A/N: Just wanted to thank those who are reading and reviewing and that I hope those who are reading and not reviewing are enjoying it :)


Faith wandered around town until it was time to head to the motel for the meeting before patrol. She took the Hellhound home first, not surprised in the least when she found Dex and Xander in her kitchen drinking her beer. She said nothing to them as she grabbed her stake, her keys and headed for the motel. She walked there, basking in the warmth and the calmness of the night. Everything had turned around and she was no longer feeling so guilty, no longer feeling the pain that had plagued her. She knew what she wanted, what she needed, and she was damned if she was going to let anything stand in her way.

She needed to tell Buffy exactly how she felt and then take what she wanted, no questions asked. She walked up to Buffy's room and knocked on the door, ready to take her in her arms and kiss her the second she opened it. But her nerves took over her as soon as she saw Buffy and she managed a small smile as she peered into the room over her shoulder. Willow and Giles were sitting at the small table, both too into the books laid flat out in front of them to acknowledge her presence. She shook off the nerves she felt and reached for Buffy's hand and pulled her outside. As soon as the door had clicked shut, she grabbed her and kissed her with everything she had.

It wasn't sweet and gentle; it was raw with pure passion of want and need. She kept it short and pulled away, gasping for air as she stared into Buffy's eyes. Eyes that stared at her with such passion, desire and love she wasn't sure how she was still standing there without taking her right there.

"Wow, Faith...I..."

"I'm sorry, B. I couldn't stop myself. You know these lips and this tongue of mine has a mind of its own these days," she chuckled as she ran her fingers over Buffy's arms before she slid her hands into hers. "I wanted to do that since this afternoon. Hell, I want to do a lot more, but..."

"We've got a meeting to have and patrol to go out on," Buffy finished and she sighed, pouting slightly as she pulled Faith closer to her. "I've wanted to do that since this afternoon too. What came over you?"

"I've spent a lot of time thinking today."

"You sure seem to think a lot lately. Never did peg you as much of a thinker before."

"Shut up, B. I was thinking about Jennifer, about you, about moving on and despite how soon it is, how soon it feels it is I can't ignore the way I feel about you and I can't make you wait any longer. I don't want to wait, B. I want to be with you now. That means you'll have to deal with me being all...overly emotional at times."

"I'm sure I can deal."

"I hope you know what you're getting into with me. I just..." Faith sighed as she couldn't believe what she was about to say. "I want to take it slow, B."

"I'm good with taking things slow. I think that's exactly what we need."

"And I don't want to keep what we have from everyone either," she said softly as she leaned in to kiss her. "I don't want to feel like we need to hide this."

"Believe me, Faith. I don't want to hide this either," Buffy smiled sweetly at her. "If you are worried what everyone is going to think..."

"I'm not. I could care less what everyone else fucking thinks."

Buffy smiled at her as she pulled Faith in for another kiss. Faith wasn't sure why, but she felt like from here on out everything was going to be exactly the way it was meant to be between them. And she finally felt happy again, just a little. She even managed to push aside the lingering guilt she was feeling as she kissed Buffy deeply. She didn't even care that the door behind them flung open, nor did she care when she heard both Giles and Willow gasp out in shock at the scene before them. All she cared about was becoming completely lost in Buffy and the kiss and all she cared about was working at finally learning to move on even if it did mean she was being rather selfish.

She pulled away reluctantly and smiled at her as she stepped back and turned to face a shell-shocked Giles and a smug looking Willow standing there staring at them. She chuckled under her breath as she took Buffy's hand in hers and walked into the room.

"We gonna get this meeting going or are you two gonna stand there and gawk all day?" Faith called out to Giles and Willow, laughing as she turned to a red-faced Buffy. "What? They were gawking."

"We weren't," Willow said sheepishly as she and Giles walked back into the room and took their places at the table. "It was just...shocking."

"Didn't know some girl on girl action is shocking for you, Red."

"Oh shut up," she laughed as she shook her head. "Giles, do you want to start off the meeting?"

"Ah, right," he said as he watched Buffy and Faith as they sat on the closest bed and faced them. "There has been new information about this Severin. He has some close ties to an old foe of yours, Faith."

"Who?"

"Kakistos."

The name alone made Faith tense and she let go of Buffy's hand she'd still been holding onto and stood up. She began pacing around the room, shaking her head and laughing at the fear he still caused to bubble up inside of her. "So it isn't just some random big bad then?"

