Notes: Oh man, this chapter fought me every step of the way. I had a major case of writer's block. Sorry about the wait!

Also, I thought I'd share that we've got an awesome MCIT chat going on Skype. It's a fun, safe, friendly environment full of awesome people. If anyone's interested in chatting with a me and a handful of other MCIT writers/readers, just let me know in a comment and I'll get you the link. You don't even need Skype to join!

Lastly, a quick thanks to spiderbrojenkins and Katryna for helping me find the motivation to finish this chapter!


Chapter 9: Just a little more time

I wake with a start, nearly falling out of my hammock. After resettling myself, I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing. Images from my dream dance across my eyelids, taunting me. Flashes of color and vibrating lines and a low hum that lingers in my ears. It was complete nonsense! And yet it leaves me feeling strangely unsettled.

After a few minutes, I give up on sleep and roll out of my hammock with a quiet huff.

It's only our second night at sea, but I feel none of the sickness of my first time on a ship. In fact, I feel quite comfortable with the gentle roll of the deck below my feet. I navigate the stairs easily, making my way toward fresh air. I move as quietly as possible, aware of the snores and quiet breathing around me.

The sky is clear, the full moon casting everything in an ethereal light. I almost don't notice the figure leaning against the railing; he fits so well in the setting, white hair nearly glowing.

"Can't sleep?" I ask, moving to join him.

Fenris doesn't startle. I wonder if he heard me coming. Elves do have ridiculously good hearing. "No," he replies simply.

I sigh and join him. "Yeah, me neither."

We stand in silence for a time, just gazing out at the silver-tipped waves.

"Are you worried about going back to Tevinter?" The question comes out without much thought. He tenses and, for a second, I think I've gone too far. Then his shoulders slump.

"Yes," he admits quietly.

"I won't let anything happen to you, you know?"

He scowls down at his hands where they grip the side of the ship. "You cannot promise such a thing." Then he mutters under his breath, "And I do not require your protection."

"I know you don't need my protection," I hurry to say. "I mean, you can rip a person's heart from their chest, for God's sake!" I pause, studying him out of the corner of my eye. "But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying you'll leave Tevinter the same way you enter it. A free man. I'll die before I let you be enslaved again."

"We've only just met." It's a statement of fact, but I can hear what's not being said: How can you be so loyal so quickly? We're relative strangers.

"And?" I challenge anyway.

"We hardly know one another, and yet you say you would die for my freedom?" he scoffs.

I quirk an eyebrow at him. "Yes."

"Why?"

I finally relent. "I'm opposed to the institution of slavery just on principle."

He nods as if I'm finally making sense. "So it isn't personal."

I hum. "I wouldn't say that." He frowns again. Before he can reply, I continue. "Hey, can I ask you a favor?"

He narrows his eyes in suspicion. So cynical, this one! "Possibly."

"I'm going to need to learn Tevene. Would you be willing to teach me?"

He seems to come to a conclusion then. "If you wanted something, you could have just said so," he growls, bristling. "I don't need your empty promises."

My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "What…?" Suddenly it hits me. Oh… shit! "No, no! I was serious about what I said. I wasn't trying to butter you up or something. If you'd rather not, I can probably just ask Altan. I just figured, since we're both awake, we might as well be productive, right?" I chuckle nervously. I'm an idiot.

Fenris stares down at his hands again. "Oh…" he coughs. Then he glances up at me. "It is a difficult language."

"Eh," I shrug and flap my hand at him. "It's just a form of Latin. I learned like half of it when I was in med school."

Fenris looks really confused but he nods anyway. "Let us get started then."


The trip to Tevinter is much longer than the one to Kirkwall. At least it's not as crowded this time and I get to kinda-sorta bathe. Even still, it feels like my skin and hair are covered in a thin layer of salt. It itches, to say the least.

"You'll get used to it," Isabela comments, noticing me scratching at my arms.

"I'm not sure I want to," I reply. "I feel like I'm being pickled alive."

