Authors Note: It is ridiculous how long this chapter took to get out. I want to say that it won't happen again, but even though I'm plenty motivated on the story, I work two jobs, am active in two clubs, and have so many class obligations my brain feels like mud by the end of the day. And this is in addition to going to protests almost once a week.

I will, however, promise that no matter how long these chapters start taking to come out you will always have at least one or two a month. Always. And now that I'm fully into the swing of the semester I will be able to do a little more.

Disclaimer: I don't own J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter nor Hiromu Arikawa's Fullmetal Alchemist. I never claim the contrary and make no money off of the online publication of this free-to-read fanwork.


The Scientist's Lament

Chapter Nine

Nervewracked


There had been something of a ruckus, when Ed said he'd wanted to go back to work. Absolutely everyone had spouted off reasons as to why that was a bad idea. But it all boiled down to one thing, he realized. The Statute of Secrecy. It was Stern who'd first put name to the concern. "I think it would be better if you were somewhat contained, Professor Elric. The Ministry is touchy about their secrecy."

And with that statement everyone was riled, nodding their heads in agreement. Except one. Ever the voice of reason, Granger piped up. "I, for one, want to continue my muggle classes. I can't do that if one of my teachers is absent."

The adults all seemed to like Granger; the argument was over not long after she spoke up and Ed was dropped off at the high school with her the next morning.

And for a moment, he just stood there, staring at the door to his classroom. It hadn't hit him at the entrance. It hadn't hit him in the adjoining hall. But it hit him here as he stood before the door of his classroom. Granger looked at him.

"Are you alright, Professor?"

Ed jumped. "Ov course," he said. And he was. Sort of. But he felt like a fraud, about to go in and teach children about a science that could be too easily flouted by people like Granger. He took the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. "Given zat my brozer has been acquired by your Frau Veasley for health monitoring, vould you help me grade zee labs? I only managed a few, once everyone vent to bed."

Because that the wizards had insisted on. A goddamn slumber party. They didn't just force him to sleep over, they stayed up all hours of the night discussing tactics. Stern had not given away Edward's age. So even after the other children had been ushered away, he was an allowed and expected presence at the table. And while Ed was no longer sleeping for both himself and Al, his routine was to take that extra sleep he was accustomed to.

"Sure," Granger said, eyebrows going up in surprise. "You trust my work that much?"

Ed nodded tiredly. "Maybe not in zee ordinary course of sings. But I'm tired, out ov time, and I graded yours last night. It vas perfect, like usual."

"Oh," said Granger. "Well, hand them over, then." She put her bag on her desk and walked over to his.

Ed handed her half the stack and settled in. If these labs were anything to go by, the entire class would pass. By a hair's breadth, in several cases, but they would pass.

The rest of the week went by similarly. Night was spent at Red's home, with Red's enormous family. Day was spent at school. Not a moment went by that Ed was not under the watchful eye of at least one of these so called Wizards. Granger may have been a juvenile, but she was competent enough. The adults trusted her, and so her presence too felt just a little stifling.

But one thing was for certain. Al rapidly gained weight under Red's watchful eye. And he gained muscle mass under Ed's. After months of slow progress, this week saw Al nigh fully recovered. There was yet a sallowness to his cheeks, and his bottom ribs still protruded too far over his belly, but there was a new definition to his arms, legs, and shoulders. And he was faster, without the sheer mass of the armor to move.

That was enough to put Ed in debt to the wizards.

And in such a way dawned Thursday night. Ed and Granger returned to the Mole Hole after school to find Red in an absolute flurry.

"Iz everysing alright, Frau Veasley?" Ed asked. Red looked at him from her mop. "Red?"

"Bill's bringing his new fiance to stay the weekend!"

"Who ist Bill, again?" Ed asked. He thought he might be one of the Little Reds, but was not quite sure.

"My oldest," Red said.

"The curse breaker," Granger chimed in. "For the bank."

Ed was not quite sure why a bank would need much more than bankers, but decided to let it go.

"And Harry's due to arrive this weekend!" Red looked at the floor, the mop, shook her head. With a wave of her stick, the mop was gone, the bucket of water was gone, and the floor was clean. "I've never even met this fiance. He just sprang this on us yesterday! Didn't even know he'd had a girlfriend!"

Ed suddenly understood why this Bill might have neglected to tell Red about a girlfriend in the first place. "Vere is Alphonse?" he said once Granger had excused herself in favor of her homework.

Red huffed, said, "In the orchard. I can't understand why you insist on these fistfights, Edward."