"Unfortunately, no," Giles sighed. "We also have other information that we weren't so sure how to tell you."

"Tell me. Hit me with it, G."

"Your Hellhound," he began as he looked up at her. "It belonged to Severin. We have reason to believe that is why it didn't protect Jennifer that night."

"Jesus," Faith sighed under her breath as her vision blurred and the room began to spin around her. The reality of what Giles had just told her hit her nice and hard and she wished she had never heard it. "I need to...I have to go."

"Faith," Buffy said as she stopped her from leaving and forced her to sit back on the bed. "You can't just run away from this."

"I'm not. I'm going to go deal with this."

"Not tonight," Buffy said firmly. "Not until we figure out how we are going to deal with Severin and the vampires who seem to be at his beck and call."

Faith sat there on the bed next to Buffy, her whole body just itching to go out there and find Severin and finish him off before he could get to her. But, as Giles began to explain to her that Severin wasn't even in town, not even in the country, she began to relax just a little. She was angry they'd kept the information about the Hellhound from her and she was upset knowing what had been her best friend and faithful companion for the last three years truly wasn't as faithful as she believed it to be.

The tears were there on the brink of falling and she excused herself from the meeting and went outside. She closed the door behind her and instantly lit a cigarette, shivering as she felt a burst of nicotine course through her veins and calm her senses down just a little. She felt like she was taking a hundred steps back, destroying how far she'd come after Jennifer's death. When she stopped to think about it she knew she really hadn't move on as much as she thought she had. She was still feeling guilty, feeling lost, and feeling empty. She swore under her breath as she began pacing in front of the door, wondering when the hell her mind would make up its damn mind whether it was ready to move on or not.

"Faith, can we talk?" Giles asked as he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

"About what, G?"

"About what exactly has been going on with you lately not to mention the little er, incident Willow and I stumbled upon earlier."

He looked flustered, slightly embarrassed just to bring it up and Faith couldn't help but laugh a little as she turned to look at him. "What do you want to know?"

"How have you really been holding up since Jennifer's passing?"

"Honestly? I've barely been able to make it through one fucking day without breaking down and crying. But, I don't know, G. Things are starting to look up little by little. Starting to feel like it's time for me to move on."

"And your way of moving on is with Buffy?" Giles questioned. "I don't believe that is a healthy or a very wise decision, Faith. It is still rather too soon just to pick up and move on. I know what Jennifer meant to you."

"She was my life," Faith whispered softly as she felt the tears trickle down her cheeks. "I just...I can't keep holding onto it anymore. It's tearing me apart inside and I can't deal with it alone."

"You don't have to. You have all of us and you know that we'll be here for you in any way that we can."

"I know that. Appreciate it more than I've let on."

They stood there in somewhat awkward silence as Faith turned her back to Giles and quickly wiped away her tears. In the past she'd always been able to talk to Giles, to open up and tell him everything that was on her mind. But, it felt different now and she wasn't sure how to talk to him about anything. She wasn't even sure how he felt about what he'd seen before with her and Buffy kissing so passionately, so deeply when he and Willow had opened the door. She knew he wanted to know what her intentions were with Buffy, but how could she explain what was going on between the two of them when it didn't make complete sense in her own head?

"It's too much," Faith whispered softly as she slowly turned around to look up at him again. "With Jennifer, with Buffy, with Severin and the Hellhound. It's like...my whole world is falling apart and I'm not strong enough to keep myself from falling apart with it."

"You need to give it time, Faith. You cannot expect to be strong all the time, Slayer or not. Every human has their weakest moments and right now you are dealing with the biggest struggle of your life. You are trying to deal with the loss of the woman you loved and that'd be enough to shake anyone's life upside down."

She smiled a little as he pulled her in for a hug. She knew he knew all about losing someone he loved dearly. "Sure don't know what I'd do without you guys."

"We're here for you as we've always been, Faith. Don't push us away this time. Let us in. Show us the wonderful, caring woman that you've changed into over the past three years."

She shook a little as she let the tears fall once more. She felt like she was falling apart once again for the hundredth time that day, but it felt different. She felt different. She knew Giles was only trying to reassure her that she did have people in her life that would be there for her no matter what, that cared for her and that loved her more than she ever knew. Buffy had said almost the same things to her earlier and from both of them, it seemed to make her feel that little bit stronger than she'd felt since Jennifer's death.

