Courtney tried to ignore the loud growls from her abdomen.
Gosh, Bridgette—why do you have to be so gluttonous every morning?
She has been staying over at Bridgette's condo ever since that occurrence with Duncan and Trent. She felt quite selfish, but Bridgette was more than happy to have another temporary roommate.
Truth is Courtney was just feeling lonely now. It's not like she'll admit that, you know. Duncan told her that she wouldn't see him much, because he was going to spend more time with Gwen; that also meant no sessions with him. Courtney felt culpable—she was hogging Duncan too much. Gwen was Duncan's girlfriend, not her.
She was just the best friend.
It's not like she was jealous. It's not like she missed him. Courtney just wasn't used to Duncan not being by her side, pestering her, touching her inappropriately… She wasn't used to not being with him.
Her stomach growled again.
"Oh, shut up," she grumbled to herself, rubbing her stomach absentmindedly.
Courtney saw a fast food restaurant and went inside. Normally, she wouldn't go inside these places. They violated the health code, what with the food being all oily—to her. She loathed fast food. It wasn't healthy, and the cashiers just didn't have any good customer service. Luckily, the waiters come up to you instead of you going up to the cashier and trying to order over their loud, excessive gossiping. But she was desperate.
She found a table at the far right corner and settled there. Not much people sat around her, and she liked that. For once, she wanted to feel solitary—but only just a smidge.
A waiter came up, looking tired. He brought out his notepad and pen routinely. Courtney liked that—he didn't hesitate to do his job. "Good morning, ma'am. Are you ready to order?" he asked politely but tiredly.
Courtney looked briefly at the menu. "I'd like a burger and fries. Please don't put any dairy products in the burger, though. As for the fries, don't make it too oily—just good enough. My beverage would be an ice-cold water bottle and a medium-sized, glass cup that's washed thoroughly," she ordered in a bossy tone. "Thank you." She handed him her menu after he was done writing.
She was surprised; he didn't complain at her bossy attitude, unlike some other waiters and waitresses. Perhaps it was because they were too busy and he didn't have the time or strength to complain.
He grabbed the menu and left immediately.
Courtney heard another growl.
"We're already at the damn restaurant—be patient," she said irritably to her stomach. She slammed her forehead on the table.
"Wow. My absence must be driving you insane, eh, Princess?" a deep, recognizable voice announced out loud.
Courtney's head snapped up, seeing Duncan…with his arm wrapped around Gwen's waist. Courtney was happy that she saw Duncan, but for some reason, she wasn't completely happy.
"Duncan, Gwen," she acknowledged. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Well," Gwen answered, "we're in a greasy fast food restaurant, so that means we're going to watch some wrestlers tussle around like sumo freaks. What about you?" Ah, sarcasm.
Courtney rolled her eyes.
Duncan laughed out loud. "Ah, don't mind Gwen—she's a bit irked that I'm hanging out with you more," he assured her. He looked at Gwen. "Isn't that the reason why I've been spending almost five days with you now?"
"Enough with that tone, moron. I'm not stupid. You are. This world is. Shut up and let's eat already. I'm starving." She took a seat in front of Courtney. "Do you mind if we join you?"
Oh no, of course not. I planned to enjoy my loneliness happily, but yes, you can ruin my only rare chance of peace by joining me, is what she wanted to say but then—"I don't mind. Sit."
They both sat down, Duncan giving her a sly look as he did so. Gwen immediately grabbed a menu from the table behind her and hid her face from Courtney. Courtney didn't want to assume that Gwen did that so she wouldn't have to look at her. She didn't think that Gwen was that childish. Duncan, however, seemed to be oblivious by that. He gave Courtney a grin.
"So," he started conversationally, "what have you been up to the past days I've been gone? Been to any strip clubs lately, you lesbo?"
Courtney slapped him on his hand hard. "Shut up, Duncan. To tell you the truth, I was actually relaxing for the first time. I hung out with Bridgette since I haven't for a long time. Your absence was perfectly fine for me. I wasn't lonely at all," she said.