She gives a throaty chuckle and starts doing something with one of the tied-off ropes. I stand off to the side and try not to get in the way of the rest of the crew. I could stay below deck – there's no risk of me upchucking all over the place anymore – but I prefer the fresh air and the view.

"So I hear you get around," Isabela says.

My face scrunches up in confusion. "Uh, pardon?" What is she trying to imply?

"You travel a lot," she replies innocently, but her eyes are sparkling with mischief. "Or so Varric and Hawke tell me."

Oh my god. "Yeah… I do."

"You've seen a lot of different places then." She sounds almost wistful.

"Yes."

"Which one was your favorite?" She doesn't look up from her task, but I can tell she's listening intently.

"You mean besides Thedas?" I ask with a smirk. She returns it.

"Obviously." She rolls her eyes. "But surely there are more interesting places."

"Thedas is descending into a full-blown Armageddon. That's not interesting enough for you?" I joke, sitting down on a nearby crate.

"I think I can guess what that means. But maybe I just want a good story, hm? So get on with it, woman!" She waves a hand at me.

I laugh and try to think back, eyes unfocused. "Most of the places I end up are hostile in one way or another. Sometimes it's the wildlife, sometimes it's the people, and sometimes it's just the weather. But I remember this one planet… God, it was beautiful. Huge forests, untouched by anyone before me. Rolling hills scattered with flowers. And the most gorgeous sunsets… It reminded me a lot of my home, just sans people… and food. Most of the stuff wasn't edible to me. I found that out pretty fast," I chuckle softly. "I was half-starved the whole time, but at least I was somewhere peaceful."

When I focus again, Isabela is staring out at the water, rope dangling from her weather-worn fingers. "There is so much of this world I want to see," she tells me quietly. It's strange to see her so serious, but it also serves as yet another reminder of how real these people around me are. They're not caricatures or one-dimensional in any way. They are real people, with hopes and dreams and fears of their own. Which just makes what's coming all the worse.

"I think you will see it," I tell her, not giving voice to my fears. "One day you'll sail farther than anyone and find new lands and people."

She glances at me over her shoulder. "You know this for certain? Am I witnessing one of your famed predictions?" she teases.

I laugh. "No, I just have a feeling." I close my eyes and let the warm sun soak into my skin; listen as the waves crash against the hull. "I can see why you like this life," I comment after a moment.

"It's strangely peaceful, isn't it? For a ship full of pirates." I can hear the fond amusement in her voice.

Softly, I start to sing, "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me…" I crack an eye open to find her watching me bemusedly. I close it again with a smile.

The conversation drifts off and Isabela soon moves on to other parts of the ship. I stay where I am, though, lulled into a light doze by the sun, wind, and waves. My thoughts are calm, drifting through – one after the other – without lingering for too long. I think about Mycah, about Talisse and Christina, and wonder how they are and if they miss me. A large part of me aches to see them again, to feel that sense of belonging that eluded me for so long. I had it for a short while here, in Thedas, but that time has passed. I can't help but hope that maybe someday, if I make it through the coming storm, I'll have it again.

"May we speak?"

I startle into awareness, blinking furiously in the harsh light. When my eyes finally adjust, I look up to see Altan towering over me.

"Sure." I stand so that I don't have to crane my neck.

"Do you have a plan for hiding your elf friend once we arrive?" he asks. "The ship will be searched thoroughly."

I hesitate. "Not really… but I'm sure Isabela has plenty of places for him to hide."

Altan looks highly skeptical and not a little bit worried. "I suggest you figure that out sooner rather than later."

I feel my hackles rise at his condescending tone. Where does he get off talking to me like that, anyway? I'm not a child! As I open my mouth to tell him off, it hits me: I'd better get used to being talked to that way if I want to keep my cover in Tevinter. No, I won't be playing the part of a slave, but I'll be expected to act subserviently nonetheless. The thought sends a flash of anger that heats my face, as well as the chill of doubt to cool it back down. Perhaps I didn't think this through enough. Can I let those pompous Tevinter assholes boss me around and talk down to me without saying a word? What's more, can I follow their orders and act the part of an obedient servant? Because that's what I'll be. A glorified servant.