"Thank you, Giles."

He smiled at her as he backed up from her and laughed as he felt the wet spot on his shirt from Faith's tears. "And don't worry, Faith. I won't tell anyone what a cry-baby you are. Your secret soft side is safe with me."

She laughed with him as she lit another cigarette, feeling the guilt and the pain start to fade away once more. "I don't know what I'd do without any of you here right now. I don't even want to think of what I would have done to myself if Buffy hadn't been there to pull me back into reality countless of times in the last couple of weeks."

"She loves you."

"I know."

"I know you love her as well," he smiled as he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder until she would look up at him. "You both are fragile souls despite how strong you are in physical nature. These are waters you need to tread carefully or else you'll both end up broken and alone."

"Believe me I know, Giles. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

"You really have grown up and matured, haven't you?"

"Gotta thank Jennifer for that," Faith replied as she sighed out and wiped away what she hoped would be the last of her tears that night. "Who knew one woman would change everything I once was into what I am now?"

"I'm surprised you don't know this already," Giles chuckled as he shook his head. "Never underestimate the power a woman can have over you and the way her love can change you for the better."

This was a side of Giles that Faith had missed seeing, missed talking to. He was her friend in times like this, her only father-figure and he was also her Watcher. Aside from their not so recent falling out, he'd always been there for her after the fall of Sunnydale in good times, in bad and everything in between. She had hoped that now that he and the others were there permanently that things would go back to the way they once were before. Giles went back inside the motel room, leaving her out there to be alone with her thoughts.

She breathed in deeply as she tried to clear her head, hoping for once she'd get through one night without shedding anymore tears, without feeling the guilt and the pain she'd constantly felt come in waves over the last several weeks. Her whole body tensed and relaxed at the same time as soon as she felt Buffy come outside and stand next to her. She smiled a little as Buffy tentatively reached for her hand and held it gently. The feeling of warmth, of love, of acceptance filled her as she turned to look at her.

"Did you and Giles have a good talk?"

"Sure did, B."

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you about the...about Casey."

"It's okay," she smiled as she leaned back a little and took one last drag of her cigarette before flicking it out into the parking lot. "I kind of understand why you didn't tell me at first. It still hurts to know that my kick ass sidekick isn't as loyal to me as I thought she was."

"She's a demon dog, Faith. How loyal can she be especially now that her owner is back? Well not 'back', but you know what I mean."

Faith shrugged. "Dunno, thought I tamed her better than I had I guess. At least she hasn't turned against me or nothing."

"Yet."

"Don't think I want to take that chance."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe I should...kill her or something? I dunno, B. You don't think it's possible that Severin knows what's going on because of her, do you?"

"I don't know. Anything is possible, you know that. The information we've come across lately on Severin has been scarce and we've been lucky we found out anything at all. The only reason we found anything is because Willow suggested we look up on some old information about Kakistos."

She tensed at the name once again and she knew fear had flashed over her face. The worried look in Buffy's eyes did nothing to relax her. Just the memory of Kakistos made her feel like that scared little girl she'd been when she had first arrived in Sunnydale and into Buffy's life.

"What are we gonna do then? What's the plan here, B? We do have a plan, right?"

"No we don't. Not right now at least."

"Fuck," Faith groaned as she turned away from Buffy as her blood boiled with anger. "No matter what I do, life just keeps on fucking throwing all these hardballs."

"Hardballs?"

Faith chuckled softly as she ignored the dumbfounded look on Buffy's face. "But still, B. Life is never fucking easy whether you try to make it or not. Someone or something is always out there waiting to fuck it up. Always something or someone out there that can't stand to see people happy."

"We are Slayers. Nothing in life is ever going to be easy when it comes to the life we were chosen to live."

"Ever wonder if for once we can choose our own lives? Live it the way we want to?"

"I think about it every day."

Faith stared at her for a moment before letting out a deep breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding. "We are really gonna do this, aren't we?"

She had her doubts that for some reason, whatever they were walking into wasn't going to be easy. They were supposed to be working on being friends, finally, and here they were, skipping past the friendship to something more. No matter what she was feeling, the feeling of it being right beat out everything else. She wanted this. She wanted Buffy and she knew without a doubt that Buffy wanted her too. She'd told her with more than just her words. She'd told her that in the way she kissed her back, the way she would look at her with such longing in her eyes.

