Disclaimer: Joining a Dark Lord may sound like fun, and it is a lot of fun. And it may be true that you won't face any effective resistance, and that you can buy your way out of any trouble. But you shouldn't do it because Most Dark Lords are overly fond of saying 'CRUCIO' and that isn't fun. Although, you might be able to get a note from your doctor saying that you shouldn't be 'CRUCIO'ed' who knows it might work. Or it could also backfire, Most Dark Lords know all sorts of ways to cause pain so I would have your doctor write that you can't be subjected to pain. In conclusion, I would advise you to pick carefully when you're getting ready to chose a Dark Lord to join. And if I were you, I would join one that isn't overly fond of causing pain to their followers.


The Four Founders? Or The Two Founders?


"Guys," Ron looked around the room nervously. "It's been confirmed, Dumbledore . . . Dumbledore's a dark lord."

"No," some unimportant minor character no'ed. "It can't be true."

"Believe me Some," Ron shook his head. "It is, what's worse is that Harry and Hermione are too busy doing deviant things to each other to help us."

"What are we going to do?" Asked one of the three other students dumb enough to think there was a problem.

"I know the 'Redo' charm," Ron held his breath. "The only thing that we can do is to cast it on Harry and Hermione and hope that their past selves will help us."

"Haven't most of their past selves been criminals or perverted librarians?"

"Well . . ." Ron silenced the boy's questions with a well placed right cross, "any other questions?"

"How do we lure them out of their room?" One of the others asked nervously.

"I have a cunning plan," Ron's eyes lit up.

"A cunning plan?"

"Yes a cunning plan." Ron agreed, Vengeance was his.

The three boys made their way to the entrance to Harry and Hermione's suite of rooms.

"Minor unimportant character number one," Ron nodded to the boy. "You knock on the door, while minor unimportant character number two pretends to be dieing or something."

"Yes?" Hermione answered the door, "what is it?"

"Look," Ron pointed. "An unimportant character convulsing."

"That's very interesting Ron," Hermione nodded. "But I have things to do right now."

"Why don't you call Harry over first," Ron smiled nervously. "He always loves to watch the extras suffer."

"Fine," Hermione frowned. "But you're cutting into my recreation time."

"What's going on?" Harry stepped into the doorway.

"Ron wants you to watch this nameless student suffer," Hermione nodded towards the convulsing student. "And now that you've seen it, let's get back to what we were doing."

"Ok," Harry nodded. "Do you expect me to talk?"

"No Mr. Potter," Hermione gave a naughty smile. "I expect . . ."

"Hah," Ron seized his chance and hit both his friends with the 'Redo' Charm.

"Ron?" Harry managed to get his wand half way out of his pocket before falling to the charm's effects.

"And Ha, again." Ron ha'ed down at his friends again. "That's for taking my toothbrush."

"Here's your shoe cleaning brush back Ron," Ginny tossed it across the room. "Though after cleaning off what I stepped in . . . let's just say I think you should get a new one."

"Shoe cleaning brush?" Ron asked dumbly.

"Yup," Ginny nodded. "Sorry I didn't get it back to you as soon as I usually do."

"But," Ron looked at the offending item with growing horror. "I clean my teeth with that."

"You clean your teeth with the same brush I use to clean my shoes?" Ginny looked disgusted, "that's gross Ron no wonder you can't get a girlfriend."

"Oh," Ron looked down at his recovering friends. "Sorry about that guys. I'll just be going, I have another Vengeance to plan."

"What happened?" Harry groaned.

"I'm not sure," Hermione replied. "Who are you?"

"I'm," Harry rubbed his chin. "Godric Gryffindor, who are you?"

"It's me," Hermione rubbed her face. "Helga, you don't look like yourself Godric."

"You're also looking different Helga," Godric nodded. "Let's go find out what's going on."

"Are you really Godric Gryffindor and Helga Hufflepuff?" An awestruck student asked in a tone of awe.

