"Yeah, that's right. Don't stop," Greed sighed, feeling the pleasure shooting up his spine and leaned back in the big armchair.

He couldn't say – and he honestly didn't care – if Sandra's skills at managing "Crown" were up to par, but Greed would never deny that she possessed a very talented mouth.

She had taken a shine to him soon after he had... appropriated the hotel, but since every single time he had been here it was in Envy's company, nothing had come out of it. Until now.

No.

Forget Envy. At least for now.

Gotta relish the moment. Gotta live for that.

That's why he was sitting there, in the penthouse, enjoying the warm autumn evening and the dedication of the hotel manager. Even a Homunculus needed to unwind every once in a while, and Greed had had enough of worrying.

He didn't even know where Envy was, and perhaps that was for the best. At least for now.

As he watched Sandra's blonde head bobbing up and down in his lap, Greed allowed himself a smirk of self-satisfaction.

He still had it.

All it had taken was a bit of flirting and a few glasses of wine before the end of the work day, and she was down on her knees, worshiping her new boss. She was a curious little thing, asking him about the story behind his name, which she had assumed was some sort of a moniker, and how he knew Mr. Finkel, the previous owner and why had he gifted "Crown" to Greed, and so on, and on, and on. She hadn't asked about Envy. After a while he had had enough and found a better use for Sandra's mouth.

He was so engrossed in the sensation that when Envy and Bido walked in, he needed a second to actually get his bearings and process everything at once.

Fuck. He got caught with his pants down. Literally.

Fuckfuckfuckfuuuuck!

Wait... Bido?! Alive, and in Central? With Envy?

WHAT?

Without even thinking about it, Greed shoved Sandra away, pulled his leather trousers up and hauled her out of the penthouse, past Envy and Bido, not even registering her complaints and questions.

"Get the fuck out," he growled before almost tossing her into the hallway and slamming the door closed.

He stood still for a moment, feeling his Adam's apple bobbing up and down in his throat, much like...

Crap...

Greed turned and looked at Envy.

He expected utter fury and hatred. He knew how to handle those.

He got nothing instead. Just a blank expression. Not even a spark of bitterness in their big, violet eyes.

He had no idea what to do with that. No idea what to say.

So Greed did the only thing he could think of. He compartmentalized. Deal with Envy and make it up to them later. For now, Bido.

His eyes shifted towards the gecko chimera. He looked gaunt, well... more gaunt than he had been before, anyways, as if he hadn't slept and eaten well in a long time. His gaze flickered between Greed and Envy, and he looked terribly uncomfortable. Bido had always been the most socially awkward member of the Devil's Nest gang, and even Greed couldn't deny that this situation was exceptionally shitty and awkward.

Bido gulped and forced himself to look at him. "M-mister Greed," he said slowly, small voice quivering, "Thank God, I... I thought I was the only one left," he shook his slightly misshapen bald head, "Roa, Dolcetto, Martel, Ulchi... they're all dead, and I thought you might be too when the soldiers took your body away, but I had to come and see. Miss Envy brought me here," Greed saw Envy rolling their eyes at the honorific, but before they could say anything, Bido ran and gave Greed a clumsy hug.

Greed watched as Envy turned around and headed towards the balcony.

"Envy, wait, sweetheart," Greed untangled himself from Bido's spindly arms and moved after them, but they stopped and turned their head to give him the same hollow look they had graced him with earlier. "What's going on?"

"Don't say I never gave you anything," Envy smirked mirthlessly as they opened the doors and stepped out.

And then, in a flash of red light that glimmered beautifully against the setting sun, they changed their form and suddenly a large, black raven flew away from "Crown"'s penthouse.

Greed stared after it until even his enhanced vision could no longer see them.

He could feel the emotions warring inside. Relief that at least one of the chimeras had survived Dublith. Awe that Envy of all people would have made the effort to spare Bido and bring him to Greed.

And guilt.

That was the real bitch.

He had never felt guilty about anything before. He was Greed. He was made to want and to take. No remorse, no regret and no guilt. But as his throat constricted and his gut clenched painfully, he recognized the feeling and he suddenly felt like a rotten bastard.