The last couple of weeks had been hard on her. She'd been feeling so many different things it was hard to feel what was happening right then and there. She'd said things to Buffy she knew she shouldn't have said. Words, hateful words, spewed out of her in her drunken haze, words she thought Buffy would take to heart and turn her back on her just like she had before. It was all different now and just trying to wrap her head around it all made her feel slightly dizzy.

"Are you okay, Faith?"

"Yeah, I will be if you stop asking me that."

"We should get the girls and head out on patrol."

Faith nodded but didn't let go of Buffy's hand. She just kept her there and pulled her in for a light kiss, smiling as Buffy stumbled back a little when she quickly pulled away. She felt a little lovesick as she stared down at her. Buffy always seemed to have that affect on her and nothing had ever changed that. Not any of her one-night stands and not even Jennifer. Great love was great love, but being in love with The One was on a whole other level. Faith was beginning to see that, to feel that and she didn't want to stop herself from feeling all the things she felt for Buffy. She knew for certain that if Buffy hadn't been as forward about her own feelings as she had been, they wouldn't even be where they were now and she wouldn't even feel like she was ready to move on.

"We should go," Buffy chuckled as she pulled her hand from Faith's. "Duty calls."

"Uh, one thing, B?" Faith said softly as she furrowed her brow a little. "Let me deal with Dani. I don't think she's gonna be too happy about us being together so soon."

"Okay."

"And I think we should kind of keep it on the down-low for a little while, you know, around the girls and everything."

"We'll work on just being together, take it slow. That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Buffy asked and Faith could only nod her head. "No big announcements, no public displays of affection until we know where this is going. Deal?"

Buffy held out her hand towards Faith, a small smile forming on her lips as Faith sighed and reached out for her hand. Instead of shaking on it, she pulled her in for a searing kiss, not thinking, just doing what felt right. Doing what she felt like they should have always done. They were both breathing heavily as they kiss slowly ended and Faith could do nothing more but smile at her.

"Deal," she said softly as she turned to walk back into the motel room. "G, we're grabbing the girls and heading out on patrol. We done here?"

Giles nodded as he put down the paper he'd been reading. "We're done here, Faith. Take the girls for a couple of hours then I'll need you and Buffy to stay out there a little longer tonight."

"Any reason?"

"Just to be safe."

"Better be safe than sorry, right?" Faith chuckled softly as she watched Buffy walk in the room and head straight to her weapons chest. "When did that come?"

"Giles brought it with him," Buffy replied with a shrug as she pulled out a couple of stakes. The girls walked in the room and stood by her as she handed them each a stake and some of the girls got a knife, others an axe and Dani got the crossbow. "Alright girls, you know the plan. Everyone stays in their positions, never regrouping unless it's more than three on one, you got it?"

The girls all nodded and followed her out of the motel. Faith fell behind, glancing over at Giles and Willow for a moment before she got her shit together and followed them to the cemetery.

As they got closer to the cemetery Faith looked up from the ground she'd done nothing but stare at the entire way and saw the Hellhound trotting towards her, tail wagging and its breathing ragged as if it had ran and came to a stop as soon as she was within sight. She wanted to kill it, yet at the same time she felt a twinge of compassion for it as she had since that first night she'd found it. She just couldn't look at it the same anymore. Knowing that it'd turn its back on her with Severin or his minions around made her heart sink, just a little, but it made her worry even more so about the safety of everyone around her.

She went her own way as soon as they were inside the cemetery, coming to a stop at the tombstone she always sat upon. She could only stare at the Hellhound as it paced around in front of her before letting out a low growl and lying on the ground at her feet. She could hear the girls talking before they too separated from the group, scattering over the cemetery, close but not too close to one another. Buffy did a quick sweep of the cemetery before she came and stood by Faith.

"Feels like it's gonna be a long night, huh?" Faith asked softly as she glanced around them for a moment before letting her eyes meet Buffy's intense gaze. "You see anything or feel anything yet?"

"Not yet," she said as she shook her head. "The night is still young."

"You never get tired of just waiting around, do you?"

"No," Buffy chuckled. "There's always different ways to pass the time."

"I could think of a few, you know if we were alone right now."