He gave her a non-convinced look. He leaned over to Gwen who was still reading the menu. Courtney hear him murmuring something to her, making her playfully cuss at him. Courtney didn't like it; she felt ignored. She hated being the third wheel, especially when she's around couples. It was a good thing they weren't all "lovey-dovey."
A waitress came by holding Courtney's order. She was surprised to see two more customers. "Is this order for all three of you?" she asked politely.
Gwen quickly replied to her before Duncan started one of his usual flirting techniques. Courtney almost laughed when Duncan glared at Gwen for doing that.
"I'll have a salad, and he will have the same thing Courtney has." A curious look was passed her way from Duncan. "I'm not on a stupid diet; I'm just a bit full right now."
The waitress wrote down the orders on a pink notepad. "Beverages? Dessert?"
"I'll have some iced tea and Duncan will have—"
"Beer," Duncan interrupted, grinning.
Courtney glowered him and kicked his shin from under the table. Stupid idiot! Doesn't he know that it's extremely moronic to drink alcohol in the freaking morning?! With all that alcohol in his head, no wonder he's that incompetent!
"I'm sorry, we don't serve alcohol in the morning. It's just for safety precautions," the waitress said, smiling apologetically. "Would you like some water, though?"
"Yeah, whatever." Duncan looked displeased. "I want some brownies, too."
Courtney's stomach growled at the mention of brownies. Three pairs of eyes were sent her way, including a smirk. "I—I want some brownies, as well," she muttered. "I'm just hungry, is all."
But they weren't listening after she said her last sentence. Duncan and Gwen were whispering something she couldn't quite comprehend. She assumed that they were flirting or talking about something that doesn't concern her. Despite that, yet again, she felt left out. She wasn't jealous, no. Just…left out. Out of the loop. Out in the cold, and many other idioms that could come to mind.
A memory sneaked inside Courtney's brain. This scene in front of her reminded Courtney of the time she went out with Bridgette and her new boyfriend. Of course, Courtney didn't want to go, because she wanted to study for an exam, which was in a week and a half. Which was also a lie, her studying. She didn't plan on studying; she just wanted to do something else other than watch her best friend and a guy make out erratically in front of her the whole entire time.
Anyway, the three of them planned on watching a movie—yes, it seemed typical and sort of cliched, but Bridgette was really persistent. Courtney thought it was stupid to come with them on their first date, but that was Bridgette, being incredibly thoughtless and desperate.
During the movie, Bridgette and the guy were cuddling and playing footsie with each other. Courtney knew, because she was just right there. It was like they forgot her—she was the third wheel, though. After the movie, she swore to never repeat an event like this ever again.
But fate seemed to hate her right now.
As long as they don't start exchanging saliva in front of me, I'm good, Courtney thought positively.
Duncan's lips went to Gwen's right ear and he whispered something. Gwen tried not to giggle, but she did accidentally. Duncan bit her earlobe playfully, and that killed Courtney's positive attitude. Gwen glared at him; she tried to stifle her smile, but her mouth twitched. The view in front of Courtney was absolutely ghastly; she wanted to vomit.
"Would you two mind not flirting in front of me? Look, if I don't stop this now, you guys might end up having sex right here in this innocent restaurant, where there are families and young children. Just giving you a little heads up," Courtney said to them out loud, annoyed. "This is for my sake, as well, because I don't want to gag out my dinner from last night."
Gwen gave her an I-don't-really-care look. "Well, then if you don't want to gag out your last night's dinner, I suggest that you eat the food in front of you before it gets cold so you gag out that instead. Happy?" she snapped. "Jeez, Courtney, we're sorry we're basically flirting in front of you, but if you're going to have that bitchy—"
Duncan nudged her, giving Courtney an anxious look. "Hey, Gwen, stop your—," he started.
"—then we're going to leave right now, 'kay?"
