Ila awoke from her light sleep sometime in what felt to her like the early morning, though she was just guessing. She rose carefully and quietly, unsure if Dwala would be able to hear her moving about in her chambers or not. Surely she wouldn't, the walls were thick and Dwala slept like a log. Still, Ila felt the need to be covert and so she took care with her steps.
She was wearing the same dress as she had not changed and grabbed her veil from where she had thrown it off. If she did get caught she would need to have that on, lest she be in even more trouble. But she didn't plan on being seen.
Ila opened her door as quietly as she could, though that was hard since it was so large. Peering out, she saw no guards but then that was not unusual. There were none posted at the royal staircase but they made regular patrols through there.
Ila closed her door behind her as carefully as she could, then quietly descended the staircase. She made her way towards the great lobby with the gentlest and most quiet of footfalls, which was not hard as she was very light on her feet and a light dwarf at that. Ila considered for the first time how she would exit Erebor as she walked. Surely the doors were closed at night and heavily guarded. There must be another way in and out though, having only one was too dangerous. They would be secret and little known though, Ila knew. She began to grow frustrated with herself that she had not thought of this before, but at the same time being out of bed and wandering the palace when she was not supposed to be was rather exhilarating.
Ila reached the great lobby, standing and looking out from the corridor that lead to the royal wing. She saw that there were guards posted at both sides of the entranceway and others walking here and there through the great maze of walkways above her. Ila cursed their watchful eyes and knew she would never get out of the doorway, but then she had an idea. She saw beams of moonlight shining through the open balconies that were before the turrets above the great doors. If she could but get up there she could watch the sunrise, inhale the night air, even feel the wind in her hair again. She smiled to herself and immediately began trying to work out how to get up there.
It would be no small feat, figuring out the maze of corridors and stairs to reach those balconies, but if she watched the guards as they took their turns around the palace it would not be so hard. Ila took care to remain hidden in the darkness of the corridor where she was, waiting for the guards to change at the doorway so she could sneak to another corridor without being seen. She ended up waiting nearly an hour for that it felt like, but managed to dart unseen to another corridor and up another set of stairs. Ila simply noted where the guards went and came from and followed the beams of streaming moonlight. With not much trouble, she eventually reached an opening onto the balcony.
Ila walked out onto the balcony, drawing in a deep breath of fresh, sweet, cool night air. She closed her eyes as it filled her lungs and she sighed gently as she blew it out. A gentle breeze swept her hair over her shoulder and caressed her skin. The pale moonlight made her skin even paler than usual, and Ila felt she almost glowed as she basked in it.
Ila moved to stand by a stone turret and look out over the landscape, seeing for miles and miles thanks to the light of the moon. She saw Dale, it having only a few lights dotting it this early in the morning. It was all so beautiful. Ila had never realized just how beautiful the world was until recently when she had been denied its sight. She felt she could stand there forever and look out, but promised herself she would watch the sunrise and then hastily return to her chambers before anyone was the wiser. It would not be long. She could already see the sky in the east turning lighter, it was almost imperceptible but it was certain. Ila looked to the east and breathed so quietly that even she could barely hear it, until she nearly jumped out of her skin.
"What do you think you are doing?" came a male voice from behind her.
Ila jumped and turned so quickly she nearly lost her balance. She placed her hand on the stone turret and backed into it, her big doe eyes wide with fear. Fear of being surprised and fear of being caught.
It was the older of the princes, Prince Fili. He was blocking the way back inside, otherwise Ila would have fled him as fast as she could.
"Well?" he asked again, but not angrily. Rather, he was asking an honest question.
"I…I…I couldn't sleep and I was restless and I….please don't mention this to anyone. Please just let me go back to my room." Ila asked.
Fili smiled at her. "I am not going to run and tell uncle, if that is what you mean to ask." He said. "I am far more mischievous than I believe you have ever been, which is why I should warn you princess…."
"Warn me?" she asked in a small voice.
"….uncle would not be amused by this, you put yourself in danger coming out here alone at night."
