Lesbianism

Sincerely (Louis) Vuitton

prompt: My date with a friend.

dedicated to: My sister, her birthday was yesterday! Happy birthday Onee-Chan!

a/n: I'm really getting the hang of this updating thing. Okay, enjoy!

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, period.

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chapter oo8: the fake date part 1

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"Saku-Chan! Are you ready yet?" Her mom called from downstairs, and it was clearly annoying her. She kept asking that every five minutes!

"JUST A MINUTE MOM!" Sakura nearly choked when the yelled.

"SAKU-CHAN, STOP SHOUTING!"

"MOM WHY DON'T YOU STOP IT SO WE'LL BOTH STOP!"

"... WHAT?"

(Sigh.)

"Okay Ino before my mom loses her voice box, let's... get to work, I guess." Ino squealed, "Oh Sakura-forehead, at least be a little excited! I mean, you're dating the hottest, sexiest and most insanely gorgeous hunk of man in Konoha High School, at least be enthusiastic about this."

Sakura thought for a moment and then...

"Woo hoo."

Ino glared, Jeez, what a schnook. Wait... What is a schnook? "Very funny billboard brow, I can see the excitement leaking out of your forehead."

"Whatever pig."

Ino sighed; this was probably the hardest girl to work with. She wasn't like a girl at all. She's a tomboy, or better yet, a lesbian. And this lesbian had no skirts, wore boxers for underwear (I know, eww right?) and basically has no idea what's the difference between panties and boxers. It's totally different things!

Maybe Sasuke can go gay and date Sakura; they'll be the perfect pair!

Ino inwardly snickered at that thought; Sasuke, being... gay? Flipping his hair to the side flirtatiously, wearing nail polish, skirts, bras—

Okay that went too far, ERASE.

"Hello, hello, HELLO PORK CHOP ARE YOU THERE?"

Sakura's voice disrupted Ino's (disturbing) thoughts, and maybe bonked her on the head too hard.

"HEY!"

Insert Sakura's evil snicker here, "So sorry piggy."

Ino sighed, again, and went back to regaining her normal composure, meaning hands on her hips and eyes darted at Sakura's body (not a perverted way... jeez, the nerve of some people here!).

"Okay, so, anywaaays, which do you, think should be first: Hair—" The blond lifted the hair dryer and iron curler, "Make-Up—" she carefully dropped the hair dryer and curler and picked up lipstick, mascara and a blush-on, "Or... Dress?" She carefully dropped the make-up equipment and lifted up the green halter top dress.

Sakura (pretended, I swear!) looked thoughtful, after a minute she finally answered,

"None of the above."

She turned her heel and jumped five feet to the bed. She spread her arms like a starfish and laid her head on the soft, blue plush pillow.

"UGH FOREHEAD YOU... YOU'RE TOTALLY HOPELESS!"

Ino sighed... again. Grr. It was all Sakura's fault. She just had to be a stupid lesbian. She just had to love the same orientation as her.

"So? Fuck off, Piggy."

Ino growled menacingly, "No Sakura, I will not, fuck off. You will go to this date, you will enjoy it, and you will be a girl. A normal girl, who wears PANTIES, skirts, heels." Sakura snorted, "And what if I don't, boar?"

"Then I will—" She looked around the room for any kind of item that will be used for black mail and then she found it, the perfect item.

She lifted the item up teasingly, "Or I will rip this teddy."

She taunted the rosette, who was fully alive this time, and swung the bear side to side.

She grabbed the two ears using her two hands and slowly, she started to riiip the top of the poor bear's head, causing great grief to the pink-haired girl.

"PUT THAT DOWN PIG. I SWEAR I WILL SKIN YOU IF YOU—"

Riiiiiiiiip.

"AHH INO, OKAY, OKAY! JUST PLEASE DON'T RIP MY TEDDY-BOO! ASDFGFHJGLHKK..."

Ino laughed menacingly and showed off an evil smile towards Sakura. The blond threw the nearly-ripped stuffed toy to the bawling girl in the corner. She stepped forward and grabbed the hairdryer on her left hand.

"Get ready to experience, salon Ino."

Even if you're a thousand miles away, you could hear Sakura's bloodcurdling scream.

Downstairs, Sakura's mother was busy reading her magazine and sipping her tea. Everything was fine until she heard a Banshee scream.

"..."

"Hmm, must be the wind." Hana remained impassive and went back to sipping her green tea.

Ten minutes has passed and Ino has finally finished drying Sakura's hair while calming her down. Next step was to turn the lifeless hair in a bun and leave the unnecessary bangs in curls.

She, Ino had to admit, is going to look drop-dead gorgeous.

"INO! Stop staring into space and let's get a move on already!"