I've taken too long to answer and now Altan is scrutinizing me. I realize I have a choice here. We only have a week left of this trip, which means there's not much time before I'll need to fill my role and do so comfortably. If I want to convince anybody, I'm going to need practice. So, here and now, I can either tell Altan off or I can do as he says.

Or…

"I'll go talk to Isabela right now," I assure him, "but only because I need to get used to being ordered around by you. Don't forget that we're equals, milord." Though the last word comes out heavy with sarcasm, I give a polite bow before I walk away. Altan looks surprised and confused and I have to wonder if he simply didn't realize how he sounded.

It doesn't take long to find Isabela again. I only have to ask one person to be pointed toward the galley. When I enter, she's sitting on top of a table, surrounded by members of her crew. All of them are eating and laughing raucously. She notices me before I can say anything and waves me over before turning to the cook and asking him to fix me a bowl. The burly – and disturbingly hairy – man slops some stew into a wooden bowl and shoves it at me with a grunt. It smells delicious, but there's also an eighty-percent chance of finding a hair in it. I shrug inwardly and look for a place to sit. I notice Fenris sitting quietly in the corner, far from the rest of the loud group. I walk over and sit next to him.

"What's with you and corners, hm?" I tease.

"What's with you joining me in them?" he counters. We both pause, then, and glance at each other. A choked giggle splutters from between my lips and that's all it takes before we're both laughing.

"That sounded better in my head," he acknowledges between chuckles.

I grin broadly. "I'm sure."

"Aw, Fenris!" Isabela coos, sitting down across from us. "Have you made a friend? I'm so proud of you!"

Fenris grumbles, ducking his head and slurping at his stew.

"Isabela," I intrude, keeping her from teasing the poor elf further. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" She quirks an eyebrow.

"We're going to need to hide Fenris before we pull into port. And I mean hide him well."

The pirate nods and leans forward, her sleek hair tumbling over one shoulder. "I thought as much. Stands out a bit, doesn't he?"

"A bit," I agree.

"There's no way to hide my tattoos," Fenris adds with a hint of defensiveness.

"We know," Isabela assures, then says to me, "I have many smuggling holds throughout the ship. I know just where to put him."

"Good," I sigh, relieved at having that taken care of.

But then she asks, "How will you get him to Altan's property?" and my eyes widen. Oh. Why didn't I consider that? It suddenly becomes clear to me how woefully unprepared I am.

Isabela must notice my spike of panic, because she continues with, "He could always stay aboard until after dark. It should be much easier to move through the city undetected then."

Shouting thank you over and over again in my head, I simply say, "Good idea."

Fenris nods in agreement. "I know how to get around unnoticed."

Though the thought of him sneaking through the streets of Minrathous alone is worrying, I dare not ask if he's sure. There's a certain flintiness to his gaze that warns me off. Plus, Fenris is an adult. One who's dealt with more than most. He doesn't need me to mother him.

I dig into my food, feeling a little better. I still feel uneasy, though. There are so many things that could go wrong and the consequences of messing up are dire. Anxiety grips my lungs and makes my palms sweat when I think about any of us getting caught. This is more than a recon mission. I'm here to observe, yes, but also to fix things.

You? Fix things? Ha!

I'm not surprised that the voice chose now to pitch in. It seems to always find its way back to the surface when I'm feeling vulnerable, here to kick me when I'm down. But I can't help agreeing with it this time. I'm not especially good at fixing. I'm good at blowing things to pieces and ruining lives. How can I possibly fix an issue that's been around for hundreds of years? I've got no idea what I'm doing. My plan was to go to Tevinter and figure out a plan. What the hell was I thinking? For that matter, what was Leliana thinking, letting me leave without thinking any of this through first?