Courtney glowered at her with intense icicles. She was calm; she wasn't fazed by her angry tirade. But when she heard the word "bitchy," something inside her roared. Some people have called her that, but she ignored it most of the time. But right now, she was hungry, irritated, left out, and tired. Anger just didn't mix well with those.
She stood up and slammed her hands on the table, silencing everyone in the restaurants.
"You know, right now, I definitely want to beat the shi—!"
Duncan grabbed her arms over the table and walked around it, dragging her to the nearest restroom. The girls' restroom. He shoved her inside. Courtney's loud complaints and threats were ignored. She watched with shocked eyes as he leaned around her and locked the door.
His calm, teal eyes looked straight through her angry, onyx ones.
Courtney heard the groan of the dim light surround them. She just found out that she was trapped. No; his hands weren't on either side of her, but he was close enough to do that. She could beat him up—he might put up a good fight as well—but she didn't want to risk it. He will most likely take drastic measures. As in touching her inappropriately.
Irritated to the max, Courtney shouted out, "WHAT?!"
He chuckled, looking like he knew that she was going to do that. He stroked her left cheek softly and slowly. But his eyes were serious now.
"Okay, I guess I'm going to have to act like the mature adult here, huh?" he murmured. "You acted like a witch back there. I said witch, not bitch. I don't even know why you freak out over something that people call a lot of people here. Why do you?"
"None of your fucking business," she sneered.
"Hey, darling, I was just askin'. Anyways, I'd appreciate it if you didn't act like that again with Gwen. Yeah, I know she acted the same; I'll talk to her about that. But you're the freaking therapist here, Courtney. You even got an award proving how awesome and successful you are. But what you did today made me think that you didn't deserve it. Usually, I'd want to see a little cat fight, but not between the girl I love and my best friend. That's different. So take a chill pill." He paused for a while. "I'm…gonna go and talk to Gwen now. I'll leave you here until you calm down. See ya outside, Princess." He gave her a brief hug, unlocked the door, and went outside.
The door slammed close quietly.
Courtney slid down all the way to the ground, hitting her rear, but she didn't notice. Duncan's words hit her hard; it wasn't meant to hurt her, but she just hated accepting the fact that what he said was true. She was a therapist—a damn good one at that. She kept her composure and managed to not show her true emotions, especially her enemy: anger.
But why? Why did I just suddenly snap like that? All Gwen did was say something that was only meant to irritate me, not make me chop off her legs. She didn't even do anything that made me feel contempt towards her. Is there something lurking beneath my emotions? Who am I really angry at?
She stood up, taking a deep breath. She was going to do something that she rarely did—apologize. She always thought that apologizing to someone was a pretty weak thing to do; it would cut your pride. But she pushed away what she believed in for years for this.
She went outside the restroom, but stopped when she heard Gwen and Duncan talking. She didn't see them, and neither did they, because the wall was blocking the view.
"…you're mature, Gwen?" Duncan was saying. "Seriously, I thought you grabbed onto that role when we became a damn couple? Oh, and another thing: don't call Courtney a 'bitch' anymore."
Courtney heard Gwen snort. "I didn't even call her a fucking bitch, Duncan. I said that she was acting bitchy. There's a huge difference between the two words, Dr. Phil. Besides, you can't stop me. If she keeps on acting all snappy, then I'll call her a bitch straight up. Maybe she is one. Anyway, why are you defending her as if you guys are friends? Why can't I call her a bitch, huh, Duncan? Why the hell do you know her so well? I thought being all happy buddies and crap is against the rules?" she sneered.
Duncan sighed. He was silent for a while. Courtney edged closer to hear more, to see if he was whispering something. The questions that Gwen demanded to Duncan were questions that Courtney didn't even think about asking. Why are you defending me? Why do you want to be friends with me? How do you know that I don't like to be called a "bitch"?
