The Perils of Mary-Sues
Disclaimer: Oh, yes, I own Pirates of the Caribbean! It's all mine! Disney? What are you talking about?
Horror for Norrington and an Unlikely Alliance
A/N: A new chapter, in loving memory of our favorite Commodore, back in the day when he was still alive!
Norrington came out of his office, feeling preoccupied, and nearly ran into a girl standing just outside it. He looked at her. She was about a head shorter than him, with brown hair arranged in an infinitely complex style on her head, a light pink dress with innumerable ruffles, a similarly colored and ruffled parasol and gloves, and huge blue eyes with extraordinarily long eyelashes, which she batted at Norrington.
"Hello," she said, in a breathy voice, with a very pronounced English accent. "I don't believe we've been introduced, but my father has told me all about you. I'm Luna Moonshine," she introduced herself, and swept a very elegant curtsy.
"I – I'm Commodore James Norrington," he said, awkwardly.
"I know…" she breathed, and lifted her hand for him to kiss. He kissed it and she advanced another step, and another, until she almost leaned against him, engulfing him with a strong odor of French perfume.
"Would you like to come into my office – " BIG MISTAKE!
She swept in ahead of him and the second he closed the door, threw herself upon him. Poor Norrington was nearly suffocated with her ardent kisses. Panicking, he managed to disentangle himself from her dress and ran.
When he was out of the door, he ran into none other than Captain Jack Sparrow himself. In this crucial moment, even Jack seemed like a good old friend.
"Jack!" he gasped. "Help me!"
"What's going on?" Jack asked, looking bewildered.
"In there – " Norrington gasped pointing at the door. Jack opened it carefully, then slammed in closed hastily.
"That'd be a Mary-Sue, mate," he said. "Don't know why they'd go for you, though… But hey, a lot went for Will… Until they saw me, that is!"
"Can you get rid of her?" Norrington asked.
"Well, no one's yet figured how, but…" Jack trailed off.
"I know!" he cried. "Let's start an anti-Mary-Sue alliance! Will you join?"
"Of course, if it means, no more problems like these," Norrington agreed, gesturing to the door.
"Great!" Jack exclaimed, sounding excited. "Let's get Will and Elizabeth to join!"
Please review! I'll give you figurative rum!