It was so much easier to humiliate, betray and degrade those you cared about than it was to admit... what, exactly?

Greed lifted his left hand and looked at the Ouroboros mark on its back. A dragon eating its own tail.

How fitting.

He heard Bido shuffling his feet behind him.

"I really am an asshole, aren't I, Bido?" Greed asked without turning.

"Errr..." Bido hesitated, "I'm just glad you're okay, Mister Greed," he said finally.

Greed sighed and turned around.

"Tell me everything," he said.

It didn't take nearly as long as Greed thought it would have. Half an hour later they were sitting on the balcony, staring at the darkened sky, silently remembering their old comrades.

"What happened to their bodies?" Greed finally asked softly as he reached to pour some wine in Bido's glass.

"I... I'm not sure," the chimera lowered his eyes, the lizard tail twitching sadly underneath him. "I think the soldiers just dumped them somewhere and burned them."

Greed's fist clenched and the glass shattered in his hand. He hissed at the sting of the wine when it made contact with the cuts. He began removing the pieces of glass as his skin started knitting itself back.

"Never thought you would turn out to be the reckless one," Greed declared as he pulled out the last piece and stared at it, starlight reflected in glass and blood. "Coming to Central is one thing, but to get lost in the lair... There are a million ways to die there, and none of them are pleasant, believe me."

"I... I know," Bido nodded, "But I couldn't just leave you for dead here."

"You're a good guy, Bido," Greed clapped him lightly on the shoulder. It felt bony and weak. "I'm glad you didn't die there."

"I guess I'm lucky Miss Envy found me," Bido said simply and drank.

Greed tsked. "Yeah, that one is a mystery I'll have to unravel later," he shrugged and took a swig straight out of the bottle since he no longer possessed a glass. "Trust me when I say this, but Envy should have been one of the worse things to stumble upon there. I have no idea why you're still alive and unharmed, to be completely honest."

The chimera just blinked at Greed for a second, "I m-mean, I said I was looking for you. That must have been why she spared me. I told her we're friends."

Greed let out a halfhearted chuckle. "First of all, Envy is not a girl, Bido," he said.

"Oh..."

"Second, and more important, saying that you're with me should have gotten you killed even harder. Things... are not great between me and Envy right now."

"Oh..."

Greed felt a spark of annoyance. "You got something to say, gecko man?"

"It's... it's not my place," Bido lowered his eyes and drank his wine.

"Just spit it out," Greed waved a hand, irritated.

"Well... errr... I really don't know lots about your past, Mister Greed," he shrugged, "You never told us much about the other ones like you. The other Homunculuses."

"Homunculi," Greed corrected him absent-mindedly.

"Yes, that," Bido nodded eagerly, "But from what I could see, you mean a lot to Miss... Mister... well, to Envy," he leaned forward to look at Greed, "And, well, earlier... err.. you know..."

"Yes, I know," he took a deep breath and got up. He looked down at Bido. "Stay here. I'll tell the staff to bring you something to eat."

"Where are you going, Mister Greed?" Bido sounded worried.

"I have to speak with Envy," Greed answered sincerely.


That turned out to be easier said than done.

Envy was nowhere to be found, and Greed knew all the places in the lair where they would hide when feeling dejected.

At the end he had to turn to his last resort.

"Pride!" Greed eventually shouted, his voice echoing in the empty underground darkness. "Get here, I need to talk to you!"

For a moment nothing happened. And then the blackness around the lamp Greed had brought specifically to provide his eldest sibling with a light source started moving, and the shadows were suddenly circling around him. It reminded him of a predator stalking its prey. Greed swallowed and reminded himself to be smart about this.

You seem to think I'm your butler or something, Greed, Pride's disembodied voice sneered from everywhere and nowhere at once. What do you want? Be quick about it, I have things to do.

"Where is Envy?" It was best to jump straight to the point. Pride had absolutely no taste for beating around the bush. If he told you to be quick about it, you were quick about it. "I can't find them anywhere."