All this talk about danger. Ila could not believe that Erebor was so dangerous or that she could not be trusted to take a stroll alone.
"I am fine. I have been here for only a moment and was just about to return to bed. And if it is so dangerous why are you out here at such an hour, may I ask?" Ila became a little brave.
Fili answered simply "My brother and I always rise early for our training. We saw you sneaking up the stairs and thought to see you back to bed before uncle awakens, which he always does rather early as well."
Ila did not miss that he spoke of the presence of his brother but did not note him. That was because he was standing just inside behind his brother and only then stepped from the shadows. He said nothing but joined his brother in blocking the door entirely and not meeting her gaze.
"I was not sneaking," Ila responded so quickly that it solidified that she had been. Being defeated and not wanting to anger the king, she decided to go back inside as Fili suggested.
"Come, we will see you back to the royal staircase safely." Fili said.
"I don't think anything terrible will befall me between here and there, my prince."
"Please, call me Fili. And I am ever at your service, even in so small a matter." He said with a friendly smile and Ila thought that she would grow to like him very much. His brother on the other hand….
Ila smiled in return and the three of them made their way towards the royal staircase. As they reached the bottom, Ila took one step on the first step and then turned back to them.
"You promise, you will not mention this to anyone, most of all not your uncle?" Ila asked worriedly.
Fili had opened his mouth to speak but the voice she heard was not his. It was a deeper, much more mature one.
"Mention what to me?" the deep baritone asked.
Ila froze. She heart nearly stopped. She did not want to turn around. She already knew what was behind her. But she had to. She saw Kili look away and Fili make a face that suggested he was in pain. Ila turned slowly to see Thorin at the top of the staircase, having obviously just left his own chambers. He was staring down at the three of them, looking imposing despite wearing only his trousers and a blue tunic that hung open at the top. Ila would have been enraptured by the sight under any other circumstances, but at the moment she was shaking in her boots.
When Ila could not answer, he spoke again. "Have my nephews pulled you into some sort of mischief?"
Ila couldn't let him think that, not when they- or at least Fili -had tried to warn her and return her safely to bed. And so Ila found her voice.
"No. no my king. I could not sleep and was taking a walk through the palace when the princes found me and escorted me back here."
Thorin said nothing, only slowly moved down the stairs and closer to her. Ila held her breath, not sure if he believed her or not. It felt like an eternity for him to descend and no one moved or said a word. As he came to stop in front of her, still a step higher than her, he regarded her closely. Ila blinked up at him, wishing he would say something, anything. Then, he finally did.
"Really?" he asked, leaning in towards her and inhaling her scent gently.
"Then why do you smell like the night air? Fresh and dewy?" His voice was low, and it was more a statement than a question. Ila's eyes widened before she could stop them and she swallowed. How could he tell that?! Ila's mind screamed at her. She found herself unable to answer again and heard one of the princes shift behind her.
Thorin looked past Ila to his nephews. "Had you any part in this?" he asked and Ila immediately answered for them, "No, they didn't."
His blue eyes shifted to hers and she saw how angry they were. "She was only on the balcony uncle, she was in no danger—" Fili's voice came from behind her but Ila dared not move under Thorin's gaze. His cold eyes moved to him again.
"You know better than that. To your training, both of you." Thorin all but growled and Ila heard them both answer "Yes uncle," and depart.
She listened to their footfalls die out behind her and waited for Thorin to speak. He remained maddeningly silent for a moment or two. Ila wondered if he was going to say anything and found the courage to ask, "May I return to my room my lord?" in a meek and timid voice.
"Why for, when you have no intention of staying there?" he said and she could tell he was trying very hard to maintain his temper.
"My lord…"
"Did Lord Balin not tell you that you were to stay indoors unless accompanied by guards?" he asked.
"He did, but I did not think that a balcony was technically outside, my king." Ila answered carefully.
"It very obviously is, and is very obviously dangerous." Thorin answered.