Ed smiled at her. "If our teacher found out ve'd neglected zee fighting for as long as vee had? She'd srow knives at us and vork us till vee dropped."

Red's hand flew to her mouth. "Are you mad?" she asked, voice rising to a yelp, but Ed had already pushed through to the kitchen and the back door.

Outside, Boy and Girl Ginger were degnoming the garden. Ed gave a brief wave and continued on. He could see the shape of Al doing push-ups between the fruit trees in the field ahead - Ed made a bee-line for him.

"Al!"

"Brother, you're back!" Al called in Amestrian, letting his chest fall completely to the ground and sitting up. "How are the students?"

"Doing well," Ed said. "Sort of. I have several Ds. But no Fs, and that's good enough."

"I'm glad!" Al said, standing.

And with that, it was on. "Think fast!" Ed threw the first punch, Al threw the second, followed shortly thereafter with a low wheel kick.

Ed felt the air rush from his chest as he hit the ground, but then he was rolling, rolling, standing. He aimed a flesh-footed side kick to Al's chest. Al dodged, but not quite quickly enough and Ed managed to clip him in the shoulder. Al recoiled, but used his back leg to steady himself. Another low wheel kick came at Ed, and he jumped over it. And so on it continued, until the two of them were interrupted by Boy Ginger, staring at them slack jawed.

"Bloody hell," he said. "Never actually bothered to watch you do this."

Girl Ginger was coming up the slight incline behind Boy Ginger, holding a gnome by one foot, evidently ignoring the slew of obscenities coming out of the creature's mouth. "You need to teach us how to do that," Girl Ginger said as she began to swing the gnome in circles up over her head.

"I sink your mozer vould kill us, if vee did zat, Miss Ginny." Alphonse said, as Ed let him up from his pin-hold on the ground. "If sche von't let you in on zee state of zee terrorism, sche von't let you learn zis sort ov fighting."

"I dunno, mate," Boy Ginger said. "I think she's warming up to the idea of us learning to defend ourselves."

Ed decided he agreed with Al on this score. No teaching the Ginger Children things their mother would disapprove of. He didn't want to antagonize his host any more than he usually did. Besides. Ed had too much respect for mothers.

"Nein," Ed said. They looked about ready to protest, but Ed cut them off. "Anyvay, vat is it you vant? You've never come to vatch us before, so I doubt zat i you sole reason vor coming up now."

Boy Ginger looked down at his trainers as Girl Ginger let go of the gnome's foot sending it flying in a chorus of obscenities. Girl Ginger refocused on Ed with a stubborn defiance in her eye, but Boy Ginger shrugged, said, "Mum says dinner's ready, and that she's got Al's potion ready."

Well. That settled it. The spar was over. One of the many things Ed had learned over the past week: Red could out-cook any of the restaurants in Central. And while Ed wasn't eating for both himself and Al anymore, he still had a voracious appetite.

"She's in a foul mood, by the way," Girl Ginger said. "Bill and his 'fiance' have arrived. And boy is Fleur a holy terror."

Ed laughed. "Red must be goink crazy!" He could just see her, arms crossed and eyes wide as she tried to avoid offending her son in front of this girl.

"Vee vill try to schtay out ov her vay," Al said. "Sank you vor zee heads up."

"Both of their ways," Girl Ginger said. "Trust me."

"Gut to know," Ed said as they reached the back door to the house. Al darted ahead, to open the door for the group. The door opened, and Al came to a complete halt.

"Ah!" Al said. "Hallo! Entschuldigung!" Ed poked his shoulder and Al hurriedly corrected himself. "I mean. Excuse me!"

"Bloody hell," said Boy Ginger. Girl Ginger smacked her forehead.

"Not Alphonse, too!"

Al stepped back from the door to properly hold it open. And now Ed understood the ruckus. There in in the doorway, with another tall Ginger Boy standing behind her, stood the most beautiful woman Ed had ever seen. Long silver-blonde hair streamed like water over her shoulders. Or maybe starlight. Her dark blue eyes were certainly enough to generate celestial comparison - big and wide and dark blue as the sky just at dusk.

Ed stood in his best military stance, but even that was hard because this woman's sheer presence knocked the wind from his lungs and send him into a tail spin and - wait a minute.

"You must be ze Germans Madame Weasley was telling me about!"

"Ja," Ed said with effort - English near refusing to come to him, "Zat vould be us!"

The Tall Ginger Boy behind her was smirking. "Hi," he said. "I'm Bill. Nice to finally meet you."

