just saying things because his head was all over the place? Still...Rei was worried. This was serious and really...he didn't know what to do about it.
He put his arm around the crying boy sat next to him and rubbed his back.
"You haven't ruined anything, Kai..." he said, finally.
Kai wiped his eyes and looked up at him.
"You're family will learn to deal with who you are. They love you. I saw how much they loved you when I first met them at parents evening. But...about the other thing...Kai I really need you to tell me...is it me you have a crush on?"
Kai didn't know why he felt angry, but he did. He pulled away from Rei's arm which was around his shoulder.
"A 'crush'? A crush!? What am I?! 12 year old girl?!"
"Kai, why are you upset at that?"
"because you make me feel like I'm a child!"
"That's because you ARE a child!" Rei argued back.
"I may only soon be 17, and is young, but does not make me a child! You're only 4 years older than me!"
"Four years isn't the issue, Kai. The issue is I'm your teacher! And you're a student! The fact that this situation has even come up could get me in to serious trouble! Do you understand?"
"Me get you in trouble?! Everything bad that has happened to me recently is because of you!" Kai yelled angrily.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Rei yelled back.
"All you say is 'tell them, tell them everything OK' and I listen to you! Now look! IS NOT OK! The only reason I feel sure I am...that way...is because I meet you!"
Rei couldn't believe Kai was blaming him.
"Hold on, you're accusing me of making you gay?!"
"No, I'm saying if you never came I would never have felt sure and I could forget about it and make it go away and I'd still have my family!"
"Fine, Kai, you blame this on me all you want..." Rei said sternly as he stood up and moved towards the younger boy, Kai knew he'd pissed him off so stepped back as Rei stepped forward.
"blame me! I don't care, but basically this is what it comes down to. You knew deep down you were gay, met an older guy who gave you some support and attention and you fixated on it, turning something innocent in to some kind of romance fantasy. Now that you're getting let down you're throwing everything back in my face and that's a shitty move, Kai!" Rei had pretty much backed Kai up against the wall and was standing inches away from him.
"Your first little gay crush may be me, but even if it wasn't eventually someone would have come along and this would be happening later on and be a lot messier. So cut the bullshit about it being all my fault!"
"I'm...I'm sorry..." Kai answered, ashamed of yelling at Rei the way he did. Rei was right.
Rei sighed and pulled him in to a hug.
"I'm sorry you feel the way you do, Kai, I know you can't help who you get feelings for. I'm very flattered, but you and I are never going to happen. This needs to stop now."
Kai knew all along nothing could ever happen, but hearing Rei say it out loud broke his heart.
Rei let go of him, "I'll leave you alone for a while. You sleep in my bed tonight, I'll go on the floor." before Kai had chance to protest Rei had left the room.
Kai was glad, he'd managed to keep it together while Rei said what he did. But he still just went through his first, painful heartbreak and was devastated.
Rei walked in to the livingroom, feeling exhausted and frustrated he flopped down on the couch next to Lee and rubbed his eyes.
"Rei what's up? I heard yelling, I almost came up to see what was going on!"
"...You know what you warned me about the other day?"
"Yeh?"
"You were soooooo right..."
"Ah shit...really?"
"Yep."
"You just had to break the poor kids heart, huh?"
"Yep."
"Gently, I hope."
"...as gentle as I could. Still feel horrible, though." Rei admitted.
