"Cameron can you please open that door ? " Remy whispered.
Allison tried to dissimulate her teary voice with a happy tone. "am comiiing!"
"Listen, don't act like a child with me. You've been in the bathroom for more than half an hour. I gave you your time, now I need you to open this fucking door. I am sorry ok? I didn't mean to disappoint you. I don't know why I told you so many things so let's just please forget it and…"
Thirteen's monologue was suddenly interrupted. Allison finally opened the bathroom door. Until two minutes ago, she didn't want Remy to see her sorrow. But at that point, she didn't try to hide her tears anymore. She just opened the door and showed herself like she was: puffy eyes, hurt, sad. " So you think I am mad at you?"
Remy didn't look at her. "I just said I was sorry. For the spliff. Well not, for that I'm not. I do what I want during my free time, right? But I mean I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…
"Remy can you just stop!"
"Of course let's just not talk about it so please get out of…"
"Can't you just fucking listen?"
To say Remy was surprise to hear Allison speaking that way was obvious, even Allison found herself astonished. At least, she caught Thirteen's attention. She sat against the wall and took Remy's hand, inviting her to do the same.
"Sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I just want you to listen carefully. I… I'm not mad sweetheart.. Not angry at all.. am… I didn't see your last messages because of an emergency. I had to leave my phone and.. When I looked at it again I.. Just wanted one thing. Come here and hug you.. and take care of you and…"
Cameron couldn't stop the tears that were falling. Remy was as cold as she managed to seem. "I'm sorry I shouldn't be the one crying here… I didn't want you to see me weak now that's why I was locked here. I am not mad at you. You get that?"
Thirteen weakly nodded while Cameron was nervously playing with Remy's fingers. They stayed quiet for a while. They both needed time. Cameron wanted to help Remy the best she could but didn't know what she was supposed to do now. Thirteen was looking for a way to cancel everything she said. She hated herself for opening up so easily and just telling what happened to her.
After a few minutes, Cameron decided they had to move from the bathroom floor. She led Remy on the couch but she refused to follow her and went in her bed, instead.
"Talk to me, Rem"
"I think you should leave". She was staring the floor, carelessly.
"I won't". Allison was too worried to leave, neither wanted to. She had to stay , she needed it. Remy sighed. She seemed bothered by Cameron's presence and was trying her best to make Allison feel uncomfortable, hoping she would give up soon and leave her alone.
"I won't leave Rem. I don't care how obnoxious you're being. You won't throw me out, will you?" She raised an elbow and gave her a daring look.
"Actually, this is my apartment so…." Even if she really wanted to be alone right now she didn't want to hurt Allison and suddenly realised that she was pushing the limits. "But don't worry, you can stay if you want to" Allison felt satisfied but it only lasted a few seconds. Remy went in her bedroom and came back dressed up to leave. "You can stay. I'll go. Make yourself at home" Without adding anything she quickly walked towards the door and Allison had to grab her arm firmly to prevent her from leaving. "Just let me go" Remy was trashing around. "Please stop touching me". She pushed Allison strongly and regretted it as soon as she did it. She stood in front of the door, the mouth half-opened and staring Allison, who came closer and hugged her. "Shhh… don't worry, it's fine. No sweet's, don't cry. Please it's ok, come here"
On the couch, Remy was quiet. She agreed having a cup of tea and her eyes were almost drowning on the beverage. Allison let her some time alone. She knew Remy would talk when she'd be ready to.
"am sorry"
"You really have to stop saying you're"
Remy looked Allison right in the eyes. She wasn't angry, neither sad, she was composed and ready to gave an explanation. "I am sorry I told you what happened"
Allison couldn't believe what she just heard.
"I'm sorry because.. I don't want to talk about it. Maybe… I don't know maybe later.. maybe never… But now… all I want… is forgetting."
"Remy baby, you know better than me it's not the way it works." For the first time, Remy didn't protest hearing she was called a baby. She still didn't like it but it wasn't the point, for now.
"Yeah, I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying that's the way I want to deal with that. I don't care what is the right thing to do. I just wanna do how I feel like to. That's why I shouldn't have told you all this. So if you could.. don't know… just forget it… I swear I'll be fine and"
"HOW?" Allison was angry now. Not only because she was disappointed to be repulsed once again, but she was hurt. She got up and began pacing up and down nervously. "Can YOU tell me how?" She insisted on the "you" pointing Remy. "Tell me, please, how I can forget that somebody I care for, somebody I like, somebody I feel linked to.. is walking through hell.. I am.. You have no idea how enraged I AM right now!" Remy was silently crying and Allison just noticed it, she kneeled in front of her and softly dried the tears with her thumbs. "Not with you", she whispered. "Am not angry with you" "I just wish he could pay for what he did. I…"
"You care more than I do. I didn't mean to put you in this situation, am sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for… and I will repeat it how many times as you need to understand it. You've done nothing wrong. You're just.. trying to deal the best you can. I guess I have no right to judge you. But you can't ask me to forget it. It is impossible. I do care for you Remy. Don't push me away."
"I just don't wanna talk about it"
"Fine. We won't. I won't ask a thing about that. When you'll feel the need to talk, I'll be here. When you just want some company because you're afraid to be alone, I'll be here."
"I'm not afraid.. I…" Cameron shook her head. "Ok, I guess sometimes I'm scared but.."
"It's okay to be afraid…" Remy took a deep breath. Being the weak one wasn't at all something she liked.
I just have one question….. may I?" Remy nodded, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible.
"Do you know him?"
"not exactly"… "Listen it's… forget it…" She was uncomfortable again.
"Fine. …. Will he… do it again?"
"No. Don't think so. It was a revenge. It's over now"
"Ok baby… now you'll just go back to bed, because tomorrow… well… in 3 hours we have to get ready for work. Come…"
Allison POV
She doesn't think so. She doesn't think. She's afraid. She's broken. She will never admit it. Even to herself. But I'll not let her down. I won't leave her alone. How could he hurt her? How could somebody hurt Remy? Why? I know it will be hard for me not to break up every time I feel her pain. I can't help it. I feel her sorrow and it hurts me, but we will go through this together. I will never allow him, whoever he is, to hurt her again. Never.
"It's ok Rem… just close your eyes"