"'Kay, here me out, babe. I love you to death, but you don't need to be jealous; I can tell that you are. Courtney's my friend, my best friend. She helped me in a way that she doesn't help clients. She went beyond what she usually does—I can tell, you know? I care about her a lot, man… Don't take it the wrong way. I just like her. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be like this. I tell you what I do with Courtney, don't I? Don't you see the improvements? It may seem like Courtney didn't do shit, but she did a lot. She helps me; I help her. Simple as that." He sighed again, but this time exasperatedly. "I don't know why she doesn't like to be called a 'bitch,' to be honest."
"Did she…tell you why?" Gwen sounded calm now, understanding.
"No. I just feel it. There was this incident one time… She just looked so hurt, like something happened in the past. Ugh, I don't know. She'll probably tell me when she's ready."
"You—you seem more mature now, Duncan. I'm amazed."
"Well, thank Princess, sweetheart."
"Maybe I will."
"Good—'cause it sucks to know that my two favorite chicks are fightin' over me."
Courtney heard a loud noise, and she assumed that Gwen hit him. Good.
Courtney felt herself smiling. The way Duncan talked about her made her feel flattered and warm inside. There was this tingly feeling spreading throughout her entire body. It was unidentifiable, but, regardless, she liked it a lot. No one ever complimented her like that; no one ever thought so highly about her.
No one ever made her feel something warm and tingly like that—not even Bridgette.
So, she sighed and stepped out. She composed her face to make it look like she wasn't eavesdropping. But she knew it didn't matter; Duncan would know. He would always know.
The couple looked up. Duncan smiled at her whilst Gwen observed her carefully. Courtney ignored that and took a deep breath.
"I apologize for my rude, irrational, 'bitchy' outburst earlier," she said sincerely. "It was uncalled for and shameful. I'm a fucking therapist, aren't I?" She laughed without humor.
Gwen nodded, still observing her.
Duncan walked over to her and put a large hand on her shoulder. "She forgives ya, don't worry, 'kay?" He winked. "We gotta go now, Princess. I'd stay and chat with you, but time's a wastin', you know. I have work."
She was shocked. "You have work?!" she yelled out incredulously.
"I'm not that much of a lazy shit, babe. I have responsibilities, too."
Courtney and Gwen snorted at that.
Duncan laughed out loud. He gave Courtney a hug. Courtney didn't know if she should hug back or not. She looked at Gwen, but she didn't look mad. So, hesitantly, she hugged back.
"I'll miss ya, Courtney," he whispered in her ear. "I'll probably hang out with you soon. But for now, gotta spend some time with my girl, you know." He kissed her jaw. "See ya."
That tingly feeling came back.
She watched Duncan go over to Gwen, laughing at her sort of angry face. He slung his arm over her shoulders casually and they headed out. Duncan didn't look back, but Gwen did. She looked at her briefly and gave her a small smile. Courtney knew that it was real and not forced. She was about to return the smile, but Gwen turned her head away.
Courtney looked at the table and found their food, untouched—with the check. She was going to yell at them to pay for their own food when she saw them kiss. It wasn't too long or too short; it was enough.
She smiled at the display of affection, although it made her want to gag a little. She still wasn't used to it. It made her immediately think of Bridgette and that guy.
She walked over to the table and sat down on the dingy chair. She started eating her cold fries. She was feeling warm still. Everything was going fine now. But there was something inside of her squirming around. No, it wasn't anger; something else. It felt all poky and it irritated her a bit.
It felt green.
. . .
"Courtney…it's been a while, hasn't it? If you don't recognize who this is, it's your big sister—Charlotte. I mean, I'm your only big sister, right? Anyways, please call me as soon as possible; I want to know how you're doing, you know? And don't ignore me anymore, Court. I just want to talk to you. Better late than never. Please. I…miss—"
She pressed the delete button hard, quickly.
She muttered a string of profanities under her breath, and walked to her bedroom. As soon as she entered her room, she collapsed on the bed happily, feeling a wave of fatigue hit her immediately. She didn't know why she was so tired today; it's only eleven-thirty in the morning. Today would be her only session with Lindsay. It was supposed to be three days before, Tuesday, but apparently she had yet another appointment with someone else—her boyfriend. Lindsay promised to pay Courtney a lot of money to schedule the appointment on Friday, twelve-fifteen in the afternoon.
