S.E. Hinton, not me!
*Soda*
"Ponyboy," I turned the doorknob and opened the door," Ponyboy, I want to tal-," I stopped short, scanning the room. I realized something was missing, not just something but someone. Ponyboy. The window was open, and he was gone, that wasn't a very good sign.
"DARRY!" I yelled panicked. I didn't even register him coming down the hall, only when he was in the room did I notice him. He wore an expression of shock on his face.
"No." He whispered," not again, no," his voice got louder. He went into the sitting room, grabbed his shoes and went outside. I would've gone with him other than the fact that I couldn't bring myself to go. After all, I was the whole reason all of this was happening. All I did was sit down on Pony's bed, hung my head and cried. I reall wanted to talk to Pony, to get him to understand, to apologize to him. I wanted to make him realize people make mistakes, they say things they don't mean, do things they regret. I could only imagine what he was thinking, when I hit him, while he was gone, even know. I never allowed him to explain, I was just mean. I wanted to make sure he knew that stress can cause people to do, and say things they regret, but can't take back, and wish more than ever that they could. I wish I could tell Pony, and make him realize he is and always will be the most important thing in the world to me, and I'd never hurt him on purpose, I'd rather die than hurt him. I also want him to know that it was an accident, and I meant nothing of what my actions were. I want him to know that Darry and I love him.
I heard the phone ringing, followed by Darry walking in the door. I think he was outside for about 15 minutes. He picked up the phone, and answered politely. I just knew it wasn't Pony by the look he kept on his face, but after seeing his muscle relax, and he sighed in relief I knew it had to be good news. I got up from the bed, and stood right behind my brother trying to listen for who it was, but by the time I had gotten there they were off the hook.
"That was Two-Bit," Darry explained turning to face me. I urged him on. "Ponyboy is at his house, they're just talking, everything's okay, Soda, he's safe. Don't worry. He just needs some time." I nodded in acknowledgement.
"I know, I'm gonna go to bed then. Night Dar," and again, I stalked off to Pony and I's room, without the one I need.
*present*
Two-Bit jus pulled up to bring Pony home, he said he wanted to talk to me. I don't know whether to be happy, or scared. The door opened, and they both walked in the door. I couldn't help myself, and ran to my baby brother to hug him. I wrapped my arms around him, and to my surprise he didn't flinch, or shrug me off, which I figured was a good sign, but he didn't hug me back either.
"Ponyboy, can we talk?" I asked, wanting to make sure he would be okay with it.
"Yeah, we can talk, but in our room," I agreed, and followed him into our bedroom.
"Pony, before you say anything, just hear me out. I messed up, big time I know. I was stressed out, and not thinking straight. I didn't mean any of the things I did. I love you more than anything else in this entire world, and after I did that to you i wanted to die, crawl in a whole and disappear." I explained truthfully.
"Look Soda, I don't hate you. Am I mad, not really. Upset, hurt, unsure of what to do? Yes, but do I hate you? Never, I could never hate you Soda, I love you far too much. While I was gone I tried to hate you, but I couldn't. I left to make you happy, because I don't hate you. I know people make mistakes, that doesn't mean they are one, but sometimes people are breakable, like fine china. When they are broken it takes time to pick up the pieces, and glue them back together. Sometimes you can see were it was broken, and other times it was like it is brand new. The point is I need time to pick up my pieces, I never thought I'd hear you say, or do things like that. After Johnny and Dally died, I couldn't deal with it. I was literally broken, and I haven't managed to quite fix myself from that, but this just fractured a mended bridge. Don't hate yourself Soda, because I don't. I love you, but it's going to take time." He looked me straight in the eye, his words broke my heart, but I was greatful to know he didn't hate me, but I didn't want him to be hurt. I just let stray tears make their way down my face, and hugged my baby brother. It just felt good to make contact with him again.
"I'm so sorry, I love you Pony." I sobbed into his hair. He patted my back.
"I love you too."
when we emerged into the living room all eyes were on us. We both had tear stained eyes, and red cheeks. When we were asked how it went Pony answered.
"Things take time," I didn't like that answer, I wanted things to go back to the way they were. I wanted them to be better right now, but I was happy just to have him talking to me again. I know he's right though, things will take time, but for him I have all the time in the world.
people, they make mistakes, that's what makes life. They aren't perfect, the get jealous, judgemenatal, sad. They look down upon people with less than them, and are envious of people with more. They break when lines are crossed, and are easily hurt. They are made of flesh, bone, and blood. They are not indestructible, and don't come with instructions, or signs that say caution handle with care... The don't have a manual on how to live life, nor a switch to shut off all pain. They are simply just living, that's all anybody is ever doing, but with time everything will fall to place, and the broken will get mended, and mistakes shall be a way into success.
Sorry about the motivational thing, but I can't really get it out of my head. I wrote it myself not too long ago after my mom passed away, and just felt like it was fitting for the end of this chapter. Thank you all, I love you!
~Kate