Ino snapped out of her trance and went back to tying Sakura's pink locks in to a neat bun. It took a while, but it looked nice in the end.

All that's left to do is to curl the falling hair, and she did. The process took five to seven minutes, meaning it's time for...

"MAKE-UP!" Sakura's face turned in to complete horror, as if she has seen the grudge. And right now, she's looking at it. The grudge had blond hair, blue eyes and a terrifying smile.

Gulp. More like, evil smile.

"I-Ino, just please, please, please don't go overboard on the make-up. Just maybe the stick lip or the gloss lippy thing. Or maybe just the thing you put on your eyelashes to make them dark or... what's it called? Mascare... Marcara... Whatever!"

Ino's eyes widened. Seriously, this girl has never heard of make-up?

...

Freakish little forehead girl.

Ino slowly walked towards her light pink make-up box. As soon as she grabbed it, she opened and eyed the contents. She got a red lipstick, mascara, blush, and light brown eye shadow. And since she figured Sakura would be the perfect rebellious type, she grabbed the items used for the smoky-eye treatment.

Currently, Sakura was staring in the mirror with wide eyes. She was playing with a curl. She looked at the mirror before turning to Ino again.

Personally, Sakura thought she was beautiful. Well, her mother and father has called her beautiful, but she wouldn't have imagined herself to be that beautiful.

Of course, because she is a lesbian, she was dressed a boyish fashion. Wearing jerseys that were too big for her and manly t-shirts.

But now, she was looking at something. A something that had curly pink hair that would never be mistaken for a lesbian.

"Sakura! Let's get to work, shall we?"

Ino disrupted her thoughts from the time being. She really didn't want to discuss and argue much with her thoughts.

Ino moved slightly towards Sakura. Carefully, she opened a compact powder and picked up brush. Ever so slowly, she dipped the brush on to the lightly colored powder and spread it all over Sakura's face.

After a while, she finished. And soon she started on the eyes.

Ino didn't have any trouble dressing up her eyes, Sakura's emerald pearls were quite an eye-catcher. They were innocent, yet seductive in a way.

Eventually, Ino was on to the mascara. After telling Sakura to look up, she professionally applied the mascara.

Lastly, the lipstick. This was Ino's favourite part, she didn't know why though, but she loved applying the lipstick nonetheless.

Twenty minutes of silence was completely awkward, to Ino at least. Sakura hasn't spoken a word; she thought the rosette would be begging to stop her, but she didn't. It's as if Sakura had done this her whole life (but she hasn't, mind you!).

"Sakura! What's the matter, you've been... so quiet. It makes me feel awkward."

"Shut up, pig."

Sakura has returned to normal, sadly pushing the past thoughts.

"Let's just get this over with so I can date that lover boy."

Ino smiled half-heartedly.

She trotted over to the place where she hung the green dress.

"Here forehead, put it on."

Sakura grunted but took the dress anyways. After a few struggles, she managed to put the dress on.

When she came out, it seemed like the angels were singing and God truly loves her right now.

Ino imagined Sakura to be ill-fitted to the dress, but it was perfect. The green satin dress had a slim v-neck and a daring slit to the side; it was the shade of emerald, somehow matching Sakura's green eyes.

Sakura put on the heels that Ino preferred to her. It was high, she had to admit, but it also made her look taller and somewhat sexier.

She moved probably as slow as a slug; mainly because she might rip the dress or trip in those sadistic heels.

Ino accompanied her and taught her how to walk; she memorized the process.

Toe, heel, step. Toe, heel, step. Toe, heel, step.

After a few minutes of practice-walking, she finally got the hang of it.

"Great progress, forehead! Now, go look at yourself at the mirror and j'adore your ah-fucking-mazing self."

Sakura hesitated at first, screaming at Ino with words like, "No way Ino, I might look like a drag queen" or "No thanks Ino, I might go blind" or to put it bluntly, she disagreed.

But Ino was a girl who took the words no, as a distraction.

She gently pushed Sakura to the full view mirror.

Sakura looked at the mirror. She turned a full circle and smiled. Who was this girl? Is she the same girl who fell in love with..? Okay, I'm ignoring those thoughts.

But Sakura had to admit, she looked goddamn gorgeous.

Downstairs, Hana was sipping tea and reading the Mothers Monthly magazine. Sakura was taking long, and Sasuke could be—

Knock, knock, knock.

Ah, there he is. Two seconds after six and he was there on the spot.

"Sasu-Chan, please come in," she gestured the man to sit on the black leather couch, "I apologize for my daughter being late, you know—"

"Ahem, mom I'm ready!" A voice descended from the staircase.

Both adult and teen abruptly stood up and faced the female voice.