Away, Pride answered simply, almost giving the impression of a shrug with just his tone.

"Away where?" Greed pressed on the issue, careful to keep his voice humble, much as it displeased him. It was never a good idea to be snotty to Pride the Arrogant.

He felt Pride's cold, shadowy tendrils slithering up his shoulders and throat. Greed braced himself for the pain and didn't flinch when the skin on his jaw was suddenly cut open.

Pride's shadows were sharper than the sharpest human razor.

You presume too much, Greed.

"Look," he lifted a hand in a placating gesture as the red light of his Stone started sizzling around his face. "I just need to speak with Envy, that's all. It's between us, it has nothing to do with the plan or anything like that."

I thought as much, Pride sounded vaguely reproachful. But believe it or not, little brother, some of us care about the work we're doing more than we do about our personal affairs.

Greed knew what he had to do. It wasn't easy.

But nothing that was worth it was ever easy, right?

"Please," he bit the word out. Pride loved it when people begged and the satisfied hum that reverberated in the dark as his shadows retreated from Greed's face proved that. "Just do me this one favor. I've never asked anything of you, after all."

The shadows were silent for a moment.

And then a few immaterial eyes appeared in the darkness, piercing Greed under their glare.

A favor for a favor. How about that, Greed?

He sighed. Did he even have a choice?

"Very well," Greed nodded. "So, where is Envy?"

The eyes squinted at him. I sent Envy to the North, Pride said. Things are moving fast. Kimblee failed to recapture Dr. Marcoh and Scar bested him in combat. He sounded annoyed. General Raven went to Briggs to bring things in order, but it seems that the fool babbled too much and Armstrong had to kill him.

"Wait, what?" Greed was confused. "Armstrong? The big bald guy with the mustache?" That made no sense whatsoever.

No, you cretin, I'm talking about his sister, the Ice Queen. She's with us now and is coming to Central to take Raven's place. Ah, that was more reasonable. The big shots in the military were always ready to backstab each other to climb higher. She was supposed to keep the Elric brats under lock and key at Briggs until Kimblee could get them to help him carve the final Crest of Blood there, but they managed to slip away, as usual. I suspect some sort of foul play with Scar, personally. Pride seemed really brassed off about the whole debacle. That alone was worth it. Luckily, the shadows drawled, one of Kimblee's men managed to make contact with us. We know where Marcoh is, and I sent Envy to take care of it. Are you pleased now?

Greed took a deep breath, forcing himself to not fly off the handle. The way Pride told it, the Elrics had turned the plans about the North into a mess and now Envy was going right in the center of it.

He had a bad feeling about this.

What if Envy was killed?

The last they would have seen of Greed was...

Goddammit!

Silently cursing his own nature, Greed composed himself.

"I'm going there too," he said, extremely calmly, "It's better to have two of us there."

See, that's just the thing, suddenly a fanged mouth appeared in the blackness before Greed and grinned at him. A favor for a favor, I said. You agreed. Now it's my turn.

Greed clenched his teeth. "What do you want?"

Well, it's less of a favor and more of an order, Pride let out a soft, sinister chuckle. Once the Crest of Blood at Briggs is carved and Sloth is done with the circle, he will go back to Central to guard Father until the Promised Day comes. But we're not quite there yet, and even I can't be everywhere at once. So, Greed, you are not going anywhere. Envy is going to kill Scar and bring Marcoh – and the Elrics too, if they're involved – back. And you will do nothing but stay here and do your duty to Father.


Talk about unfortunate timing, right?

Couple of minor things:

- Bido appears here maybe about 10 or so episodes earlier than he did in the show when GreedLing killed him. I'm not sure why he got to Central so late, but for the purpose of the AU let's just assume he managed to travel faster or something.

- General Armstrong is not a villain, of course, but she did try to convince the brass that she's on their side for a while, and Pride's comments about how she's "with them now" reflect that. Remember, unlike readers/viewers, characters are neither omniscient nor omnipresent. Not even Pride is.

- Greed is gonna be Greed. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. In this chapter, it was for worse.

Peace!