Courtney turned over to her right, facing the cream-colored wall.
She couldn't quite explain the "tingly feeling" she was feeling earlier. She never knew that Duncan would be so sweet—in his own way, of course. You would never catch Duncan buying you flowers, calling you cute names instead of "babe," or having a picnic together as their first date. Duncan wouldn't buy you anything; he would call you "babe" or something stupid like "Princess"; your first date with him would probably be in the bedroom with him trying to score one with you. She wasn't sure about the latter, but she knew that the ones before it were true.
It's strange on how I know him so much…, she mused internally. It's like I can easily predict what might happen and what his actions would be, like I've known him forever. Queer.
Her cellphone vibrated from her pocket. Lazily, she answered the phone with a tired, "Hello?"
"Hey, Princess," Duncan's voice said on the other line. "You sound tired."
As soon as she heard his voice, she immediately sat up. She didn't feel so tired anymore. "Duncan," she acknowledged, slightly happy. "How did you get my number?"
"Bridgette…obviously. She's your only friend besides me, anyway." His tone was frank. It irritated her.
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Not that I care. Who cares if I don't have loads of friends?" She took a deep breath. "Why did you call me?"
"Just wanted to talk to you."
For some reason, Courtney smiled at that. His tone didn't have anything romantic underneath; it was just casual, as if they're just friends—which they are.
Then she frowned. She was acting like a typical, naïve high school girl. She wasn't like that in high school, and she will not even be one right now. I am a mature twenty year old woman. I will not be swayed by my friend who is the embodiment of immaturity. No way. Nope. Uh-uh. Never. I'm not in denial.
"Oh, gag," Courtney said. "What's the real reason? No one calls someone just because they wanted to talk to that person. That's stupid, and if you're trying to be all sweet and shit, it's not working at all."
"Good afternoon to you, too, sunshine. And that was the real reason. I feel bad for not talking to you. And I am stupid, so I guess me doing stupid things is not surprising. But I'm not trying to be sweet or shit." He was silent for a moment. "Why? Did you think that I said that just to make you fall for me? Is it working? Wanna make out?"
"Why don't you shove up those stupid questions up your fucking ass, Duncan. I'm not in the mood for you to play around with me; go bother Gwen, if you'd like. I'm sure she'd love to—what?! What?! Did you just say 'good afternoon' to me?! Please tell me that you suddenly suffer from blindness and stupidly trusted a man who has the wrong time when you asked him the time." Courtney was never late for a session with a client. Never.
"Uh, I'm not, Princess. Why? You late for something?" he asked, confused.
Courtney looked at the time and cursed loudly. "Bye, Duncan," she said hastily, ending the call.
She got off of her bed and ran straight to the restroom. She brushed her teeth while brushing her haystack hair. She dumped her toothbrush and brush in her basket of necessities. She changed her clothes to her usual attire. She grabbed her keys and cellphone, running down the stairs, buttoning her blazer. She rushed out to her car and started the engine. Immediately, she zipped right out of her lot, driving slightly over the limit.
Her cellphone rang, and Courtney cussed loudly. She answered the phone: "What, Lindsay?"
"Courtney, where are you? I've been waiting since, like, forever, you know. Hurry quickly! I'm getting lonely," she whined.
"Please be patient, Lindsay. I'm almost there. Some complications…happened. Don't worry."
"All right. But hurry!"
Courtney pressed the flipped her Sidekick close, muttering curses. "Stupid, whiny bimbo."
About fifteen minutes later, she arrived in front of the building. She got out of her car, briefly noticing that she never put on her seat belt. She ran with her heels miraculously. But that was Courtney, being all graceful on anything even with three-inch high heels. She heard Jill ask why she was late, but she ran past her. She cursed at the stairs for being so long. She saw Miranda coming, and pushed her out of her way. Courtney immediately went inside the office.
