Beware, if you haven't read New Moon than this chapter will likely confuse you!

Much thanks to Ashira, Socialxxhazard and hulahips for reviewing! 3

I sighed deeply and shifted in my seat uncomfortably. I saw Sam roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye and I turned my head towards him.

"What." It wasn't a question – he had been doing that a lot during the past few days and frankly, it was getting on my nerves. I wasn't known for having a good handle on my temper.

Sam shook his head and kept his eyes focused on the television in my living room. I wasn't taking that as an answer this time. I frowned in his direction and realized how familiar it felt – had I been frowning that much lately? I loosened my features a bit, keeping my gaze steady on Sam's face.

"No – what? You keep rolling your eyes and making that face at me when I'm not doing anything. So what is it." It was more of a demand than a question.

Sam sighed, shaking his head to himself and then turned his massive body towards me. He looked funny sitting in the small armchair that accompanied the small couch in my tiny living room. Completely out of proportion with the space – then again, I must have looked equally stupid taking up more than half of the small couch on my own.

"Jacob, I know you're dying for Bella to get back but you and I both know she's going to be gone for a while." Sam had gone to Newton's Olympic Outfitters to get some heavy duty shoes and some new tear away clothes they had gotten in, in hopes that they wouldn't rip to shreds when he transformed. He was the test subject; Billy was anxiously waiting to find out if the new clothes would cut down my expanding clothing budget. It wasn't my fault I could transform easier and faster than the rest of them.

While he was there, he had chatted up that Mike Newton kid and found out that Bella was apparently in Mexico with two girlfriends. After seeing her drive in the opposite direction of the airport, we both knew that was a lie. She had purposely bought herself two weeks to go somewhere far away from Forks – but where?

Sam shifted in his seat and his tear-away pants broke open down his right side. He muttered under his breath and snapped them back up. So far the new pants were holding up, the pair he was wearing now looked a bit beaten up but were otherwise still in one piece. The only downside was the size – extra large was the biggest they had and Sam, being massive, really needed one size bigger. He had some on order down at Newton's and was eagerly awaiting their arrival.

"You need to relax, you're on edge all the time and it's putting me on edge – and I'm sure the other guys all feel it. You've still got four days until we'll be willing to go looking for her so until then your hands are tied." Sam spoke unevenly, as though he didn't want to talk about it with me. I had gotten a sense from the others that they were frustrated with me, so I had purposely stayed away from transforming so I wouldn't have to listen to their thoughts.

I didn't respond to this comment. It was bad enough that I missed Bella more than anything but I had this hope in my gut that she would make the choice to be with the more human of the two of us – meaning me. If Sam hadn't been staying at the house I would likely have come back just to grab some supplies and then gone after her again. Her truck wasn't that fast and I would have been able to catch her within an hour or two.

"Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"I want to know about Leah."

Sam's lips formed into a tight thin line and I saw a vein appear in his neck that wasn't normally there. Normally I would never have had the gall to ask what had happened – after all, I had heard his thoughts, how badly he felt about Leah and about what had happened to Emily. But I needed to talk to someone – the other guys hadn't felt like this about a regular person – sure Embry had imprinted, but that wasn't the same – she was still a kid; and Jared had, but I wasn't really that close with him.

"I… I love Bella with everything I am. I would give anything to be with her and to be the one that makes her happy. But I know she's afraid – hell I'm afraid – that if she chooses me, I'll imprint on someone else…" I trailed off as the thought of hurting Bella made my heart ache.

Sam was quiet, but his face had gone from angry to understanding, or at least it looked understanding, and I knew he was listening to me. I continued on.

"I know you can't choose who you imprint on but… I mean… is it set in fate that I will imprint someday? Or is it by pure coincidence… I just–"

"You just want the hope that it won't happen and that you can live a normal life with the woman you've fallen in love with…" Sam finished my sentence quietly, his face carefully set into a blank expression.

