[A/N: Remember that this is in the manga timeline in which Ran's parents are killed in an explosion manned by Schuldig and Nagi (under Takatori's command), and Aya was not run over by Takatori's car; instead, she was knocked out by the debris falling from the explosion. Schuldig and Nagi were supposed to kill Aya and Ran as well. They thought that Aya was already dead, and Schuldig decided to keep Ran alive to let him taste "the sin of surviving." Oh, evil evil sexy Schu.]

Chapter 9 Guilty

Everything was coming together in my head, and I was not liking it. What bothered me even more sometime later was the realization that he knew everything I was thinking.

"What's the matter?" He laughed, letting go of Ran's face but keeping his arm around his shoulders. "Didn't expect to see me here?"

"Who are you?" I managed past the intense dizziness taking over me.

/You know the answer to that already./

"I'll kill you," I promised, hating the feeling of his voice inside my head.

He laughed again as if he were enjoying himself immensely. "If you're into formal introductions, my name is Schuldig."

I was never one for languages, but I knew enough of my German to know that meant 'Guilty'. I suddenly felt like an imperial jackass. Ran had been suffering something like this the whole time, and all I could do was telling him that he's insane. This man's name certainly suited him well. I reached for my wire with every intention of hanging him from the side of this building, but I found that my hands were unable to move.

/You weren't really planning on doing something so radical, were you?/ He asked mockingly inside my head, reminding me of what he could do.

"What do you want from him?" I asked, keeping my eyes focused on Ran. He looked as if he were only breathing and blinking on his own will.

"Just some cruel and malicious entertainment." Schuldig grinned, running his fingers along Ran's neck. "You see, I killed his parents. Thought I killed his precious sister, too, but she ended up in a coma instead. Turns out for the best actually because if she had died, Ran would have killed himself, and I'd have no one to torture when I'm bored."

I was shocked to see tears glisten on Ran's cheeks. There was a very unsettling feeling that came with seeing a person, who is so close to utterly emotionless, cry. "Psychotic bitch," I bit out, and Schuldig laughed, apparently taking it as a compliment.

"And then you come along and ruin my fun because, for some insane reason, Ran thinks that I can't do anything to him while you're there."

"Why should that stop you?"

"It's a barrier, if you will. Most people don't do this because there's no reason in thinking that a telepath can't go into your head if you're within an arm's reach of some other random person. He's convinced, and I can't break that barrier of conviction."

"So you resort to screwing up my car engine?" I asked, finally getting the drift of his game. He was obviously not much into physical combat, and being disabled, I wasn't much into it either. I had to keep my composure because a mental battle is what I was in for, and adrenaline does no good for something like that.

"Well, I have to see him sometime. I was starting to miss my little lost lamb."

I laughed. "Your little lost lamb will kill you if I don't do it first."

Schuldig turned to look at Ran again. "That's right," he said into his ear in a low voice, just loud enough for me to hear too. "You are a killer, aren't you?"

"No," Ran argued meekly; more of a plea than an argument, actually. His head tilted back a little bit. It was so absolutely heartbreaking.

"Would dear Aya-chan say the same?" Schuldig grinned and pulled Ran's face back down to show him the body of the man he had just killed. I couldn't move. "What will she think when, if, she wakes up? Her parents are dead and her darling brother is a killer."

Schuldig looked back up at me and moved his hands to rest at Ran's sides. /Careful, Balinese,/ his voice echoed cryptically in my mind, /or I might break your porcelain doll./ I almost threw up upon hearing that. He even knew about that thought! Then, suddenly, Ran fell to his knees as if his life had fled from him, and Schuldig disappeared into the darkness. On the plus side, I could move again.

I ran across the office to where Ran had just fallen to the ground. I knelt down next to him and held him up to assess the damage. He seemed alright physically. He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at me. "Now who's insane?" He asked, seemingly trying to catch his breath.

At that moment I felt as if I would never get his forgiveness for that, nor did I think I deserved it. "I'm sorry," is all I could manage out of my stunned stupidity.

"Hn." Ran pulled himself up and grabbed his katana off the floor, pushing it into the holder at his side.