Oh God… we're completely fucked and it's all my fault.

Just as I'm about to go back to my hammock and curl into a ball of despair, a small voice in the back of my mind reminds me of my promise to Dad. I'll always strive to be someone you'd be proud to call your daughter. I drop my spoon into the bowl and pull my necklace out from beneath my shirt. I look at the carved bird, then open the locket to look at the pictures. After a moment, I tuck them both away again and straighten my spine.

Now isn't the time for falling apart. There's too much at stake.


The day we make landfall is unbearably hot. The sun beats down on the deck and reflects off the water harshly. Below deck is even worse. Those of us unaccustomed to such heat are huddled in what little shadow we can find.

I've already changed into something less conspicuous: a set of fine leather armor provided by Varric before we left. Needless to say, my t-shirts and leather jacket would stand out in Minrathous. My things are hidden away in a secret compartment on the ship and will stay there until I can safely bring them to Altan's estate.

I'm not the only one in disguise. Even Isabela has changed. Gone are her heavy, gold accessories and revealing clothing, replaced with a simple tunic and trouser get-up. Her hair has been pulled back from her face into a tight bun, making her look more severe. She's barely recognizable this way.

As we get closer, Isabela escorts Fenris and the 'slaves' below. Fenris will be tucked away in the most well-hidden of the holds. The others are to be locked in the brig.

I take my place beside Altan, back straight, feet shoulder-width apart, and hands clasped behind my back. Isabela returns soon enough and starts barking orders.

The waters off the coast of Minrathous are apparently deep enough for full-sized ships to dock. Isabela's isn't huge, which seems to make the process easier. The crew carefully maneuvers the ship into place, dropping anchor at the right time to bring us to a stop next to one of the docks. A few of them then climb over the side to tie us in place and help position the gangplank.

Altan stands and makes his way over, ready to greet the inspectors. I follow him, expression blank. Isabela joins us soon after, looking stern.

A few minutes later, a well-groomed man with sharp eyes boards the ship. He glances around, sneering at the crew. "Proof of identification," he demands tonelessly, not bothering to look at any of us. He's speaking Tevene, of course, but I've worked hard over the past few weeks. I've got the basics down.

Great first impression, Tevinter.

Altan pulls a few pieces of folded parchment out of his robes and hands them over. The man flips through them, pausing every now and again to linger on something. Then he re-folds and hands them back to Altan.

"You've been gone for some time, Aubericus. Care to explain why?"

"I wanted to travel," Altan explains calmly. "To see how the rest of the world runs."

The man's eyes narrow. "And what did you learn?"

"That all the stereotypes about Southerners are true." Altan gives an easy chuckle. The man doesn't join in, but he does nod once.

"Who are these people?" he asks, gesturing to Isabela and me.

"My bodyguard and the ship captain I hired to bring me home," Altan answers.

Isabela bows slightly. "Welcome aboard," she greets politely. I remain silent.

The man looks her up and down and doesn't respond. Then he turns back to Altan. "Your ship must be searched. These are trying times and we must take the utmost care in keeping our citizens safe. I'm sure you understand." The words sound rehearsed and insincere, as if he really doesn't care whether we understand or not.

"Of course." Altan tilts his head.

The man raises his hand and flicks his fingers. Three other men file onto the ship and fan out around him. He nods and they disperse, spreading out to search.

"You're gone for five years and bring back only one bodyguard?" The man questions Altan.

"A very good bodyguard. You know how dangerous the south can be. I acquired her early on and she has done her job well." Even though Altan is lying through his teeth, it still feels strange having him talk about me like this. I feel… devalued, even though he's praising my work. God, this is gross. "I also bought a few slaves as a present to my sister. She's cross that I've been gone so long. Hopefully that will smooth things over." Very gross. I know Altan can't really believe the things he's saying. Why would he be helping us if he did? Still, hearing it makes me want to punch him in the face.