"And I am Fleur!" the blonde said with a toss of her hair - that nearly dragged Ed under again. What was wrong with him? "Eet 'as been so good to meet zis entire family!" She shot Bill a good natured but pointed look.

He smiled, rolled his eyes. "I know, Fleur. We should've done this sooner."

She smiled at Long-haired Ginger Boy before turning back to the four of them.

"Do come in!" she said. "Sorry to block ze door - Bill was going to show me a gnome from 'is garden."

She stepped back gracefully, long fingers sliding on the wood of the door.

"Ah! Nein!" Alphonse said, awkwardly ducking under Fleur's arm and taking the door from her. "Allow me!"

She beamed. "Zank you Monsieur!"

Ed and Ron fell into rigid formation next to Alphonse as Fleur stepped through the door frame, Long-haired Ginger followed her out looking distinctly pleased with himself.

"I can't believe you," Girl Ginger said.

"What, Gin?" Boy Ginger's eyes were on Fleur as she rounded the corner of the house, Bill's hand on her back, to go experience the gnomes.

Edward was fully back to himself and so he turned to the only one of their number who hadn't lost her head. "Vat vas zat, Girl Ginger?"

"It's Ginny, Ed," Girl Ginger huffed.

"But really," Al said, leaning against the open door with eyes wide. "Vat vas zat?"

"Quarter-Veela," Boy Ginger said with a voice near worship.

"And you remember what full-veelas can do, can't you, Ron?" Ginny said, flipping a sheaf of red hair over her shoulder. "Turn into bird-people and eat you."

"Vas?" Ed said, brows shooting into his hair-antenna as his mind went to chimeras. "Vho did zat to zem? Please tell me zat zee party is in prison."

"Did it to them?" Ginny asked, face incredulous, "They're veelas. Their own species. They're born that way."

Alphonse put a hand on Ed's shoulder, and in Amestrian spoke. "Don't think about it too hard, brother. I think it's more of this magic stuff - you should see the books Hermione is making me read. All sorts of weird creatures exist here."

Ed stiffened, and in English, because he half wanted the Ginger Siblings to procure him an answer, said, "Vat kind ov storybook vomited all over zis universe?"

Al administered the save - "He means country. Vee didn't run into zis magic business in Germany."

The Ginger siblings blinked, laughed. "Anyway," Ginny said. "Let's go back inside." She stepped through the doorway - door still held open by Al - in such a good impression of Fleur that Ed could not help but laugh.

Ed ruffled Al's hair as he followed the Ginger Siblings inside.

As they made their way towards the smell of food, Girl Ginger slowed, dropping behind her brother to walk in step with Ed and Al.

And when Ron disappeared into the dining room, Ginny halted, whirled to face them. "I'm going to keep asking for you to teach me," she said.

"Vee vould be perfectly happy to teach you Chemistry," Ed said, but Girl Ginger shot him a look that said she would not be deterred - and suddenly the two inches she had on him seemed a foot.

"You know that's not what I mean."

"Vee vill not do it," Ed said.

"Sorry, Miss Ginny," Al said. "But zee sort ov fighting vee do is not vizout it's risks."

"Vhy do you vant it so badly?" Ed asked. "You have zis magic stuff and all ov you vizards seem to take zat to mean you need nozing else. So vhy do you vant it?"

Ginny's eyes softened and for a moment it seemed she would answer him, but her eyes hardened all over again. She whirled around and flounced around the corner to the dinner table.

Ed exchanged a glance with Al, who shrugged.

"Don't look at me brother, I don't know why she wants to learn," Al said. He paused and his face turned thoughtful. "But if she wants to learn that badly..."

"No," Ed said. "Not if her mother says no. And I'm certain she would."

"Right," Al said. "Let's go eat, brother."

Ed nodded and the two of them followed Ginny's tracks towards the scrubbed wooden table. And there was Mrs. Weasley, potion vial in hand.

"There you are, Alphonse!" she said pushing the bottle into his hand. "Drink up!"

Ed laughed at Al's grimace and sat at the table.

Soon enough, the table was full. Extra stools had to be pulled in from the kitchen when Granger returned from homework duty and Bill and Fleur came in from peeking at what gnomes Ron and Ginny missed.

It was tense and awkward. And the name Harry Potter seemed to skitter through the conversation like a mouse - sneakily and very fast, the name made everyone more restless than they were to begin with.

Ed decided that meeting Potter would answer many of his questions.


Word Count: 2526

Fleur's accent gives me a headache. Ironic, I know. But I get so used to the German that I have to write Fleur with book six open on my lap.

Please tell me what you think!