And saw no one.
Courtney was dead silent. It was like a typhoon. She was moving as fast as she can. The winds were blowing rapidly, striking everyone, striking everything. But now the eye was here. Her surroundings were silent, but inside Courtney, something was brewing. Something deadly. Something volcanic. Something that could blow up this building.
Anger. Pure rage. It was locked up, but now the bars were cracking bit by bit. Her anger was strong. It was going to break out of the cage soon. If someone or something tapped her, that could immediately set it off.
Sensing Miranda behind her, she asked quietly, "Where's Lindsay?"
Miranda gulped audibly behind her. "Uh, she—she just l-left, Miss," she stuttered nervously. "She, uh, told—told me that she wanted to get some bagels because sh-she was hung-ungry. But she said she'll…be…" She trailed off.
Courtney faced towards her, eyes livid as hell. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and her nostrils flared. She looked like an angry rhinoceros. Her figure was shivering, anger pouring out of her quickly. She saw red, she felt red.
Then an explosion happened.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" she roared in a deafening tone. "THAT STUPID BIMBO SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME TO COME HERE IMMEDIATELY AND I FUCKING DID! SHE SAID IN A DAMN UGLY VOICE THAT SHE HAS BEEN WAITING. AND WHEN I COME, SHE'S NOT FUCKING HERE! WHAT THE HELL GOES ON IN HER EMPTY HEAD?! WELL, I GUESS THAT QUESTION MUST BE SELF-EXPLANATORY, RIGHT?! WHEN SHE COMES HERE, OH, SHE BETTER FUCKING PRAY THAT SHE MANAGES TO RUN AWAY. TO HELL WITH THAT—"
"Now, Princess, calm down. You have a vein throbbing on your forehead," a nonchalant voice said out of the hallway.
Duncan came into view with a confused-looking Lindsay behind him. When Lindsay saw how livid Courtney looked, she hid behind Duncan.
Courtney slowly brought her arm up, pointing a finger at Lindsay. "You," she said menacingly.
Duncan grabbed Miranda's and Lindsay's arm, pushing them behind him. "Darlings, you guys have to get outta here. I don't care where you go, but just not near this room—unless you want a hearing aid at this young, sexy age. Now, now. Go away. That's right; you move your legs, Lindsay. Follow what Miranda is doing. Good girl. Bye," he said, and slammed the door shut. "Dumb bitch."
Courtney charged over to Duncan. She pushed him against the wall and grabbed a handful of his shirt with one hand. He was off the ground by mere inches. Her face was centimeters against his, too.
"I almost had her," she whispered angrily. "I almost had her. And then you had to go be all Prince Charming and save her skinny ass! If you think she's a dumb…bitch, then why the hell did you make her go away?! I would've eliminated her already! The world would regain its intelligence!"
He rolled his eyes at her, unsurprisingly not fazed by her anger and the fist gripping his shirt. "Oh no," he said mockingly. "Now let go of my shirt and calm down. Jeez, the same thing happened earlier, but I guess your explosive words just now are bit more dangerous."
"Shut up! She told me to come here ASAP. I sped over here, rushing, and when I arrive, she's not here! What, am I supposed to suddenly forgive her? That's not me; I don't just give out forgiveness like a little angel." The anger was moving around her body quickly, like millions of bouncing balls.
"Hey, Drama Queen, chill. You—"
"I just want to tear off someone's arm, and if you don't get out of my way—"
"Oi, you're getting irritating, Courtney. Shut the fu—"
"I'm SICK AND TIRED of all of these things happening to—" She stopped talking. Her grip on his shirt loosened. Everything was swirling. What was happening? She clutched her head; it was aching. Knives were stabbing it endlessly. She barely heard Duncan who was calling her repeatedly, shouting out her name.
"Make it stop," she whispered. "Make the pain stop…"
"Courtney! What's wrong?!" Duncan, Duncan… Make it go away…
She fell forward, Duncan immediately catching her.
TBC.
[Spring Break.]
