I pulled my legs up in the chair as he made his way over. His eyes were red. I guess he had been crying, I'd be crying to if I nearly killed one of my brothers. "You alright?"

I nodded not really knowing what to say to him. I went back to the cake wishing that someone was here. Sunny could hardly stand the sight of me so knowing him he'd either be going to the basement or his room.

He didn't, instead he sat down next to me. "Look, Pony, I know I scared you yesterday. I'm sorry very, deeply, incredibly sorry about that. I can't even use words to express it. I love you guys. You know that right?"

I nodded. Sunny grinned. "I'm changing, kiddo. I just need to work on things. I need you guys to be patient until I can get my act together."

He had done so much for us, I guess it was the least I could do for him. I had heard the horror stories of people when they came back from war; I wondered if my brother had one he wasn't sharing. "It's okay, Sunny." I said. "We all make mistakes."

"Thanks" He rubbed his hands over his eyes. "Give me a bite will you?"

I held my fork out to him. "I thought you didn't eat shit food."

He smiled. "What's one time, huh?"

He started talking but everything felt like it was underwater, the only thing I could take notice was Darry, his arms full of groceries and the stricken that he wore on his face. The last time I saw that look on his face was when he disobeyed Mom and Dad tossed football in the house and, broke a couple of the dishes that were given to Mom and Dad on their wedding day.

Sunny whirled around. "Here," He took a couple bags from Darry's arms. "You got more?"

"Truck," Darry responded. Sunny brushed passed him to go get more groceries. "You okay?" He asked me.

"Never been better," I answered.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, and went out to the truck. I had no clue what was said, but when they came back in Darry went right to starting dinner. Sunny clapped a hand on his back. He looked back at him and grinned.




"Hey, kiddo what's going on?" Sunny was perched behind his work with a cigarette in his mouth. "I thought you were going to the DX."

It had been a few days since the Darry incident. We all had sort of gotten over it, I guess with everything that had happened we were a resilient family. Everything was as normal as it got at the Curtis House.

"Can we get ice creme?" I asked hopping around the heap of papers. "My treat."

Sunny smirked. "With what money?"

"I got money from cutting the Johnson's grass." I answered.

"Really?" Sunny asked, "I'll remember that when the electric bill comes. Maybe I'll charge you rent too."

He used the pink, erase on the tip of his pencil to poke at my ribs. I fell into the couch next to him. "Knock it off." I hissed between jabs. "What were you and Grace fighting about last night?"

He put his cigarette in his ash tray. "First you want ice crème, now you get the urge to talk about something that you are way too young to understand."

"I'm not that young." I pushed. "Besides she was hollering so loud you had to expect me to ask questions."

Sunny smirked and grinned out his cigarette in the ash tray. She's mad because I refuse to go to church with her, or be married in a church."

"I thought you didn't mind going to church?"

"That was when I believed in God."

"You don't believe in God?" My mouth dropped open. Sunny had to believe in God. Since Grace happened to him he started praying and going to church with her family every Sunday. Even Darry and Soda believed in God, and they didn't go to church.

He smiled at me. "Pony, I saw a lot of stuff. You wouldn't understand.

"Look, I'm going to jog about a mile. When I come back, we can pick Soda up from school and then get ice crème. " He patted my head and left.


I slipped underneath the bridge, smiling at the fact it was significantly cooler than walking in the hot sun. I perched my self on a rock and looked down at my cigarette case. I only needed one joint, and I'd be good for the rest of the day. I took one of the joints out 

that John, a buddy from my work, gave me. It was the only thing that kept me on a sane level. It made the nightmares stop, it made me calmer less angry. I could tolerate my family. I only had my brothers left, I wasn't about to lose them, or Grace. That distinct smell filled the air. I felt my body relax.

I took a jog around the park; the marijuana had yet to hit me. It wasn't until the jog home I felt it hit me. I sat back on the porch and laughed at the shapes in the cloud. It had been a while since pot made me geek out.

"Sunny, were going to be late. What's so funny?" Pony stepped out on the porch.

I grinned up at him lazily. "Nothing kid.

Pony cocked his eyebrow in the same manner that Two-Bit does. "Can we go now?"

"Get in the car." I pulled myself off the porch steps. "let's go."

"Sunny," Soda started once we had finally picked him up, and made it to the ice crème place. "What's with the sweet stuff? You never used to eat it."

"I guess I just missed it." I answered. I tapped my cigarette pack in my pocket. I'd have to get another one in before Darry came home.