Sasuke couldn't help but open his mouth an inch and reveal shock.

Is this... Haruno Sakura?

A/N: You thought I was going to stop here? No way! Keep reading!

"Hey Sasuke-kun," she smiled a bit and moved to the man agape. She flirtatiously kissed his cheek and slung to his arm.

Knowing that he was awake and not dreaming, he moved from his gaped look to an equally flirtatious smirk. He buried his face not too far from his cherry blossom's ear and whispered, "You look beautiful, seriously."

Sakura didn't blush, but I'm sure every other girl on this planet would have died and gone to heaven. She just smirked and whispered back, "Well, you look incredibly sex-y." Stressing the word 'sexy', Sasuke couldn't fight back a blush.

Hana just cooed at the looks they were giving each other. She took out the camera (and the flash) and...

Click!

The two refrained from flirting with each other to the sound of the click. Sakura frowned, "Mooom!"

Hana giggled like young school girl, "So sorry dear, but I just had to do it. Mikoto-Chan wanted to see a picture of you together."

Sakura bit her tongue, in order to prevent the string of curse words. Sasuke, with Sakura still in his arms, whispered a few gentle words in order to keep Sakura calm.

"(Sigh) Alright Sasuke-kun, shall we go now?"

Sasuke quietly chuckled, "We shall."

"I'll see you later mom."

And with that, they left.

Sasuke, seeing that Sakura was having a hard time walking in the killer heels, walked mildly and slowly, her hand in his.

Her free hand though was carrying the skirt of the dress and maybe covering her legs from the open slit.

After a few minutes, they walked to Sasuke's Porsche Carrera GT.

"So... Where do you want to eat?"

Sasuke shrugged. He wasn't good with these date things anyways. "Wherever you may please, I guess."

Sakura lit up and took his arm, "Then I know I great place we can eat!"

Sakura and Sasuke moved in the Porsche and they were in awkward silence. Sakura didn't know how to bring up a conversation, only because Sasuke would answer in grunt forms and maybe the typical shrug, so she stayed quiet and only answered when he asked directions.

Sasuke, however, didn't feel too good about the silence. It was too awkward. He was used to Sakura's chatter and babbles, sometimes even her rants.

"So,"

"So? What now, Uchiha?"

"Dunno."

They were silent again.

A few minutes later, they arrived at a petite restaurant named, Cafe Italiano.

"Alright so let's eat and get this over with," Sasuke mumbled and pulled Sakura's wrist towards the glass doors of the restaurant. Sakura—knowing she was wearing incredibly high heels, took small steps and quickly moving her pace faster.

"Okay, okay, just a minute, I'm wearing heels you know!" Sasuke just gave her a smirk. "Whatever pinky, just... move or something."

Sakura cringed at the nickname; she was never fond of the color pink. Her favourite colors were always red, black and maybe the occasional green.

"Stop calling me that you lying bastard!"

Sasuke chuckled.

They entered the restaurant and the first they heard were the bustling and chatter of city folk. Many were dressed like them, some were dressed casual.

A waiter came and he had eyes for Sakura, noticing this, Sasuke pulled the rosette to his side, leaning his face on Sakura's pink hair.

"Excuse me; I have a reservation for, Uchiha."

The waiter, still not getting the fact that Sakura is (sorta, maybe, a little) Sasuke's girlfriend, aimlessly flirted.

"Aren't you a beautiful thing?"

Sakura giggled, not blush though. She was used to not blushing. Sasuke though, growled at the man who was flirting with his woman, yes that's right, his woman.

"I said: I have a reservation under Uchiha."

The waiter looked at the raven-haired sixteen-year-old and scowled, "You're not very polite, aren't you? You could say please, chicken ass."

...

Twitch.

Twitch.

Punch.

"Alright, alright, sheesh. I'll stop flirting with your girlfriend," Sasuke still growled, and maybe he still glared, "And I won't call you chicken ass!"

"Hn," his trademark word replaced his anger and so, he smirked and grabbed Sakura by the waist and buried his face on the side of her hair, just like his earlier actions.

This will probably be the most interesting date I've had in months, Sasuke smirked.

A/N: Tada! Finished, the make-up and the dressing up took long but... It was all worth it! Sakura looked pretty anyways, right? Anyways I got the links of what Sasuke and Sakura wore in the date, plus Sasuke's awesome car.

Anyways... You know how those other authors make Naruto characters speak in the author's notes? Yeah, I'm going to try that.

Okay... Naruto, since you're the main character of the anime, you say your first line.

Naruto: Alright! I must rock, dattebayo!

Say your line!

Naruto: Geez, geez alright! Please review so I can get my ramen back!

Awesome, see you soon! I'll be back, I promise!