"I do not see how—"
"Don't you?" Thorin snapped and Ila clamped her mouth shut.
Thorin moved around her, slowly and almost like a predator.
"First, slinking about at night, alone, which you know you are never to go about the palace alone, especially with the presence of our visitors as I know Lord Balin made you aware of as well as my desire for you to be kept safely at a distance from them, you could have easily been overtaken by some mad dwarf or worse yet a man. Second, a balcony is the worst place to be in a dragon attack, which if one had occurred tonight you would be dead before anyone even knew you had left your room."
Thorin's eyes were bright with anger. Ila was on the verge of tears. She had not considered either of those fates that Thorin had angrily outlined for her, and in truth she thought the latter one was highly unlikely, but she did not dare say that aloud. Instead, she tried to steady herself under his fearsome gaze.
"You disobeyed my order to remain in the palace and to stay away from the great hall while there were visitors in our kingdom." Thorin said angrily and his voice raised as his temper flared.
"I never left the palace," she interrupted, surprised by her own boldness.
It was Thorin's turn for his eyes to widen.
"And I feel like a caged animal, what with not being able to go anywhere in the palace or even have a breath of fresh air—"
Ila should have stopped herself, but she was frustrated and only wanted him to know how she felt. Thorin however took it to mean that she was ungrateful for all he had bestowed on her, which in his estimation had been a great deal.
And it was. Her rooms, the lavish furnishings, her room service and ability to sleep in and come and go as she pleased. Granted, that had to be curtailed while there were men under the mountain, but he thought he gave her quite a bit of freedom for a future queen. And to have her sneak about in the darkness, not being entirely truthful when he asked her questions, defying orders and pretending not to understand them angered him very much.
"Air? It is air that you desire? After all I have presently given you? And in such a short span of time?" Thorin's face was red and he was losing control of his temper finally. Ila unconsciously backed up and started to defend herself.
"No, no it's not that I am ungrateful—"
"But?"
"But I, I—"
"I am waiting princess."
His interruptions were so irritating and unnerving, she said it before thinking.
"—I feel like a prisoner sometimes."
She blurted that out. It did not come out right. She immediately wished she hadn't said it.
Thorin practically had steam coming out of his ears.
A prisoner. She felt like a prisoner. What with every fine thing he had bestowed on her, the time he took to give her a special tour, allowing her to miss breakfast by sleeping as late as she wanted and having breakfast brought to her room, among other things, made her feel like a prisoner.
"My king….I—" Ila began but he had heard enough.
"To your room then, as you asked. You may stay there and truly feel like a prisoner if you cannot obey the commands of your king and future husband, cruel though he may find him." Thorin ground out through gritted teeth.
Ila's eyes watered and threatened to spill forth tears as she stared back at him wordlessly. He spared her only a second's glance more and walked past her, leaving her alone and crying now. All Ila had wanted was to relieve her cabin fever, and entertain herself until she could be with Thorin again. All she had done was anger Thorin and come off as no more than an ungrateful child.
Ila sulked slowly back to her room, but thankful to be able to hide there while she felt so miserable and embarrassed. That she had all but been banished to it would have upset her an hour ago but now she wanted to hide there forever. Who knew when she would see Thorin again now. What if she had made him so angry that he called off the wedding? All she had really wanted, yearned for even was to be with Thorin. Now he had no desire to see her at all, and Ila feared she had ruined all the progress that had been made between them.
Ila entered her room and shut the door quickly, throwing herself face down on the bed, not even bothering to remove her veil. It was soon soaking wet with tears and Ila cried loudly now, not caring if it woke Dwala in her neighboring chambers. She feared that the damage she had done was irreparable, and she cursed herself for not listening to Dwala as she cried herself back to sleep.
AN: I know this story has been rather tame so far, but trust that it will not be for too much longer. If you have read my other stories you know I enjoy sensuality to put it delicately. If that sort of thing bothers you, I will put warnings at the top of each chapter that warrants the M rating I gave this piece.
Thanks for reading and I hope you are all having a fabulous week!