"Are you alright?" I asked, disbelieving that he's able to shrug this off so quickly.

"Fine." He began walking out of the office, and I followed him out. "Used to it."

I pressed down on the side of my headset. "Bombay, come in."

"Balinese," Omi's voice responded with a certain anxiety in his voice. "Have you found him?"

"Yea, we're both fine, and we got the last target. How do we get out of here?"

Omi heaved a sigh of relief. "Take the fire escape down. It's safer."

I motioned for Ran to go towards the fire escape, and he nodded. "We'll catch up to you. You two can go on ahead without us."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, no sense in keeping you here overtime."

"Got it," Omi said and clicked off. Ran and I made our way down the seven floors on the fire escape without saying anything. In fact, we got into his car and drove almost the whole way home without saying anything.

As we pulled back into the Koneko, I broke the silence. "I want you to know that I really am sorry for not believing you. I feel like such a jackass."

"As you should."

Saw that coming. "Even though there's no reason that you should, and I'll understand if you don't," I stumbled over my words, "forgive me?" Ran pulled the keys out of the ignition, and we both stepped out of the car.

"Yea," he said. Relief swept over me only to be replaced by more guilt. Even if he did give me his forgiveness, I knew that I still didn't deserve it. If anything, that forgiveness made me feel even worse than before.

Omi and Ken were waiting for us in the front. "Aya-kun!" Omi ran up to us. "What happened?"

Ran looked as if he couldn't find the words to answer so I answered for him. "The headset died so he couldn't communicate with us." Which was true to a certain point.

"Well, everything seems fine!" Ken said and stretched his arms. "I don't know about anyone else, but I'm ready to oversleep my shift tomorrow morning."

"Ken-kun!" Omi scrunched his eyebrows and Ken laughed good-naturedly.

"Just kidding! Just kidding!" He said as we all walked towards the exterior staircase to our rooms. Omi and Ken had the two bedrooms on the third floor. They were up those stairs faster than lightening, probably desperate to get some sleep. This mission was longer than it should have been for the little work we had to do.

Ran and I trudged heavily up the stairs, probably for the same reasons. He walked up ahead of me and had his keys out before I even stepped completely off the staircase. He slipped into his room, leaving the door open. I walked in after him.

"Shoes," he said, "and don't forget them like last time."

I obediently pulled off my boots and left them by the door. "Aya," I said, hesitating while I found the right words to say what I meant without screwing it up.

"You don't have to keep apologizing," he said. He pulled off his jacket, hanging it on the hook by the door and watched me, waiting for me to say something.

I realized that he did have a point. It would be useless for me to stress how bad I felt, but it just felt natural to express it as best I could. "Do you believe any of the things he says to you?" I asked as I unbuttoned my long jacket and hung it up next to his.

Ran looked away from me and went to place his katana on its spot on the nightstand. I silently cursed it in my mind. "Sometimes," he finally answered.

I pulled off my watch and belt and left them on top of his dresser. "I don't," I said in all honesty. He quickly turned around and shot me a questioning look. I shrugged and laid down on his bed with my arms tucked under my head. "I just don't."

"I didn't want you to know all that," Ran confessed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Everything that he told you."

"Why not?" I wasn't exactly seeing the fault in me knowing this. "I'm on your side, remember?"

"Every time he comes to me, I always feel like a child, and," he paused as I sat up to face him, "it's degrading."

I wanted to tell him that none of this was his fault and that he isn't a killer like Schuldig said, but I knew if I started saying these things, I would end up sounding so fake. My hand seemed to move up to Ran's face and run through his hair of its own accord. What other ways did I know to comfort someone?

When trying to help a wounded animal, you hold your hand out to hover just above it because you know that attempting to touch it will result in less damage to you than actually touching it if it doesn't wish to be touched in the first place. That's how my lips went to hover just over Ran's, testing to see if it was alright to continue. He suddenly looked as if he were attempting to throw his common sense into oblivion, and I took that as a green light.

I kissed him just very slightly as I wondered why he was letting me do this and why I wasn't stopping myself. Then I realized that he seemed to take a sharp breath every time my lips pressed down on his. He was breathing through me, and that's why, you understand, I just couldn't stop.