Next I woke, I noticed every part of me ached and creaked. Sitting up stiffly, I let out a disgruntled moan and ran my fingers through my hair to ease the throbbing in my head. I looked around to see that I was no longer in the streets; I was elsewhere, a place that still etched so many distant memories in my mind.

"Oh, Toushirou-kun. You're awake."

At the sound of the familiar voice, I turned my head to see Inoue standing at the doorway, a tray of white rice and steaming noodles, in her hands. A look of relief softened her face, her eyebrows raising slightly and her hazel eyes closing. "I'm glad; you've been asleep for a while."

I rubbed at my tired eyes, muttering, "Why am I here?"

Inoue stopped to lay the tray of food at the foot of the bed. "Well, Urahara-san called me yesterday and asked if I could assist him with your care. You… you were pretty beat up."

"You healed my injuries?"

"Of course!" she replied. "I never let friends walk around bruised up and stuff!"

Even though my injuries were gone, and all the bruises I received were invisible, I could still feel them. Like a deep wound under the skin, one unseen but felt. All I could think about was what happened; as I recalled the previous night's events, I could feel each blow one after the other hitting me.

"Where is he?"

The girl looked startled at my question. "Kurosaki-kun? He's at Urahara-san's… I wasn't able to heal his injuries, though…"

His wounds… all I did was pull his hair and press hard on his neck; his wounds were nothing compared to mine. The blood I lost was because of him…

"Toushirou… he tried to commit suicide…"

I shot a glare at Inoue, whose eyes looked sadly at her folded hands. "Why should I give a damn? Look at what I gave up for him: my pride and dignity as a male, my past, my nightmares. He doesn't know this, but I even bought presents for his sisters this Christmas only because I knew he would appreciate it. And this is what I get in return? No, I don't care what the hell happens to him now."

Inoue was slow to respond. "I-I know you must feel betrayed, but that wasn't Kurosaki-kun. He would never do that, not even to an enemy. I remember," here, she lowered her voice to barely a whisper, "when I was held prisoner at Hueco Mundo. Ulquiorra never laid a hand on me, even though he had all the right and power to do so. He wasn't all everyone said about him…in that aspect, he was just like Kurosaki-kun."

I crossed my arms and looked away. "You know, I liked you better as a dunce," I grumbled.

She chuckled, a hint of nervousness. "I'm still quite an airhead; I don't understand a lot of things, even now," she stated softly. Then she nodded towards the food. "It's been almost a full day since you've eaten; I've made something simple, so-"

"I'm not hungry," I interrupted bluntly, "I just want answers as to what the hell happened last night."

Inoue went pale, as if she were holding her breath. Her hands fumbled stupidly together as she fought to find a reply. "I… I can't give you any answers…" she finally said.

I narrowed my eyes and looked away. "I didn't think you would."

"Do… do you still hate him?"

I sighed. "I don't hate him," I stated. "I only said that to make him stop, to make myself feel better about what was going on. Honestly… I hate myself."

"Why?"

Biting my lower lip, I thought long and hard over my answer. As simple as it was, it was hard to put in into words. "I… even though I saw the changes in him, I never fully opened my eyes to the harsh reality that I might be losing him. But that it was me who was killing him… I couldn't live with myself knowing that he died because of me."

Inoue smiled gently. "Well, he's not dead. That must be of some comfort." She leaned forward to gently pat my head. "Don't worry about it; I live with guilt every day knowing that so many people were hurt and killed in order to save me. But you know what? I also live knowing that everyone who came to my rescue cared, and that they helped out of their own free will."

I raised my brow and stared hard up at her. "What does that have to do with this?" I asked. "Nothing good can come out of this."

"Actually," Inoue began, "everything could go back to normal. That'd be good, right? Just… just know that he still cares, and that he'll do anything to get you back."

As I opened my mouth to question her logic, the phone rang loudly. The girl scrambled to the living room, saying, "I'll be back, Toushirou-kun!"

As I waited, I could hear the girl muttering into the phone. Taking a quick glance to the rice and noodles, I finally realized how hungry I was. It reminded me of the time back at the beach, where I ate a cup of ramen and Ichigo a plate of sushi rolls. How I longed for that moment to happen again and again. Just as I reached over for the bowl of steaming noodles, Inoue came back, a soft smile on her face.

"He's awake, Toushirou-kun. You can go see him now."