Buffy leaned in and gently bumped Faith's shoulder with her own. "I thought we were going to take things slow?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, B," Faith tried not to laugh as she slipped an arm loosely over her shoulders. "I meant we could talk. What were you thinking about?"

Buffy's face flushed as she stepped away from Faith. "Nothing. I was thinking about nothing."

It felt good to laugh like that and Faith couldn't keep the laughter inside of her much longer. It wasn't even that funny, but the look on Buffy's face was priceless. This was what she missed in all the years she'd gone without seeing her. This was what she missed about those days when they'd patrol together. It was carefree and despite where they were, it made her feel just like any other normal human being even if it was just for a couple of minutes at a time. She decided not to push it any further and she let her laughter die off as Buffy paced in front of her, flustered and muttering under her breath.

"It's not that funny, Faith."

"Sure it is," she chuckled as she reached inside her jeans pocket and pulled out her pack of cigarettes. "The look on your face, B."

"What about it?"

"You looked so mortified. Fucking adorable," Faith replied and she felt a slight blush creep across her cheeks as she called Buffy adorable.

"Adorable?" Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow. "Really? I would have never thought that word was ever in your vocabulary."

Faith chuckled softly as she lit a cigarette and smiled at her. "Thanks, B."

"For what?"

"For helping me take my mind off all the fucked up shit in my life."

Buffy shrugged as she slipped her stake out from the waistband of her jeans. "Anything I can do to help you keep that smile on your face is worth it. Plus, you called me adorable."

"First and last time."

"I'm sure it will be," Buffy smirked as she walked up to Faith and gently took the cigarette from her fingers and flicked it to the ground. "What's it going to take for me to get you to quit?"

"Find me a way to keep my mouth and fingers busy," Faith whispered as she found herself pulling Buffy in close to her. "And I'll quit."

Before she could snap out of the trance she'd fallen into, she found herself kissing Buffy, holding her as close as she could. She was addicted to this, addicted to the feel of Buffy pressed up close to her, kissing her with such passion, with such need it made her whole body feel weak and yet very alive. She remembered what it'd been like with Jennifer, especially in the beginning of their relationship and it had never been like this. She was wrong before when she thought that Buffy could never come close to being what Jennifer had been to her. She was wrong because she knew and she felt it that Buffy was so much more.

The thought of it still being too soon to move on still lingered there, but it was no longer as prominent as it had been before. Thinking about everything but kissing Buffy while she was still kissing her was not the way she wanted to go and she pulled away with a sigh and bent down and picked up the discarded cigarette.

She ignored the look of disbelief on Buffy's face at the sudden end of their kiss and she clicked her tongue at the Hellhound to follow her as she began to walk through the cemetery. She made her way to the far back corner, stopping briefly as she passed the spot where Jennifer had taken her last breath. Even the Hellhound had come to a stop, whimpering as it sniffed around the ground then looked up at Faith, guilt filling its eyes as it sauntered over to stand next to her.

"It's okay, girl. I told you I forgave you, didn't I?" Faith said gently as she began to walk away. "Wasn't your fault. I know that for sure now. Gonna kill that motherfucker the first chance I get."

Faith peered over her shoulder and saw that Buffy was following not too closely behind. She smiled her herself and continued onwards. The gradual and not so gradual steps they were taking were helping her move on from the pain and the guilt she had over Jennifer's death. She knew though that no matter how much time had passed, she'd never forget and she'd never fully let go. She could only hope that Buffy would accept that no matter what, a piece of her heart would always belong to Jennifer. It was just the bigger piece of her heart that had always belonged to Buffy and it always would.

She was changing all right. Changing into a different woman all together. She almost felt the way she did when she first met Buffy, before all the bad had happened. Just another girl in love with a girl she couldn't have only this time it was different. This time the girl wanted her.

This time she'd do it right and she wouldn't let her fears of pushing Buffy too far step in the way. No, not this time. Buffy was the one doing the pushing and Faith was letting her, seeing just how far she'd go before it was time for her to step in and take the lead. Where she'd lead them, she had no idea. But as she always thought, at least in the past three years, she'd just take each day as it came and worry about the next when it got there. Moving on never seemed so easy, and even though it wasn't, she felt like suddenly there was an invisible weight being lifted from her shoulders. She could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel with Buffy there waiting for her with open arms.