"I love Emily more than life itself and I am tied to her for life, but Leah will always be my first love, and I've never stopped loving her, even since I imprinted on Emily. But you can't control fate Jake… if I could, I would have stayed as far away from Emily as possible so that I couldn't imprint." I looked right at Sam's face now and although it was still carefully blank, his eyes were sad.

"So if I was to never see the person I was going to imprint on, in theory, I wouldn't actually imprint on them? What about imprinting on someone you already know?" Was it actually that easy? Hell if I had Bella, I could easily contain myself within La Push for the rest of my life. She would be free to go where she needed, but I would always be waiting for her here, at home. It was a nice thought.

"In theory, yes. The moment I saw Emily it was all over – the worst part was that I was with Leah when it happened. I couldn't control myself and I had to leave – all the feeling and love I had for Leah, paired with the undeniable desire for Emily was too much. I knew that day that I was going to hurt Leah beyond repair and I still see that on her face to this day.

"Jake you can't control this kind of thing, not being what you are… what we are. Even though it hurt her, Leah understood. We talked after it happened, and she understood, but before that she was… the words broken-hearted don't even begin to describe her pain. I only hoped that I would imprint on someone I literally couldn't be with – then my hands wouldn't be tied."

"Couldn't be with? But once you imprint… its over… you're tied to that person for life. You said so yourself."

"That's true, but sometimes there are circumstances that prevent it from working. C'mon Jake – what would happen if you imprinted on Bella and she was turned in to a vampire? You wouldn't be able to be together… vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies. There are different things… sometimes the person you imprint on doesn't want anything to do with you. If they order you away, and mean it, then you have no option but to do what they wish. It's part of how things work – you'll do whatever it takes to make them happy.

"Sometimes, I wish that Emily had ordered me away, that she hadn't been attracted to me and fallen in love with me. Nothing would have changed – Leah and I could be together now… you have no idea how much it aches inside to still see that pain on her face… to know that I broke her."

Sam's cool exterior cracked and I saw a tremor of pain run across his face – he put his head in his hands and his shoulders heaved up and down once as he tried to catch himself before he lost control. After a moment, he looked back up, his face calm again and looked over at me.

"I love Emily… after everything that's happened… she still loves me, cares for me… and is there for me. I don't know if Leah would have been able to go through all of that with me. I don't know that she would have stayed if I had… attacked her. That's the other problem Jacob… Bella sets something off in you that I can't even begin to describe. Your feelings for her are so intense… I fear that just being with her would set them off."

"But Bella never makes me angry… sure we argue but its all in good fun."

"I don't mean like that. You can change when emotion gets the better of you Jacob – I would fear that if something between you guys happened that was intense… you wouldn't be able to control those emotions and what happened to Emily would happen to Bella. Or worse."

"Never." I shook my head – Bella was too precious for me to ever hurt. I knew that I could restrain myself around her, it had gotten easier the more time we spent together.

"Jake… you can't control who you imprint on – and I'm willing to make a very hefty bet that Bella is just about the last person you would imprint on…"

My face fell. I knew he was likely right – maybe because he'd tried to imprint on Leah, maybe because he didn't think it could happen, or maybe he knew something I didn't. I couldn't keep kidding myself that when Bella came back, she might pick me, but I may not pick her.

Sam stood up and breathed in deeply before he turned to face me.

"Jacob whatever happens… be careful. She may or may not choose you – and if she does, both of us know what could happen if the 'wrong' person walks into your life. This isn't just her choice anymore."

I watched Sam walk away through angry eyes. I had hoped that he would have insight for me, something to tell me that would make this easier, make me understand why she had left. Tell me the things I could say to ease her fears… and yet, as he walked out, I realized I would give anything to never have to feel the way he did about Leah and Emily.

The thought of Bella choosing him… it hurt. She was my best friend and I knew, somewhere inside, that if she chose him, she wouldn't be human for much longer. I put my head in my hands and wiped away the wetness that coated my face. Why did I have to fall in love with her?

I'd definitely like feedback on this one – Jacob's chapters take a lot more effort to put together than Bella's or Edwards… so tell me how I'm doing!!