"Sure, why not." Godric shrugged. "What's going on?"

"The Headmaster turned into a Dark Lord," the student's lower lip jutted out and began to quiver. "So we cast the 'Redo' charm on Harry and Hermione so that they would stop him."

"And stop him we shall," Godric agreed. "Come Helga, we have work to do."

The two rushed out and returned about three seconds later.

"Hello all," Harry greeted them in an oily tone. "Why are you all gathered around like that?"

"Who are you?" One of the students asked.

"Salazar Slytherin," Harry smirked evilly. "And this is my associate . . ."

"Rowena Ravenclaw," Hermione finished. "And you have yet to answer my colleague's question."

"Well," the student stammered nervously.

"What are you talking about?" A young muggle born first year looked at the assorted students incredulously, "that's Harry and Hermione."

"We most certainly are not," Rowena replied.

"Fine," the first year frowned. "You're Godric and Helga, happy?"

"Forgive her my Lord and Lady," one of the other students begged. "She means no disrespect."

"What I want to know is how anybody could mistake the two of us for Godric and Helga?" Salazar wondered aloud.

"I agree sir," the student nodded. "You have a goatee and Godric does not, and Rowena wears glasses and Helga does not."

"Have 'Rowena' take off her glasses," the first year protested. "And 'Salazar' take off his beard."

"Look," the other student turned to the first year. "Rowena wears glasses and Helga does not, if Helga was really Rowena then how would she see?"

"Yeah," another student agreed smugly. "And Salazar has a goatee, that's how you know that he's evil. Godric isn't evil and he doesn't have a goatee."

"Ten points each for such great thinking," Rowena nodded. "I just wish you were all in my house after hearing such flawless logic."

"Now leave us," Salazar ordered. "We wish to speak with the first year . . . alone."

The other students rushed away, their desire to protect their comrade overwhelmed by their fear of the two founders.

"What is with pure bloods?" The first year shook her head, "and I know that you 'four' are the same two people."

"That's right," Rowena nodded. "Good job, most people don't figure out that we're the same people."

"But why did you start this in the first place?" The first year couldn't figure that part out.

"We needed four teachers for the school," Rowena shrugged.

"And we didn't think that anybody in the wizarding world would notice," Salazar smirked. "After all, Rowena wears glasses-"

"-and Salazar has a beard." Rowena finished. "Wizards and witches may have a lot of power, but they don't have a lot of common sense."

"If you have even a small amount of intelligence," Salazar continued. "You can make them dance to your tune."

"Wow," the first years eyes widened in shock. "Can you help me get another identity?"

"Well . . . it is both illegal and immoral," Hermione shrugged. "But, ok. When do you want to start?"

IIIIIIIIII

Meanwhile, a group of first years in green cloaks gathered outside the Headmaster's office.

"I don't think he's gonna come out to play with us," a young first year girl pouted.

"How dare you question the Dark Lord . . . Tim," her class mate hissed. "You must be punished."

"Ok," the girl cheered up. "Do you want me to punish you next?"

"Then me," another minion demanded.

At his desk, Dumbledore winced every time he heard one of the children bust into laughter. The Headmaster buried his face in his hands as he wallowed in disgust, how could he have turned a group of innocent first years into a group of Lemon Drop Eaters. Lemon Drop Eaters being the name that the Dark Lord . . . Tim had chosen for his followers.

"I can't see a way that I'll ever be able to repair the damage," Dumbledore took another sip of fire whiskey. "I set those children on the path to darkness and I don't know how to take them off it."

Behind him, Dobby glared suspiciously from his perch on one of the book shelves. "Dobby is watching you Dark Lord pause for dramatic effect Tim," the elf fixed the headmaster with an unblinking stare. "And Dobby will stop you when you try again."


AN: I have no idea how many of these I'll write, I have the ending planned so I guess I'll write them until I get tired of this story and then I'll end it.