"They will need to be inspected as well," the man says, not acknowledging any other part of what was said.

Before Altan can reply, one of the other men hurries over. "Sir, we've found a smuggling hold."

No! My heart races.

The man's eyes light up like it's Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. He smiles and it's like watching an oil spill spread across the surface of the ocean. He looks at Isabela, eyebrow raised. "A pirate ship?"

I have to commend Isabela for keeping cool under pressure. She just smiles and says, "It used to be. My crew and I reclaimed it a few years back."

"Then why keep the holds?" he asks.

"They can… come in handy." She gives him a coy smile and he seems to relax somewhat.

"I'm required to search them," he informs her.

She keeps smiling. "Search away!"

"Why don't you show me around your fine vessel, Captain…?"

"Magdalena," she finishes for him. "And it would be my pleasure." She flutters her eyelashes a little to seal the deal.

Woman's got skills.

Isabela leads the way and the man follows, gesturing at Altan to follow as well. He and I walk behind them, exchanging a quick look. Isabela takes us below deck, making sure to pause and talk about her ship any chance she gets. She's doing a very good job of stalling, but the man eventually asks to see the smuggling holds.

Oh God, please don't let them find Fenris...

My mind races, trying to come up with a plan, but I'm failing. All I can think of is the promise I made to him and how I'm going to break it before we even step foot in Tevinter.

Why did I think I could pull this off?

It's only fitting that one of the men walks in then and says, "We've found another hold, but we can't figure out how to open it." My heart stops for a second.

Oh, nonono!

I have to work to hide my panic. It's growing, consuming me. What do I do, what do I do?! Whether I blow my cover or wait things out, we're screwed. Maybe I can tell one of the crew members to hide him somewhere else? But no, they're all up on the deck and anyway, those men have already found his hiding spot. I could attack the lead asshole. We could dispatch them all and sail away. But could we make open water before someone realized something's wrong?

I decide the last one is our best bet. I'll stay quiet and follow along for now, but if need be, I'll slit this man's throat. I study him closely as we walk. His outfit has a high collar. That might make things difficult. I may need to apply more pressure… just a bit.

No! No more unnecessary killing! You promised!

We stop in front of the hidden door to the hold. The man orders Isabela to open it. Her panic finally shows, but only in her eyes.

But it's to save Fenris!

Isabela starts fiddling with the lock. I can tell she's trying to buy more time, but what for? There's no way to stop this except –

NO! Make it mean something, Rhynn!

If I only had a little more time, maybe I could think of something! Just a little! We could subdue them, take them as prisoners. But it's a long way to open water. We were surrounded by land for an entire day before we reached Minrathous.

Oh god oh god!

The lock finally clicks open. Isabela has bought us as much time as she can; it's not enough. The man moves forward and starts to open the door. The glow of lyrium spills through the crack. Fenris is ready. He'll come out fighting. We outnumber the inspectors by a lot, but it could still be a challenge. They are unknowns and thus potentially dangerous. And someone outside might hear the fight. Then we'd be outnumbered. I can't let any of these people be captured or killed. I can't!

The lead guy is smiling his oil-slick smile again. The door is still opening.

Just a little more time…

There is no more.

"No!" I cry, lurching forward and throwing my hands out as if I can stop this. The world seems to slow down around me as adrenaline courses through my veins. All I know is I need to reach Fenris before this asshat does.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a small observation is made. It thrusts its way to the fore, demanding my full attention.

The door hasn't opened any more.

What a strange thing to notice… and yet, in the split second it takes me to cross that small distance to the smuggling hold, it's enough to stop me in my tracks.

No, it hasn't, has it?

My eyes flow from the door to the hand opening it and up to the face of the man it belongs to. He's… he's not moving. Not even a little bit. He's just frozen in place, still smiling creepily.

"What-"

I whip my head around to see if anyone else has noticed this, only to find… only to find they're all frozen. Every last one of them. They're not even breathing!

"What the ever-loving fuck?!"